Tipping Article

[delmar]

Hello Everyone. Not sure if this may be posted somewhere else, but I thought it would be nice to have on here somewhere.
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TIPPING VENDORS (article source not listed)

I know exactly what's going through your mind right this very instant. TIPPING, WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY!?! Yes, we know, you've already paid an absolute fortune for those vendors and now you have to shell out some more. Sorry.
Here are the general rules for tipping. Although it is generally thought to be a voluntary thing (I'd like to know who said that), there are still areas of your wedding that require tipping, but you can still use your discretion. Firstly, you may want to find out from your vendors if tipping is allowed. There are several vendors, caterers for example, that include the wages of their staff in their price. They sometimes discourage tipping. (Bet you hope to hear that a lot!) And some vendors will add "gratuities" to their bills. Be sure not to double tip unless the amount is WELL DESERVED.
If you are using a wedding coordinator/planner or consultant, they should be responsible for delivering the tips and payments to the related vendors. If not, then it should be the duty of the best man. If you don't feel comfortable asking the best man, ask one of the fathers. All tips should be calculated and prepared in separate, labeled envelopes ahead of time, thereby making it much easier for the individual responsible to deliver the tips.
This should give you some guidelines on tipping etiquette. Tipping etiquette is different in different provinces, cities and towns. Please be sure to add this to your budget. The amounts above are only examples and are not written in stone.

TIPS ON TIPPING:
-All tips should be given in CASH. If the person serving you is an employee of the company, their tip should be in a separate envelope.
-Tips can be increased (an extra $25-$50 is nice) for out of area vendors, as a way of saying thank you for their extra time and expenses.
-Tips should be given just before your vendor leaves. That way you can judge how much to give, according to the job they did for you. Tips should be EARNED not EXPECTED.
-All vendors would love a thank you card or letter of reference. It is a great reminder of happy clients and let's face it, it'll help them book future clients.
-Giving vendors a favor, corsage or boutoneer is totally up to the couple and how many they can spare.
-Tips are not required (but again optional) for any vendors charging a delivery or set-up fee.
-Tips are not required for any vendor who has already added a gratuity charge or "pre-tip" into the bill or contracted price. (More vendors are starting to do this.)
-Anywhere from 15-20% is a typical amount (unless a set tip idea is specified: per car, per guest, per jacket). Vendors who gave you an amazing deal, threw something in for free, went out of their way to make you happy, or went above and beyond could be tipped as high as 25% or more.

THE ONES YOU SHOULD TIP:
Altar boys or girls - $10-15.00 each

Limousine Drivers – 15-20% of the limousine bill, given at the end of the evening or at the final drop off point.

Valet Parking Attendants - $.50 to $1.00 per car, prearrange this amount with the supervisor based on an estimate of how many cars will be arriving and a sign should be posted to guests that the gratuity has been taken care of.

Wait staff - If the tip is not on the contract already, 15-20% of the total catering bill is tipped. Wait staff do the hardest physical labour on your wedding day.

Bartenders - 10-20% of the total liquor bill, presented to the head bartender or divided equally among the total number of bartenders who worked the full evening. Make sure that a tip hasn't been added to your contract already.

Restroom and/or Coatroom Attendants - $.50 to $1.00 per guest, prearranged again based on the number of guests.

Your Wedding Planner - This person has planned your wedding from start to finish. An appropriate tip would be 15-20% of their total commission or bill.

Makeup artist or Hair Stylists - You don't have to tip them if they come to you. If you go to the salon, then you should tip them 15%. Why you ask, well the salon makes the money, not the individual. If you have received a good job, and you would tip normally, then go ahead.

DJ - If your DJ owns the company then the tip is optional but if the DJ is an employee $50-100.00If you have 2 DJs (DJ & MC), give each person $50.00 in separate envelopes. (When your guests rave about your reception later, it's the DJ that had everything to do with the fun.)

"OPTIONAL" TIPPING (amounts reflect optional tips):
Business Owners - You don’t have to tip the owner of a business, unless you feel that they have gone beyond the call of duty and you want to give them a token of your appreciation. (NOTE: Owners of family-owned, home-based, or owner-operated businesses typically do all the work themselves. A 15-20% tip of the total bill is appropriate just like any employee.)

