My Fiancé has snapped

[Joebob]

So our wedding is 9 days away. Her bridal shower was last weekend. She's been really stressed out and recently started trying to pick fights with me. I'm a hard person to pick a fight with so she has started escalating what she's angry about. Some of the stuff if your standard "You don't help around the house!" but she's come up with some pretty irrational stuff as well... the other day I was petting our cat and she accused me of being in love with the cat and said "That's just sick!" I mean... wtf... seriously.

If the anger wasn't bad enough she then crashes into a funk, starts crying and saying things like "I ruin everything! I can't believe I said those things!"

Is it normal for women to go this crazy? I've heard they get wacky... but wow... The cat thing really threw me, and she's said some other stuff that was even weirder and/or meaner. I was fine, not stressed and happy to get married until this week. Now I'm worried that my wife-to-be is losing her mind! lol

[shawnsgirl]

Wow..No, I have heard and seen bridezillas in action but personally I think it's all in how a person handles stress. Some bottle it up and won't talk about their issues and turn and take it out on the people closest to them.
IMHO: I think she has a lot on her shoulders. I would suggest sitting down and talking with her. Don't accuse her of snapping out at you. Approach her with a concerning tone...Ask her if there is anything she wants to talk about with you? Ask her how she is feeling? Ask her if there is something bothering her. Try to find the root of her stress and issues before discussing the issue of her snapping at you. When you do bring that issue up say I feel like I'm always doing things wrong...Do you think I am? If you she asks you why you feel this way bring up the example of the cat and say it just feels like I'm being yelled at for showing the cat affection. Hopefully, this will help. I'm sure once the wedding is over and done with she should feel better unless there is some deeper issue going on with her! Hope this helps!

[Joebob]

Well we have talked about it... that's when she swings the other direction and starts the crying. I knew we should have just eloped.

[NicksBride]

While it sounds like she is taking it to the extreme and is starting to insult you even, I am sure it is just extra stress that she is dealing with . The crying, helping around the house etc. Just try and be understanding but at the same time, you shouldn't have to deal with her name calling in such. Remind her to take a deep breathe, take a step away for awhile go for a walk, take a bath etc to help ease the tension. Planning weddings and having to see all the family can be stressful and people deal with it differently. After the wedding I am sure you both will be relieved. Good luck. Take care of yourself as well.

[BriansBride07]

This sort of thing IMO will happen. She does have alot of stress on her shoulders. I'm sure she even may be dealing with things that she hasn't even spoke to you about. If you try to talk to her and she starts crying just hold her and tell her it will all be ok. Your heading to the finish line and tell her to look at the big picture. Not the small stuff that noone will notice anyway.

[WendyNC]

Sometimes people "act out" because they need some recognition for their current emotional state. It seems that you do understand her point of view, but maybe just make sure you are telling her that - that you totally understand that she is stressing, you can understand why, etc etc. DO NOT tell her "you shouldn't get this stressed out" or "it's not such a big deal" b/c that might only make her think she is being unreasonable (even if she is!) and compound the problem. I think she just wants to be told she is normal, it's ok to stress, and "I feel your pain" :bbmrgreen:

BUT... this is not the best way to handle stress. If it presents itself again after the wedding you may want to explore the issue further.

[shawnsgirl]

DO NOT tell her "you shouldn't get this stressed out" or "it's not such a big deal" b/c that might only make her think she is being unreasonable (even if she is!) and compound the problem.

Not to mention she will also get defensive...


I'm just curious...When you did talk about this issue how did you approach her with it???

[WendyNC]

DO NOT tell her "you shouldn't get this stressed out" or "it's not such a big deal" b/c that might only make her think she is being unreasonable (even if she is!) and compound the problem. Not to mention she will also get defensive...

Yes.. people tend to say things like that thinking they are helping to lessen the situation, but it is actually minimizing something that is truly bothering the other person.

[The future Mrs. Monroe]

I am sure she is very stressed about the pending wedding. There must be a ton of emotions there you know. Maybe if you just sat with her and encouraged her to vent- sometimes I just need to let out all the negative energy! I am sure things will get better after the wedding and you are almost there! It will be a huge weight lifted off of both of you. I know it must seem stressfull now but you can get through this! Hopefully, you have a great honeymoon planned!

[WebLady]

I just skimmed the thread here but ...

