only brother doesn't want me as best man...

[iamjames]

My brother doesn't want his only brother as his best man.

His reasoning is he just moved here and the wedding will be held in another state 300 miles away, where the bride's parents live. His best friend lives there, so he wants him to be the best man.

my parents are a little pissed over this, but i don't know what to think, however it is a little strange.

what do you guys think?

[NicksBride]

While it is the norm MOST times to have the brother as the best man, it is not totally out of the ordinary.I am sure it does hurt everyones feelings, including your own. But you didn't even want to go, so perhaps he got that vibe, didn't think you were supportive and therefore didn't have his brother as best man. however, now that you are having a change of heart, which is GREAT I am sure it does hurt a bit. Have you talked to your brother about this? perhaps he does not know you are coming, or that you are going to support him. It may change his heart as well. It is just a not so fun situation. Sorry you have to go through this...

[iamjames]

Have you talked to your brother about this? perhaps he does not know you are coming, or that you are going to support him. It may change his heart as well. It is just a not so fun situation. Sorry you have to go through this...

yup, we talked last night. That's when he told me.

[NicksBride]

Did he give you a reason? If you do not live close, perhaps he does not feel that closeness with you, and therefore he may have picked his friend who is closer and he has more of a connection with. It is a rough situations weddings, they aer never easy and they never please everyone. I just hope that with you going to the wedding you can patch things up with your brother and get that relationship that you both want.

[Goin2thechapel]

First, Welcome to OneWed!!!

Secondly, Are you and he very close? I know it sucks that he didn't choose you, but maybe it's a blessing in disguise :) Just make sure you're there for anything that he might need. You are his brother after all :wink:

[WebLady]

It is not a 'rule' that your brother has to be your best man in your wedding. It is usually your brother or your best friend.

Are you close to your brother? Isn't this the same brother that you were debating on even going to the wedding ... why do you care?

I wouldn't be upset if my sister didn't make me MOH, even though we are close. I would be happy I didn't have all the MOH stress ;) I would rather just be the sister anyway :)

[shawnsgirl]

I'm assuming this is the same guy you don't even support in the fact of him getting married....
Personally, there is no such rule that you have to be his best man. Although, if you do not support him and his marriage 100% you really shouldn't be the best man in the first place. IMO: the bridal party should support the bride and groom 110% with their decision to marry. Perhaps, he has a clue that you don't support him like you expressed in the other posts and that's why he didn't choose you and maybe he has someone else in mind.

I'm sorry you feel disappointed because he is your brother and I understand how that could make someone feel.

I hope you plan to attend his wedding and enjoy the moment with him and celebrate it like there's no tomorrow! Good luck to you!

[iamjames]

Did he give you a reason? If you do not live close, perhaps he does not feel that closeness with you, and therefore he may have picked his friend who is closer and he has more of a connection with. It is a rough situations weddings, they aer never easy and they never please everyone. I just hope that with you going to the wedding you can patch things up with your brother and get that relationship that you both want.
he does live close to me... now. He moved about a year ago, but before that he lived close to where the wedding is taking place for 13 years.

[jeni740]

Andy is not having his brother be his best man either, he is having his best friend do it. I hope we didn't hurt his feelings?

[septemberbride06]

That does suck that your only brother doesn't want you to be his best man, but IMO he could still include you into the wedding in some way ie....GM, or perhaps Usher, something...I can imagine how your parent's feel too, although if oyu were debating to go in the first place maybe he just figured that he would save himself the heart ache. Sorry, just try to make the best of things. :bbmrgreen: