The Horrible Truth

[tinkerjew]

If anyone has kept up with my journal, you'll know that my best friend Taryn stepped down from her MOH role. She told me that she and her husband wanted to have a baby and she wanted to do other things with her life that would make her too busy to take on that responsibility.

I found out tonight the horrible truth. She was forced to lie because her husband didn't want her to be in the wedding and didn't want her to hang around me.

I found out when her husband physically abused her today by pushing her outside into a mud puddle, punching her in her face, and running over her with his car.

Thankfully, she'll be okay physically. The emotional healing is going to take a long time, however. She is still my best friend and Larry and I will be there for her whenever we can. She still wants to be a part of the wedding party, but since I have a new MOH and since she is going through so much right now, she won't be able to take on the duties. The last thing she needs is more stress.

Even if she just showed up in her dress, I would be eternally thankful for that. She means the world to me and I love her so much. I will always be her friend...

... just thought I'd share.

[ladymelissa]

OMG! He literally ran her over?! And she is still alive to talk about it?! I just hope she gets as far away from him as possible!

[frenchie]

Oh that's horrible! He ran over her??? She really needs to get help + a divorce + a restraining order :(
I'm so sorry your friend is going through that.

[SerendipityCrafts]

Please tell us that she's not going to stay with this maniac!

[NicksBride]

omg that is horrible!!!!! Your poor friend, have you seen her? Is she going to be OK with her injuries? That is just unacceptable. I hope she lied about having a baby as well, that would just be awful.

[Jacklynn]

That is awful! Domestic abuse is so wrong. My childhood babysitter was murdered almost two years ago by her husband. She was in the process of trying to move out, and he shot her 17 times while their 3 kids were locked in the next room. And he has the balls to pled not guilty! ohhh he boils my blood....

anyways, make sure she has the help she needs! Help her to realize she needs out, it is NEVER okay to be abused AT ALL, you never know where it could lead, and plus its just not okay. Sadly she may try to refuse and defend him... it happens like that a lot :( I just suggest helping her see whats going on from an outside perspective.

[Goin2thechapel]

Please tell us that she's not going to stay with this maniac!

Unfortunately with domestic violence cases, Statistics are against her. I don't know the exact percentage but it's over 50 percent, that says the victim will return back to her partner after the abuse has occured...Too sad :(

[SerendipityCrafts]

Unfortunately with domestic violence cases, Statistics are against her. I don't know the exact percentage but it's over 50 percent, that says the victim will return back to her partner after the abuse has occured...Too sad :(

I've heard that. I am just hoping that she is one of the smart ones that get out before he manages to do worse.

[shawnsgirl]

Oh my that is just gut wrenching. I am soo sorry to hear this. He is not only and abuser but is a control freak and it's not going to get better for her unless she leaves him. I hope she realizes this. I hope she is strong enough to leave him and never look back. Like others have said the statictics are against her a lot of women go back! I hope she doesn't!

[samantha01]

That would explain her actions lately. If he was that type of person to do those horrible things to her then she was def. feeling pressure from him to get you out of her life.
The sad thing is that more than likely she will have some excuse for what he did to her and we all know this is not the end.
I agree, you need to make sure that you are there for her in her times of need. It will be hard for her to find time to talk to you if she stays with him but just let her know if she has to sneak out of the house to call you will still answer.

[gennymac]

There is only one way to stop this poor sweet soul from being hurt further - she has to turn and walk away - and not look back. Stay as far away from him as possible, no answering calls, texts, anything. Just walk away - take the necessary steps from a safety standpoint and from a legal standpoint and make it very very clear to the authorities that she wants nothing to do with this man whatsoever in any way.

That is the only way she will be able to move forward. Any further contact with him directly, no matter how small or no matter how important it might seem, will drag her back into danger.

My heart aches for her.......this is a lonely road and she is the only one who can walk it.

Gen

[bichonlvr]

I am sooo sorry!

She is going to need A LOT of support right now! Luckily she has you guys to be there for her, etc!!!!

[StaceyMc]

Your post just gave me chills. Be sure to let her know that you are there for her, no matter what. The other posters are right, victims go back to their abusers. She's going to need to major support. She'll be in my thoughts.

[ger]

OMG. As others have said, I so hope she gets out and away from this person. I am so glad that you now know the truth and can show her support. I'm hoping that someone saw all this and called the police. The poor thing. You're a good friend.

[WendyNC]

Tell her to be careful! Statistics are against her in another way... once a woman does decide to leave an abuser, her risk of serious harm is increased. That is a very scary situation, and I hope he leaves her alone.

[tinkerjew]

Thank you everyone for your undying support for her. Prayers are also appreciated.

