missjen8252007
08-15-2007, 04:13 PM
Well its a week and a half before the BIG DAY and I am somewhat starting to feel like a bridezilla. I'm glad its happening now and not a few months earlier. I am finally at the point where I'm like "its MY wedding, its about ME and what I want" and what other people think or want doesn't matter. I am at wits end with my MIL. She is very conniving. Its taken me almost 7 years to see "the light" and go figure, I see it 2 weeks before the wedding. I know what I want for my wedding. I know what I do not want for my wedding. I am sick of her acting all nice and concerned while she uses her magic to pursuade me to do what she do. It started with wedding flowers. FH & I, as I said, compromised and we ordered 12 centerpieces for the reception. I originally wanted the remaining 6 tables to have candle centerpieces-I wanted large hurricane holders with a floral wreath around them. My MIL practically insisted on dragging me to Micheal's Crafts, Beverly's Fabrics and The Dollar Tree to "find the best deal" even though she knew money was our least concern. We had to check the prices on the vases and the silk flowers EVERYWHERE you can freakin find them until you find the cheapest one. She doesn't think about the gas being burned driving all over town comparing prices. Then she insists we see how much it will cost if we nix the hurricane centerpieces and make silk flower arraingements instead. Not what I wanted to do but I let her persuade me. I show tell her everything needs to be purple & white, preferably roses. Does she listen? No, she's picking out flowers that *she* thinks look like "wedding flowers". Doesn't care that my colors are white, lilac and sage. I take the blame for letting her work her magic on and convince me to do things I didn't want to do. I've just had enough. When I was just going to go ahead and have the fake flower centerpieces, I decided to buy them at Beverly's. They had more then I needed on display, whereas the other places did not. But no, my MIL says "you really should look around for the best bargain". Ok everywhere we went there was maybe a .25 cent difference. If I bought 6 vases, I would of saved $1.25 and probably burned 2 gallons ($2.96 a gallon) of gas driving to the cheapest place and back. So I would of spent $6 on gas just to save $1.25. Then when it came to the vases for the real flower centerpieces, I couldn't find anything remotely close to the vases Costco had in the pictures (I got the calla lilly centerpieces and I want them to look exactly like the picture). I decided to use floating candle bowls which I can buy anywhere for the same price and then my MIL tried to insist I drive 20 miles to JoAnn Fabrics in Seaside to see what they have! A week and a half before the wedding she thinks I have time to search for these vases? Nevermind the fact that I checked multiple stores here in town and searched online for days after I ordered the flowers and came up empty handed. She doesn't get it. I am not trying to save a buck. A few bucks yes-meaning I am not going to buy $6 vases when I can get the same vase for $2. She doesn't get it that this late in the game, I have absolutely no time to be shopping around for the best deal. When I find what I need, I need to buy it right then and there. There is NO time left. I work during the week. School starts next week. I do not have time to be running all over town. Does she get that? NO. Has she, or anyone else offered to do any of this running around? NO. Have I asked anyone? NO, everyone has made it clear that they have no intention of doing anything except showing up the wedding. The only thing I can count on from my MIL & MOH is no help, un-solicited opinions and stupid suggestions. Now my big issue today is my SIL's MOH dress. My MIL went and picked it up for her on Monday because SIL is too busy to do anything, I'll be lucky if she has time to even show up to the wedding. My MIL implies that she is going to do the alterations on the dress, even though she is not a seamstress and has never done these types of alterations before. (she commented that "I should do your alterations to save you money". HA! My dress is so intricate and complicated that the professional seamstress has to practically rebuild the dress to accomodate my alterations and my MIL thinks she can do the alterations herself? hahahaha). So back to SIL's dress. I tell her the dress needed to be hemmed just below the knee and my MIL immidiately says it looks short enough and *she* doesn't think it needs to be hemmed any shorter. The dress is made for someone who is average height. My SIL is 5'2". My other BMs are 5'2". The dress, which is strapless satin, comes almost to their ankles and it looks terrible! Its supposed to be just below the knee! My MIL says we will wait and see how the dress looks when SIL tries it on with shoes. Like I said, I am naive and she is coniving so I went along with it. In my own defense, its a week and a half before the wedding and I have a long list of things to do in very little time and that is stressing me out and I am alittle preoccupied. So then last night it dawns on me that if everyone's dress isn't the same length, its going to look funny! So I am prepared for war. Tonight I tell my MIL that dress MUST be hemmed just below the knee and when she starts to say that *she* thinks thats too short, I'm going to say "so what? I don't care what YOU think. Thats how I want it and its MY wedding". That should get my point across since she's never seen me asert myself before.
