Gift for family participating in wedding?

[lize566]

I have yet another etiquette question!! My cousin is playing the saxophone during the ceremony. He is not renting a tux, but does have to learn the music, etc. and we are not paying him like we are the pianist. Should we get him a gift? I'm leaning towrds yes, although we don't really have the money, I still think we should get him something. Secondly, should he get the same thing as the GM, or something different, or does it matter? I think he would really like what we got the GM (a pocket knife engraved with their initials) but FH doesn't think we should. So I'm stuck. And when I'm stuck I come here :)! So what do you ladies think? Thanks!

[bichonlvr]

Well it depends....is he doing it for you as your gift??? One of my friend's had a similar situations, but it was his gift to them...so then I think a nice thank you note with maybe something little.

BUT if not, I would for sure get him something nice. I don' think it has to be the same thing as the GM. Are you planning on saying something to him at the RD???

[lize566]

He is not doing it as a gift, he is only 18 so I don't really expect him to get me a gift seperate from his parents. And what do you mean saying something at the RD?

[domeafavor]

If you think he would like the pocket knife with his initials you should get it. As long as you can afford to. I think a small little gift would do.

[bichonlvr]

At the rehersal dinner you usaully say things to your BP and parents, etc. Are you going to thank him there???

I think if he is only 18 you could easily get away with a $20.00 gift certificate somewhere to say thanks!

[WebLady]

I think it would be a nice gesture to get him a little something for doing this for you.

[lize566]

At the rehersal dinner you usaully say things to your BP and parents, etc. Are you going to thank him there???

I think if he is only 18 you could easily get away with a $20.00 gift certificate somewhere to say thanks!

Okay, yeah we are going to thank him. It means a lot to me to have him play at our wedding, so I will def. thank him. He just started college, so he might appreciate a g.c more then other things.

[bichonlvr]

That's what I was thinking....maybe to a place he can get anything...like a Target, that way he can get food, video games, music, books, or simple school stuff!!!

Totally cool....can't wait to see pics of him playing! How cool! :)

[Elly_N_Joe]

I think a small gift, weather or not it's like the GM or not would be appropiate.. he is putting time and effort into making your wedding day special.. so i would definatly find him something, it doesn't have to match the GM gift or equal the value either one... its the though!

[Jacklynn]

I agree, I would either get him the pocket knife (if thats something he would like) or a gift card. Being a college student myself gift cards come in handy!!

[hummingbird521]

i bet if he is just starting college he would enjoy a gift card more than anything.

[recentlymarried]

I would get him a gift. My brother wasn't a groomsman but he released a dove during our ceremony and we got him a gift but it was different than the other guys due to age. I got him a bunch of DVDs while the other guys got engraved flasks and beer mugs.