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View Full Version : Wedding gown shopping: a learning experience


neebelung
05-27-2007, 10:03 AM
I was out and about in Jax Beach yesterday (waiting for the jeweler to call me to say my ring was ready to pick up), and I noticed a sign for one of the bridal shops I’d been wanting to check out.

Thinking “Oh, it’s Saturday afternoon, they’ll be super busy… I’ll just see if I can browse a bit…” I decided to check it out.

Luckily they weren’t very busy, and I sat down and chatted a bit with the ladies in the shop. I explained to them the sort of feel and theme we’re going for, and based on that, they selected two lines (both of which I’d looked at before, and liked) for me to peruse.

I marked a couple of gowns I liked, and showed them to the consultant. She gently cautioned me against pretty much everything I was looking at, because they “fit like lingerie.” At first I was rather miffed, thinking she merely wanted to sell me a more expensive dress. But she went so far as to point out that in some photos, you could see the model’s bellybutton. EEK! Point being, if you can see the lumps and bumps of the 20 year old, size zero model in those dresses, with professional lighting, photo editing, etc… then the lumps and bumps of a far-from-size-zero woman in her mid-30’s will be far more evident.

*sigh*

She asked if I wanted to try a few things on since I was there… I argued that I was unprepared, didn’t have the right bra on, etc… but she had plenty of “proper undergarments.” She pulled a few dresses that just weren’t “me.” I was disappointed, and didn’t want to try any of them on… but I remember reading in several of the magazines to go gown shopping with an open mind… that many times you’ll walk in with one set of expectations, and walk out with something totally different. So I gave in, and tried on the first dress.

I was so dead-set on simple, clean, flowy, wispy dresses… no beading, no lace (well, one had lace), no structure, just simplicity, and here I was trying on this very structured, full-skirted (well, A-line), strapless gown.

Let me just say…. There’s a REASON for all that structure, that intricate beading, the ruching and strategically placed seaming: because when you’re covered head-to-toe in white silk, it gives you definition and more importantly SHAPE. I had no idea what a difference those details could make. Each dress I would try on, she would point out – “Bust… waist…. Hips… women have these things, and (these details) make the most of them.” Seriously… I had no idea it was possible for me to look like I have a 22” waist, but the way some of these dresses are made, it was incredible…

(not to mention, all those pretty details make you feel.. well… like a BRIDE!)

And she chose very lightweight, sweep-train or chapel-train gowns, so they were still comfortable, I could still move around, sit, turn, etc… without feeling like I had an albatross strapped to my butt.

I was really pleased with the whole learning experience. And I’m glad I kept an open mind, and allowed her to really HELP me. She was realistic about my body size and shape, and really managed to select things that made the most of what I have.

So it’s back to the drawing board for me and my gown search. In reality, I don’t even need to ORDER my gown for about another 8-10 months. So she suggested just checking back every few weeks (since they get new stuff in all the time) and then around the first of next year, we’ll really try to start narrowing down choices.

OHHH… and about the veil…. Again, something I’d been kinda dead-set against. I just didn’t think I ‘needed’ a veil. That it was too formal. But again, she made a valid point in this regard:

“There are many occasions where you get to wear a great dress, and look fabulous… prom, parties, formal dinners… but there’s only one time you get to be “The Bride.” So why not LOOK like one.” She was right… before she clipped the little veil on (just a fingertip length, scalloped veil on a comb, tucked into the back of my hair), I was just a woman standing there in a great dress. And once she put the veil on, I was transformed into a BRIDE. Silly how something so simple can make such a huge impact.

KMS
05-27-2007, 12:29 PM
I'm glad that you kept an open mind and visited a bridal shop with really great employees. How the woman handled your situation probably made all of the difference. There are some bad bridal shops out there! I was also amazed at how some of the more structured dresses made my waist look small! I didn't end up getting one of those, but I'm hoping that I can get the same effect with some sort of structured underclothing, ya know. I totally get the whole veil thing! I was standing there with the dress on that I was about to purchase and the lady put the matching veil on me. I looked in the mirror and all of a sudden, I was a bride!

neebelung
05-27-2007, 01:09 PM
It was so funny, because at first, I just thought she was totally disregarding anything I had said to her... I really did. And when she kept insisting I try something on, I thought she was just trying to pressure me into a sale. But I think she knew WORDS weren't going to convey what I needed to know... I had to see it for myself. :D

Nekochanpurr
05-27-2007, 01:16 PM
THank you sooooooooo much for this information!! thats something i'm unfortunately worried about. This will really.. REALLY help me pick something out! That and a sister who doesn't worry about telling me when i look like a fatty, lol.

