Any Wannabe Brides out there? (Plus a vent from a newbie - please be nice)

[EnchantedRose]

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and I am just dying to get engaged, etc. It seems all my friends have met and married within a year or two and we're still sitting here. My friend just got engaged today (with a huge Asscher ring - my dream ring!) and I am beside myself. I am happy for her and all my friends but I am just devastated and jealous for myself.

It is not a committment issue at all, it is a money issue. I come from a middle class family and he comes from poverty. He worked two jobs through college and didn't get a dime from either parent. He has student loans that are never ending. We both make under 40 k - him making slightly more than I do now, and money just isn't here. He has all those student loans and I am a teacher and get paid very little, even for a teacher. (A friend I graduated with is a teacher in another district and gets paid 11k a year more than I do, same age, same subject, level, etc.) We have been without a contract for over a year and are being loaded with more and more work, supposedly 32 kids in a class next year!. In the midst of all this, I tutor before school, sell Avon and work at a gym 3 nights a week to make some extra money (not much, though). Well, today I was told that my regular summer job isn't available this year - not enough students to necessitate the program AND I am not needed to tutor in the am the rest of the year (budget cuts).

I am just devastated. I am not a spendthrift anymore. I have saved 11k over the past 2 years and I budget everything but at this rate I will never save up enough for a wedding and down payment on a home. I know it will take my bf like 2 years to save up for a ring because of all the student loans, there's not much extra leftover each month. I am in grad school and am debt free, so I am trying my best but it doesn't feel like it is enough.

If anyone has any advice or if there are any other wannabe brides who are feeling left out of the whole world, let me know. I really need someone to talk to who can understand. I'm not trying to be a jealous person, I don't need everything bigger and better, I just want to get started with my life. :bbredface:

[MOB Karen]

I'm sorry that you feel that way, but weddings don't have to be elaborate and expensive. There are some beautiful budget conscious weddings out there. You just have to be willing to work for it. Good luck to you! :grinhappy:

[4424]

i think it's a natural feeling if you think that's where you are in your relationship. there are many brides here that have planned a wedding for under $5000 and many considerably less than that too. it just depends on where you're willing to cut corners.

i think it's normal to feel that way but if you're financially stressed now, it may not be the best time to get married. it sounds like you're doing all you can now!

i definitely would recommend for you to check out some of the weddings that have been posted here...there are some beautiful weddings on very small budgets so it can be done!

[jeni740]

Andy and I got engaged after 4 years of dating, we make decent money but are still planning a wedding that is under 5000.00. I am not inviting everyone and their grandmother so we cut down on costs by just inviting real friends not just co workers because we had too and family. We left out children because of many reasons one being there are about 25 of them and that is an extra 400.00 that I dont have. Good luck I hope you get engeged soon :)

[WebLady]

I'm sorry that you feel that way, but weddings don't have to be elaborate and expensive. There are some beautiful budget conscious weddings out there. You just have to be willing to work for it. Good luck to you! :grinhappy:
I agree :) Personally I think alot of people put too much emphasis on "the wedding", the ring and the money in general anyway, but that is just me ;)

DH and I were together for 6 yrs before we got married. I know others that were together even longer. We had a very small ceremony in our home and no 'real' reception (it was more of a party with our friends). We spent more on the honeymoon than the wedding. Even in that it was a fraction of what most people spend, but that was what we wanted

I say don't rush the wedding thing, don't pester your man (not that you are, just saying) about it and don't compare your life and your relationship to that of your peers. Take the time to make sure it is right and you both are ready to spend the rest of your life together; emotionally, physically and financially (even if you don't spend alot on the wedding). Enjoy each day with your honey and be happy, then when the time is right it will happen.

All the best!

Welcome to the board by the way :bbmrgreen:

[EnchantedRose]

Thank you for all the advice so far. I really just needed to get it out. No, I realized awhile ago that for the sake of our relationship I shouldn't bug him. He is working hard and knows the situation as well as I so pestering him would do no good. I *did* once mention getting a moissanite or a cz instead of a diamond ring and he was really upset. He thought I was saying he couldn't get me a real one. So, I backed off that idea. All our friends have nothing under a carat, mostly 2 carats plus, so I know while it's not a competition, it would be something that got "talked about". I really don't think anyone would know or care cz or real, they just look at size around here! I do know that he was upset at that suggestion for saving money.
It's just hard, trying to teach, go to grad school, part time jobs, and then STILL feel like I'm "poor" compared to my friends and family. Then yesterday when I lost my before school job (only a few hundred really, since it's only 2 months) and another teacher got engaged, it kind of sent me into a little depression.
I don't want a huge ring or 50k wedding as much as I want to just start our life together already, but just something nice, you know? I am definitely going to look around for those budget ideas. I love DIY projects, so I've been looking there. I am so impressed and excited. I just know that it will be awhile before I even get to set a date because he wants to save up for a real diamond. It's kind of frustrating.

