Wedding Registry help!

[Andrea86]

Boy am I posting a lot today.....What can I say I have a lot of questions when it comes to a wedding.:D

I have been seeing all of these wedding registries all over the place when I go on web sites and when I am at certain stores. What are these, and how do they work? I would really like to do them, but would like to know everything about them first, and does anyone have any suggestions for certain ones? Has anyone had any bad experiences with them?

Thanks a million,

[mariaandmanish]

A wedding registry is fairly simple. It's where you register for gifts that you would like to receive from your guests. That way, your guests have an idea of things you want and need, and you don't end up with 20 picture frames and 2 toasters. LOL... The way it works is you go into the desired store, you let them know you want to register, get their little scan thing, and go around scanning the items you want. You then include the registry information in a bridal shower invitation, or on a website if you have one, and your guests can usually log on to the stores website and see what you've registered for, or can go into the store, request a copy of your registry, and buy items that way. Hope this info helps!

[Andrea86]

A wedding registry is fairly simple. It's where you register for gifts that you would like to receive from your guests. That way, your guests have an idea of things you want and need, and you don't end up with 20 picture frames and 2 toasters. LOL... The way it works is you go into the desired store, you let them know you want to register, get their little scan thing, and go around scanning the items you want. You then include the registry information in a bridal shower invitation, or on a website if you have one, and your guests can usually log on to the stores website and see what you've registered for, or can go into the store, request a copy of your registry, and buy items that way. Hope this info helps!



When we register can we just make many copies of our registry and then send them to everyone when we send our invites? We were planning on going to few stores. The registry sounds like fun and I think it sounds like a good idea. I deffinitely don't want like 20 picture frames I already have enough of them.

Thanks,

[shawnsgirl]

Ok...well with the wedding registries the store will take an item once it is purcahsed off of you registry...Including any wedding regisrty information in your wedding invitations is a big ettiquette no no..

My advice...Register at 1-3 stores at the most. Have a list printed off for yourself to take with you at each store so you don't duplicate what you already registered for at one store. Then tell whomever is doing you shower invitations to include the wedding registry information in them. Like I said before its a big wedding no no to include any wedding registry or gift information in wedding invitations. Hope this helps!

[Andrea86]

Ok...well with the wedding registries the store will take an item once it is purcahsed off of you registry...Including any wedding regisrty information in your wedding invitations is a big ettiquette no no..

My advice...Register at 1-3 stores at the most. Have a list printed off for yourself to take with you at each store so you don't duplicate what you already registered for at one store. Then tell whomever is doing you shower invitations to include the wedding registry information in them. Like I said before its a big wedding no no to include any wedding registry or gift information in wedding invitations. Hope this helps!

What happends if a bridal shower is not going to happen, then what do you do with the registry. Tom had mentioned once we know who is going we will send the guest who are coming from out of state maps of where they will need to go for the wedding and reception, and also have the registry in there as well. Then with people in state we will just send them the registry after we know they are coming. How does that sound?

[shawnsgirl]

You really souldn't send any gift information in your wedding invitations..Why don't you start a wedding website and list your registry information there. Then send out save the date cards with you wedding website on that. The only type of invites that get registry information on them are shower invitations. People may get offended if you send out gift registry information. If people are unsure word of mouth goes far....I myself since sending out wedding invites had 6 phone calls of where we are registered. So, as well if people want to know they will ask! Hope this helps!

[ladymelissa]

For the love of god, DO NOT include registry info with your wedding invites! In most circles it is akin to asking for gifts and considered very rude and presumptuous! Use word of mouth, tell your parents and BP where you are registered and/or start a wedding website, there are free sites available. People will find the info if they so desire.

[Andrea86]

For the love of god, DO NOT include registry info with your wedding invites! In most circles it is akin to asking for gifts and considered very rude and presumptuous! Use word of mouth, tell your parents and BP where you are registered and/or start a wedding website, there are free sites available. People will find the info if they so desire.


I repeat we are NOT putting the registry in with our wedding invites. What we were going to do is after we send out our invites and we know who is going to be coming to the wedding then that is then when we send them the registry page, and also the maps of where we are going to be going. It's kind of like a little package for them. Now that I don't feel is rude. I don't see how that is sending them with the invites. I can see how putting the registry in your invites can be rude, but we are not doing that.

[ladymelissa]

I repeat we are NOT putting the registry in with our wedding invites. What we were going to do is after we send out our invites and we know who is going to be coming to the wedding then that is then when we send them the registry page, and also the maps of where we are going to be going. It's kind of like a little package for them. Now that I don't feel is rude. I don't see how that is sending them with the invites. I can see how putting the registry in your invites can be rude, but we are not doing that.

