Brides what are your opinions?

[delmar]

Hello Brides-

As a vendor I wanted to get your opinion on somethings. I have listed a bunch of questions for you to answer if you feel like it and have time.

Thanks- Sarah

1. What do you think a wedding planner does?
2. How do you think a wedding planner or coordinator can help you?
3. Do you think there are differences between wedding planners, wedding coordinators, and wedding consultants? (If so what are the differences?)
4. What do you think a wedding planner should cost for what they provide? (Obviously based on your area.)
5. Do all brides assume "wedding planners or coordinators" can only be afforded if they have a HUGE budget?
6. Any other comments about planners, coordinators or consultants?

[usahgrad]

1. What do you think a wedding planner does? Everything I'm doing now...coordinating the caterer, the florist, the site, so on and so forth...
2. How do you think a wedding planner or coordinator can help you? Keeps the stress of the day off of the bride's shoulders...
3. Do you think there are differences between wedding planners, wedding coordinators, and wedding consultants? (If so what are the differences?)
Wedding Planner: Stuff beforehand: see above
Wedding Coordinator: Day-of stuff...making sure the FoB isn't totally smashed because his little girl is getting married (ok, I've seen the wedding planner to many times...)
Wedding Consultant: Provides you with information concerning different vendors and ideas, but basically lets you do on your own
4. What do you think a wedding planner should cost for what they provide? (Obviously based on your area.) In my fantasy: free! Man that would take a ton of weight off of my shoulders. I've heard someone charged a percentage of the wedding, which makes sense to me to a point. They're basing their charge off of the wedding budget, but then they're charge ends up outside the budget, if that makes sense. I would do it on a sliding scale...if you're wedding costs between this much and this much you have to pay this much...of course, the price would have to be reasonable for both the couple and the planner.
5. Do all brides assume "wedding planners or coordinators" can only be afforded if they have a HUGE budget? I do. Have you priced out wedding planners lately? I looked into it a little bit and I just couldn't believe how expensive it was. And I've got a small budget for the wedding.
6. Any other comments about planners, coordinators or consultants? I would really rather do it myself...it is MY big day after all...the only other person I would really want involved would be my FH, but he just wants it to be legal, so I don't really have to worry about incorporating his ideas.

Did I get an A?

[CindySue]

heres my list!
1. What do you think a wedding planner does?
I think their job is to help the Bride make the proper decisions so that she can have her dream wedding, I know that most planners get stuck with most of the grunt work.
2. How do you think a wedding planner or coordinator can help you?
With mine being so tiny and intimate, she would just have to help me make my ideas happen.
3. Do you think there are differences between wedding planners, wedding coordinators, and wedding consultants? (If so what are the differences?)
well planners and coordinators make things happen and consultants give ideas for you to make happen? Probably got that one wrong!
4. What do you think a wedding planner should cost for what they provide? (Obviously based on your area.)
See thats just it, I dont really know of any in this area, but the ones Ive heard about in other areas of my state, change like 10% of the wedding budget. And if they can save you money for your wedding then great...if not, then you go over budget or have to do without something.
5. Do all brides assume "wedding planners or coordinators" can only be afforded if they have a HUGE budget?
:bbredface: I think that. We are working with a $1200-$1500 budget, that we are in the process of saving ourselves. I would love to have someone help me, but my budget is spent, and Im even having to do without a few things I would have liked to have because we cant afford it. I typed all my notes in my wedding journal.....I dont think I did too bad.
6. Any other comments about planners, coordinators or consultants?
My weddings is really small but I could definitely see where a planner would be a Godsend especially these real big ones.

Hope my answers help you a little.