Ceremony or Reception Musicians - $5-10/hr per person, in one lump sum given to the person in charge.

Banquet or catering manager - doesn’t need to be tipped unless they’ve thrown in extras or saved you a few hundred dollars on your bill. The tip would be between $50-$100.

Photographer and Videographer - If these vendors own the company, then the tip is optional. If they are employees $50.00 goes to the main photographer and he/she can give a split to the assistant.

Officiant - To tip them is to trivialize their profession and extremely bad etiquette. Generally you pay your fee and that's it. If you wish to make a financial contribution to the church, you can do that separately.

Florist - You don't need to tip the florist for making your arrangements but you can tip them an extra $5.00 per delivery location (3 locations=$15.00) or $10-20.00 per staff member in one lump sum, for set-up and delivery.

Wedding Cake Baker - You don't have to tip for the baking of the cake but if you are at your reception venue at time of delivery and set-up = $10.00

Site Wedding Coordinator or Room Manager- This is the person managing the reception venues staff and facility the night of your wedding = $50.00

Your Wedding Coordinator - If this vendor owns the company, then the tip is optional. If they are an employee = $50.00 (This person may do double duty as a planner so see tipping guideline above.)

[bnd94]

Hello Everyone. Not sure if this may be posted somewhere else, but I thought it would be nice to have on here somewhere.
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TIPPING VENDORS (article source not listed)

I know exactly what's going through your mind right this very instant. TIPPING, WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY!?!

Not to be rude but yeah you hit the nail on the head!:D

[usahgrad]

I'm right there with you Becky...I'm paying my photographer $100 an hour to be there...what do they need a tip for? I know it was under optional...but still. If I were to have a DJ that's something like $75 to $100 an hour too...look I'm all for tipping. I delivered pizzas for a year and if I didn't have tips I'd have had to find a different job but people did not pay $100 for the delivery fee, they paid fifty cents. I may be incredibly rude, but the only person we're going to tip is going to be the officiant but that's just because he's only charging $35. Miss Manners can bite her tongue...like I've said before she's "Miss" which means she never got married. Sorry vendors, but I just don't see why after paying out the :censored: for you guys to be there, we'd have to tip you too. Especially tips that are 15-20%. That's a TON of money if you paid someone a ton of money to be there in the first place. Lastly, I was an altar girl at a million weddings and the most expensive thing I ever got was a thank you card.

Does the fact that the idea that a vendor would even think about getting tipped (after the contract states such a heavy amount to have them there to begin with) infuriates me make me a bad person? I'm probably the queen of :censored: world. Heck, I probably make Lacey's FMiL look like a saint...

[WhiskeyGirl]

I'm right there with you Becky...I'm paying my photographer $100 an hour to be there...what do they need a tip for? I know it was under optional...but still. If I were to have a DJ that's something like $75 to $100 an hour too...look I'm all for tipping. I delivered pizzas for a year and if I didn't have tips I'd have had to find a different job but people did not pay $100 for the delivery fee, they paid fifty cents. I may be incredibly rude, but the only person we're going to tip is going to be the officiant but that's just because he's only charging $35. Miss Manners can bite her tongue...like I've said before she's "Miss" which means she never got married. Sorry vendors, but I just don't see why after paying out the :censored: for you guys to be there, we'd have to tip you too. Especially tips that are 15-20%. That's a TON of money if you paid someone a ton of money to be there in the first place. Lastly, I was an altar girl at a million weddings and the most expensive thing I ever got was a thank you card.

Does the fact that the idea that a vendor would even think about getting tipped (after the contract states such a heavy amount to have them there to begin with) infuriates me make me a bad person? I'm probably the queen of :censored: world. Heck, I probably make Lacey's FMiL look like a saint...

I just wanted to add my two cents worth as well! (Caution: You may read something that offends you! Lol...and you might think I am a B*tch!) I'm right along with you!! We only tipped the hotel that held our reception! The bartender that they supplied royally :censored: up and served free bottles of wine when she shouldn't have!! I stated in the contract that after 7:30 the bottles were to be paid for by the people who wanted it! (My mom's family are a bunch of alcoholics!! I am not paying for them to get total wasted!!) On top of that, she put out a tip jar!! Now thats not right for her to say "Tip me!" to my guests, then for the hotel to put it in the contract that we have to tip her after that!! Needless to say she ended up with a ten dollar tip that night!! (because thats what I saw in her jar!!)

