Conflict/Disagreements in relationships

[WebLady]

There are bound to be conflict and disagreements in relationships from time to time. How do you and your SO handle this sort of thing?

Do you have big blow up fights, calming talk things out or what?

[neebelung]

I'm the hot headed one in the family, and most likely to get upset and blow up about stuff (not often, and not TOO badly, but still, it happens)... for me, so long as I can vent about what I'm upset about, and get it off my chest, I'm over it 5 minutes later, and ready to just discuss it and solve the problem.

On the other hand, FH is VERY calm and mellow in nature, and it takes a LOT to ruffle him (which sometimes frustrates me - there are times I feel like "well if I'm upset about it, he should be, too!")....

Most of the time, we can just talk about it, and be done with it, but on the off chance it's something I'm fired up about, and he's not, it's best for us to just take 5, cool off, and then regroup and talk about it.

[Danielle9608]

We don't have many fights, but the ones that we do sometimes get very heated. We usually walk away to cool down first and then talk things out. We tend not to talk about it right away, because in the heat of the moment sometimes things are said that we don't really mean.

[WebLady]

DH and I rarely argue, but when we do it is usually a calm discussion where we talk about it and work it out.

There have been times when I was bothered by something and he didn't understand why and that bothered me more :p

But I would say for the most part get along well and agree on just about everything; the important things at least. Usually when we have little spats, it is about some family and/or friend issue.

[Nekochanpurr]

Usually when it gets really bad we yell and then walk away.. Then one of us cuddles up to the other one and we talk about it. lol, our fights are dumb. XD

[Goin2thechapel]

Being a counselor, it's usually my first instinct to talk it over...LOL...When it's other people.

When Jon and I fight we fight! He always trys to get the last word even if it's a heavy sigh..Ughh. It bothers me sooo much! Our arguments are almost always over housework. But other than that we usually just walk away and laugh about it later on.

[lize566]

We have a little "arguements" daily. That sounds so bad lol, but we have always like IDK picked at each other I guess. He is my best friend, and when people that don't know us are around us probably wonder how we make it work, but anybody that knows us knows when we are really upset or when we are just picking. Usually our serious conflicts last a few minutes and then we drop it, most of the time they are like raised voice/yelling fights, unless it is a serious issue like money, then we talk it out in more of a discussion tone than fighting. Does that make sense? We have a weird relationship I guess lol!

[tinkerjew]

Larry and I have very similar (if not the same) communication styles. However, our fighting styles are on opposite ends of the pole. He likes to blow off steam by walking away and cooling off. I want confrontation immediately. However different our fighting styles are, we have agreed on one thing: we will never go to bed angry. We always try to talk and work things out. We don't argue much, but I'm glad we do sometimes. I'd be a little worried if we never did.

[TangoWedding]

One thing I love about Mr.Tango is that he is so easygoing. I've never heard him raise his voice about anything (sports excluded!). He also likes to talk things out, which is awesome.

We've never been in a 'fight', per se, but the times we've had to talk about a disagreement or misunderstanding, we make a point to lie in bed together or cuddle on the couch and discuss it. It's very refreshing. Neither of us have ever raised our voices to each other.

[shawnsgirl]

FH and I don 't really ever yell, mostly because the kids are around. We would never raise our voices to eachother when the kids can over hear. Most of the time we get mad about something brew over it and then talk about it later on when we both have a moment to cool off about it.

[mariaandmanish]

Depends on what the disagreement is about. We both tend to walk away if we're really angry and come back and discuss when we're calm. That way we won't say something that we don't mean, or that we'll regret.

[Doglover]

This doesn't happen THAT often but we yell, and i walk away, and he comes and finds me to talk about it. But i don't want to talk to him. Then i talk to him and its fine,lol.

[E. Jennings]

Men and women are completely different in fighting tactics. If there is a loud confrontation the guy walks away because if another guy yelled at him then he'd deck him. Then after the physical fight they'd be best friends again.But because your his girlfriend/wife he knows better and won't. Where as women want to shout there lungs out, and keep it up until we are through. Guys brood about problems, that's how they work things out. Where as women talk about it.

This is not true for all guys, some guys do like to talk it over.

In the end, they will relax. They just need some time and space.

[PNS777]

We SOMETIMES blow thing out porportion and it turns into a screaming fest, and after awhile we start talking and we get over it. Most of the time we'll talk about it

[katieandalex]

We usually have big blow up fights. It usually involves screaming at each other, but then like 20 minutes later we are fine. I'm just the time of person that I bottle stuff up for a long time, and then when something finally takes the cake....I just have to freak out and let it all out and then I'm fine with everything.

[TangoWedding]

Where as women want to shout there lungs out, and keep it up until we are through


This is not true for all guys, some guys do like to talk it over.


That first bit needs a qualifier too. Not all women like to shout it out - some of us can be rational. I've never shouted at anyone my entire life.

:grinhappy:

[rainbowtreat]

It depends. I am one to yell and make it worse then it is. I grew up listening to others fight and I try not to be that way but it just comes out. He on the other hand hates to fight with me and will try not to blow up. I don't think he has ever realy yells at me like I ahv ehim. I get my screamign out and then cry and walk away. I want him to come find me buthe does't, he lets me cool off then we can talk. We don't do this too often. We did alot while I was pregnatn but that was becasue of my hormones lol.

Our problem is we are both so stong headed that we clash alot.

I believe that a good marriage has to have some disagreements regardless how you tend to them to make it a healthy one.

I was one in the past to keep things bottled up. I exploded one day and it didn't end untill my ex and I were divorded. So now I don't want things bottled up, I speak my mind about every thing that bothers me. I want Nicholas to do the same but he does't want to upset me so he keeps alot to himself. I have asked him not to as saw first hand what it can do to some one or a couple. He is his own person though and if that is how he wants to deal with things then I guess I ahve to let him be.

[frenchie]

We never really have all-out fights with shouting -the ugliest it ever gets is me crying and/or one or both of us sulking for awhile.
But we do disagree and generally we try to calmly talk things over - it's in both of our personalities, especially his, to stay pretty calm.
Hoping it'll stay that way :)
I think we've only raised our voices once or twice, and felt so bad for doing so that things got sorted out really fast, perhaps faster than they would have otherwise.