When to send thank you's??

[shawnsgirl]

We received a gift that was sent to us from our registry. I'm not sure if this is a wedding gift or shower gift (because the person won't make either but is invited to both)...When can I send a thank you. Do I have to wait until after the wedding or can I send it now?? We also received a monetary gift yesterday and a card from someone unable to attend the wedding.. Can I send them a thank you now??


The reason I'm asking is my (nosey) neighbor called to tell me I had a package. I walked out on the porch while on the phone and I said ohhh it's addressed to me..but I didn't order anything. She said well, it must be a wedding present. She said make sure you right it down now so you don't forget when you send out your thank you's after the wedding..

So, now I'm confused..please help!

[tootsie]

I'm in the same boat! I got a wedding gift in the mail yesterday from a guest that is not attending and I think I am going to write him a thank you note after the wedding. I want to write all the thank you notes together and send them all together.

I think it's up to you when to send those guests the thank you note. They did send your gift pretty early!

[bichonlvr]

So glad you asked this...I got one a few weeks ago...I guess there was a good sale since my wedding is still 5 months out!!!!I sent her an e-mail saying I had received it and thank you! But I was thinking I should send them all out after the wedding!

[WebLady]

I think the general 'rule' is 3-4 weeks after the wedding. Some people say up to a year, but I think sooner is better.

All in all though a late thank you note is better than none at all ;)

[TangoWedding]

I would think it's ok to send them as soon as you'd like. If you can get some of them out of the way while you still have your mind, I'd say go for it! :grinhappy:

I'm personally going to try to keep up with them as much as I can. Because making 100 thank you cards at once? That would drive me INSANE.

I know if I sent an early gift, I'd rather hear a 'thank you' sooner than later. IMO.


Do people really wait a year? :bbeek: I'd be MADDDDDDD if I were the gift-sender. Hehe!

[ladymelissa]

Go ahead and send it now. They would probably appreciate knowing that you received it.

[shawnsgirl]

Thanks ladies...When my neighbor told me to wait until after the wedding I was like I don't want to. I'm one of those people that if I receive something the next day the thank you is in the mail!

[NicksBride]

I sent THank You's as the presents came so I wouldn't forget anyone. So I got some presents before the wedding and AFTEr the wedding, so I just sent them as the presents came. The bulk of them were from the shower and the wedding obvious but some were trickling in and out as they came in!!!

[shawnsgirl]

That was the other thing...I didn't know if this was a wedding or a shower gift for sure...I know my girls are planning a shower up here-it's a surprise...and I'm a little suspicious over going down to Jersey this weekend..On Saturday....my neice is to be baptized...Well we're going for a brunch before the baptism and then we're going to the baptism and then we're going to the party after the baptism..Also, FH told me today we need to clean out my trunk of my car to put our suitcase??? We weren't planning on staying the night and when we bring down FSIL dress we'll have plenty of room in the back seat. So, I may be wrong but they're just might be something else in the works here! The other thing too was the baptism is on a Saturday..It's supposed to be private..But, it's rare that a priest will do a baptism outside of a church service unless there is some sort of urgency...who knows...I'm not counting on it, in case that is the actual plan a brunch, baptism, and then a party ..I'm just a tad on the suspicious side that's all!

[bichonlvr]

I want to send picture thank you notes! Is that okay do you think??? So that means I would wait until after the wedding! Should I order the matching ones with the invitations?

[bichonlvr]

That was the other thing...I didn't know if this was a wedding or a shower gift for sure...I know my girls are planning a shower up here-it's a surprise...and I'm a little suspicious over going down to Jersey this weekend..On Saturday....my neice is to be baptized...Well we're going for a brunch before the baptism and then we're going to the baptism and then we're going to the party after the baptism..Also, FH told me today we need to clean out my trunk of my car to put our suitcase??? We weren't planning on staying the night and when we bring down FSIL dress we'll have plenty of room in the back seat. So, I may be wrong but they're just might be something else in the works here! The other thing too was the baptism is on a Saturday..It's supposed to be private..But, it's rare that a priest will do a baptism outside of a church service unless there is some sort of urgency...who knows...I'm not counting on it, in case that is the actual plan a brunch, baptism, and then a party ..I'm just a tad on the suspicious side that's all!
OHHH I hope it is FUN stuf for you!!! You are getting SOOOOO close :)

[shawnsgirl]

who knows??? I'm a hard one to surprise because I get so suspicious so easily...I know they are do the baptism just because of the conversations going on that I overhear between FSIL and FH..I guess what throws me off is the brunch then the baptism then a party?? Seems like a little much but then again that's the way they may do things down there. Up here we have a baptism on sunday and maybe a small reception following in the basement of the church..It's usually not a big deal around this way. Anyhow, either way even if it is all for the baptism its going to be fun just to see everyone again! I can't wait!!

