In Laws

[siria]

Anyone having any probs with their inlaws? My wedding day was nearly ruined b/c of my husband's parents and extended family...

[bnd94]

I don't have any problems with my inlaws. I am sorry to hear that your wedding day was almost ruined! What did they do? If you don't mind me asking:D

[siria]

Where do I begin...It would take several pages for me to tell the entire story, so I'll stick to our wedding. My in laws began our wedding reception by making a big deal about where we decided to seat some of my husband's family (we had arranged seating). The reception line was very tense, as they would not even make eye contact with me. They were seated at our head table and his mother made rude comments about everything, from the meal to the speeches. They then pulled my husband aside and told him they felt as though they were being treated like animals. Then after dinner (we had a very formal wedding, in a beautiful ballroom), several of their friends showed up in jeans. We had an open bar, and of course that is where they spent most of the night. I spent my wedding night crying. It was horrible.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I'm sorry to hear that your inlaws messed with your day so much!! I also have problems with my inlaws....well My sister inlaws!! I know where you are coming from...I hope things will get better for you!!

[bnd94]

Where do I begin...It would take several pages for me to tell the entire story, so I'll stick to our wedding. My in laws began our wedding reception by making a big deal about where we decided to seat some of my husband's family (we had arranged seating). The reception line was very tense, as they would not even make eye contact with me. They were seated at our head table and his mother made rude comments about everything, from the meal to the speeches. They then pulled my husband aside and told him they felt as though they were being treated like animals. Then after dinner (we had a very formal wedding, in a beautiful ballroom), several of their friends showed up in jeans. We had an open bar, and of course that is where they spent most of the night. I spent my wedding night crying. It was horrible.

Oh that is awful!! It is so common for there to be assigned seats I would think they would have expected it. Especially since you had a formal wedding! Don't let them got to you. Some people are just so miserable in life that they aren't happy unless they make everyone around them miserable too. I am so sorry to hear you cried on your wedding night:( I hope your husband is supportive of you. If you ever need anything feel free to ask any of us. You can do all the venting you want and we will always be here for ya!

BTW on a much happier note. Do you have anby pics from your wedding? We LOVE pictures!:D

[LaceyinPgh]

My fmil is an utter :censored: when it comes to me. She goes out of her way to be rude and nasty. On top of that she is a socila climbing expert who cannot believe her son is marrying me when he could do better. So I ignore her. I can't help it that she is a :censored: . I have no desire to even acknowledge taht she exists in my universe. I know that I will never make her happy. She is a miserable individual who drowns her sorrows in the bottom of a bottle so that she at least has some control over something in her life. Her husband is a perverted dirty old man, her children have all grown up and left home. So she takes out her frustration and anger on those around her who are content in their lives.

What I am trying to say is to not let them bother you. They sound like asses. Don't waste your time with them. Live your life the way that you want to live your life with your new hubby. Ignore the rest. Spend your time with people who love and support the both of you. Limit your time with the in laws. That is what we do.

Example: My FH and I decided that we wanted to stay home on Christmas so we invited our friends and family to our house this year. His parents called irrate that we would dare go against the tradition of sitting at their house all day. To top it all off, we didn't even get their approval to have Christmas at out house. How dare we as two responsible mature adults decide what we want to do with our day off, right? So they won't be joining us, they will be alone on Christmas but everyone else that we invited will be here sharing the day with us and celebrating the holiday while having fun. Neither one of us are too upset about it.

[siria]

Wow!! It's nice to know I'm not alone. Util recently this has just been such a source of stress for my husband and I. We now stand united, but it's still very difficult on me. Somehow this isn't how I imagined things.

It's really nice to know there is support out there. In my quest to find support I started a forum with that in mind. www.monsterinlaws.com. If anyone else needs support or venting, come check it out.

[WebLady]

Fortunately, I don't have problems with my in-laws, they are wonderful! My problems are with MY family, mostly my mother. Don't get me wrong, I love her but she gets on my nerves on a pretty regular basis. There are good days and bad days, but I am just trying not to let her bother me ... it doesn't always work. There was alot of drama for me in trying to plan a healthier Christmas dinner and they have fought me the whole way. So next year we are having dinner at our house and if they don't want to come then that is fine.

