Grrrr-overload

[Mrs.J.C.M.]

well...we are getting married aug 12 2006, my ring is beautifull, everyone is happy...my mother has decided that the most important part of this wedding is what her friends think!!! she is all about status. we had a nice meeting with myself, FH, his parents and my mom and stepdad (my real dad will be there but isnt involved). at this meeting my parents (i refer to my mom and her husband as my parents) have generously offered to foot 2/3 of the wedding. we made it very clear that we want a simple wedding with the omission of any religion. my mom is now holding their offer of paying over my head, its no longer about us getting married. am not impressed with my mom and the way she is acting. pls help if anyone is having similar issues.

[LaceyinPgh]

The only thing you can do is say, "Thanks but no thanks. We are going to do this on our own." That will either get rid of her or scare her into doing what you want. This is your wedding, you get to be in control.

[bnd94]

Welcome to the boards!!

I am not having a similar sitiation but this is one of the reasons why we wanted to pay for wedding ourselves. Maybe if you sat down with your mom and explained again how you want a simple wedding and if she still doesn't go along with what you want I would tell her to keep her money and you will pay for it yourself. I bet she would change her mind then;) I hope you get the wedding you want!!

[WhiskeyGirl]

We had a similar problem with my now husbands father for our wedding this past July. When it came down to it, we said "this is OUR wedding and we will do OUR wedding as WE like! People can seat themselves! People can walk! These people won't die and if they stop talking to you because of it, these people can go to hell!" He wasn't pleased with our attitudes but he got over it! And yes he still footed 3/4 of the bill! You have to put your foot down and do what is right and comfortable for you!! We found out early on in the process of planning our wedding that if you don't, people will continue to walk all over you! And I agree with Lacey! Either it will straighten her out or you need to re-evaluate if you really want her to make these demands on you about YOUR wedding, and end up planning the day to fit your mothers requirements. To me it would be a clear choice to tell my mom to butt out and let me plan MY wedding MY way!! Hope this helps! Best of luck!

~CB~

[CindySue]

Im with Becky, we are paying for everything ourselves. We have had to change up a few things because of people complaining, but it wasnt anything too serious.
Is your mother trying to completely take over the planning? From what Ive heard moms tend to do that. But I agree with Lacey, tell her that if her paying means that she going to decide how things are done, then yall would rather do it yourselves.

[usahgrad]

My mother held a religious ceremony vs. a civil one over our heads. But other than that, she's really let me take the reigns. We're paying for the small stuff that we can pick up here and there and have picked up some bigger stuff when we could. When it came to the officiant, it was like she was paying for the whole wedding! So we found a simple compromise; we found a minister who said that we could do whatever we wanted at our wedding. It pulled religion into it for my mother and gave us the ability to have whatever type of religion stuff we wanted in our ceremony (with the exception of sacrificing a goat--we're not allowed to do anything satanic, and I was so looking forward to getting the goat's blood out of my dress!). Maybe you should talk to your Mom about what she wants, tell her what you want, and find amicable agreements, or pay for your wedding yourself. :)

The only reason I didn't opt for option two is that the reason we're having the big wedding thing is for our parents and family. If it were him and I, we'd be in Gatlinburg at a $50 vow, champagne, and a boot out the door chapel. :)