I didn't tip the photographer!! I think getting almost $8000 out of us was enough!!! Forget adding 15% on top of that!! FORGET IT! I didn't tip the DJ, he makes enough money and that is his JOB! I didn't tip the banquet manager, he gets paid to JUST STAND THERE! I could go on and on...but I am sure most people understand where I am coming from!

I guess where I am going here, is that everyone in this world thinks that they should be tipped! And I am also saying that I don't mind giving a tip for the right person (waiters,bell hops, etc.), but if I have to keep a dollar handy just because some one held the door open for me, come on now....I just think it gets a little much!! When you pay someone soooooooooooo much money and they expect more after that!! I know for a fact that they are making money off the service they have already provided!! Send a thank you card, thats what I did!

[rainbowtreat]

I must say I agree with you guys. I am a bank teller and do you think I get tips for dealing with every ones problems or just dealing with there cash and loan payments. I do so much more then what you see when you at a tellers window but I dont get "EXTRA" cash for doing my job. These are these peoples JOBS. They are lucky you hired them in the first place. There are many to choose from.

We have a couple of customers who have bought us lunch before and one that buys us coffe once every couple of weeks because he htinks he is a pain to us lol which he is not. I dont call this a tip, it is them being nice and showing their thanks to us. Even if we could except cash no one has ever offered a tip fo rme doing my JOB.

[Tiggerprincess]

Oh i agree as well........i mean OMG like we dont pay enough!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe people are actually told to tip the vendor(s)!!!!!!!! My wedding costs outta the :censored: for everything!!:realmad:
D.D.

[robindepaula]

As a wedding photographer I don't expect a tip - I've been hired & payed to do my job. The biggest tip that I could receive from a bridal client is a referral - nicest form of flattery!

I have been tipped once by a client (bride was an attorney & groom was an M.D.), but I would never expect it from anyone!! I think I can speak for most other wedding vendors as well - it's not expected.

Robin

[delmar]

-Tips should be EARNED not EXPECTED.
-All vendors would love a thank you card or letter of reference. It is a great reminder of happy clients and let's face it, it'll help them book future clients.

I'm glad you all basically agree. The article was just interesting thats why I thought I'd post it. I PERSONALLY think the 2 biggest items in the article are listed above. I also wanted brides to be aware that some vendors are screwing them (should that have been :censored: ?) and already adding 20% tips into the bill and then expecting more. YUCK! Its reception hall, hotel and caterers that do this most often so beware.

Although I do think vendors that go above and beyond could stand a few extra dollars at the nights end.

[usahgrad]

Thanks for the forwarning. Sorry if it seemed like we dove down your throat. I agree with you, if there is someone who really WOWS me, they will be definitely getting a little bit extra come the end of the night. But it would have to be something above and beyond as you say...

[fstopusa]

I agree with Robin and the others as well. I am a photographer and my JOB is to photograph your wedding when you have hired me. I have included all of the costs that it takes to keep my business operational in my fees. I do not expect, or for that matter, want to be tipped. It somehow always makes me feel less than professional when someone offers to tip me for doing my JOB.


Just my opinion.

[wedbyjean]

I also agree that tips should be earned not expected. I often have brides ask me about who they are supposed to tip and how much. I always give them the analogy of going to a restaurant. It is up to you whether you want to leave a tip and how much to leave.

I would much rather have a letter of recommendation and referrals over a tip any day. The few times I have received a tip (or a gift) were greatly appreciated, but never expected.

However, I don't think that reception halls/caterers who charge a 18%-20% service charge are necessarily "screwing" anyone. If you have a large group go to a restaurant, they automatically add in the tip. The service charge (which should be applied to the food and beverage portion of the bill ONLY, not to the room rental, or linen rentals, etc.) is the same thing. (At least it should be, as long as the hall/caterer gives this money to the staff, and not to their profits).

