I didn't do a pre-wedding journal, but...

[amisteratwisterandme]

I'm glad grandpa took it all in stride!

[gwenshack]

Originally Posted by amisteratwisterandme

I'm glad grandpa took it all in stride!

Me too! Phew...!

So I spent most of the day, again, watching the playoffs. I really think this is my favorite weekend of the year. I'm usually not so lazy, but this is just awesome. I get up to eat and pee. Ha. Yes, the playoffs go on for 40 days, but there's something about that first weekend, when there are 8 games over the course of the 2 days, when anything can happen and every team that qualified plays. After this weekend they have one or two games a day - it's not as much of a time commitment, and the outcomes are slowly shaping up. And as the playoffs continue and teams get eliminated there are less and less games until we've whittled down the field to just the final 2 teams.

But this weekend is great - so much hope and promise. And who doesn't love just being a great big lump of laziness once in a while? I love how I feel like I could nap right now and I've done NOTHING - zero.

I did speak to my best friend. She and the baby got to come home yesterday. She swears her kid is cute and that she's not biased. Yeah, right. I'll meet my faux-niece in less than 2 weeks, so that'll be cool. And exhausting. My friend claims that the whole labor and delivery thing wasn't that bad, but I'm not sure I buy that.

My friend was in a pretty excellent mood though, seeing as she's gotten a total of like 8 hours of sleep over the past four days. She seemed to be seeing the humor in the dirty diapers, but maybe she's just slap happy.

[Danielle9608]

Originally Posted by gwenshack

So today is one of my least productive days of the entire year. Today the NBA playoffs start, which essentially means I sit on my butt and watch basketball all day long. DH keeps coming in and saying "What's all this hootin' and hollering going on in here?"

He hates basketball. He's not participating in this day of laziness. Of course, last I checked, when I got up to make a sandwich, he was watching recorded cartoons from Adult Swim. So it's not like he's being any more productive with his day than I am...

There was some absolutely dumb drama that has unfolded over the past couple of days. My brother's girlfriend sent pictures to my grandfather of me from the night before my wedding, which is just a real invasion of privacy. No, I didn't have a stripper or anything raunchy - it was just me hanging out with my friends. But there was something in the pictures I didn't want my grandfather to see (it's stupid, trust me), and she used absolutely no common sense and didn't use any kind of screening process before sending pictures to my GRANDFATHER. First of all, I was sort of under the assumption that what happens in Vegas the night before you get married STAYS in Vegas the night before you get married - tame or not, it wasn't supposed to go out on the AP wire to my grandfather. My brother was freaking furious with her when he found out, and he unleashed his temper that I hate - but in this case sort of support - and she's apparently really sorry, but I think the problem is bigger than the pictures.

This girl is the biggest kiss @ss ever. There's a line you don't cross, in my opinion at least, with in-law families. You don't spill secrets, which she does all the time. My brother tells her stuff and then she goes shopping with my mom or something (they're like BFFs now or something) and then she'll REPEAT what my brother said to my mom. Which I think is totally messed up. And it's setting bad precedent for my DH. You know, DH isn't very social. He's not somebody who's going to kiss your @ss, have small talk, and pretend to care about stuff he doesn't. He's nice to my mom, civil and friendly, but he's not trying to have any kind of close relationship with her - like a one on one relationship - he has nothing to do with my mom if I'm not in the room. And vice versa. I don't have a separate thing going with his mom. Anything he wants communicated to his mom, HE has to tell her, and he would never go behind my back and tell my mom something either. But this girl does it all the time. So often my mom will tell me something about them or my brother or their relationship and I'll ask if my brother told her that and she'll say that the girl did. But because of this awkward relationship, my mom thinks that DH doesn't like her. No, he just doesn't want you to be his friend - he wants you to be his MIL.

So anyway, brother is mad at GF and I'm mad too. DH said I should make sure to take lots of pictures the night before SHE gets married and then send them to her in an e-mail with the subject line "What I would never send to your parents and grandparents".

Meanwhile, I'm going to have to justify my actions the night before I got married to my GRANDFATHER - even though it's none of his business and he shouldn't have been privy to the information in the first place.

