Trillian
08-12-2007, 11:25 AM
We actually met online. About a year ago a real-life friend of his found me on myspace and decided to add me to her list. We started talking and became really good friends. She helped me work through a really horrible breakup only a month before I met Brian. One day on her blog, she was talking about what a great guy her now-husband is. I commented that if she could find me a guy as great as hers, send him to me. I'd pay shipping.
A couple days later this message appears in my inbox, this guy with a South Park avatar. "Shipping is free, but handling is extra." I open the message, and he's funny and nice, and a friend of my friend, so that means he must be good people. We started talking on IM. He's a lot older than me (14 years) but he's really nice.
About a week later, this goth club I frequent and he infrequents was having a huge party, and he asked if I was going. Of course I was, so we decided to meet up. That night was really hard for me, as a lot of the people who stabbed me in the back during the aforementioned really heinous breakup were there, but so were a lot of people who hadn't seen me in a while and actually wanted to, which softened my apprehension. I met Brian and a friend of his that he'd brought with him. I didn't know it at the time, but they were NSA (no strings attached), and that proved problematic later, as she did indeed have some strings.
We talked, we had some fun. I kept walking around, not committing to anything, keeping my options open. I really wasn't looking to get attached to anyone and felt pretty jaded considering. At one point he walks past me while I'm sitting on a side bench watching my sister as she's being involved in the floor show. He sees me, and sits down. We talk for a little bit, and I asked him to dance. He says yes, and for some reason I was just feeling really sexy and pretentious, so I take his hand and hold it over my head and strut my hips to the dancefloor. He told me later he had the biggest grin on his face and he was glad I didn't turn around and make him feel like a dork. I started dancing, and I'm very good at dancing, it's my favorite thing to do. And he did something that really impressed me. He let me do it. He's not a great dancer, and I've danced with guys who aren't great, but insist on being right against you, throwing off my rhythm with their lack of one in an attempt to be possessive, but Brian was different. It was enough for him that I'd brought him out there, he gave me my space and kinda moved back and forth while watching me. Right then I decided I'd see him again.
We talked for a while again before parting ways. A little while later he comes by and says the friend he'd come with was "having issues" apparently something had happened that upset her, but it had nothing to do with me. I found out much later that it was entirely me, she was upset he was dancing with me and meeting me. He told me later that that night, he told her he didn't want to see her anymore because he wasn't ready for a relationship. Fact was, he just liked her as a friend and she'd approached him about an NSA arrangement, but it just hadn't worked out that way in the end, she got attached and got hurt.
Well, the next day or the day after or something, I told him I had a sitter for thursday if he wanted to get together. He wrangled up some tickets to the Strokes and I told him I was really into them and would love to go!
Truth: I can't name a single strokes song, but I don't know, female pride maybe, prevented me from saying "I just want to hang out with you." So I pretended it was all about seeing the band when anyone asked me why I was going on a date with him. My younger sister especially who'd met him with me, wasn't too into him, and was wondering why I'd go on a date with this weird guy.
Well we had a really, really good time. It started out weird, we were both still kind of keeping our options open. I was saying things like "I'm not into public displays of affection." when really I'm thinking "If I meet someone cute, I might want to go out with them, and don't want them to think they're stepping on anyone's toes." Call me callous, I'd been through a lot and wanted to keep my options open.
By the end of the night, I realized what a great, great time I was having. We laughed, we talked, it was a great show. He played air-guitar then got embarrassed. We ended up leaving early and grabbing a slice of pizza before we headed back to his place where we talked until very late, and I made the fourty mile trip back to my house. We made plans to meet again for Suicide Girls burlesque show.
The day after our date I sent a message to our mutual friend and asked her what was wrong with him. I wanted all the bad details, I wanted to know if I could handle being with someone with all his bad, bad habits. She tells me he's a workaholic, and that's pretty much it, but he's a music critic which means we're always on the list, we go everywhere free, so his work is fun and often includes me. That, I can handle.
By the second date to SG, it was like we'd had a year of relationship. We felt like a couple, we felt natural. That night, only the second date, I went against every grain in me and I asked him to be exclusive. That's when he tells me that the night we met, he broke it off with the only other person he was seeing.
About two weeks after that, I realized I felt something for him stronger than I'd ever felt, and I realized I wasn't afraid. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, I knew I was safe with him. One night when he came over and things were getting....ahem....heated....I asked him not to hurt me. He said he'd be gentle and I said "that's not what I meant." And he looked in my eyes and said "Tashina, I love you." "I love you, too." That was the happiest moment I can remember in a very long time.
The night he asked me to marry him wasn't particularly special. We were both kind of taking it for granted. I was being harassed by an ex, who kept sending me expensive presents and Brian never got jealous because he knew it wouldn't change anything. One night while I was getting particularly upset about the unwanted gifts, he asked me why the guy wasn't leaving me alone after I'd already told him I'm with someone and won't come back. I told him that the guy had said he didn't think we could be too serious, and just KNEW that I still loved him. Brian said "I'll show him serious." Right there in my bedroom he got on one knee and asked me to be his wife.
Like I said, I lived forty miles away at this point. I was going to see him on the weekends, and he was coming down and seeing me in the middle of every week. I'd already been planning to move to Columbus, and we decided the best thing was to just find a bigger place where the three of us could live. We moved in together at five months. We moved to Philadelphia two months later.
