Ready to fire my MOH!

[missjen8252007]

Well it looks like I am not having a bachelorette party :bbcry:

First of all, FH's sister is my MOH and she hasn't done anything to help with the wedding. Not that I asked or expected her to, I just thought that the MOH was expected to perform certain duties. She hasn't volunteered to help w/ anything--FMIL insisted on throwing my bridal shower and MOH had plans and couldn't attend but could of helped her mother with the planning but made no effort! Her dress for the wedding? I agreed since she is MOH and the most picky out of the 3 that she could pick the dress. To make a long story short, she couldn't make time to go with me to look at dresses and when we finally got together, she let me pick the dress, we had to pick a dress at the 1st place we went to because time was running out and she couldn't make time to go somewhere else. She wouldn't order a dress she hadn't tried on so we because of the timeframe, we had to order a style neither one of was happy with and we were told it would arrive 4 days before the wedding! If I had known she wasn't going to give me any input on the dress, I would of gone to a few places and ordered the dress we originally picked out online.
So my bachelorette party? Yeah probably not gonna happen. MOH returns from a 5 week trip on 8/12. Right before she left, she told me she probably wouldn't-but there was a chance she might- have time to throw me a bachelorette party before the wedding and if not, maybe later on after the wedding, we'd do something at a day spa. (I wasn't counting on it because after my wedding, we will all be busy with FBIL's wedding and she has several more trips already planned that I know about). So then tonight, FH & I are at MIL's house and we ask if her & FIL can take us to the aiport when we leave on our honeymoon on 9/1. She gets out her little calendar to make sure she has no plans that day-not that she actually has a life, mind you. So after she makes sure she has no plans on 9/1 she flips over to August and I see that in her calendar, she has written down that FSIL, my MOH, is going to the lake the weekend BEFORE THE WEDDING. This trip was also planned in the last few weeks I'm pretty sure. So now I'm kinda pissed off here. MOH can go to the lake but she can't organize something, anything, for my bachelorette party? And this is off topic, but my FMIL freakin' writes down all FSIL's plans in her calendar and she is a grown woman living on her own! I swear she's obsessive when it comes to FSIL. When it comes to FH & his brother, she could care less! I am not kidding, FSIL has several trips to the lake & Oregon coming up in the next 2 months or so and MIL has them all on the calendar! Our honeymoon? Wasn't on the calendar until we asked for a ride to the airport. We've told her the dates several times and she never remembers. But yeah I am feeling pretty upset right now. I didn't want a typical bachelorette party, just a girls night out for dinner or something like that, or going to a day spa. It just sucks because my 2 cousins are my BMs and if we had all known about MOHs stupid trip to the lake sooner, we could of put something else together but its 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding and they live 70 miles away! At the very least, my MOH could of let me know that she for sure couldn't organize something before the wedding! And I know she just recently planned this lake trip or her fiancee did! All I can say is, when her wedding roles around next August, I will not be offering to help with anything!

[bichonlvr]

So sorry...that stinks!!!

Could you let some of your friends know and maybe you could all put your head together to plan something?!?!?

I pretty much planned my party:)

[StaceyMc]

That sucks, but why don't you just call your friends and bridal party and go out to dinner and a club or something to celebrate? My MOH and "ushette" didn't to a elaborate bachelorette party - I wouldn't have wanted it anyways. We went to dinner and to a country dance club and had a blast. No muss, no fuss....and no cover charges, since I was "tying the knot" and wore a veil...lol.

[shawnsgirl]

I know how you feel. I tried to help the girls plan my bachlorette party. Then my moh bailed on it last minute thanks to her husband. Everyone one is soooo busy that they just don't have time. They all are very busy so I understand. I'm disappointed to say the least but at the same time I understand too. For at least two of the bridesmaids I was in there weddings and made sure they both had great showers and bachlorette parties! Two of them aren't married yet and the other two got married before I knew them. So, needless to say I'm not having one either. I don't know this for sure, but I've pretty much assumed. Who knows maybe they'll surprise me. Either way as much as I would have enjoyed the girls time (cause I get zero) it's not what is important to me right now. FH is also not having a bachelor party either. We may go out for a while the night after the rehearsal dinner with our BP so they may subsitute for having a bach. parties. Something you may want to consider doing just as long as you don't stay out to late!!

[missjen8252007]

There really isn't time to plan anything now. :bbcry:
Its ok, even I was expecting some sort of get together, at this point I'd rather have nothing at all and just get the wedding over with.

I just can't help but feel upset with my FSIL and FBIL. FBIL is the bestman (I may have mentioned in another thread that he is the bestman because FMIL threw a temper tantrum when she found out he wasn't FH's 1st choice) and guess what? He isn't throwing FH, his own brother, a bachelor party. He asked FH if he wanted one and if so, what exactly did he want and FH told him to plan whatever he wanted (which was his way of telling his cheapskate brother to organize whatever he could afford). What really annoys the heck out of me is, FBIL is getting married for the 2nd time in October and FH is his bestman and FBIL fully expects FH to throw him a bachelor party. We can both live without having our own bachelor party but now we're expected to plan and attend FBIL and his FW's parties. If I was FH I wouldn't give FBIL a bachelor party but FH is a better person than I am in that sense. He may have grudges against his brother for more serious things, but he is always the better person and I guess has learned not to expect anything from his siblings. I just feel like we have done so much for FH's brother & sister, if they need ever need help, who do you think they call? It just seems that since they didn't even offer to help with anything related (FBIL's fiancee is the only one helping), that the least they could do was make an effort to organize the bachelor/bachelorette parties.
Thanks for all the advice, I got all this off my chest and I feel better. I'm not going to dwell on it anymore and I'll try not to hold a grudge for to long. Atleast I know where FH & I stand now. I'm just glad that FH's groomsmen are better friends to him than his own brother! When FBIL neglected to organize a bachelor party, they stepped in and organized a guys-only golf day at the country club with drinks afterwards.