So I'm just bloody annoyed. It's seriously the dumbest drama ever, and it's been going on for three days. Three days of this. I was so annoyed last night I didn't even feel like going out. DH and I stayed home and ate pretzels and watched The Jerk, which is by far one of my favorite movies ever.

Anyway, back to the NBA. Happy playoffs!

WOW! I am speechless. I am so sorry!

[gwenshack]

So as finals approach, DH's that is, the touchier he gets. I'm really glad I'm bailing out the weekend before because he's been a real little b**ch lately. I say that with love. Ha.

I know he's stressed and I'm forgiving and let it slide, but there have been a couple of times the past few days when I want to throw something at him because when he's stressed or POed he holes up in his office, coming out to get food or beverage, and he just STAYS in there. Sometimes he doesn't even come to bed. It's like I'm not here. And when he does emerge I'll ask something like "How's it going?" and he'll basically grunt at me.

He's not usually like this, only really around finals time, so I've seen this before and I'm again willing to overlook it. But if he was like this all the time I'd throw him out on the curb!

[ChristineLS]

Originally Posted by gwenshack

So as finals approach, DH's that is, the touchier he gets. I'm really glad I'm bailing out the weekend before because he's been a real little b**ch lately. I say that with love. Ha.

I know he's stressed and I'm forgiving and let it slide, but there have been a couple of times the past few days when I want to throw something at him because when he's stressed or POed he holes up in his office, coming out to get food or beverage, and he just STAYS in there. Sometimes he doesn't even come to bed. It's like I'm not here. And when he does emerge I'll ask something like "How's it going?" and he'll basically grunt at me.

He's not usually like this, only really around finals time, so I've seen this before and I'm again willing to overlook it. But if he was like this all the time I'd throw him out on the curb!

Your husband and my fiance! Thank goodness the entire academic year isn't like this! Or they'd have curbside company

[amisteratwisterandme]

I don't know what my problem is, but when fh is in a bad mood it automatically lights a switch in me to be in a bad mood. Of course, I fight the urge, but I get ya with wanting to throw something at him.

[gwenshack]

Originally Posted by amisteratwisterandme

I don't know what my problem is, but when fh is in a bad mood it automatically lights a switch in me to be in a bad mood. Of course, I fight the urge, but I get ya with wanting to throw something at him.

I think that's normal - because that's certainly how I was feeling when I made that post. I think moods are contagious!

[amisteratwisterandme]

Funny thing is, I even ask myself what I am mad about and never have an answer! But I don't take it out on fh (Mostly)

[gwenshack]

May is going to be a really hectic month. There's bad hectic and there's good hectic, but I really think this is a combo of both. May 2nd I'm going up to SF to visit my MOH and my brand new faux-niece, which should be a completely insane experience. On the 5th I leave there and go back to Vegas. The 11th brings me back home and then the 13th DH and I go to Texas for his niece's graduation.

We made those Texas plans yesterday - we're going to Austin, which is pretty cool. I've never been to Texas before, but I've always heard good things about Austin - a lot of people I've known in D.C. have moved there because it has a very similar vibe and music scene. So I'm curious to check that out. We're spending 2 nights in a historic hotel in the 6th street area, since that's supposed to be THE PLACE to be, and we're taking a road trip to San Antonio (since I've always wanted to go there) and then we'll spend 2 nights at his sister's house. That'll be a fulllllllll house - his sis and her husband, their two 20-something daughters, MIL, the two of us, and a partridge in a pear tree. Yippee. Apparently they have all sorts of activities planned, so at least it won't be the mindless sitting that is involved with visiting MIL in Iowa. It's exhausting doing nothing all day, so I'm usually pretty tired when we visit there. Last time I went out in the mid-July humidity and heat to take a walk so I could get out of the blasting air conditioning and monotony.

So, yeah, May is going to be a busy month.

