In-law Issues

[lize566]

So I just finished my invites, and FH had to call his dad to get some addresses. Well, his dad wants to know if his wife (FH's stepmom, whom he has not close too) was on the invitation, b/c she wasn't on his brothers and it kind of upset her (as it should, I think). However, I originally had her on there and then FMIL and FH's grandma saw and FREAKED OUT about it. They were all like she is not his mother blah blah blah. I posted about what I should do a while ago, but ultimately decided against my gut feeling as far as etiquette goes, etc. to not include her. FMIL still seemed mad about it when we talked and I decided to not piss her off since I am closer to her, even though FFIL and his wife are more accepting, etc. FH just wants nothing to do with them, if that makes sense. When we are around them, FH's stepmom is sooo nice and everything I really felt like she should be on there. And apparently she thought so, since she was upset about it. There is nothing we can do now. I'm so mad though b/c FMIL couldn't be an ADULT and get over a 20 yr. old divorce!! I told FH that if I so much as heard the vaguest complaint about it I was sending FMIL to explain that she is reason. It just kills me that they can't get over things and be grown ups about the past. FH has so many issues b/c she can't get past stuff, and it makes me so mad.

Okay, I guess I feel better now! I just really needed to get the issue of my chest! Thanks for reading.

[WebLady]

I guess it is done now, but I would have invited FFIL's wife or neither of them. If you are inviting someone (anyone really) to a wedding, it is sort of rude not to invite their spouse.

Like you said, it is childish for FMIL to still be bitter about her ex-husband's wife. I doubt she (FFIL's wife) would have tried to take on any "mother" roles and just wanted to share the day with you all as her husband did.

It is so sad when disgruntled and estranged family members can't be civil to each other :( I am sorry you got in the middle of all that. What did your FH say about all this?

[lize566]

FH doesn't take sides. He has never really had a good relationship with neither his dad or stepmom, so i think he saw my point but didnt want to upset his mom so he didn't say either way. I mean she is coming to the wedding either way. FMIL doesn't really expect her to not come, she came to his brothers, I guess it's just the principle of it. IDK it's annoying.