Mothers

[racecargirl]

I love my mother dearly, but every time I see her she wants to add or change something. The latest, she want family to come over to my house sometime before or after the wedding. All of my family is coming from out of town, however, the day before the wedding, we have the rehearsal and truthfully I don't see us being home much. The day after we will be home part of the day, but I have no idea how tired we will be, we are going to be sorting through a lot of stuff and so the house will be a mess and she wants me to have a cookout! Plus we were going to try to leave for the bed & breakfast we are staying at in time that we can go out for a nice quiet romantic dinner. I realize that people are coming from far away to visit. But I'm already making them gift baskets and inviting them to a piano bar the night before the wedding if they are in town, and obviously the reception. My dad suggested they come over the day after in the evening, my parents will be there and they can see our house, and he and I will be away for the night. I prefer that, but my mom thinks we shoudl be there.

[NicksBride]

There is nothing saying that you guys have to host another party on top of your wedding. my father wanted to do that and I just said no, not this time. It is OK to say no, you guys are going to want some quiet time and going to want to clean your house and be sain after being insane for so long. I would talk with your mother about this, explain to her that added stress is not necessary and that you reallydo not think this is the right time. If they are still demanding to come over perhaps just set a time limit and explain to her how messy your house will be etc. But do not feel that you have to have people over.

[racecargirl]

My dad said he'd talk to her. I just thought the day after would be the relief day, you know? Stay in bed late, get up and open gifts, drive to the bed & breakfast (an hour away) and enjoy an nice quiet dinner and then go sit in the hot tub in our room. Nice relaxing day.

[shawnsgirl]

I think the other important issue is that you have your entire marriage to throw a family get together. Nothing states you have to host an after wedding party. That would only be by your chosing. After the wedding that is you and your new hubby's personal private time!! The two of you will probable be tired of hosting after you wedding day and won't even have a chance to enjoy the company!! If you are anything like me, I love to host events but I get this little knot in my stomach when hosting too many people trying to make everthing nice. I guess that would be due to the stress of planning I guess. There's nothing wrong with telling your mom how you feel and hopefully she will eventually understand!! Just stick to your guns!!

[racecargirl]

Well, I sent my parents a long email last night because Dave and I got to talking and a lot of what we planned in the beginning has been changed or altered by other people and neither of us is happy with it. So we just said we are doing what we want to do because it is OUR wedding.

We also told my parents, they are staying at our house the night we go to a bed and breakfast so they can take care of our dogs, so they can have people over to the house then.

Everyone was fine with it and the stress is starting to lift. Although Dave and I joked around all last night that we should have just eloped.

[shawnsgirl]

Well, I'm glad they saw your side of it and you are feeling better!! I joke about that too with Shawn that we should have ran off to someplace warm and tied the knot!!!

[NicksBride]

Glad that it worked out OK!
I think we all thought one time or another that eloping would be the best bet. but in the end, all the stress is well worth it!