Well, I am sorry for trying to make this about me. I understand how this kind of thing can make you feel. I am with the other ladies and just try not to let them get to you. I know it can often be easier said than done though. You and your husband have each other and have to build your new life together. You need loving and supportive people in your life, not drama.

It is so sad that this kind of thing is so common. I wish the best for you and for all the ladies dealing with these types of things.

Happy Holidays!

~ WebLady :)

[CindySue]

Im with you, WebLady......Inlaws are great but my mother is a real :censored: . Or at least she is to me most of the time. Shes in Florida right now working so i dont have to deal with her much. I love her but she is incrediably selfish.

[usahgrad]

The only problems I have with my FMiL is that she's slightly controlling. However, as far as the wedding goes...she took over catering and is saving us about 50%, so I'm not complaining too much. After we're married, the claws might come out...:bbmrgreen:

[LaceyinPgh]

I want to add that my fmil is a pain in the buttocks. And, my ffil really gets under my skin too. But, Sean has two sisters and one brother in law along with 2 grandparents. I couldn't ask for a better set of in laws there. They are generous, caring, kind, loving, and just plain nice people. So, I got some bad but I really got some good too. Sean on the other hand just got a whole lot of crazy in his future in laws.

[usahgrad]

Sean on the other hand just got a whole lot of crazy in his future in laws.

I think Jason got the raw end of the deal when it comes to my family too. We're really a bunch of wackos! The best part is, he knows I know it and isn't afraid to say something about it...lol

[WebLady]

I feel so bad sometimes when my DH has to deal with my family drama. I know that it upsets him to see that they upset me. (which in some weird way is nice, but) I know it could be worse but I still wish it was better.

~ WebLady :)

[usahgrad]

I feel so bad sometimes when my DH has to deal with my family drama. I know that it upsets him to see that they upset me. (which in some weird way is nice, but) I know it could be worse but I still wish it was better.

I am the same way. My FH hates it when what they do bugs me and it bugs me a lot. He tries to be helpful and supportive, but he's getting to the end of his chain. I'm surprised he hasn't said anything to them...of course, I do think he's avoiding them like the plague. Oh well...

[WebLady]

I am the same way. My FH hates it when what they do bugs me and it bugs me a lot. He tries to be helpful and supportive, but he's getting to the end of his chain. I'm surprised he hasn't said anything to them...of course, I do think he's avoiding them like the plague. Oh well...
Yeah, my DH has said that if he hears my family make some stupid comment that he will say something. There is a part of me that wants him to and the other part of me just doesn't want to make things worse. He also avoids my family (mostly my mother, he gets along fine with my dad) as much as he can. He only sees them on holidays.

~ WebLady :)

[usahgrad]

My FH's work has wondrous time...he hasn't been up to see my mother with me since last Christmas. Everytime we plan to go up, he ends up with a million and a half tires to carve. He may even have to work Christmas Eve this year (which he usually does when it's on a weekday, I was excited because it was on a weekend and I didn't think he'd have to). He hasn't said anything about it one way or another...I think it's because he doesn't want to disappoint me, which he won't, but he thinks he will. GRR! Car Shows!:censored:

Anyways, back to family, I kind of wish he would say something too. My mother adores him, so I think it may help, but I'm worried that it might make things worse too...I don't know what to do...sometimes I wish I was still back down in Texas...FAR FAR AWAY from the problems they have...I guess that's why we're family though, so we can support them through the drama.

[WebLady]

... I don't know what to do...sometimes I wish I was still back down in Texas...FAR FAR AWAY from the problems they have ...

My DH and I have been planning to move to Florida one day and I keep wishing it was sooner so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. But I know that 'running' from it won't help and there is sure to be something even when we do move away.

So I am just trying to not let there issues bother me and/or affect my life as much. It isn't easy but I am trying.

~ WebLady :)

[usahgrad]

Good luck to you! If you're family is anything like mine, I know you'll need it! :)

[WebLady]

Good luck to you! If you're family is anything like mine, I know you'll need it! :)

I hear ya ... :goodluck: you too.

~ WebLady :)