I am just sick of her.....its MY wedding and she's not paying for her and yet I continually have to lister to HER opinion and her suggestions even though they are 110x different than what I want and she knows it. She's such a freakin cheapskate that she doesn't understand what I know what I want and that I refuse to go with whatever is the cheapest, just because it costs less than what I want. I just feel like its about time this wedding was ABOUT ME! I don't want to hear what anyone else thinks, I don't need their opinions. I don't want to know what they would do. My MIL forgets that this is MY wedding. What she thinks, what she wants, what she would do, it doesn't freakin matter. Its NOT about her or anyone else, except ME! And yes I have tried cutting her off & not involving her. She wasn't involved what-so-ever until she went and bought a stupid birdcage for the cards we might get as gifts. I had to go with her to pick out the flowers to decorate it. Then she goes and buys this decorative stand that you can use to hang your wedding favors from and she wants to decorate it and display it with the guest book. I am not using it for my wedding favors but I decided to fill little organza bags with purple & white M&Ms and hang silver bells on it. So we had to go to Party city to buy all that stuff and then we went to the Dollar Tree to find decorations for my other SILs bridal shower (cuz MIL is super cheap like that) and MIL insisted on showing me fake flowers because even though I told her I want the stand decorated exactly like the picture on the box, with an organza bow on the top, she insisted on buying flowers so we can see what it looks like. Because SHE wants the flower on top. If she puts a flower on it, I won't allow her to display it at my reception. She did the same thing with the card box. She wants to decorate it the way she wants, she didn't listen to me. It has to be her way. If she wasn't too cheap to help pay for the wedding, I might let her have her way......its just time I stand up for myself. ITS MY WEDDING DARN IT AND ITS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME! Its bad enough she is going to help with decorating the ceremony chairs & arch & the reception tables and I am going to have get up at the crack of dawn to make sure everything gets done the way I want it done and not how she wants it!I am just so sick of this wedding being about everything and everyone but ME! I've had it. Thank God the wedding is less than 2 weeks away. I'm about to snap. There is so much more my MIL has done. This isn't even half of it. The saddest part is, my MIL's MAIN CONCERN through this entire process has been what SHE is going to wear to MY wedding. She has bought 3 dresses and 5 pairs of shoes. She just this past weekend bought the dress she is for sure going to wear. Not to mention, she is competing with my mother for some reason. They are both almost 60 and they are not spring chickens, although my mother looks good for her age considering her health. My MIL had to buy us the same gift my mother did-but she won't give it to us until the wedding, even though she told me what she bought and when, it only bothers me because thats 2 more boxes we have to transport from the wedding to the house in our car. Her dress has to be the same length & style as my mom-she's made it obvious that she's afraid my mom is going to spend a ton of money on a beautiful dress and her dress will look plain and cheap compared to my mom's dress. My MIL initially, cuz she's a cheapskate, bought a $20 dress. The "final dress" retails for $100 but I know she didn't buy it unless it was on sale cuz she's super cheap like that :D
But the bottom line is.....ISN'T MY WEDDING SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME?
I am just sick of her.....its MY wedding and she's not paying for her and yet I continually have to lister to HER opinion and her suggestions even though they are 110x different than what I want and she knows it. She's such a freakin cheapskate that she doesn't understand what I know what I want and that I refuse to go with whatever is the cheapest, just because it costs less than what I want. I just feel like its about time this wedding was ABOUT ME! I don't want to hear what anyone else thinks, I don't need their opinions. I don't want to know what they would do. My MIL forgets that this is MY wedding. What she thinks, what she wants, what she would do, it doesn't freakin matter. Its NOT about her or anyone else, except ME! And yes I have tried cutting her off & not involving her. She wasn't involved what-so-ever until she went and bought a stupid birdcage for the cards we might get as gifts. I had to go with her to pick out the flowers to decorate it. Then she goes and buys this decorative stand that you can use to hang your wedding favors from and she wants to decorate it and display it with the guest book. I am not using it for my wedding favors but I decided to fill little organza bags with purple & white M&Ms and hang silver bells on it. So we had to go to Party city to buy all that stuff and then we went to the Dollar Tree to find decorations for my other SILs bridal shower (cuz MIL is super cheap like that) and MIL insisted on showing me fake flowers because even though I told her I want the stand decorated exactly like the picture on the box, with an organza bow on the top, she insisted on buying flowers so we can see what it looks like. Because SHE wants the flower on top. If she puts a flower on it, I won't allow her to display it at my reception. She did the same thing with the card box. She wants to decorate it the way she wants, she didn't listen to me. It has to be her way. If she wasn't too cheap to help pay for the wedding, I might let her have her way......its just time I stand up for myself. ITS MY WEDDING DARN IT AND ITS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME! Its bad enough she is going to help with decorating the ceremony chairs & arch & the reception tables and I am going to have get up at the crack of dawn to make sure everything gets done the way I want it done and not how she wants it!I am just so sick of this wedding being about everything and everyone but ME! I've had it. Thank God the wedding is less than 2 weeks away. I'm about to snap. There is so much more my MIL has done. This isn't even half of it. The saddest part is, my MIL's MAIN CONCERN through this entire process has been what SHE is going to wear to MY wedding. She has bought 3 dresses and 5 pairs of shoes. She just this past weekend bought the dress she is for sure going to wear. Not to mention, she is competing with my mother for some reason. They are both almost 60 and they are not spring chickens, although my mother looks good for her age considering her health. My MIL had to buy us the same gift my mother did-but she won't give it to us until the wedding, even though she told me what she bought and when, it only bothers me because thats 2 more boxes we have to transport from the wedding to the house in our car. Her dress has to be the same length & style as my mom-she's made it obvious that she's afraid my mom is going to spend a ton of money on a beautiful dress and her dress will look plain and cheap compared to my mom's dress. My MIL initially, cuz she's a cheapskate, bought a $20 dress. The "final dress" retails for $100 but I know she didn't buy it unless it was on sale cuz she's super cheap like that :D
But the bottom line is.....ISN'T MY WEDDING SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME?