I have a really important question

[FutureMrs.Davis]

I have yet to choose any Bridesmaids or even a Maid of Honor

However, my wedding isn't until Sept. 9th, 2009

I want to ask my best friend to be my M.O.H..................

We live in Ohio (currently) BUT I will be moving to North Carolina.

Whatever the case, if I do choose her, I do not even know what duties to assign to her since I will be in N.C. and she will remain in Ohio. I just don't know what to do about anything.

Our wedding will be taking place on a beach down in N.C. also we will be having 2 receptions.........one in N.C. and one in O.H.

Can anyone offer advise? It would be GREATLY appreciated :)

(I also have another question but for right now I'd like to solve this lil' problem first)

[woohoo2me]

My friend will be leaving for school so she will not be here that much to help. So we do alot of planning online together and do file sharing over MSN. Lots of sending packages and late night phone conversations.

[Panthers Bride]

I'm in a similar situation. I live in NC and none of "my" bridal party live close. My MOH is in NE, one BM is in San Francisco and another lives near Nashville. My girls really aren't too involved in the actual planning. Of course, I'm pretty opinionated and decisive and FH is VERY involved in the planning (he got the photog, he's called reception sites, etc, etc.). What my MOH's duties have been so far have been mostly stress relief. When things aren't going the way I want them to, she brings an objective, detatched opinion and gives me various options. I see my BM as more of social coordinators the actual weekend of the wedding. Their jobs will be to make sure I don't lose my cool, and to make sure every one is having fun.

So, to answer your question: the duties all depend on you, your FH and your potential MOH - how much do you want her to be involved? What do you want her duties to be? Do you need help making decisions and do you always need other peoples opinions, or do you pretty much have an idea of what you want?

My $.02

[katieandalex]

My first suggestion, wait for a while before choosing that person to be your MOH. I got engaged back in 2003 and didn't get married until 2006. I got a little excited and asked my best friend to be one of my BM. Turns out we don't even talk to each other anymore and she didnt' end up being in my wedding. I also asked another friend to be my personal assistant (but closer to the wedding date) she said she would come to town (we lived an hour apart) to help me with stuff, etc,etc and never did and now we barely talk either.

As for duties, my BM and MOH didn't really do a whole in terms of the wedding stuff. They were there when I needed to vent and my MOH planned my bridal shower...but other than that, they didn't do much. But they also lives 2.5 and 3 hours away from me too....

[Goin2thechapel]

I too had a simliar situation as Katie. You have plenty of time...I'd wait, alot can happen in two years :) Best of luck!

[July707Bride]

I agree with the other ladies. Wait a little while to ask them and it's up to you what duties they have. For my wedding, we have 4 BM and 4 GM. The people we chose are close family and friends and all but our MOH and Best Man are younger than us. Two of my BM are 14 and 16 and FH has a 13 year old GM. No one lives more than an hour away from us, but because of their ages, we're not expecting them to be very involved. I'll ask my bridesmaids for opinions on things occasionally because they're my cousins, but that's about it. My MOH is my best friend and is renting a room from my neighbor right now so she's nice and close. She's planning my bridal shower, but it's being held at my aunt's house and my mom and aunt are paying for it.

[sayido]

Here is what I tell my clients...

10 Tasks for attendants
› Help write invitations if you are not hiring a calligrapher
› Figure out directions and/or map for invitations
› Research ceremony readings
› Call guests who haven’t RSVP’d
› Assemble Programs
› Mail Wedding Announcements
› Usher guests to seats
› Keep the Bride & Groom on schedule
› Return Rental Equipment & Clothing
› Deliver wedding gifts to house

The Day of tasks...
Make sure the bride eats.
Don’t let her look bad!
Pass out bouquets etc.
Make any trips needed
Keep in contact with planner

Hope it helps!!

[allysa04]

I am in a similar situation..only ONE of my BM live within 30 min of us (which is reasonable..we live in the country)...and my MOH lives in Seattle, WA...so its a good 16 hour drive..LOL...and shes currently expecting a little one (within 14 days or so!) so I am not depending on her to do a whole lot right now...I told her that I really just want her to give a toast at the reception, plan my bach party, and to enjoy the wedding. Of course the week before the wedding we will do A LOT of catching up girl time together..but its only because we dont see eachother very often. So I would 1. WAIT until closer to your wedding date. 2. Don't depend A LOT on them, especially since you have FH helping A LOT with the planning..you don't really need them...you may ask for help when its time to address invites or something like that..but I wouldn't depend on them! Use them more for venting and opinions rather then help! :) GOOD LUCK!

[racecargirl]

I'm in Nebraska and my MOH is in DC. She is going to come out two weeks before the wedding and just stay at my house and help me with stuff. We will have a bachelorette party, but not doing a shower. My aunt was going to throw me a shower, but ended up my parents moved and things got too crazy to do so. So you can ask your friend, just know some stuff might need to be handled by other family members or you don't have some of the events. And not all MOH's will have two weeks like mine will. Just worked out that way for her because she has to come here for something else anyhow. Otherwise she would have been here for a week.

[septemberbride06]

I agree with everyone here. i would wait awhile to ask anyone. That gives you more time to think about it, and also figure out the responsibilities that are the most important for them as well. :bbmrgreen:

[FutureMrs.Davis]

Thanks ladies for all the replies......

I have been out a while and haven't had a chance to check this site. All of the info has been really helpful in making my decision toward a maid of honor choice so early & if I do assign duties :) thank you all very much

[Goin2thechapel]

Glad we could help! Best of luck in any decision that you make :)