[BriansBride07]

Welcome to the boards.

I will have to say though that it sounds to me that you are trying to keep up with the Smith's per say. You have spoke about how a friend of yours got your dream ring and that if you don't have the ring that some of your friends get that it will be talked about. I say oh well. I'm sure if you dug deep enough into their lives that you would find out that they are in dept up to their ears. Although they would never tell you this.

IMO it is childish to sport around a ring and have a wedding to suit others and not yourself. Just so you won't be talked about. I am sorry to say that these type of people will just find something else to talk about if its not your ring size or the quality of your wedding.

I have been with my FH for going on 15 yrs. The $ wasn't there so we waited. I am having a smaller wedding but its a wedding of my dreams and it will not put us into debt for it.

Also whats the difference if you were sporting around a 2 ct ring for oodles of $ or a 1/2-1 ct ring that didn't put you into debt. Sorry to say but that 2 ct. ring is not going to bring anymore love or happiness into your life. IF you have to pay for it for the rest of your life.

I wish you all the best and I hope you don't get caught up into what others are doing around you just so they won't talk about you. It sounds to me like you have a good head on your shoulders keep it that way.

[lea m]

Welcome to the boards.

I will have to say though that it sounds to me that you are trying to keep up with the Smith's per say. You have spoke about how a friend of yours got your dream ring and that if you don't have the ring that some of your friends get that it will be talked about. I say oh well. I'm sure if you dug deep enough into their lives that you would find out that they are in dept up to their ears. Although they would never tell you this.

IMO it is childish to sport around a ring and have a wedding to suit others and not yourself. Just so you won't be talked about. I am sorry to say that these type of people will just find something else to talk about if its not your ring size or the quality of your wedding.

I have been with my FH for going on 15 yrs. The $ wasn't there so we waited. I am having a smaller wedding but its a wedding of my dreams and it will not put us into debt for it.

Also whats the difference if you were sporting around a 2 ct ring for oodles of $ or a 1/2-1 ct ring that didn't put you into debt. Sorry to say but that 2 ct. ring is not going to bring anymore love or happiness into your life. IF you have to pay for it for the rest of your life.

I wish you all the best and I hope you don't get caught up into what others are doing around you just so they won't talk about you. It sounds to me like you have a good head on your shoulders keep it that way.


ITA!! You shouldnt care whether your friends would 'talk'!? IMO there not great friend are they? None of my 'friends' would dream of discussing the size of my ring and the exense of my wedding?! It so unfortunate that thats who your stuck with?? You could have a brilliant day without all the pomp so I dont see why you are letting it hold you back!? Just go for it! Forget the size of your rings and the expensive wedding! If you want to marry your love for love, then just do it! You have more than enough saved in the $11k you have saved imo!

[hummingbird521]

i just want to say first off and i hope i offend no one here. but has he even asked you to marry him yet? i can understand if you are hoping and dreaming and have it all in your head about a wedding. but don't build yourself up yet. if he hasn't asked yet he might be waiting on the money to be right simply because you or friends show signs of the size and cost of the wedding and ring to be more important than being engaged and with the man you love. enjoy your life and having him in it. let him know you are happy with things the way they are and from time to time maybe throw in a "i would just like to spend the rest of my life with you, you make me happy with just the way you are." let him know that money and ring size it not all their is to being married. i would have loved to have had a huge wedding with no expenses spared. but all i really wanted was to spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams. and we had a beautiful wedding with family and friends for less than $1500. in a beautiful church my husband as attended all of his life. so it can be done. i know it can. and to be honest with you i wouldn't have cared if he placed a cracker jack ring on my finger. as it is what it represented to me that mattered most. now with this said, i hope i have not offended you, but it just seemed to me you were placing more emphasis on your friends and what they expect it to be like.

[mj512]

first off, My FH and I are getting married a week from today on the 12th, and we have been dating for 6 years. Almost two years ago I settled for an engagement ring that cost like $150 because I wanted to get engaged soooo bad! Well he knew that it wasn't what I really wanted but that I was just saying that because I knew we couldn't afford any more than that at the time. Well instead of listening to me thankfully! he waited and got me an amazing ring that I love that was just under 2 grand. I say that because you may say that you are okay with a lesser thing now simply because you want it so bad, but if in the end you wait you will be more happy... take it from someone who was in that position.

Also my wedding is coming in under $3000 and I am having a meal, a dj, a photographer, and all that fun stuff. You can make it really simple and make it under a grand and be just as happy. In the end you will still be married.

Leave it to him though. Trust me, the more it gets talked about, the more delayed it will be. Matt told me later that any time I talked about getting engaged, it just made him feel like he couldn't even propose until I stopped talking about it.

Good luck to you and I hope that your time comes soon, just don't base it on others.

[lea m]

i just want to say first off and i hope i offend no one here. but has he even asked you to marry him yet? i can understand if you are hoping and dreaming and have it all in your head about a wedding. but don't build yourself up yet. if he hasn't asked yet he might be waiting on the money to be right simply because you or friends show signs of the size and cost of the wedding and ring to be more important than being engaged and with the man you love. enjoy your life and having him in it. let him know you are happy with things the way they are and from time to time maybe throw in a "i would just like to spend the rest of my life with you, you make me happy with just the way you are." let him know that money and ring size it not all their is to being married. i would have loved to have had a huge wedding with no expenses spared. but all i really wanted was to spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams. and we had a beautiful wedding with family and friends for less than $1500. in a beautiful church my husband as attended all of his life. so it can be done. i know it can. and to be honest with you i wouldn't have cared if he placed a cracker jack ring on my finger. as it is what it represented to me that mattered most. now with this said, i hope i have not offended you, but it just seemed to me you were placing more emphasis on your friends and what they expect it to be like.

I agree with Treasia! It does seem that theres a lot of pressure to have everything big and expensive and that may just put him off and make him feel worse! Poor man! As you say he has debts etc so a lot of stress already and to think that hes struggling to get the money together for a tbch "keeping up with the Jones' " wedding, I wounldnt be suprised if he finds it all to much!? kwim? Sorry if i offend!

[burnsgirl001]

I really just wanna give you a big hug! those always make me feel better! I can understand that it takes what seems like forever to get engaged, especially when money is an issue. i'm an undergrad in college right now--so i also have NO money. and i'm "unemployed" (doesnt that sound so much better than "dont have a job"lol). i wish you all the luck in the world for a part time job for the summer since you lost yours.
its also very frustrating when you dont have anyone to vent to. i'm sure you cant vent to your FH cause it would make him feel bad. i'm glad you came here to vent. : ) it kind of sounds to me like you really arent all that concerned with what everyone else has--its just taking so long to get what you want. but you're also so lucky to have a man who wants the best for you and is so willing to work for it. wish you all the happiness in the world! it really sounds like you deserve it--just be patient and you'll get it eventually!

[septemberbride06]

First off, welcome to the boards!
I just wanted to say that me and my husband didn't have much $$ for a wedding either..I have always dreamed of having BIG things when it came to my wedding, but somehow that just didn't work out...we had 100 people at my wedding in a local pavilion and a reception in the same location with food and a DJ for under $2500.00!!!
It was hard and I cut alot if corners, but aftre all it was OUR wedding...even though I didn't get everything I wanted It was still the best day of my life!!
If you guys are having financial diff. why not just go to the court house and have a big reception later? You can still buy a dress and tux and whatever else but I have seen many of my friends do it that way...or, I've also seen weddig with only IMMEDIATE family...mom, dad, grandparents, sisters, brothers, and that's it!
As far as the ring goes..we didn't have the $$ either, so my husband bought me a small $130.00 ring to sufice until we could afford something else. We have been married since September so not quite a year, and my hubby bought me another ring for Mother's Day..(actually just found out) it's not 2 carats but it is a ring that my husband gave to me and that is all that matters..(to me anyway) If a ring is that important then you should prob. step back and take a look at all the things you MAY be dissapointed on in the future...me and my hubby have been trying to buy a house for 2 yrs.
it's hard cause we have kids already and lots of bills, but in the end I'm sure we'll get one someday...my advice is just live your life..don't be in a hurry...let life happen and like my mom always saysIf it ain't broken, don't fix it" lol...Good Luck!:grinhappy:

[EnchantedRose]

I really just wanna give you a big hug! those always make me feel better! I can understand that it takes what seems like forever to get engaged, especially when money is an issue. i'm an undergrad in college right now--so i also have NO money. and i'm "unemployed" (doesnt that sound so much better than "dont have a job"lol). i wish you all the luck in the world for a part time job for the summer since you lost yours.
its also very frustrating when you dont have anyone to vent to. i'm sure you cant vent to your FH cause it would make him feel bad. i'm glad you came here to vent. : ) it kind of sounds to me like you really arent all that concerned with what everyone else has--its just taking so long to get what you want. but you're also so lucky to have a man who wants the best for you and is so willing to work for it. wish you all the happiness in the world! it really sounds like you deserve it--just be patient and you'll get it eventually!

Thank you so much. I really appreciate all the kind words. I work four jobs and to lose my summer job and my before school job was really tough. I am thankful that you "get" me - DBF and I are best friends and always together and I can't torture him or vent to him - he's doing his best to take care of his business - working and going to grad school and I can't vent to my friends who all have 2 carat rings - they just don't get it, either. I am sure that it will work out for all of us, eventually. I really do appreciate the response because it is hard to feel so alone and hold it in all the time. :grinhappy: Thank you again!

[EnchantedRose]

First off, welcome to the boards!
I just wanted to say that me and my husband didn't have much $$ for a wedding either..I have always dreamed of having BIG things when it came to my wedding, but somehow that just didn't work out...we had 100 people at my wedding in a local pavilion and a reception in the same location with food and a DJ for under $2500.00!!!
It was hard and I cut alot if corners, but aftre all it was OUR wedding...even though I didn't get everything I wanted It was still the best day of my life!!
If you guys are having financial diff. why not just go to the court house and have a big reception later? You can still buy a dress and tux and whatever else but I have seen many of my friends do it that way...or, I've also seen weddig with only IMMEDIATE family...mom, dad, grandparents, sisters, brothers, and that's it!
As far as the ring goes..we didn't have the $$ either, so my husband bought me a small $130.00 ring to sufice until we could afford something else. We have been married since September so not quite a year, and my hubby bought me another ring for Mother's Day..(actually just found out) it's not 2 carats but it is a ring that my husband gave to me and that is all that matters..(to me anyway) If a ring is that important then you should prob. step back and take a look at all the things you MAY be dissapointed on in the future...me and my hubby have been trying to buy a house for 2 yrs.
it's hard cause we have kids already and lots of bills, but in the end I'm sure we'll get one someday...my advice is just live your life..don't be in a hurry...let life happen and like my mom always saysIf it ain't broken, don't fix it" lol...Good Luck!:grinhappy:

Thank you for the welcome! I am impressed that you could manage a wedding for 100 in that budget. Congratulations - and you are right about how there will always be something else. I know I don't need a 2 carat ring, I know I"ll never have the biggest or highest quality ring among my friends, but if I'm patient, I will have a beautiful ring and by weathering this well, I will be ensuring a great life together, too.

[EnchantedRose]

first off, My FH and I are getting married a week from today on the 12th, and we have been dating for 6 years. Almost two years ago I settled for an engagement ring that cost like $150 because I wanted to get engaged soooo bad! Well he knew that it wasn't what I really wanted but that I was just saying that because I knew we couldn't afford any more than that at the time. Well instead of listening to me thankfully! he waited and got me an amazing ring that I love that was just under 2 grand. I say that because you may say that you are okay with a lesser thing now simply because you want it so bad, but if in the end you wait you will be more happy... take it from someone who was in that position.

Also my wedding is coming in under $3000 and I am having a meal, a dj, a photographer, and all that fun stuff. You can make it really simple and make it under a grand and be just as happy. In the end you will still be married.

Leave it to him though. Trust me, the more it gets talked about, the more delayed it will be. Matt told me later that any time I talked about getting engaged, it just made him feel like he couldn't even propose until I stopped talking about it.

Good luck to you and I hope that your time comes soon, just don't base it on others.