Tip jars, on the other hand, are wrong. (IMO) You are paying good money for the bartender, not just a minimum wage or restaurant staff wage. If someone WANTS to give the bartender a tip, he/she can do so. But to leave out a tip jar is the same as saying "pay me more." You can have the hall/caterer include "No tip jars" in the contract. It's as simple as handwriting in the sentence and then have both parties initiall it.

[usahgrad]

I was so worried that the vendors on here would respond back with some sort of hateful angry words. I'm so surprised to hear that most of you agree that a tip should not be expected by anyone. That makes me feel much more comfortable about not tipping. Thank you!

[usahgrad]

However, I don't think that reception halls/caterers who charge a 18%-20% service charge are necessarily "screwing" anyone. If you have a large group go to a restaurant, they automatically add in the tip. The service charge (which should be applied to the food and beverage portion of the bill ONLY, not to the room rental, or linen rentals, etc.) is the same thing. (At least it should be, as long as the hall/caterer gives this money to the staff, and not to their profits).

I think we meant that they were "screwing" people when they expected a tip ONTOP of the 18-20% service charge...I have seen it! ouch....now that's screwing people.

[WebLady]

Wow, this is a 'hot' topic ;) Well I have mixed feelings on this one. For me, when I was a photographer my rates were reasonable and I still always gave above and beyond what the couple paid me for, but I never expected a tip ... I did get a few though. I also got a few tips as a coordinator as well.(only $20 here and there) But, once I got a tip at the wedding and then a couple of months later the bride dropped her album and expected me to fix it for free ... "I gave you a tip" she said ... I did it to make her happy but I made her sign a form afterward saying that I wouldn't be liable for damage to the album anymore.

All in all, I don't expect to get tipped but I do think it is a nice thing to consider ... especially for those vendors that stay the whole day with you and those that go the extra mile for you to help make your day extra special.

Once I did a wedding where the couple paid me to be there for 5 hours and things went over and I ended up there for 7 hours trying to make up the time and I didn't charge them for it, I guess I felt bad, but I didn't even get a thank you! AND I didn't even get to eat the whole time! So I kind of did expect something from them.

But if you are paying $8000 for your photographer (as in the example above) I would certainly not tip them. Most of the vendors that charge higher fees like this are usually "proud" of their work and usually don't go above the call of duty. At least that is the attitude I have found in my experience ;)

Here is what I tell people about the tipping thing ...

Did you know that it is customary to tip some of your weddings vendors? Typically, it is the ones that stay through the end of the reception and/or those that go above and beyond to help make your day exceptionally special. Especially those that have done a service for you for little or no charge. However, in some cases vendors will include gratuity in there fees, so you might want to check the contract and/or ask if you are unsure.

Here is a list of the vendors you might consider tipping:

- Your Officiate: A $25-$50 and up donation to their church and invite them to the reception. (If he/she is not charging you for the service, consider giving more)

- Limousine driver/chauffeur: about $20 should suffice (if

- DJ, Musician: $25-$50 (depends on how long they stay and how you felt they did)

- Photographer, Videographer, etc: $25-50 and don't forget assistants, though they should only get about half.

- Servers, Maitre D' & Bartenders: 15%
(or about $1-$2 per person, if a seated service reception)

Again, this all has to do with what you pay them vendor and what exactly they end up doing for you. And of course it depends on your budget. But if you have a few special people that went out of their way to work with you (cut their prices and such) or to give you above and beyond service, it is courteous to at least send a nice thank you card or something.

Best wishes,

~ WebLady :)

[WebLady]

... I often have brides ask me about who they are supposed to tip and how much. I always give them the analogy of going to a restaurant. It is up to you whether you want to leave a tip and how much to leave ...

Now as far as a server at a restaurant, they are expected to be tipped and all too often they get far less than they deserve. What many people don't realize is that most servers only make between $2-$3 per hour so they are working for tips.

If you are going to a full service restaurant you are expected to tip the server approx 15% of your total bill or at least $1 per person ... whichever is greater. Some places add 18% to your bill for groups of 8 or more so look out for that so you don't over tip. Here is an insider tip ... if the server doesn't charge you for your drinks or 'buys' your desert, they are usually expecting you to tip more. But if the service is bad, then you should definitely leave less and/or talk to the manager. If it is great service then you can leave up to 30% or more.

