Scared Silly

[sprinkles8986]

After being with the love of my life, Richard, for 3 and a half years he popped the question. Now it is all hitting me. I am starting to realize the ramifications of saying yes. Not that I'm saying I am unhappy with this at all, I am just scared. Am I the only young newly engaged chick to be scared silly???

[Jenn060306]

Absolutly not!
I have been terrified at times too! I love my FH more then anything. We have been together over 6 years, lived together for 2 years now, and i still get scared. There is alot that will be happening in your life between now and you're wedding. It can all be very over whelming.
Try to figure out what is making you scared. Then take each day at a time.
If you're worried about planning the wedding, give yourself lots of time to do it. It will be 18 months from the day i got engaged to the day i get married. There has been lots of time so i'm not rushed in making my plans.
If you worried about making the commitment, talk to you fiance about it. I was scared that one day he might decide he no longer loves me (this happened to his parents). We talked about it, and still talk about being scared. But we both have faith in eachother and ourselves.
Yesterday i was out doing Christmas shopping and a sales clerk was telling us that the spring collection would begin arriving on Jan 9th. I swear my heart started to race as i began thinking that with spring clothing comes warm weather which means that it will be closer to my wedding.

All the girls here are amazing! Everyone has great advice and are so willing to help! We'll try to help ease your nerves!

[CindySue]

I think everyone goes through a scared/anxious stage.
Like Jenn, I had (and occassionally still do :bbredface: ) issues with him deciding he made a mistake. That he didnt love me, that he could do better. Before in realtionships, I was always "there till something better came along" That and my mother had her part in my low self esteem.
Well I took time off from dating, learned alot about myself and built myself up. I dont NEED a man to be happy, I dont NEED a man to support me. If Im with someone its because I chose to be.
Then I meet the man of my dreams, the love of my life. AND.....some of those insecurities creep back up. "What will I do to screw this up?" "He can do sooo much better than me."......You get my point.
Communication has helped us a lot. He can even tell when Im having one of my "moments" and knows just what to say to reassure me.

[LaceyinPgh]

I don't know if I would use the word scared but every now and then I get smacked with this anxious reality feeling...this is going to be the rest of my life. Am I ready for this? I could not be happier in my life but sometimes that big realization of the magnitude of the choice you just made can be a little much. Just step back and try to relax. Think of all the fabulous times that you have had and all the more to come.

Planning a wedding is scary, frustrating, confusing, and insanity inducing. Try to keep your humor and just go with it.

[A-M 9802]

I feel exactly the same way scared silly, but i guess the way i overcome that way of feeling is to have my FH reassure me it seems like everyday sometimes that he is positively, absolutley sure he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, because everyone knows that women have their hormonal times and life may not be so sweet at that moment and feelings get tossed around 1st we want to get married then we don't then were not sure but i'm sure that everything will turn out and you'll have a beautiful wedding and it will be that best day of your life!

[bnd94]

I have been with my FH for almost 12 years now. He asked me to marry him 8 years ago this xmas! We never set a date and it was long lost and forgotten about and everything has been great. Now that we have decided to tie the knot I have the same feelings you girls are having all the time. I have been told so many times that it is normal but it is still scary! It's good to know I am not the only one that feels this way!:D

[Tiggerprincess]

No......I am 20 yrs old......i was engaged.....i was chicken too..I loved him and i knew i wanted to spend The rest of my life with this man!!! But i was scared...It comeS with the territory..Every new bride to be has jitters.....Here you are embarking on a new phase of your life and the future seems uncertain,,,, Always remember throughout the good and bad times you've always got your man and best friend there to stand by and support you....Good luck sweetie......You only just begun...
D.D.

[usahgrad]

I have to agree with you guys; I'm scared that someday he's going to fall out of love with me and then regret the decision he made to marry me. Of course, he very heatedly refutes that that will ever happen.

What scares me even more is that he'll leave me for reasons that he can't avoid. I know this is nothing more than a manifestation of childhood insecurities, but my father and only grandfather passed away when I was little. The only other man who was involved in my life was my half-brother and he got thrown in jail. So, it scares me to death that at some point, Jason's not going to be here anymore either. It's not that I couldn't deal with it, it's just that I don't want to have to.