[ikkin510]

1. What do you think a wedding planner does?
I think a wedding planner is exactly like it sounds, helps the bride plan a wedding. The planner would most likely have connections to a wide variety of vendors in the are for all type of budges. They would also be up to date of current tends and style to help give ideas.
2. How do you think a wedding planner or coordinator can help you?
I hate planning my wedding. I feel more like I'm planning the day for someone else and not me. So to me, the planner would take the few idea that I have and I know I want and run with it. Help come up with more idea and help to find ways for me to stick to my budget.
3. Do you think there are differences between wedding planners, wedding coordinators, and wedding consultants? (If so what are the differences?)
Basicly what Kelli said. A planner helps to plan the wedding, and is with the bride through the whole process. Basicly takes the load of the bride's shoulders. The coordinator comes into play possibly a week before and helps the actual ceremony run smoothly by putting all the pieces together and helping with the last minute things. And a Consultant is a person who Gives you ideas and pointers, but the bride is still in control and does the majority of the work.
4. What do you think a wedding planner should cost for what they provide? (Obviously based on your area.)
I really don't know. I can see the 10 or 15% of the total budget. They do provide a lot of help and (hopefully) have way to save money in other areas of the budget.
5. Do all brides assume "wedding planners or coordinators" can only be afforded if they have a HUGE budget?
I know I do. I have a small budget and have a hard time fitting everything into it so as it is. So to have to budget more out for a planner would be relaly tough. I don't think I feel it is worth it for a smaller budget. Unless maybe the bride does not have the time to do most of the planning herself and she feels the planner would be a nessesity.
6. Any other comments about planners, coordinators or consultants?
If I could afford to have one, I would. I don't like the stress of planning at all!

[delmar]

Hi ladies-
In response to my own post I thought I'd definately let you know one or two of my budget pointers.

Having a small wedding budget can be VERY hard. Wedding related things are SOOO OVERPRICED its ridiculous. I personally don't have a very small package for budget brides, but am very willing to work with "budget brides".

#1- Ask and you shall receive is one of my motos! I had a bride recently ask what my hourly rate was and when I told her she ACTUALLY NEGOTIATED me to a lower hourly rate so that I fit into her budget. If thats what I need to do to help out, then thats great.

#2- Be aware that after negotiating etc. A wedding planner/consultant/coordinator can actually save you $. Depending on your budget they can save you hundereds to thousands of dollars. The savings they get you from other vendors should equal the amount you are paying for them and hense why you can afford the services to begin with.

Any feedback for/from brides or vendors on the idea of negotiation?

[usahgrad]

Wow! Wish I had the money to be saving thousands of dollars on my wedding...lol.

I was watching American Wedding last night thinking about how big and luxurious and EXPENSIVE that wedding would have been for real people (especially considering they had to remake the cake and ALL of the flower decorations). I thought about my little wedding and wondered if it was going to be just as great...I mean, I know it will for me (we could be getting married at the courthouse in our jeans and t-shirts and it would be great to me) but I wonder if it will awe my guests...I guess that's probably what I would hire a bridal consultant for...the ability to AWE people...:)

[WebLady]

... Any feedback for/from brides or vendors on the idea of negotiation?

I don't have any problems with negotiating with brides but I can't stand the way some of those 'get rid of your wedding planner' articles that say you should "Demand" things be done your way or the highway ... Let me tell you what, if someone came to me with that kind of an attitude I wouldn't want to do anything for them. But if someone came to me and said that they were really on a tight budget and liked what I did and asked me if there was a way that I could work with them then I would be happy to do so ... and I have on many occasions throughout my career. I like helping people but I don't like demanding people and/or being used and taken advantage of, ya know what I mean?

I guess it is like the old "you get more with sugar" thing ;)

Well those are my thoughts.

Best wishes,

~ WebLady :)

[WebLady]

...I was watching American Wedding last night thinking about how big and luxurious and EXPENSIVE that wedding would have been for real people (especially considering they had to remake the cake and ALL of the flower decorations). I thought about my little wedding and wondered if it was going to be just as great...I mean, I know it will for me (we could be getting married at the courthouse in our jeans and t-shirts and it would be great to me) but I wonder if it will awe my guests...I guess that's probably what I would hire a bridal consultant for...the ability to AWE people...:)

Don't worry about making anyone else happy, you have to do what makes you and your FH happy and do what you can afford. If your friends and family are really that, then they will be happy for you in whatever you do and offer them. Weddings can be great no matter what you spend. If you can afford a large and/or extravagant wedding, go for it but if you don't have the big bucks then just do what you can. You will still end up married whatever you do, right!? We all need to remember that it should really about the "Marriage" and not so much about the "Wedding"

But back to the issue of Wedding Planners ... If you are planning a traditional wedding, I do think there is a place for a Wedding Planner even for the 'budget bride' If you do all the pre-planning yourself, I would still highly recommend to at least get a 'directer/coordinator' for the rehearsal and the wedding day.