The other thing going on is that I'm really conflicted about this weekend's plans. DH's groomsman invited us down to the beach near their place (basically 2 and a half hours away) for his birthday. I'd be ok going, but DH and I have agreed to not socialize with the OTHER groosman (who I have referred to a few times on OW as PIG BUTT - Pain In Gwen's Butt) since the wedding. If you read my summary of the wedding, you will recall that this guy (who is 32) tried to compete for the attention of DH's nieces (who are 20 and 22) against my brother and his friend (both 22). DH specifically told PIG BUTT to not hit on his nieces, not say anything offensive or derogatory, and to generally behave himself. Sad he needed to be told, but he has a history of bad behavior. Basically, PIG BUTT didn't like that my brother and his friend were vying for the attention of the forbidden fruit that is these young ladies (and they had DH's blessing to try to befriend the girls) and he called them F*gs.

WAY over the line. In addition to insulting my brother, his friend, putting DH's nieces in an awkward spot, he also insulted me and DH, our families, and our friends all with one word. There were many gay people in the room and DH had warned PIG BUTT that his haphazard use of the word gay and the "f" word were inappropriate and that they wouldn't be tolerated at our wedding. We wanted to make sure that our gay friends felt welcomed and appreciated AS IS - no judgment or criticism - dance and have a good time - this is a safe place. So basically with one word we felt like he offended the entire room, even though very few people heard it. He was asked to leave and we haven't seen him since.

Since the wedding DH and I decided that PIG BUTT is in exile - we're not going to see him. He must be punished. This isn't the first time we've put him in exile either. Before the wedding in March I hadn't seen him since the previous February - 13 months. The wedding was supposed to be the truce. He failed miserably.

So I feel like if I don't go down to this birthday thing it'll cause drama with the other groomsman and his wife, who already have beef with me and whine to DH, saying that I don't like them, blah blah blah. Truly, I don't like them, but I've always been nice to them. I just don't go out of my way. I did in the beginning, but they were so cool and unfriendly to me the first few times I met them that I felt completely shot down and decided that it wasn't worth it to try to be over friendly and witty if it wasn't going to be received. Couple that with the instant connection I saw them make with PIG BUTT's ex (who was using him for money because she needed somebody to take care of her kid after the father threw her out - they've since broken up since she left him the moment he lost his job - coincidence I think not...) that I pretty much realized that I wasn't going to be good friends with these people. We typically only see them a couple times a year, so I deal and I'm nice to them, but they're just not my favorite people. But anyway, if I don't go to the birthday thing because I don't want to deal with PIG BUTT, then they'll just have more fodder to whine about. But if I go then I'll have to deal with PIG BUTT and it's still way too soon after the fact, and, frankly, I'm not somebody who holds back and pretends. If I think something I'm going to say it. I don't fake nice. I'm a nice person, and I try to be nice to everybody, but if you've done something messed up I'm going to let you know it. I excommunicate people when I hit a certain point because I don't put up with garbage. I would have excommunicated PIG BUTT loooong ago, but I feel like it's not my call because he was (is?) DH's friend and I feel that the final nail in his coffin should come from DH, not me. I know that DH has contemplated telling him where to stick it on a number of occasions, but DH is just too nice. He wants to give people the benefit of the doubt, that one more chance. PIG BUTT has gotten sooo many last chances.

I've always been somebody who would rather have one real friend - or, heck - even NO friends over a bunch of bad friends.

Enough rambling...

[gwenshack]

So I didn't go. I decided that time and place considerations left me uncomfortable, since I wouldn't want to go off on PIG BUTT during somebody's birthday celebration. DH went on ahead without me, completely understanding where I was coming from, and said that he didn't want to go either but felt obligated to. He said that PIG BUTT would be informed that DH was putting aside his feelings about the situation to be civil with him during the other guy's birthday but being in the same room changes nothing.

I like the fact that DH and I can make individual choices. I like that he knows I won't get mad at him for going and I know he won't get mad at me for choosing not to. I like the fact that we can have a united front anyway. That's a nice feeling.

In other news, I'm getting giddy about my trip. I can't wait to get out of here! Not that every day life isn't awesome - I certainly don't have anything to complain about - but I'm excited to see my friend and the baby. And I'm certainly excited about my days alone in Vegas. I know, I know - I was just there! But I was seeing to everyone else's needs nearly every moment and it'll be nice to just hang out alone and enjoy the city. Oh, and I made a spa appointment! I have this big plan to go to the pool in the morning and then go have a massage - a day of relaxation! Yay!