[NicksBride]

It is perfectly OK to wait until after the wedding to send all the thank yous then. Even if you get gifts before the wedding. Just make sure to write down what everyone gives you!!!!

[bichonlvr]

who knows??? I'm a hard one to surprise because I get so suspicious so easily...I know they are do the baptism just because of the conversations going on that I overhear between FSIL and FH..I guess what throws me off is the brunch then the baptism then a party?? Seems like a little much but then again that's the way they may do things down there. Up here we have a baptism on sunday and maybe a small reception following in the basement of the church..It's usually not a big deal around this way. Anyhow, either way even if it is all for the baptism its going to be fun just to see everyone again! I can't wait!!

I am like that too..and what stinks is a get let down a lot of the time :( Hopefully it will be for YOU!!!!

[bichonlvr]

It is perfectly OK to wait until after the wedding to send all the thank yous then. Even if you get gifts before the wedding. Just make sure to write down what everyone gives you!!!!

Oh yeah...write it down! good call! We are not using ANYTHING until after the wedding! I guess old fashion like that! Although he moved in last week! Which is a amazing I must say!

[TangoWedding]

One thing that might help that I saw on the net somewhere along the way...


Make a spreadsheet (or just jot down in a notebook if you'd rather) your entire guestlist.

Have it set up something like :

Guest Name __________________________
Address _____________________________
Phone Number ________________________
Attending? Yes / No
Number Attending _____Adults_____Children
Meal Preference _______________________ (if you're doing meals)
Gift Received _________________________
Date Gift Received ____________________
Sent Thank-You? _____________________

Then you can check off when you send the thank-you card so you can keep track of what people sent you and if you've replied.

It also keeps everyone's address handy while you're doing the thank-yous. And I certainly need something like that since I'm such a scatterbrain! :grinhappy:

[NicksBride]

oh thats a good idea!

[bichonlvr]

Great idea....I am going to use something like that!!! Thanks!

[shawnsgirl]

In my microsoft works templates at home I have a spreadsheet templet that I am using for the gift log. I'm not associating it with the rsvp cards I have that spreadsheet I made seperate..I guess in a way I don't want to know out of all that attend my shower, wedding etc of who all bought gifts/cards etc. I almost feel like I'm keeping tabs so I decided just to keep it seperate. I don't want to know who decided not to even make a card ya know?? Anyhow, I'm one of those people that hated registering for gifts..I feel like I'm almost asking for things..Even though that's not what it is..I'm not one to accept gifts I'd rather give..I dunno I'm weird like that...Like, if someone gives me something unexpected- I'm the one to say please don't..Like for instance...When Shawn and I got engaged his grandma cut us a sizeable check to put towards the wedding. I felt horrible the day we deposited it. Although, instead of mailing the thank you we gave her a surprise thank you with the thank you card in hand! Anyhow, I'm just funny about receiving gifts...I even feel weird opening gifts infront of people..I don't know how I'll get thru my shower!! LOL! I told you gals I'm flippin weird !

[Jacklynn]

I didn't send thank you's out until after the wedding. Like you, I didn't know if they were shower gifts or what, so I wanted and then thanked them for their gift for our marriage or whatever. I wanted to send them all at once. I just kept track of what we got.

[ladymelissa]

I want to send picture thank you notes! Is that okay do you think??? So that means I would wait until after the wedding! Should I order the matching ones with the invitations?

I sent picture TYs for wedding gifts. I told our photog what I wanted to do and he sent some choices for this purpose within a couple of days, then I ordered the cards with faster shipping. In the end, all the TYs were out within a month of the wedding. So picture TYs are doable.

Shower gifts require separate TYs and should be sent shortly after the shower, before the wedding. If you wanted to do pic TYs for the shower, I would recommend using an e-pic.

[bichonlvr]

In my microsoft works templates at home I have a spreadsheet templet that I am using for the gift log. I'm not associating it with the rsvp cards I have that spreadsheet I made seperate..