The part I bolded is definitely great advice. He knows what kind of ring I like and I won't talk about it any more. We sometimes talk about wedding/house things, but I try to keep it light hearted and let him bring it up. I don't want to seem like I am giving him a chore - we still want to have fun! :)

[italiandiva214]

The part I bolded is definitely great advice. He knows what kind of ring I like and I won't talk about it any more. We sometimes talk about wedding/house things, but I try to keep it light hearted and let him bring it up. I don't want to seem like I am giving him a chore - we still want to have fun! :)
I got engaged after 1 1/2 years of dating. Money is also an issue for us. I was hoping to get engaged on our 1 year anniversary but we didnt. He just didnt have the money. We got engaged 5 months later. Come to find out, he'd been saving money for my dream ring. I have a 5 1/2 year old daughter from a previous relationship so we need all the money we can get. I work part time as a legal receptionist and he's a mason so we make decent money but it never seems to be enough. My daughter goes to Catholic school and does 2 after school activities, that alone is $500 a month. Condos and Apartments around where I live are so overpriced because I'm so close to Manhattan, NY. and where my FH lives, forget it, he lives in Westchester County, NY and if anyone is from around here, you know what the prices both here and there are like. You can't get a 2 bedroom condo in a nice area for less then $350,000.00 and thats being generous. My parents are helping us out alot, they're looking for a house with an inlaw type apartment so we can get a start and pay them minimal rent. Without them, I dont know what we would do because rent is $1500-2500 and a mortgage would be even worse. My parents and his parents are splitting the whole wedding so we dont have to worry about that. That's the perk of being Italian...LOL At first I was nervous and stressing the money but now I think we're going to be fine. I'm just so excited!

[SoontobeMrsClark07]

I'm sorry if I sound a little harsh (cause that is truely not my intention) but when I read your post it seemed as if you were just trying to keep up with the Jones'. Does it really matter how big your ring is? Does it really matter if you have an elaborate wedding? It seems as if your putting a lot of emphasis on the ring and wedding and not on the actual relationship and marriage. Look at it this way... would you rather have a really expensive ring and wedding, or a down payment on a house or paying off debt if you have any? I think its pretty silly to want things just because someone else has it. If you have the big expensive ring or the elaborate wedding is it going to change how you and your boyfriend feel about each other? Having a inexpensive wedding doesnt make you any less married than those who have an elaborate one and having a smaller ring (or no ring if you want to get technical about it) doesnt make you any less engaged than the ladies with the huge rocks. Dont loose sight of the fact that the engagement is the commitment to get married and the preparation stage for marriage, not just a time to plan a wedding or have a ring. Also the wedding is about you two joining as one and not about all the little details that we all get so caught up in sometimes. Its not about the dress, the food, the venue, or anything other than the two of you starting a life as one and that is something that I think sometimes we're all guilty of forgetting from time to time when we're faced with the "wedding."

If you really want the big ring and the elaborate wedding... then wait... its not worth your frustration (or his for that matter) for you to dwell on it. You'll feel much better if you let things happen. If its truely a money issue, then he'll still be there in 2 years, 5 years, or even 10 years from now. It'll happen.. dont worry.

[shawnsgirl]

I'm sorry if I sound a little harsh (cause that is truely not my intention) but when I read your post it seemed as if you were just trying to keep up with the Jones'. Does it really matter how big your ring is? Does it really matter if you have an elaborate wedding? It seems as if your putting a lot of emphasis on the ring and wedding and not on the actual relationship and marriage. Look at it this way... would you rather have a really expensive ring and wedding, or a down payment on a house or paying off debt if you have any? I think its pretty silly to want things just because someone else has it. If you have the big expensive ring or the elaborate wedding is it going to change how you and your boyfriend feel about each other? Having a inexpensive wedding doesnt make you any less married than those who have an elaborate one and having a smaller ring (or no ring if you want to get technical about it) doesnt make you any less engaged than the ladies with the huge rocks. Dont loose sight of the fact that the engagement is the commitment to get married and the preparation stage for marriage, not just a time to plan a wedding or have a ring. Also the wedding is about you two joining as one and not about all the little details that we all get so caught up in sometimes. Its not about the dress, the food, the venue, or anything other than the two of you starting a life as one and that is something that I think sometimes we're all guilty of forgetting from time to time when we're faced with the "wedding."

If you really want the big ring and the elaborate wedding... then wait... its not worth your frustration (or his for that matter) for you to dwell on it. You'll feel much better if you let things happen. If its truely a money issue, then he'll still be there in 2 years, 5 years, or even 10 years from now. It'll happen.. dont worry.

