RSVP - Is it Rude To..

[Viajar]

Is it rude to stress the importance of RSVPing for an event that requires a head count for food purposes?

Like if on the back of the RSVP card a little note that said something like - an accurate account of guests planning to attend is necessary..

Or is this something that you just let people spread the word about.

[WebLady]

I don't know that I would add anything to the invite or response card about it. But I'd definitely spread the word through friends and family.

I think it is an important thing and rude of people not to RSVP.

This is another thing you could make a point about on a personal wedding website.

[shelbyoliver]

I think you should give them a date and plenty of time to respond..say three weeks before your wedding. That should give you a week to chase down non responders.

Say something like

the favor of your reply is requested by September 1st 2007 - for a more formal wedding

Please reply to our invitation by september 1st 2007. or something similar for a less formal wedding

[WebLady]

Say something like

the favor of your reply is requested by September 1st 2007 - for a more formal wedding

Please reply to our invitation by september 1st 2007. or something similar for a less formal wedding
That is pretty much what is common on a respond card ;)

The favor of a reply is requested
by August 16, 2007.
M__________________________
____Accepts with pleasure
____Declines with regrets

[RevMatty]

As an Ex-Chef, I do know we do make room for a slight error in a head count when preparing food. At least where I worked we did. We always expected 5% more then what was counted. Just to be on the safe side. That way we had enough food, but also we understood the possibility of it working in reverse, less people showing up.
My adivice is don't go telling them directly in the RSVP card. Just ask them politely to RSVP by a certain date, then let the kitchen know. Not to soon but not to late. You tell them to soon and they order all this food, and next thing you know a blizzard, shuts out half your guests, but to late, they might not have time to order extra supplies if need be. I'd suggest at the latest 1 1/2 weeks before the wedding, for a final head count. And if something should change, let the cook now a.s.a.p.

[WebLady]

Yeah, even when you get the headcount you might want to add a hair more extra food just in case. Most places will pack up leftovers for you (or they should, you paid for it) so it is better to have a little more than not to have enough.

But in the case of sit down meals, you may need a more accurate plate count. So like I said before; you can spread the word about how important it is for everyone to RSVP, but I wouldn't add anything to the response card about it.

So if your caterer wants the final headcount 2 weeks prior, then ask for RSVP's by 3 weeks before (like Shelby said) then you can make calls to the stragglers.

[NicksBride]

I would say almost a month ahead of your wedding is a good idea. We did a month and it gave us plenty of time to talk to the caterer and call people we hadn't heard from. as said befoer most caterers do allow for error such as extras or more then enough, they all understand the RSVP does not always come in. Discuss with your caterer what they do if extra people show up... etc.