Bridesmaid Issues- When to confront?

[nallie]

One of my Bridesmaids and I have been friends for 10 years. Since I've been engaged she's been more of a pain, than a help. I will be 25 when when I get married. She is constantly making comments about how I'm way too young. This bothers me because I know I'm ready, and she's coming from a completely diffrent perspective because she hasn't been in a committed relationship since high school.

To make matters worse, she is always complaining that the bridesmaids dresses are going to cost too much. I have gone out of my way to find something inexpensive that suits everyones body type, and I hardly think $200 cdn dollars for everything is too costly. How do I tell her that her comments are annoying me, without causing a confrontation?

[affiance-events]

One of my Bridesmaids and I have been friends for 10 years. Since I've been engaged she's been more of a pain, than a help. I will be 25 when when I get married. She is constantly making comments about how I'm way too young. This bothers me because I know I'm ready, and she's coming from a completely diffrent perspective because she hasn't been in a committed relationship since high school.

To make matters worse, she is always complaining that the bridesmaids dresses are going to cost too much. I have gone out of my way to find something inexpensive that suits everyones body type, and I hardly think $200 cdn dollars for everything is too costly. How do I tell her that her comments are annoying me, without causing a confrontation?


It sounds to me like your friend is a bit jealous. This happens a lot when women get married.

You might want to ask her "Are you Happy For ME?" If she says yes, or of course I am, or something along those lines then say "so why is that everytime I suggest something, you are always shooting it done? It really hurts my feelings and I really want this to be the happiest time of my life and I really want you to enjoy it with me". I think that is straight forward and it won't hurt her feelings. But it is letting her know that she is in fact hurting yours.

The last two weeks before my wedding my maid of honor told me she was happy for me but didn't know if she could go through being my MOH because I was so happy and she was in a miserable relationship. I knew her well enough to know that I didn't have a problem but I also wondered how many of my other Bridesmaids felt that way. Some women tend to feel jealous or they are maybe they are realizing that time is ticking and you are moving onto another phase of your life and they are no where near that.

Please don't let it bother you. However if she continues to be an annoyance, you might want to exclude her from the wedding before matters get worse. It's stress you don't need and you shouldn't have to worry about making bridesmaids happy. You are the queen, make your dreams come true.

Blessings,
Angela

[robindepaula]

I agree with Angela on this . . . you should confront her about how she is acting. Jealousy plays a big part in weddings - when one friend has finally found happiness, and the other is not in a relationship!

[neeni13]

You have been friends for that long of a time you should definately get to the bottom of it. You don't want this same attitude after you are married and the growing jealousy interferes with your new relationship w/ your husband. Let her know that she will always have you to cry her eyes out on your shoulders and be there for her just maybe not in the same way.

[totalia]

One of my Bridesmaids and I have been friends for 10 years. Since I've been engaged she's been more of a pain, than a help. I will be 25 when when I get married. She is constantly making comments about how I'm way too young. This bothers me because I know I'm ready, and she's coming from a completely diffrent perspective because she hasn't been in a committed relationship since high school.

To make matters worse, she is always complaining that the bridesmaids dresses are going to cost too much. I have gone out of my way to find something inexpensive that suits everyones body type, and I hardly think $200 cdn dollars for everything is too costly. How do I tell her that her comments are annoying me, without causing a confrontation?

Actually, the only person I'd be willing to consider that kind of cost for is my sister. Yes, $200 is alot of money if you don't have the money to spare.

My dress for my mom's wedding was $40. The dress for my sisters was $60. Very reasonable and very pretty.

[usahgrad]

Totalia~

Where did you shop for your dresses? Because I'm looking for inexpensive dresses and have NOT been able to find ANYTHING for under $140 (unless I go to David's Bridal, which is $110, but I've heard bad things). PLEASE impart your wisdom. I've got a mother who has to pay for three bridesmaids dresses. The only way I've seen them as cheap as you've mentioned is if we made them. My mother had her bridesmaids do that and they said, afterwards, they would have preferred spending more for an already made dress because it was such a hassle.

As for the $200 Canadian for everything? I'm considering crossing the border for dresses now! That's really inexpensive. I agree with everyone else, remind her that the reason she said yes was to be there for you on YOUR day.