KMS
05-27-2007, 01:17 PM
As they say, actions speak louder than words!!

JennaCanada
05-27-2007, 02:38 PM
I am glad that there are consultants like that still around. You are right when you say so many of them just want to make a sale! I find most of the women in the store here work in Bridal stores because they got the job that was advertised in the newspaper. They don't take you and your body into consideration AT ALL and they don't ask your needs/wants/theme of wedding unless they are bored making small talk. That store sounds amazing!

SerendipityCrafts
05-27-2007, 05:22 PM
Quite a few of us didn't get the dress that we thought we would because it didn't suit our body type. It is wonderful that you found someone who knows how to flatter any body type with the "right" dress.

neebelung
05-27-2007, 08:43 PM
THank you sooooooooo much for this information!! thats something i'm unfortunately worried about. This will really.. REALLY help me pick something out! That and a sister who doesn't worry about telling me when i look like a fatty, lol.

Don't take your sister with you to the first session... I told her I felt odd that I was in there without friends, etc... to help me. She said "DON'T!" She said seriously until you've narrowed it down to just a few dresses you love, don't bring anyone with you (as their opinions only serve to confuse you). And I can see that happening (especially if more than one friend came along and they had different taste!)

Nekochanpurr
05-27-2007, 10:26 PM
Don't take your sister with you to the first session... I told her I felt odd that I was in there without friends, etc... to help me. She said "DON'T!" She said seriously until you've narrowed it down to just a few dresses you love, don't bring anyone with you (as their opinions only serve to confuse you). And I can see that happening (especially if more than one friend came along and they had different taste!)

Haha, thanks for the info! Probably a good idea.. >.< However, i'll probably still bring my mommy.. Shes easy going, lol.

jeni740
05-28-2007, 12:26 PM
Wow that sounds like a great bridal shop I wish we had one of those here, I bought my dress and loved it and then when I went back in with my sister for the BM dresses the lady said I looked fat in the dress I already bought!!!! I weigh 132 now I know that is not a size 0, but good lord why weren't they honest the first time around when I bought it :(

WebLady
05-28-2007, 02:37 PM
Glad you had a good experience, sounds like you went to a great shop with a wonderful consultant that knew her stuff :)

I always tell brides that not every dress will look great on every bride and not every gown looks the same on the rack as it might on you.

t is amazing what the right dress can do for you (in general) and how just wearing it can make you feel good; like a bride :)

Bradsgirl
05-28-2007, 05:57 PM
Probabley the best thing to find is a store that the employees don't work off commission. At my work we make hourly so I don't push dresses on anyone, I just want them to be happy customers. It also does help to at least try what the consultants have to suggest...we see people in dresses all day long and can pretty much "size people up" for what dresses will most likely work well. Kudos to you for doing that and congrats on finding some great dresses!!!!

(From a consultants point of view):D

annasus
05-28-2007, 07:28 PM
Wow. How lucky for you! A similar thing happend to me. The only thing about my dress is what I "wanted" is the fact that it's raw silk. Otherwise, it's way fancier than I thought.

I couldn't get into the veil though. No matter which one I tried on, I felt like
"a ghost bride".

You're lucky to have so long to dress hunt. I ended up buying the first dress I bought AND I happend to be alone. I just went in to check things out, and ended up trying on some sample sale dresses. I loved it!!! I was sad to end my dress shopping, but, it was perfect. Besides, if I had seen a few I liked it would have stressed me out. It has taken me months to decide on Flower Girl dresses.

Susanna

Nekochanpurr
05-28-2007, 11:22 PM
Probabley the best thing to find is a store that the employees don't work off commission. At my work we make hourly so I don't push dresses on anyone, I just want them to be happy customers. It also does help to at least try what the consultants have to suggest...we see people in dresses all day long and can pretty much "size people up" for what dresses will most likely work well. Kudos to you for doing that and congrats on finding some great dresses!!!!

(From a consultants point of view):D

Do you work at a chain or a family owned sort of thing? I think Davids does commision.. Right? Haha, i'm nosey.

neebelung
05-29-2007, 07:28 AM
Yeah, I think the shop I went to, the consultants are non-commission, because she made the point of telling me that anyone there could assist me when I come back (though I'd definitely go back to see her).