Don't do that either. If they want to know where you are registered, they will ask. The couple should not send out unsolicited registry info. Not to mention, this way is much more confusing and you will spend even more in postage doing two mailings and it adds up. Also, sometimes not everyone RSVPs in a timely fashion and you may not have time to send out the maps later so just put the maps with the invite.

[Viajar]

we know who is going to be coming to the wedding then that is then when we send them the registry page, and also the maps of where we are going to be going. It's kind of like a little package for them. Now that I don't feel is rude.

I'd say that going out of your way to do that is even more rude than just including them in the invite. At least if you included it in the invite people could say, "well, maybe they didn't know it's rude" but to send them the registry page?:bbeek: That screams something bad it's like "please come to my affair and bring something". I am not trying to be snippy so please don't take it as that.
I know people want to get gifts but there is no reason to be pushy about it.

I'd be quite offended if someone sent me a registry page. So much, that if no one stopped me I'd send them an etiquette book as a gift. With a bookmark on the page that pertains to gift giving.

I agree with ladymelissa in that if people want to know, they will ask. If not they will either give you money or give you something they want you to have. After all, it's the thought that counts.

[KMS]

Personally, I've never been offended by receiving registry info w/ a wedding invitation. I've actually never gotten an invitation that didn't have a registry page included. I live in south Texas; etiquette is different around here. People are generally very casual. I think that it's quite helpful because I want to know what the couple actually wants so I don't buy them anything useless.

However, I'm not just inviting people that live around here. There will be people invited from around the country and I'm sure that there would be people who would be offended if I included the registry page. And I understand that because I can totally see where they're coming from. I am doing online and phone RSVPs so they can find out registry info on our website or ask about it when they call in to RSVP if they'd like to know. I don't want to offend anybody with some silly registry stuff so I'm not even going to go there.

I agree with Melissa that postage for sending an extra package could get costly. It might be more cost efficient to send the few extra pages along with the invite to begin with. Unless, of coarse, you really want to send an extra little something for them and don't care about the extra cost. Of coarse, I love any little piece of "fun" mail that I get so I would welcome 2 wedding related packages!! :D

[KMS]

Oh, also as far as which stores to register at...

I've heard good and bad things about Target. More bad than good, however. Never heard any complaints against Bed Bath & Beyond or Linens & Things. We will be registering at Bed Bath & Beyond. For china and finer housewares we will be registering at Dillard's.

[Andrea86]

See to me some people take it offensive as others may not. So I will just not send any registry at all and if people want to know if we have applied to any then that is when I will let them know. And don't worry no one made me upset with what they said, I just guess this whole thing is more of a touchy subject than I thought it was going to be.

So obviously do not send them in the invites, the vote seems to be high on that one. And also the vote is high at not even sending them a registry at all. So I will do what some of you have suggested, and that is not send anything and hope the word gets around to your guests.

That is why I joined this forum so I could learn things as I haven't really ever been part of any weddings so this is all new to me. Thank you all for your help, and if you have any additional advice or anything then please let me know.

Thanks again,

[Nekochanpurr]

Sorry, i don't mean to highjack.. But question here! How about sending 'we are registered to' cards in the bridal shower invites? Not the whole list and everything, just which stores... Of course, not with the wedding invites, though.. O.o;

[Andrea86]

Sorry, i don't mean to highjack.. But question here! How about sending 'we are registered to' cards in the bridal shower invites? Not the whole list and everything, just which stores... Of course, not with the wedding invites, though.. O.o;


I think this is a really good idea, except I do not think I am going to be having a bridal shower, so does anyone think it would be bad to name the places we are registered to in the invites? Just asking for help.

Thanks!

[ladymelissa]

Registry info is acceptable to send out with shower invites b/c the bride is not the one that hosts the shower and the entire purpose of a shower is the gifts. Quite literally it means to "shower the bride with gifts" to help start a home.

[mariaandmanish]

Probably the easiest way for you to get your registry info out is to do what Shawnsgirl suggested, and start a wedding website. There are a lot of free ones out there. Then you can send a mass email out to whomever you have an email address for, letting them know that you've created the website, so they can keep up with your planning, etc... Then, you can write down the names of the places you've registered for on your site, and they can get the info from there, and send it around word of mouth. Your only other option if you don't want to do a wedding website, is to wait for people to ask and hope they spread it.