My personal rule is $2 per person or 20% of the bill, whichever is greater. Especially if it is a place I like and I go alot. Now if the server is a bad server then they will be lucky to get 10% ... I have been known to leave 2 cents and a note why, but it would have to be really bad service for me to do that.

I think that everyone should have to wait tables once in your life, it really does give you a different perspective on what they have to deal with everyday. Before I waited tables I was a bad tipper, I use to think "They get paid to do this ... they chose this job" But now that I have been one I know what they go through. But I am quite critical of servers now ... but if they take good care of me then I tip very well ;)

Ok, sorry I got off topic here just had a thought and had to run with it ...

~ WebLady :)

[usahgrad]

I think that everyone should have to wait tables once in your life, it really does give you a different perspective on what they have to deal with everyday.

Or deliver pizzas! I'm a great tipper because I know what kind of :censored: people have to put up with, in a restaurant or out. But as I said before, it's different with the vendors at our wedding. I will tip if the person has gone above and beyond, but not just for doing their job.

Hopefully this doesn't put me on my photographer's bad side, considering she reads this board...lol. :bbmrgreen:

[WebLady]

... as I said before, it's different with the vendors at our wedding. I will tip if the person has gone above and beyond, but not just for doing their job.


This is what I would do ... We all expect a certain amount of 'service' when we pay someone for something. When they go above and beyond that and/or when they have gone out of their way to help you, that is when I think they deserve a tip IMO.

~ WebLady :)

[WebLady]

Or deliver pizzas! I'm a great tipper because I know what kind of :censored: people have to put up with, in a restaurant or out.

I usually tip the pizza 'guy' pretty good if they are on time and such ... but even if not, I will usually still give them a dollor.

I will tip if the person has gone above and beyond, but not just for doing their job. Hopefully this doesn't put me on my photographer's bad side, considering she reads this board...lol. :bbmrgreen:

I don't know who she is but I am sure she will understand and not take offence. Most vendors don't expect to be tipped anyway, it is just a nice bonus for doing an exceptional job ;)

~WebLady :)

[usahgrad]

I usually tip the pizza 'guy' pretty good if they are on time and such ... but even if not, I will usually still give them a dollor.

Just remember, chances are, if they're late, it's because they're running behind at the store and it has absolutely nothing to do with the driver. HOWEVER, there are some drivers you can just tell that they're late because they were screwing around. By the way...mmm, pizza sounds good! :drool:

[WebLady]

Just remember, chances are, if they're late, it's because they're running behind at the store and it has absolutely nothing to do with the driver. HOWEVER, there are some drivers you can just tell that they're late because they were screwing around
Yeah, you are right there ... and I have seen 'those' drivers too ;)

By the way...mmm, pizza sounds good! :drool:
Yeah! Screw the chicken I was gonna make, I want some pizza. But I I guess I need to make the chicken *pouting*

~ WebLady :)

[usahgrad]

Yeah! Screw the chicken I was gonna make, I want some pizza. But I I guess I need to make the chicken *pouting*

I am DYING to make some homemade stuffed crust! But I have to go out and get new pills first as I've run out of mine and can't eat my pizza without it. Not to brag, but I make the BEST stuffed crust pizza under the sun! YUM! :drool:

[ikkin510]

Shesh, we talk about pizza a lot....I'm hungry now!!! And stuffed crust, I haven't had that in SO LONG! I may show up on your door step for some Kelli.

[WebLady]

I have never made a homemade stuff crust ... sounds good :)

~ WebLady :)

[usahgrad]

Hehe...we hijacked like three different threads talking about pizza...we're bad! LOL!

[WebLady]

Hehe...we hijacked like three different threads talking about pizza...we're bad! LOL!

