should i

[Doglover]

Since we were talking about friends.....and that i don't have any,hahhahaha. I have been talking to this girl on myspace who lived in the same neighborhood as me when we were in school and my mom had a daycare and watched her and her sister. We were friends all through elementary school middle and high school. But not BEST friends...but always friends. Well we have been talking and she wants to hang out tonight. Evan will be at school tonight so i will be bored anyways..... So should i invite her over?

I just HATE feeling awkward....

[WebLady]

I think I would rather meet at a more neutral place first. Then as you get to know each other again you could go to each other's house. But that is just me.

[Doglover]

the only place would be to eat somewhere and i have a thing about eating in front of people...hahahahah. And i am broke! Well shoot she is coming! I think it will be okay... i hope. We are going to have some beers and show her my wedding pics.....something that is so awkward that i HATE is when you know someone wants or needs to leave but they feel bad saying "i gotta go" so they just sit there and I just sit there.....this always happenes when a friend of Evans comes over from work.....

[NicksBride]

well I think that is OK. I had a friend who I have not talked to in awhile come over after I was married, it was ackward and we do not hang out regularly or whatever, but you never know. I have no friends either and its worth a shot! Good luck and have fun!

[ladymelissa]

I think it sounds nice to try to reunite. Keep a positive attitude about it! If you feel that she starts to overstay her welcome, you can try subtle cues such as:

Begin picking up the drink glasses and tidying up a bit and possibly add, "It was really nice seeing you again!" Possibly adding, "Keep in touch" or "We'll have to do it again sometime" (if you enjoyed the visit overall).

If she is completely missing the subtle cues, then come right out and say something to the effect of, "I have an early morning tomorrow, but I am glad we had this opportunity."

For the most part, I think most people can sense when it is time to get going. So I wouldn't worry too much! I hope you have a great time!

[EarlyBird]

you have so much to catch up on its not going to be awkward. you can just show her wedding pics and most EVERY girl is interested in wedding stuff even if not involved in any wedding at all at the moment.

[Doglover]

For the most part, I think most people can sense when it is time to get going. So I wouldn't worry too much! I hope you have a great time!

I agree, i think most people can sense when they should leave but (and maybe this is a guy thing) but when Evans work buddies come over i can tell he wants to leave....and we want him to leave but he is afraid to say "okay well i better get going!"

Its so embarassing, i havent seen her in 3 years. But we havent talked on myspace alot for like a year or more. But last time i saw her i was skinny...she doesn't know how fat i have gotten. She isn't a skinny person either so i know she isn't going to judge or anything but gosh i hate this! Thats why i hate reuniting...bc im a fat arse! and nobody knows it!

[EarlyBird]

wow i totally relate- i was sooo skinny when i was young and even in highschool. since i have the desk job and my lifestyle changed (home cooking every night etc etc) i got FAT like real fat - and i know people who i see from highschool notice- although no one says anything. but thats what i tell FH "i dont want to see this person or that person, im so much bigger now"

it might sound vain and silly and childish but this is what we think of, and its valid fears and embarressments, at least in our own head.

and for the record, You def. not fat but i see that you probably mean your BIGGER then what you WERE- (which i could never know since i didnt know how you were, jus taking your word for it)

[Doglover]

Earlybird: I got fat from birth control and no exercise and BEER! I took weighloss pills last year and lost like 30 lbs and i was skinny then after the diet pills i started gaining so much....since nov.(when i stopped the pills) i have gained like 35 lbs. From those dang diet pills!!! They messed up my metabolism so bad!!

[ladymelissa]

"Larger" or not you are still a gorgeous lady!

[Doglover]

hahaaha well thank you!

[NicksBride]

I second that!!!!
But I know how ackward it can be, just have fun!!! some people i have not seen since I met Nick and then SURPRISE I am married. But its fun, everyone changes and that is what is fun with reuniting. I am sure you both will have a great time!

[domeafavor]

I agree with everyone else. It should be a lot of fun--you'll have a lot to talk about. Plus you've been communicating with her in some form. I understand that you feel self conscious everyone feels that way sometimes. I bet you'll be so happy once it's over you'll think "I'm glad I invited her over."

