Is this appropriate?

[Tiggerprincess]

Hi all! Me and my FH were going over the guest list last night.... I really don't want to invite my 3 cousins and their families....Is this wrong? They treated my mom with extreme disrespect at my grandmothers funeral......Do I still have to invite them since they are family?
Thanks 4 Honest input:
D.D.

[CindySue]

Well the way I see it is its YOUR weding and you invite only who you want to invite. Now I know etiquette will disagree with me, I would think on this special of a day, you should only be able to share it with those you really want to.

[bnd94]

I don't think you have to invite them. However if you want the family to get along again one day you may want to consider it. Lots of people hold grudges and sometimes you have to be the bigger person and make peace. Have you asked your Mom what she thinks? She could probably give you the best answer. Ultimately it is up to you though. If you don't want them there then I wouldn't invite them.

[Tiggerprincess]

Thank ya'll! This has been nagging at from the get go....I'm still undecided...But any help is appreciated....
D.D.

[LaceyinPgh]

I am going to flat out tell you, no you certainly do not have to invite them. I have 6 first cousins on my mother's side. I am inviting 2 of them. (That is only because they are teenages who still live at home with their parents.) I don't see or speak to my other cousins. They never make an effort, treat my mom, grandma, and uncles like yesterdays news, and aren't all that great of people. They, thier sig others, and all their kids aren't getting to celebrate with me. I can use those guests' slots for people who apprecaite Sean and I and deserve to be a part of our day.

[Hayz]

I'm only inviting my cousins that I've spent a lot of time with so thats 3 out of 9 cousins and with my FH side we are inviting only 2 as out of the older ones that are our age they will be the only ones in the country at the time. We weren't even going to invited them either but FH doesn't stand up to his mother so I gave in yet again but they are invited to the dance only.

[LizabethDavis]

Should you invite them? Yeah probably. Do you HAVE to invite them? Absolutely not. This is your wedding. We probably won't be inviting a couple of his cousins for various reasons....In the end the decision is yours. Good luck.

[usahgrad]

My FH didn't want to invite a lot of people on his Dad's side of the family due to a history behind it all, so we aren't. The way I look at it is that, if those people's presence is going to hinder the way you feel that day, then don't invite them. Who cares what Miss Manners says? She's not married anyways! :)

[CarlosHoney]

Besides, things always get lost in the mail....;)

[firemansgrl]

These are all really great answers! I have to say that my mom and I are very close and if someone were to disrespect her at my wedding, it would probably hurt her feelings which in turn would bother me as well. No one in the world, family or not, should be given the oppurtunity to make your day any less than what you want it to be.

[WebLady]

You definitely don't HAVE to invite anyone you don't want to be there!

When we were planning our reception (no one was at the wedding but our parents) We wanted to keep in simple and not have a whole bunch of people there. I was worried about hurting feelings at first but then I thought, we don't speak to these people (and they don't speak to us) any other time so why should I care? Why should we spend the extra money inviting all the cousins and extended family that we never see? I didn't need the gifts that bad.

So we ended up inviting 50 people and only 20 came ... but lots of people sent gifts and money even though we didn't register and told people we didn't want gifts.

Besides, some people get offended if they get a shower or wedding invitation and you don't usually talk to them. (I guess not so much family) I know I do and I know others that do as well ... it is sort of like you just want a gift.

~ WebLady :)

[Tiggerprincess]

Thank U......If, in the fortunate event I get to see my FH agsin, I will remember that......
D.D.