*hehe* Yeah, I forget how that started (it might have been me :bbredface: ) ... hopefully the OP won't hit us with a chair :chair:

~ WebLady :)

[dawnscake]

I know, I'm a little late, but I'm gonna steal the post back! :-)
I just wanted to add as a vendor who runs the business out of her home, that I am able to keep my prices low. I've had brides tell me that I quoted them much lower prices than any other place. One bride said that for her to have her cake made at another bakery it would have cost her over $1000 more! I always try to go above and beyond, am willing to work with any budget and have traveled up to 200 miles one way to deliver a cake. I don't expect a tip, a nice thank you card and comments for my web site are great! I recieved my first tip a week ago and I have to say that it made me feel wonderful knowing that this bride thought enough of me and my work to do that. I know that there are many businesses out there that as soon as you mention wedding they up the price by at least 50%! Just remember that there are others who remember what it's like to plan a wedding, how expensive things are and who try to give you everything you want plus more. If any person involved in your wedding has done an outstanding job, let them know! Whether it be a tip, a small gift or a thank you card with a refrence!

[usahgrad]

I was talking to my photographer about this, mainly because I know they hop on this site and I didn't want them to think I was totally anti-tipper. She explained to me that a thank you letter for doing a great job was worth so much more to them than a tip because they could use that for future reference for other brides. This was really impressive to me and got me thinking. I think it's true...ya, Ben Franklin (big tipper) can get you places for a little bit, but references are really the fertilizer to a good company's seed. So I decided I would make sure to send thank you notes to my vendors as well...maybe even along with a tip.

[AngelinLove]

Well, I guess it's time for my two cents. I have thought about thsi tipping issue before and still had not made any decisions, but after reading what everyone had to say...I think I have. My "cake lady" as I like to call her will be driving like 200 miles to deliver my cake and is only charging like $35.00, so I will tip her. My DJ team is costing me $1350.00, and I am sure that they are going to be excellant, which is why I hired them, but come on $1350.00, they are not getting a tip..plus I am feeding them a meal that is costing me $70.00 per person, so there is a good tip if you ask me. The same for my photographer...he is reasonably priced and is driving from a about 45 min-and hour away, but I am also feeding him a $70.00 meal..so there is his tip..sorry if that sounds wrong, but hey. As for the caterer, they are through the venue and already charging 18% gratuity and we are doing buffet, so they definitely will not be getting a tip. The bartender is through the venue and unless he WOWS me he won't get one either. I have agreed to allow tips for the valet service, but not a jar, this is because I know that people expect to tip the valet. All in all there will be no tips...because as most of you ladies have already stated...they are costing us an arm and a leg, we could have went somewhere else, so they should be happy they are getting out patronage anyways, and they are only doing their jobs. I am a Children's Protective Services Worker, all I do is babysit adults all day and listen to their whining, moaning and :censored: ing all day...do I get a tip..no because I am just doing my job!!!! I appreciate everything that they do...don't get me wrong, but I just feel that there is a limit to what we can spend. We will definitely tip those that earn it.

[WebLady]

I don't think anyone has said that you have to tip all your vendors or that you really HAVE to tip them at all. Yes, many vendors out there are quite expensive and most of the ones that charge higher fees have included some sort of tip in their somewhere ... so I wouldn't tip them either.

Feeding your vendors that will be at the reception is almost always expected. When I was a wedding photographer I had it in my contract that the couple would either provide food for me and my assistant and/or they would alot time for a break so that we could get our own. If you were working at your job all day and you didn't get a chance to eat, I bet you would be pretty cranky and probably would not be able to do your job that well. I don't think many people think that way about wedding vendors. And if you happen to be having a $70 per plate dinner then that would more than cover the food and the tip IMP ;)

But like 'AngelinLove' said, for those vendors that are going out of their way to work with you and/or go above and beyond what you pay them for, I think a small tip is just a nice thing to consider. Whether it is in the form of a nice thank you letter that they can use to further their business or a monetary tip or both, that is up to you and what you think of their services.

When I got married the minister was the only one I tipped. As for it being their 'job' ... in my experiences, it is quite common for people in the service industry get tips in one form or another.

I tip my hair stylist, even though that is his job and I pay him. I tip him because he does a great job and I have been going to him for a while and he knows how I like things and he gives me a better price than he gives his new clients. When I got my last tattoo, I tipped the artist, even though that is his job and I paid him $350. He did an awesome job. You tip the porter at a hotel, even though that is their job and they get paid to do it :wink: It is all related to me ... it just depends on what you pay for the services and what you actually get when it comes down to the day of the service. I don't tip the pizza guy if they are late ;)

Best wishes to all!