The good news is that she is going to be okay physically. However, the emotional healing is going to take a lot longer, and I will be there for her every step of the way. She is filing for divorce and there is a warrant out for his arrest. This is her story.

Taryn called me yesterday early afternoon to vent because Adam* was being very mean to her. She tried to tell him about her day and he got pissed so turned up the volume on the TV really loud to drown her out. He then yelled at her, calling her a whole bunch of names and after she asked him what she did wrong, Adam screamed, "Nothing!" and left the house. She followed him to find out where he was going and he rolled down the window and threw his wedding band in the front yard. She then called me in tears, wondering what she had done wrong while searching for his band in the yard. I told her nothing and we talked for a bit. After she calmed down a bit, she saw him pull up in the driveway and told me that she had to go, like she was going to get caught if Adam saw her talking to me.

Adam came back, yelled at her, wrote "F*** you B**** on their marriage license, then tossed it in her face. He went back outside and she followed him, marriage license in hand. Instead of crying, she finally stood up to him and when he got in his car, threw it back in his face. She saw the look in his eye and knew that he was enraged, so tried to run back into the house and lock the door behind her so that he couldn't get in. He got out of his car and caught up with her, pushing her down in the mud (it was raining very hard, by the way). He then turned her over and decked her in her face. She got up and followed him back to his car and he ran over her foot. She fell down, her body hitting his car before she hit the ground. He got out and said, "IF YOU WANNA HIT MY CAR, I'LL HIT YOURS!!!" He proceeded to her car and kicked it before getting back into his own. Taryn was still on the ground and cried out, "Oh my G-d, Adam! You just ran over me! Help me!" He said, "F*** you, B****, and peeled out of the driveway.

A passerby who witnessed this pulled up into the driveway as she was calling me and helped Taryn. She was trying to help Taryn. All Larry and I heard on the phone was a blood curdling scream. Larry grabbed his baseball bat and we promptly left to her house. Larry told me to call 911, so I called Taryn to tell her that I was going to and she told me her mom had already done so.

The cops and her mom were already there when we got there. I ran to Taryn, almost tripping because it was so wet and slippery. She was covered in mud and tears and blood ran down her cheek from where he punched her so hard, it broke her skin. The tire tread marks were on her foot. She looked an absolute mess and all we could do was cry in each other's arms. I couldn't understand how someone could try to corrupt something so sweet and innocent and precious. It tears me in pieces.


*Name changed to protect the not-so-innocent

[tinkerjew]

By the way, Adam not only told Taryn she couldn't be in the wedding, but that she couldn't even attend it. He also told her mother this.

[WebLady]

Wow :bbeek:

I hope your friend gets far away from this guy and he spends some time in jail for what he has done :snide:

[bichonlvr]

WOW!!! Tears in my eyes...so sad!!!

I thought this **** only happened in the movies (okay I know that is not true, but :( )

[tinkerjew]

No one knows where he's at... I hope he's not lurking around Fort Wayne. A restraining order has been filed, also.

[tinkerjew]

The sad thing is that more than likely she will have some excuse for what he did to her and we all know this is not the end.


I praise G-d that this is not the case.

[Krimangel]

Please Make Sure She Does Not Go Back To Him...

Just Yesterday One Of Fh Dental Class Mate Was Gun Down After She Got Out Of School By Her Husband... He Killed Her And Then Was Killed By The Police...he Was Abusive To Her Too, She Even Had A Protective Order On Him... This Is Very Serious... I Hope She Is Smart Enough To Stay Away.

My Thoughts And Prayers Are With Her.

[tinkerjew]

Please Make Sure She Does Not Go Back To Him...

Just Yesterday One Of Fh Dental Class Mate Was Gun Down After She Got Out Of School By Her Husband... He Killed Her And Then Was Killed By The Police...he Was Abusive To Her Too, She Even Had A Protective Order On Him... This Is Very Serious... I Hope She Is Smart Enough To Stay Away.

My Thoughts And Prayers Are With Her.

Just yesterday?! OMG, how sad...

Basically, Taryn put up with the verbal and emotional abuse, but felt that he crossed the line when he hit her. I disagree. He crossed the line a long time ago.

[Krimangel]

Just yesterday?! OMG, how sad...

Basically, Taryn put up with the verbal and emotional abuse, but felt that he crossed the line when he hit her. I disagree. He crossed the line a long time ago.

Yea, fh told me they had a memorial for her today.

you never know... i dated a guy once he had a temper, the very first time he raised a hand to me my bags were packed and there was no talking about it... i cant understand how people so sweet (the way you talk about her) could allow such ugly sprited people into their lives. at least she sees now... lets just hope she makes a change... how is her foot? did it break it?

[EarlyBird]

wow- tears running down my face. people can snap in an instant cant they?

[tinkerjew]

Her foot is not broken, just badly bruised and swollen.

And yes, EarlyBird, he literally was like that. You could be sitting there, talking and laughing with him and all of a sudden, he'd snap, just like that.

[Krimangel]

Has Any One Talked To Him About Getting Meds... Really Could Be Bi-polar

[frenchie]

Oh that's so horrible. I hope she will get away without further harm, and that he will be found and arrested very soon.

My prayers are with you and your friend in these difficult times.

Is she really pregnant or was that an excuse her soon-to-be-ex-husband made her give you? If so I hope this didn't cause too much trauma to the baby.

[tinkerjew]

She wasn't pregnant, they were just trying for a baby. That was an excuse he made her give me.

A lot of people think he's bipoloar. I think he's just completely frickin' nuts.

[Nekochanpurr]

Wow.. thats awful. Its amazing she didn't break her foot. God was defiantely with her. I reallt hope she stays away from that monster.. :( i don't care if hes got bi-polar or anything, no matter what, that was a line you aren't suppose to cross! So sad she has to go through this.. My prayers are with her.

[baimac]

What an awful situation. To have one's own husband lash out so wickedly. I attended a "Smart Marriage" conference months ago and one of the exhibitors is a man who grew up in an abusive home and dedicated his life to helping abusers get the root of their problem. They really don't like themsleve much. Check out this

For wives of abusive and narcissistic husbands this author may have some helpful advise,

http://www.compassionpower.com/

Steven Stosny, PhD, is the founder of CompassionPower. He has written many books and articles and has been featured in most major print and broadcast media, including several guest appearances on the Oprah Winfrey Show. His interest in the healing power of compassion grew from his childhood in a violent hom

[tinkerjew]

A little update on Taryn:

She went to the doctor's office today. Her face is fractured and will require surgery. Her ribs are also bruised. Apparently, he also kicked her. :bbcry: I really don't like this guy right now...

Some pictures of Taryn:

http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/1981/tarynqw3.jpg

http://img338.imageshack.us/img338/5661/tarynum9.jpg

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c153/secretsandlies2005/GinaandTaryn.jpg

[Krimangel]

Awe, She Is Beautiful!

Sorry for the bad news, i wish her a speedy recovery.

[tinkerjew]

OMG!!!! She just called me and told me that they didn't arrest him when he went into the police department to give his statement, even though they had proof that he did it!!!!!!!!!! He even sent her a text message after he left the house that said, "I'm sorry, I should have never touched you..." PROOF RIGHT THERE!!! I'M SO ANGRY FOR HER!!!!!!!!!!!

[rainbowtreat]

She is a very beautiful girl. I also ams orry to hear about the bad news. Why did they nt arrest him? Is she safe? She isn't going to let him back in is she?

[tinkerjew]

I don't know why they didn't arrest him; they won't tell anyone what he said to the police.

[shawnsgirl]

I can't believe they didn't arrest him. I mean she has fractures from it!! My goodness!! That's insane. I hope she is safe and is far away from him..

Do you think she will take him back??

[70707Bride]

That is terrible! Good for you for still being there for her! I hate people who try to control other's lives.

[WendyNC]

Laws that "protect" people in a domestic situation are... hazy.... not very tough.... that's why it can be so dangerous after the fact. The abuser can get a false sense that they did not do anything "wrong". Maybe try and make sure she is not alone, check in with her, etc. Can she stay with a friend that he cannot locate? I know that sounds paranoid, but I know some stories and they are frightening. Now is not the time to share them, but just try and help her stay the bleep away from that psycho.

[tinkerjew]

I can't believe they didn't arrest him. I mean she has fractures from it!! My goodness!! That's insane. I hope she is safe and is far away from him..

Do you think she will take him back??

I know! I'm so pissed off for her. And no, she will never take him back. She seriously wants to kill him, LOL. I think everyone wants to, but we also know that wouldn't be too smart or helpful.

Basically what I was told was that because the doctor she went to works for her mom, it wasn't a reliable diagnosis or something along those lines.

Her mom went to a detective or someone higher and now what I know is the warrant is going to be re-issued. Let's all pray together that they catch this creep! :irked:

[bichonlvr]

She needs to get a restraining order ASAP!!!! I am not sure it will do much, but at least maybe!!!!

[shawnsgirl]

By her getting a PFA that will at least put him in jail if he comes too close or in the worst case scenerio threaten or try to hurt her again! I will keep her in my toughts!!

[ChibiAiChan]

I'm raging right now. He seriously was not arrested?! Way to protect people law. Always seems like the wrong people are always getting the breaks, huh? She will certainly be in my prayers. Thank God she has a friend like you =)