Can you move to my house and helpe me with this...you are SOOOo organized :)

[shawnsgirl]

Can you move to my house and helpe me with this...you are SOOOo organized :)

I totally would love to come to california to visit and help!!! I've never been there...Can you wait until after sept 1st though???LOL

[bichonlvr]

I sent picture TYs for wedding gifts. I told our photog what I wanted to do and he sent some choices for this purpose within a couple of days, then I ordered the cards with faster shipping. In the end, all the TYs were out within a month of the wedding. So picture TYs are doable.

Shower gifts require separate TYs and should be sent shortly after the shower, before the wedding. If you wanted to do pic TYs for the shower, I would recommend using an e-pic.

I want pic TY's for the wedding...I will just do plan old TY for the shower! Was it a pain to do pic TY for the wedding? I was thinking someone could take a pic and I could go to Costco and get them done!

[bichonlvr]

I totally would love to come to california to visit and help!!! I've never been there...Can you wait until after sept 1st though???LOL
Well okay I guess :D:D:D:D!!!!

[ladymelissa]

I want pic TY's for the wedding...I will just do plan old TY for the shower! Was it a pain to do pic TY for the wedding? I was thinking someone could take a pic and I could go to Costco and get them done!
No, it was no trouble at all. Our photog was wonderful though and he couldn't get us a folded card with just the pic on the front like I wanted. So he emailed me a the digital file of the pic we wanted to use and I ordered through Vista Print. I was extremely happy with Vista, they were very easy to work with, I talked with a designer on the phone (you can also do it on their website) and their product was awesome. I even sent one to the photog b/c he was interested in what we got and he was amazed at the quality of the printing. He even checked the color quality and gave them very high marks.

[TangoWedding]

I even feel weird opening gifts infront of people..I don't know how I'll get thru my shower!!


Oooooh, me too. I hate opening presents in front of people. I'm not real big on doing the "OH MY GOD I LOVE IT!!!!!" thing, but when you open gifts you kinda have to do that. Even if you don't think it's ALL that great. :grinhappy:

Yeah. So I'm hoping I can sneak by this whole wedding thing without having to open anything in front of people. Hehe!

[bichonlvr]

Oooooh, me too. I hate opening presents in front of people. I'm not real big on doing the "OH MY GOD I LOVE IT!!!!!" thing, but when you open gifts you kinda have to do that. Even if you don't think it's ALL that great. :grinhappy:

Yeah. So I'm hoping I can sneak by this whole wedding thing without having to open anything in front of people. Hehe!

MEEE TOOOOOO!!! I had an end of the year shower at the school I was leaving...it was SOO nice of them, but they made me open presents in front of EVERYONE!!!! The funny part is I am a BIG snoop and I had looked at my registry 3 hours before..so we turned it into a game..guess the present... THAT WAS FUN AND FUNNY! Really took the pressure off!!!!

[recentlymarried]

You can do either. We received a ton of gifts before the wedding, some the week after the invites went out even. I sent out thank yous right away but then I sent another card out after the wedding to those people because I gave everyone photos from the wedding of us and any pictures that were captured of them (those who attended). It's your big day, no one will be offended if you wait until after the wedding and it's perfectly fine to send thank yous before.

[Rainbow Brite]

I'm stuck trying to figure out when to send these out too. I was also thinking of doing a photo TYC, but at the same time, after the wedding is over, I don't want to still have to stress about getting the pictures, picking out our fav, designing a card, getting them printed, getting them sent to us and then still having to fill them out and mail them. All of that would just take too much time IMO and I want people to know that we're thankful for what they gave us ASAP.

Hmmmm....

[StaceyMc]

Instead of doing a photo TYC, I designed and printed our thank you's long before the wedding and then chose a picture that I loved, had small wallet prints done and sent the pic in the TYC. I got a lot of compliments on it and people have told me that our pic is still on their fridge, or wherever :)

[Rainbow Brite]

Instead of doing a photo TYC, I designed and printed our thank you's long before the wedding and then chose a picture that I loved, had small wallet prints done and sent the pic in the TYC. I got a lot of compliments on it and people have told me that our pic is still on their fridge, or wherever :)That's a great idea! Thanks :D

[dawsmi]

It has been 3 weeks since my wedding and I have all my thank you cards ready but am waiting on my pictures to come in!! I want to include a wedding picture with all the thank you cards before I send them! I thought that it might be a nice gesture to those who couldn't come or didn't have a camera! But the people who did my pictures haven't sent them out yet so it is a waiting game now!!!