Best wishes to all,

~ WebLady :)

[Tiggerprincess]

Why worry about "AWEIN'" people? Sweetie its your wedding...I mean fit your budget...Its the bride and groom that "awe" a weedding..Trust me!! Ive been to beautiful ones and they have made me leave there sayin it was the ugliest wedding i've ever been to...Don't worry everything wil turn out absolutly gorgeous and people will leave there thinkin it was gorgeous..Enjoy YOUR day..Plan it how YOU want...The personal touch will make it unforgettable...
D.D.

[usahgrad]

Thanks guys...that was helpful. I guess that's what my pre-wedding jitters are about for the most part...I mean, I know it doesn't reallymatter, in the end we'll still be married; but I still worry...*jitter, jitter*:biggrin:

[ikkin510]

Kelli, I worry too! I know deep down that all that matters is that we are married at the end of the day! But I guess I just worry too much about what others think. I want everyone to enjoy the day and have fun! Not walk away thinking "well, that was ok." I guess in part that comes from my FSIL. She is have a HUGE, expensive wedding about 2 months before we are and I'm so worried that people will compare the two and ours will come up short. But all my friends are saying that they love the smaller weddings. They are more laid back and much more fun in their oppinion. So that helped me out a bit, just thought I'd pass that on to you!

[usahgrad]

I can't imagine how that would be. All I have is my aunt who WILL NOT KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT no matter what! So if there's something she doesn't think is right, she'll make sure to let everyone know about it. I'm worried about that more than anything...I guess that should go in wedding vents and frustrations...:)

[The Wedding Diva]

What a great thread :)

Kelli, good luck with your aunt! Don't sweat it ;)

[Shawna Bride]

I put my answers in the hot pink! ;)
Hello Brides-

As a vendor I wanted to get your opinion on somethings. I have listed a bunch of questions for you to answer if you feel like it and have time.

Thanks- Sarah

1. What do you think a wedding planner does? Relieves all the stress that would be resting on the Bride's shoulders- my biggest regret is not getting one from the start.
2. How do you think a wedding planner or coordinator can help you? Find cheaper deals, help co-ordinate everything, mediate between families.
3. Do you think there are differences between wedding planners, wedding coordinators, and wedding consultants? (If so what are the differences?) I never thought there was to be honest.
4. What do you think a wedding planner should cost for what they provide? (Obviously based on your area.) 1000-2000
5. Do all brides assume "wedding planners or coordinators" can only be afforded if they have a HUGE budget? Yes
6. Any other comments about planners, coordinators or consultants?

[The Wedding Diva]

I hate to hijack, but this has had me forever curious....

Why don't brides get a wedding planner? Do people think that it is only for the rich or do they think that they can handle it all and don't want anyone telling them what to do?

[CindySue]

I hate to hijack, but this has had me forever curious....

Why don't brides get a wedding planner? Do people think that it is only for the rich or do they think that they can handle it all and don't want anyone telling them what to do?

They really dont have that sorta thing around here, unless you are spending over $10,000 on your wedding. Im spending, maybe, just over $1000. Do I think I can handle it? No...Im going nuts!!! I really wish I had someone I could get together with IN PERSON and talk about my ideas and what would be the best way to make it work. I pretty much have my May 13th wedding planned and 95% of my ideas came from this chat site. These girls are great!!!! Im just having a hard time making my plans a reality. I dont know where to start. I think this is where a planner would be a Godsend.

[The Wedding Diva]

Cindy, I'm sorry! I wish we were closer. If you would really like one, let me know...I new a few planners in TX and can see if they are close to you.

[CindySue]

Cindy, I'm sorry! I wish we were closer. If you would really like one, let me know...I new a few planners in TX and can see if they are close to you.

Thats sweet but even if there is one close to me, there is absolutely NO way I could afford it. Im scrimping to stretch my budget enough as it is. Thanks though!

[The Wedding Diva]

That's a common misconception-- there are planners out there who are willing to work with you. All though I have run into a lot that have the "Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to do without it" mentality, a lot are willing to work within your budget. Some even allow a la carte packages. Check your local community college or churches too :)

GLTY

[delmar]

Hello ladies. Its been a while since my last post and I finally thought I'd follow up on this post I made.