Last month we set the date of May 24 and decided to have it in Ohio. They say the rest is history, but to me, the rest is life.
A couple days later this message appears in my inbox, this guy with a South Park avatar. "Shipping is free, but handling is extra." I open the message, and he's funny and nice, and a friend of my friend, so that means he must be good people. We started talking on IM. He's a lot older than me (14 years) but he's really nice.
About a week later, this goth club I frequent and he infrequents was having a huge party, and he asked if I was going. Of course I was, so we decided to meet up. That night was really hard for me, as a lot of the people who stabbed me in the back during the aforementioned really heinous breakup were there, but so were a lot of people who hadn't seen me in a while and actually wanted to, which softened my apprehension. I met Brian and a friend of his that he'd brought with him. I didn't know it at the time, but they were NSA (no strings attached), and that proved problematic later, as she did indeed have some strings.
We talked, we had some fun. I kept walking around, not committing to anything, keeping my options open. I really wasn't looking to get attached to anyone and felt pretty jaded considering. At one point he walks past me while I'm sitting on a side bench watching my sister as she's being involved in the floor show. He sees me, and sits down. We talk for a little bit, and I asked him to dance. He says yes, and for some reason I was just feeling really sexy and pretentious, so I take his hand and hold it over my head and strut my hips to the dancefloor. He told me later he had the biggest grin on his face and he was glad I didn't turn around and make him feel like a dork. I started dancing, and I'm very good at dancing, it's my favorite thing to do. And he did something that really impressed me. He let me do it. He's not a great dancer, and I've danced with guys who aren't great, but insist on being right against you, throwing off my rhythm with their lack of one in an attempt to be possessive, but Brian was different. It was enough for him that I'd brought him out there, he gave me my space and kinda moved back and forth while watching me. Right then I decided I'd see him again.
We talked for a while again before parting ways. A little while later he comes by and says the friend he'd come with was "having issues" apparently something had happened that upset her, but it had nothing to do with me. I found out much later that it was entirely me, she was upset he was dancing with me and meeting me. He told me later that that night, he told her he didn't want to see her anymore because he wasn't ready for a relationship. Fact was, he just liked her as a friend and she'd approached him about an NSA arrangement, but it just hadn't worked out that way in the end, she got attached and got hurt.
Well, the next day or the day after or something, I told him I had a sitter for thursday if he wanted to get together. He wrangled up some tickets to the Strokes and I told him I was really into them and would love to go!
Truth: I can't name a single strokes song, but I don't know, female pride maybe, prevented me from saying "I just want to hang out with you." So I pretended it was all about seeing the band when anyone asked me why I was going on a date with him. My younger sister especially who'd met him with me, wasn't too into him, and was wondering why I'd go on a date with this weird guy.
Well we had a really, really good time. It started out weird, we were both still kind of keeping our options open. I was saying things like "I'm not into public displays of affection." when really I'm thinking "If I meet someone cute, I might want to go out with them, and don't want them to think they're stepping on anyone's toes." Call me callous, I'd been through a lot and wanted to keep my options open.
By the end of the night, I realized what a great, great time I was having. We laughed, we talked, it was a great show. He played air-guitar then got embarrassed. We ended up leaving early and grabbing a slice of pizza before we headed back to his place where we talked until very late, and I made the fourty mile trip back to my house. We made plans to meet again for Suicide Girls burlesque show.
The day after our date I sent a message to our mutual friend and asked her what was wrong with him. I wanted all the bad details, I wanted to know if I could handle being with someone with all his bad, bad habits. She tells me he's a workaholic, and that's pretty much it, but he's a music critic which means we're always on the list, we go everywhere free, so his work is fun and often includes me. That, I can handle.
By the second date to SG, it was like we'd had a year of relationship. We felt like a couple, we felt natural. That night, only the second date, I went against every grain in me and I asked him to be exclusive. That's when he tells me that the night we met, he broke it off with the only other person he was seeing.
About two weeks after that, I realized I felt something for him stronger than I'd ever felt, and I realized I wasn't afraid. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, I knew I was safe with him. One night when he came over and things were getting....ahem....heated....I asked him not to hurt me. He said he'd be gentle and I said "that's not what I meant." And he looked in my eyes and said "Tashina, I love you." "I love you, too." That was the happiest moment I can remember in a very long time.
The night he asked me to marry him wasn't particularly special. We were both kind of taking it for granted. I was being harassed by an ex, who kept sending me expensive presents and Brian never got jealous because he knew it wouldn't change anything. One night while I was getting particularly upset about the unwanted gifts, he asked me why the guy wasn't leaving me alone after I'd already told him I'm with someone and won't come back. I told him that the guy had said he didn't think we could be too serious, and just KNEW that I still loved him. Brian said "I'll show him serious." Right there in my bedroom he got on one knee and asked me to be his wife.
Like I said, I lived forty miles away at this point. I was going to see him on the weekends, and he was coming down and seeing me in the middle of every week. I'd already been planning to move to Columbus, and we decided the best thing was to just find a bigger place where the three of us could live. We moved in together at five months. We moved to Philadelphia two months later.
Last month we set the date of May 24 and decided to have it in Ohio. They say the rest is history, but to me, the rest is life.