[rainbowtreat]

I have to say I am differnt on this one. I am not scared at all. But my FH is I think. He hasn't come out and said it but I can sense it. He is scared that he will not be good enough for me or that he wont be bale to provide for us like he would like to.or that it wont last forever. It will. I have waited for this man for a long time. I love him os much that it doens't matter if we are married or not I will never leave him. I know things happen and we can't see the future but I vow to make this work no matter what. Even my ex husband told me , there will always be bumbs you just have to work through them. Talking to me about my and Nihcolas. He now sees what went wrong with us and he is sorry for his part of it. He says he still loves me in a way and always will but is glad to see that I am back to the person he fell in love with in the first place. I can't wait to be married to Nicholas. It will be the greatest feeling and I am not scared of what might come at all.

I can understand how you could be scared though.

[sprinkles8986]

thanks to all of ya'll. I feel some what comforted. I am so scared. I now have 17 mos and 28 days to suck it all up and get it all together. I can do it...:cool:

[WebLady]

Marriage is a big step in your life and it is suppose to be forever so that alone can be a frightening thought. You have to look into what is giving you these feelings. Is it the wedding itself? Is it that you are not sure of your FH? Ask yourself the "Hard Questions" if all that works out then you should be good to go ;) (Here is a link to the thread about the "Hard Questions" - http://www.forums.onewed.com/showthread.php?t=394 )

My DH and I were together for 6 years before we got married but I still had those feelings of "What if this and What if that?" and that little voice in my head saying "Is this for real?"

I had been married before (for 6 years) and that one ended badly and looking back on it now, I can see why. (mostly because I was 18) Now I know that my DH is SO nothing like my ex, but I still get that little spark of doubt every now and then. (mostly when he bugs me ;))

But I have finally come to the feeling that each day with him is a gift. We have a wonderful love and I cherish every moment. If for some reason it ends then I will be devastated but I would get over it in time. I don't see that happening and I don't want to live my life with that worry. I prefer to be positive. Too often if you think something bad will happen then it does.

I try not to let my past experiences and the experiences of others put doubt in my mind. I love my husband and I am happy to be his wife and I wouldn't change it for the world.

"Dance like no body's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like no body's listening; live like it's heaven on earth" -- Mark Twain

"Love as if you have never been hurt ... that is the only way to really experience what love can bring" -- Unknown

"Don’t rob yourself of the joys of today and tomorrow by dwelling on the possibility of pain somewhere down the line" -- Unknown

"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" -- Alfred Lord Tennyson

"Each day is a gift ... Love like there is no tomorrow" -- Unknown

Best wishes,

~ WebLady :)

[Jenn060306]

I might just be havin a moment here. :bbredface:
But what does DH stand for?

Thanks

[WebLady]

I might just be havin a moment here. :bbredface:
But what does DH stand for?

Thanks

DH = Dear Husband ;) ... took me a while to get all of them myself ;)

Here, I posted a new thread with common ones ... http://www.forums.onewed.com/showthread.php?p=8066#post8066

~ WebLady :)

[usahgrad]

I wasn't quite sure what it was either...I figured something along the same lines as Dear Husband...but then there's always Domesticated Husband (ok, some of us can't be that lucky) or Dingbat (or insert your own D-insult: there are a few applicable ones :) ) Husband (which I'm sure we'll all feel now and then)...

[WebLady]

...I figured something along the same lines as Dear Husband...but then there's always Domesticated Husband (ok, some of us can't be that lucky) or Dingbat (or insert your own D-insult: there are a few applicable ones :) ) Husband (which I'm sure we'll all feel now and then)...

I hear ya ;)

~ WebLady :)

[CindySue]

(or insert your own D-insult: there are a few applicable ones :) ) Husband (which I'm sure we'll all feel now and then)...

Im not going to say what Brian thought DH and FH stood for........:bbredface:

[usahgrad]

Im not going to say what Brian thought DH and FH stood for........:bbredface:

I can see where that's going as far as FH, but what could he contort DH to be? Maybe I shouldn't ask...

[WhiskeyGirl]

I'm thinking along those lines of da*n husband...lol...but thats not mine!! He's in the dear category! Lol!

[Tiggerprincess]

You guys are histarical!!!!I would dare say what i'd probably put in frot of "husband" Sometimes i feel that way!! :lol: Anyways, i was wondering what DH stood for myself...Well, hope you guys and your men are doin good......TTFN..
D.D.