Have fun tonight. :D

[nic1124]

You are so beautiful! Besides friendship is about who you are, not how you look! Focus on the positive things about yourself, be happy :D

[Doglover]

well we had fun!!! She stayed from 530-945ish. We just talked, she asked alot of questions about being married and my relationship. She had been with this guy for like 6 years...broken up 2 times and they are broken up right now..but he calls her all the time and they said "i love you" so im like UHHHH you all are still together! But it wasn't awkward at all!

[NicksBride]

I am glad that you had a good time. The thing with friends I have found they either envy you or pity you for being married. Or they are insanly jealous and want nothing to do with you. It sounds like she was envious of what you and Evan have. I think it was nice that you talked with her. It sounds like you had a nice time. Did you show her wedding pictures?

[Doglover]

Yeah i did, we didn't get all the way through them though. But she has seen alot of them on myspace. But yeah i think she thinks its cool i am married,because she has been "is in" a LONG relationship so i bet she wants to get married too!

[NicksBride]

Yea, tell her it is not all its cracked up to be. ;) Just kidding

[Doglover]

hahahahahahaha!

[Goin2thechapel]

Yea, tell her it is not all its cracked up to be. ;) Just kidding
hahaha...That's not allowed on ONEWED!!! LOL...Scare away all our brides...even though I agree totally ;)

[NicksBride]

hehe sorry. I was just joking, being married is by far the best thing. But I always joke with my friends who are single and are like RUNNNNNN! Save yourselves. hahahaha It always gets a good laugh. :)

[Goin2thechapel]

Seriously though. Alot of Brides get soooo wrapped up in planning a wedding that they forget that the whole wedding thing is about giving yourself solely to one person for the rest of your life! It's a HUGE commitment. And being married is wonderful, but it takes ALOT of work. And there are definitely rough patches to go through. It's fun but a marriage is also like a full time job sometimes :)

[Doglover]

yeah just like a serious relationship.

(HEY i just got an email saying i got $5.90 in my paypal account for posting here......?COOL!)

[shawnsgirl]

Seriously though. Alot of Brides get soooo wrapped up in planning a wedding that they forget that the whole wedding thing is about giving yourself solely to one person for the rest of your life! It's a HUGE commitment. And being married is wonderful, but it takes ALOT of work. And there are definitely rough patches to go through. It's fun but a marriage is also like a full time job sometimes :)

ITA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A co worker of mine said won't you feel better when the wedding planning is over with?? I'm like umm what are you talking about?? She said, all the craziness of it all. I'm like no, planning the wedding is the easiest part. It's planning the marriage that is the hardest and then after the wedding your world is turned upside down and forever changed. This is nothing compared to the long road ahead Shawn and I both have together. She was like are you sure you want to get married?? I'm like ofcourse I'm sure, I'm just not fooling myself here. I know that we both have a lot of things we both need to work on after the wedding day, and we both have a lot of things we need to accomplish and it isn't going to be easy. She said oh ok..I think I put her off a little but hey it happens. Shawn and I are so in love with eachother and he is my all time bud. I can't stand not being around him. At the same time I have a good head on my shoulders and know that you have to work at feeling this way to keep feeling that way.

So, I think a lot of people get wrapped up in the wedding planning and go way over board. I think if people would put the same efforts into their marriage as they do planning a wedding we would cut the divorce rate significantly!!

[shawnsgirl]

yeah just like a serious relationship.

(HEY i just got an email saying i got $5.90 in my paypal account for posting here......?COOL!)

I forgot to say I'm glad that you had a nice time with her. It sounds like it went really well. It also looks too like maybe she really needs a friend right now?? Just my thoughts on it, but by the type of questions she asked you it just makes me think maybe she needs that.

[Doglover]

yeah she told me ever since they broke up she has realized how time consuming he was...and how she never really hung out with friends...and i was like ME 2! I need a friend! hahaha, but i think we will get together again soon!

[NicksBride]

Amanda that is very well said!!! I couldn't agree more. That is why so many marriages end in divorce VERY quickly after marriage is becuase they get so wrapped up in planning they forget that this person is someone who will be around for the rest of their lives!!!! Its a scary concept and something people forget. I have to plead guilty on that one, I got wrapped up in the wedding planning and Nick and I had a rough time after being married, but I gotta say all of that was worth it and we couldn't be more happy to be married together!!! So there is my two cents!!!!! :)

Jen glad you guys got along and its nice to have friends to hang out with and get a break. :)

[Doglover]

So far me and Evan haven't had any problems since the wedding. Things have been BETTER actually. We fought more when we weren't married i think. We were very well prepared to be married though,because we had lived together for over 2 years and we had already been through alot together.

[NicksBride]

aww nice. Everyone is differnet that is what I told my friends who were annoying me about getting married so young. BITE ME. hehehe

[Doglover]

Nobody said anything like that to me.....and i am younger then you! Only Evans guys said how stupid we are for getting married. Thats just because his friends CANNOT keep a gf even if they tried! MAN WHORES!

[NicksBride]

well I went to college and so many of the girls are still in that mode. Getting drunk every weekend, going home and sleeping with any man they found. I used to be like that until I met Nick and then I did a 180 and I hardley ever drink and when I do it is at weddings (haha) and even then I hardly do. So they are all just stuck in college mode while i moved on and they always say "we miss party Katy'' I must say I have lost a lot of friends because of getting married. Sad....

[shawnsgirl]

So far me and Evan haven't had any problems since the wedding. Things have been BETTER actually. We fought more when we weren't married i think. We were very well prepared to be married though,because we had lived together for over 2 years and we had already been through alot together.]


ITA! Shawn and I have lived together for a year now, we have a monthly budget, we know who pays what bills, we have house duties we both do and because we have been doing this for the past year it alleviates most of our arguements. Most of them are about house work and me not having enough time to do it!! LOL Oh well, you'll have that though. But, I think for the most part we are already married. We're raising two boys, have lived together for two years, etc. etc. only thing that is going to change is that we'll officially be happy!

[shawnsgirl]

well I went to college and so many of the girls are still in that mode. Getting drunk every weekend, going home and sleeping with any man they found. I used to be like that until I met Nick and then I did a 180 and I hardley ever drink and when I do it is at weddings (haha) and even then I hardly do. So they are all just stuck in college mode while i moved on and they always say "we miss party Katy'' I must say I have lost a lot of friends because of getting married. Sad....

I was the same way in college..I partied almost every night of the week sometimes! Now, I rarely ever drink. I can't remember the last time we were out in a bar!! LOL! Usually, when we drink we are tailgaiting at the races (if we don't have to drive), at weddings or when we have a get together with our freinds but it doesn't even come close to college. I have a couple of friends that are still in college mode. I can't say that I lost them because of marriage. I think I lost some of them back when I had my first son. Which, if I was only good enough to party with then obviously they weren't my true friends. Same thing for you!! Anyhow, Most of our friends are already married and Shawn is one of the last of his buddies. I don't get hadly any are you guys crazy but ofcourse I'm 27 and he's 30 so that makes a big difference!!

[Doglover]

We still party, but we just do it at our house. I don't like to go to big parties, i'd rather just drink at home!

[Doglover]

all we ever fight about is who should take the dogs out or who should do the dishes!hahaaa

[shawnsgirl]

all we ever fight about is who should take the dogs out or who should do the dishes!hahaaa

That's a good thing..That's what shawn and I argue about the most is house hold things..Lately I've been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, bringing the boys with me while he's at home. He takes the time to relax when he should be doing housework or helping out..He doesn't see it that way so that's when we bump heads! He also doesn't like to clean without me being in the same room. I get so frustrated with him I tell him go in a different room and clean or I'll do it myself!! LOL Men, I'll tell ya!

[Doglover]

Evan is the cleaner in our house. HE IS ALWAYS CLEANING!!!! So i am lucky bc i hate doing it. But since he started school and is working too i have just been keeping the house picked up for him. We usually let our dishes pile SO HIGH b4 we do them. But now i just keep up with them and make sure i don't have any dishes in the sink. AND i have been making the bed!!!! ANd WE NEVER do that! But i just go some prrrrrrrrty pillows to match our room so i like to put them on.

[NicksBride]

Yea Nick and I fight out dogs, dishes, and laundry. hahaha. Money sometimes too, but VERY rarely as he spoils me. haha
But the dogs is our biggest fight topic as I always take care of them, drop them off at daycare etc. Its ounds like we have kids. hahaha. But I spend money on gas running them around, taking care of their needs and he gets to relax at home etc. Oh well, I can live with it. :)

[Doglover]

haha dogs can be so annoying...but i can't live without them.

[HisMuse]

If it were me I'd just meet for coffee, that's easy and cheap.

[Doglover]

haha well its to late she came over last night!haha

[HisMuse]

Ooops, I should have read more but I'm at work so it's tough.