I personally have set prices for set packages, but also have an hourly rate. Like I said be fore I've even negotiated a lower rate with a bride before. More power to her for even asking!

Coordinators/Planners aren't just for the "rich" or "high budget weddings". I also have a budget bride package that is based on a % of the budget or I can work/play around with my hourly rate.

I am more than willing to give any bride my free initial consultation. You'd be surprised how much little info you might catch onto in that first 1-2 hours.

Fully being honest here: The fee paid for Coordination and Planning is almost 100% PROFIT! Yes 100%!!! With the exception of paying for phone bills or replenishing my "bridal crisis kits" its 100% profit for me. I charge a very reasonable travel and possibly an overnight fee and that goes toward the gas and travel expense. Thats one reason I am so open to negotiation of my fees.

[The Wedding Diva]

It is my belief that every bride should have one. As a matter of fact, once a couple is engaged, I have no problem with the family coming to me and getting a gift certificate of sorts for them. I don't just say that because I am one, I say that because this is what I do. I think people view us as midwives or doulas at time, great to have, but not absolutely necessary for the show like the OB (or in our cases, the officiant). I was just curious as to why more women don't get consultants or at least meet with them. I know I personally offer a lot of services (packages, a la carte services, etc) as I know my counterparts do as well. I am working on a lot of marketing to erase some of the stigmas, misconceptions and all around ignorance with planners and weddings. The fact of the matter is....the bride is only supposed to this "once", why not enlist the help of a professional?

[wedbyjean]

[QUOTE=The Wedding Diva]Why don't brides get a wedding planner? QUOTE]

In my experience I find that brides (their moms, their friends. . .) think

1) we ARE only for the fich and famous, and are too expensive
2) we will take over and do it our way, not their way
3) will only do all or nothing
4) prevent them from planning their own wedding
5) will throw a lot of "shoulds" and "have-to" at them

Also, the brides aren't aware of all the behind-the-scenes stuff we actually do to create the illusion of perfection. We do more than just get everyone down the aisle on time, or signal them when it's time to cut the cake.

You're right, there are a lot of stigmas and misconceptions attached. Partly from the exposure brides have of us (movies such as Father of the Bride & The Wedding Planner, and wedding industry celebs like Colin Cowie & Preston Bailey); and partly from WC's who aren't professional, aren't trained & experienced and have no clue as to what they're doing.

[usahgrad]

While I agree that a wedding planner could be really helpful, there is so much we have to pay for that I just can't see skimming some stuff to have someone do the work that I could be doing myself. Yes, I know they get discounts here and there, but in my experience, I've been able to find good discounts and save quit a bit doing it myself. I'm only using two vendors, so it's not like a wedding planner could have saved me a ton of money there.

Yes, a little bit less work would be worth it, but this work is nothing compared to the work involved in making a marriage work and I can't hire someone to do that for me. So I might as well prepare myself.

Besides, nowadays we can always find a great site like this and utilize great people like who are on here to help us plan our weddings! Who needs professional planners when you have WebLady, CindySue, LaceyinPgh, bnd, rainbowtreat and all the other insanely helpful girls on here!

[The Wedding Diva]

That is one of the misconceptions that I would like to break: wedding planners only do "one" thing. I feel like we are just thrown into a box sometimes. I hear a lot of brides say that they don't want to pay someone to do the work they have themselves, or I got "Fire Your Wedding Planner!" or I am a part of the knot, etc. I'd like to see the knot.com save your wedding cake when it arrives with a huge gash in it and the baker is no where to be found or make sure that you get that perfect shot that will hang over your kids hearth and live forever in your memory :) Do you see what I mean? What I tell my brides is that this is (hopefully) the only wedding you will ever have; this is the only one you will plan. I do this for a living-- if you can enlist the help of a professional at any stage of your planning, I think its worth it. I look at my job as to run with you, not ahead of you or for you. While I do have the potential to get my clients "discounts", I also offer other services, like RSVP and Invitation Services, a Buff Bride Clinic, fashion consulting services, and much more.