I think you should try to take her out for a nice dinner or plan a romantic evening in. Get away from the wedding planning and explain to her how much you love her and how being together is all that matters. You may also try to complement her for all she has done and dealt with.

Hopefully this will ease her stress and help put things back into perspective for her.

Is your FW normally a very emotional and sensitive person?

:goodluck:

[Joebob]

Well, it depends... yea, shes sensitive sometimes... sometimes not. I'm going to stop and get her the "The Secret" DVD on the way home... shes been talking non-stop about it for months. I dunno what power operah holds over women, but if it can buy me a couple hours of peace, Im all for it.

I'm starting to think she was onto something with the cat, because I have given serious consideration to running off with the cat.

[WebLady]

Well, it depends... yea, shes sensitive sometimes... sometimes not. I'm going to stop and get her the "The Secret" DVD on the way home... shes been talking non-stop about it for months. I dunno what power operah holds over women, but if it can buy me a couple hours of peace, Im all for it.
I hate Oprah, and most of the similar type talk shows :p But if that is something she wants then give it a try. You might try a mushy card and flowers too ;)

... I'm starting to think she was onto something with the cat, because I have given serious consideration to running off with the cat.:rofl:

[4424]

I'm starting to think she was onto something with the cat, because I have given serious consideration to running off with the cat.

i love it!

someone needs to write a book from the groom's point of view. i think doing your best to support her for the next week and a half will be the best cure and hopefully things will go back to normal after the wedding. i do think she needs to find a healthier way to deal with her stress but perhaps now is not the best time to point that out :)

[shawnsgirl]

Well, it depends... yea, shes sensitive sometimes... sometimes not. I'm going to stop and get her the "The Secret" DVD on the way home... shes been talking non-stop about it for months. I dunno what power operah holds over women, but if it can buy me a couple hours of peace, Im all for it.

I'm starting to think she was onto something with the cat, because I have given serious consideration to running off with the cat.


Oh my your are too funny!! lol....That sounds like something my FH would say...Of course he'd be only joking but that's him...


I don't care for Oprah at all!!!

[NicksBride]

well at least you have a sense of humor. hahaha.
But it sounds like you are doing all the right things and just keep going as you are and everything should be fine. Women are funny sometimes.. But sometimes there is a reason for our madness. :)

[Diamend]

I just skimmed the thread here but ...

I think you should try to take her out for a nice dinner or plan a romantic evening in. Get away from the wedding planning and explain to her how much you love her and how being together is all that matters. You may also try to complement her for all she has done and dealt with.

Hopefully this will ease her stress and help put things back into perspective for her.

Is your FW normally a very emotional and sensitive person?

:goodluck:

I completely agree! When I start to get frazzled b/c of planning and such, my FH makes me stop- we go out for dinner, he is extra romantic and we don't talk one thing wedding, unless it is dreamily about our future life!!

BTW, it is very refreshing to see a guy on hear, wanting to help with the wedding!

[Callys_bride]

she seems like this girl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRNntNBEUF0


hahaha just kidding :laugh:

[mariaandmanish]

Well, to me it sounds like you're doing just what you need to do to help her out. In addition to what the other ladies have said, ask her what you can do to help her. See if there's something you can be doing for wedding planning to help relive her stress. Making sure to tell her that whatever she needs help with, you'll do, and exactly how she wants it done!! Once the wedding is over, you'll both feel much better! Good luck!

[jeni740]

You seem really nice, I dont know why people turn into bridezillas I mean it makes no sense to be all crazy?

[Joebob]

The movie helped... I now firmly believe opera is nutz... but it made my Fiancé happy... so it's cool.

[NicksBride]

ha sometimes we all need to suffer in order for someone else to feel better. I am sure she appreciated what you did.

[WebLady]

Glad the movie helped :)

[Dereksbride]

i love it!

someone needs to write a book from the groom's point of view. i think doing your best to support her for the next week and a half will be the best cure and hopefully things will go back to normal after the wedding. i do think she needs to find a healthier way to deal with her stress but perhaps now is not the best time to point that out :)

Hey..neat you mentioned that. Someon DID write a book from the groom's perspective. It's called "Thirty to Wife". Check it out. Hope I can post this link. :) http://www.amazon.com/Thirty-Wife-Tell-All-Weddings-Hitched/dp/1569242968/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-1990810-7027854?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1177004290&sr=1-1

I remember seeing this a while back. Thought it was a neat idea because no one has done it before, that I know of.