I totally agree with the above respectfully. It just seems to me your just waiting on a proposal...Why don't you concentrate on stengthening your relationship more. Right now you just waiting to be engaged, once that happens you'll be planning and waiting on your wedding day, after all the waiting and planning you have a marriage to take care of plus the reality of life. Marriage takes a lot of work and isn't fun! I'm sure you know that but I think you need to focus more in the present and the relaionship you have with you BF

[NicksBride]

The ladies here have been giving such wonderful advice. so much of a marriage is timing.
I am going to put my two cents. I had a friend who had a boyfriend who pushed and pushed and pushed for them to get married. He finally was tired of her pushing, got her a ring and proposed. She was thrilled to begin with, but then realized after the fact that it really didnt' mean anything, he just did it becasue he didn't want to break up, and didn't want to hear her complaining anymore. She realized that there was no thought, or love behind his proposal and she became devestated and they eventually broke up because they were not able to break that feeling.
So, with that story comes just a small piece of advice. If it is not broken, don't try to fix it. In other words, if your relationship is going well and yuo love him, will a ring really make your feelings for him change? Or is it just a symbol? When the time is right, you will be glad you waited because there will be love, thought and planning put into it. Good luck! I know it will work out for you!

[BriansBride07]

The ladies here have been giving such wonderful advice. so much of a marriage is timing.
I am going to put my two cents. I had a friend who had a boyfriend who pushed and pushed and pushed for them to get married. He finally was tired of her pushing, got her a ring and proposed. She was thrilled to begin with, but then realized after the fact that it really didnt' mean anything, he just did it becasue he didn't want to break up, and didn't want to hear her complaining anymore. She realized that there was no thought, or love behind his proposal and she became devestated and they eventually broke up because they were not able to break that feeling.
So, with that story comes just a small piece of advice. If it is not broken, don't try to fix it. In other words, if your relationship is going well and yuo love him, will a ring really make your feelings for him change? Or is it just a symbol? When the time is right, you will be glad you waited because there will be love, thought and planning put into it. Good luck! I know it will work out for you!

Wonderful advice another reason why I waited to get married so long in our relationship.

[pinkcherry83]

I agree with everyone here in that you can budget your wedding and still love it. For us, we are getting married out of state because it actually costs less - think of it, less guests to pay for for starters! and getting married out of town just feels more glamourous IMHO. My ring is only 1/2 a carat and I could really care less! We couldn't even afford a nice 1/2 carat so the jeweler just put a cheap one in the setting we picked (they just took the diamond out of one of the pre-set solitaire's so there's no certificate or anything) but does that matter? Nope. After we're settled (we have no house either!) we can maybe replace the diamond with something more brilliant - and so could you!

Money is an issue with most of us, eventually you realize that there are great odds that you'll never be rich. I used to want this huge wedding with designer dresses and a tacori ring... I realized that if I kept waiting to have that much money I would just never get married. I work for minimum wage. My FH works at Best Buy. We aren't loaded and I'm still saving up to go to college. We'll work it out and honestly I'm glad we're getting married because despite the added debt that a wedding brings it just shows that we'll pull through TOGETHER. It's all about love. Screw the ring and the dress and the pretense. Your wedding is all about YOUR LOVE. Good luck :) You can do it.

[shawnsgirl]

[QUOTE][Screw the ring and the dress and the pretense. Your wedding is all about YOUR LOVE. Good luck :) You can do it./QUOTE]

Hah! I love this and its a great way to put it!

Most of you know this story but since there are so many new gals here I'm going to share it again. Shawns grandmother and grandfather were in the PHillipines fighting for our country in World War 2. They met overseas there and after shawns grandfather being extremly persistant they dated during the difficult times. Shawns grandfather was persistant and had asked shawns grandma 4 times to marry him before she said yes. She wanted to wait until after the war but being the persistant man that he was he wasn't going to wait that long. They ended up getting married by an Army chaplain over the in the phillipines. All they had was the few friends they made there thru their time in the army..No family and no parents were present. She also didn't have an engagement ring and till this day she still doesn't have one. Her wedding dress was made out of parachuts by two kind natives. All that was important to them was to love on another forever and even today all these years they said screw a wedding with family, a real dress, and gold rings. Lets do it for love. Did they have their parents at their wedding-nope did they have their high school best friend-nope did she have a designer gown-nope did she have a diamond e ring- nope....
I bet if you asked them if any of this mattered after all these years and if they could go back they would do it all over again!!