I think highly of those women who take it by the horns and don't lose their minds in the process :) Just remember to delegate, delegate, delegate. Even to a party member or relative. After all...this is supposed to be a happy occasion amidst all the stress!

[usahgrad]

While I understand what you're saying, I'm already paying a baker to make sure the cake doesn't show up with a gash in it and I'm paying a photographer to get that perfect shot. If I'd have the extra money, I'd get the insurance, but I can't even afford Health Insurance at this point, let alone insurance on my wedding...I'm not putting you in a box, I know wedding planners do great things, I just can't justify spending money on getting someone to do something you could do yourself or you're already paying someone else to do.

[The Wedding Diva]

I totally get that :) You may pay the baker to create and deliver the cake, but please refer to me if she sits by it for the few hours before its cut to insure nothing happens to it. Your photographer will get the perfect shot, but something a client may want that the photographer doesn't know won't get done unless he is told. I think of it as a symphony-- every instrument and its player are great on their own. Sometimes it takes a conductor to pull them together to get them greater.

I'm just saying things happen...and when they do, there's wedding planners.

LOL-- someone call Allstate! We've got a new slogan!

If you can't justify an expense, don't get it. You've just aced Planning 101! ;) Best of luck to you and yours...enjoy the planning--that's the fun part!

[CindySue]

I totally get that :) You may pay the baker to create and deliver the cake, but please refer to me if she sits by it for the few hours before its cut to insure nothing happens to it. Your photographer will get the perfect shot, but something a client may want that the photographer doesn't know won't get done unless he is told. I think of it as a symphony-- every instrument and its player are great on their own. Sometimes it takes a conductor to pull them together to get them greater.

I'm just saying things happen...and when they do, there's wedding planners.

LOL-- someone call Allstate! We've got a new slogan!

If you can't justify an expense, don't get it. You've just aced Planning 101! ;) Best of luck to you and yours...enjoy the planning--that's the fun part!

I know that on "the big day" there is probably gonna be tons of things I forget. I know me enough to know how scattered brained I will most likely be.
Youre right about delegating, BUT.......Ive had problems getting people to actually do what they say they will do.

[bnd94]

I hate to hijack, but this has had me forever curious....

Why don't brides get a wedding planner? Do people think that it is only for the rich or do they think that they can handle it all and don't want anyone telling them what to do?

My reasoning is I can do it myself with help from my family so why pay someone else to do it. I have plenty of time too so there is no time issue. Another big contributor is that I am a control freak. I don't think I could sit back and let someone else plan for me. I know what I want what if I couldn't convey that to the planner and everything comes out all wrong. I am not very good at letting people do things for me. I was brought up to think if I want it done and done right then I should do it myself. Also it is my wedding so why would I want someone telling me what to do. It should be the other way around shouldn't it?

JMHO.

[The Wedding Diva]

LOL in my personal life, I'm in the same boat as you Cindy :) What I have found is to play the ego role.

"Cindy, you know you are so great at being organized and always on time. I wish I had that trait! Do you think you could help me with..."

Typically I find that if people really think you are good at something and want you to help them because you are good, you tend to be more dependable with your assistance LOL.

PS-- the same thing works for getting people to do what you want them to do...I did this with DH LOL "It's so unlike you to not __________________. Do you think you could ___________?"

[The Wedding Diva]

You're right Becky. That is how I approach it-- that is how alot of my associates approach it as well. It's not my wedding. I am blessed because I get to witness two people begin their lives together all the time. I don't want to take away from the small nuances, traditions etc that make then wedding unique and special to each couple. Personally, I have no desire to take over any one's wedding. I'm paid to consult, and in some cases, run the show (in terms rehearsal, ceremony and reception). I make it clear that my job is to be the liaison...to make sure my clients get what they want-- not what other vendors want to do, etc.

I'm not here trying to sell everyone on the wedding planner, I was just curious as to what real brides thought. I agree that not all weddings need a wedding planner: Some scream for it some don't. To be honest, I don't really think a lot of brides truly know what a planner does and make general assumptions. You'd be surprised :)

[CindySue]

I have had 2 girls close tell me they are going to help and then both fell off the face of the earth. Well one climb back on but I have already handled the part she was going to. i have no desire to go through the same mess with her so i wont be asking her for anything. My little sister in Lousiana has been a tremendous help. Sort of like my "consultant". She has already done soooo much to help. And the girls here have been great too. I know my biggest obstacle is going to be keeping my sanity on the day of my wedding, while making sure everything is set up and running smooth, making sure my kids dont get dirty or into anything, and looking pretty AND enjoying myself. :bbeek: What in the world have I set myself up for?

[bnd94]

LOL! You'll be fine Cindy! I know you can do it girl!! :D

[WebLady]

... Besides, nowadays we can always find a great site like this and utilize great people like who are on here to help us plan our weddings! Who needs professional planners when you have WebLady, CindySue, LaceyinPgh, bnd, rainbowtreat and all the other insanely helpful girls on here!

I am glad to help ... I actually enjoy being a part of this board and helping you guys wherever I can :D

As I said before, I do see a place for coordinators/planners but I don't think that every bride needs one ... unless you can find someone like me that just likes to do it and would do the whole deal for like $100 But, I do highly recommend you at least have a coordinator/director for the rehearsal and the ceremony. I know a few people out here where can get this service for like $300 or less for the rehearsal and 4 hours on the day of the wedding ... things will run so much better and no one will have to worry with the details on the day of. At the very least, you could just appoint a friend to play this role for you.

I am doing the coordinating for a friend's wedding coming in March and I am not charging her (I know she will offer to pay at some point but that is not why I am doing it) she is going to feed me and refer me to others and it isn't really much more than my time anyway. I have ended up helping her with the planning alot too ... found out today that I am also going to be doing the flowers ... guess I shouldn't have shown her that I could huh ;) But I know she won't take advantage of me and I wouldn't go overboard like that with everyone ... well, actually I have ... oh well :)

:goodluck: to all of you!

[CindySue]

I am glad to help ... I actually enjoy being a part of this board and helping you guys wherever I can :D

As I said before, I do see a place for coordinators/planners but I don't think that every bride needs one ... unless you can find someone like me that just likes to do it and would do the whole deal for like $100 But, I do highly recommend you at least have a coordinator/director for the rehearsal and the ceremony. I know a few people out here where can get this service for like $300 or less for the rehearsal and 4 hours on the day of the wedding ... things will run so much better and no one will have to worry with the details on the day of. At the very least, you could just appoint a friend to play this role for you.

I am doing the coordinating for a friend's wedding coming in March and I am not charging her (I know she will offer to pay at some point but that is not why I am doing it) she is going to feed me and refer me to others and it isn't really much more than my time anyway. I have ended up helping her with the planning alot too ... found out today that I am also going to be doing the flowers ... guess I shouldn't have shown her that I could huh ;) But I know she won't take advantage of me and I wouldn't go overboard like that with everyone ... well, actually I have ... oh well :)

:goodluck: to all of you!

I wish I had a friend I knew I could count on to handle the job. My friends are entirely too wishy washy as i have found out. Now IF my sister gets to come in for the wedding (It depends on if her husband can get off work because shes not making a 7 1/2 hour drive with 4 kids by herself.) she will probably self appoint herself for that role. And I would love it!

[wedbyjean]

I'm paid to . . . run the show

A little addition to this. It is your show (the bride & groom's) we are running, NOT our show.

[WebLady]

I wish I had a friend I knew I could count on to handle the job. My friends are entirely too wishy washy as i have found out. Now IF my sister gets to come in for the wedding (It depends on if her husband can get off work because shes not making a 7 1/2 hour drive with 4 kids by herself.) she will probably self appoint herself for that role. And I would love it!

I would do it for ya but Texas is a bit of a hike for me ;) Hopefully your sister can do it for you. If not then just appoint a responsible friend (if you can find one :wink:) that is not in the wedding party :goodluck: I know it will all come together for you :hug:

[rainbowtreat]

Part of my problem here is that ALL of my close freinds and family are int he wedding party. lol So where do I turn for this.

[usahgrad]

I picked my uncle to be my Master of Ceremonies. I figure he'll be the guy that I will use as the contact and the guy who comes out and sets up the few chairs and tables outside (yes, I'm still hoping the weather will be good enough) for the ceremony and handles ceremony music. I have delegated, I'm just not paying people to delegate to.

I can see a place for a wedding planner; it's just not in my wedding.