Need some advice on wedding decision!!!

[Andreesie]

I'm thinking about getting married now, and having my wedding later?? Would this look stupid? Here's the situation...

Okay, I've been engaged for a year. My fiance and I decided that we were going to get married the summer of 2006. As you notice, it is going to be a really long engagement. Recently, my fiance and I have decided to move in together. We know that we are going to be together and get married with no question. The only thing we were trying to do was wait until we graduated from college and get a place. The reason for that was for financial purposes such as wedding expenses and so on. I'm trying to get right with God, so this relationship is very hard for me. So, I'm like why not get married in 2005 and have our wedding that same exact day of 2006. I'm a senior in college graduating December 2005... so it's close! How would I go about doing this??

[DW PHOTOGRAPHY]

Why don't you get married in Jan. That is still after school and a lot sooner than 2006. If you get married now than have the wedding later it is like renewing your vows. And I think it would be to soon in your marriage for that.

[Andreesie]

But, I really wanted a summer wedding. That wouldn't exactly be renewing your vows would it? Lets say, if the guests knew what my intentions were!

[DW PHOTOGRAPHY]

Summer weddigs can be pretty, but also cold, rainy, too sunny, hot etc.. if you go wth a winter wedding you can have snow in your pictures that is really pretty, and you will also know what the weather will be. A lot of weddings are in the summer you could be different and in the long run get what you want. Living with your husband not your boyfriend.

Winter weddings,
horse drawn carriage
cape for your gown
brides maids colors not pastels
there are so many possibilities

[fstopusa]

I'm sure you will get a different opinion on this from everyone you ask, so here is mine for what it's worth. I'll tell you what I have told Brides many times. It is your wedding and you should do what you want.

I have found that couples get torn apart dealing with their weddings and family etc. You should be allowed to have your wedding (one of the biggest days of your life) the way you want it to be. I know there are other peoples interests and feelings to consider as well as budget etc., but you should be able to get close to the weding that is right for you.

If the two of you want to get married ahead of time and then have the wedding later, I think that is OK. It won't be the first time it was done. I also think it is great that you want to be "right with God" in your marriage. There is a shortage of that these days.

You may have to deal with family and friends who don't understand and that is a situation you will have to figure out how to handle. Weddings are very stressfull for some families and they tend to bring out the best and/or the worst in people. It is my hope that if you choose to go this route that it will bring out the best in your family and friends. Let us know what happens.

[Andreesie]

The ideas that I'm receiving are really good. I really appreciate all of them. I will let you know what I do. It makes me feel better to know that some think that it's okay do it this way. I have just never heard of or seen it done so I'm very open to advice and opinions on it.

[robindepaula]

There's nothing wrong with getting married now & having the wedding later. My cousin & his wife did the exact same thing. They didn't have the money for their ideal wedding, so the went to the JP, and about a year later, they had their "real wedding"!

Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

Robin

[nallie]

I respect the fact that you want to honour your faith. I sounds to me that you will be happier if you get married now, and have the wedding later.

If you live together before you get married, you may have regrets later. I think that your guests will understand, because they are your friends and family and should support whichever decision you make.

I guess what I'm saying is do what YOU and your fiance think is right... in the end that's all that matters.

Naz

[Andreesie]

Thank you all so much for relieving me. It makes me feel so much better about the situation just to know that people feel that what I want to do is ok. Thanks to all for the feedback!!!

[neeni13]

THIS IS LONG
I applaud your urgency and knowing what is best in the realm of physical need and wanting to honor your belief. I too was in that situation and family wanted me to wait until Spring. I had already postponed it a month. Well I wanted to get married in the church office, but we didn't finish counceling, or the J P. My people wanted a reception so they paid for it. The thing is, my family does nothing half cocked no matter what the budget so things worked out for about $2,000 I think altogether in about a month and a half. ( they were still trying to get me to wait for April.) We got married two weeks before Christmas. Everyone i know was not there or at the reception which I had at my sister's house but their blessings were just as much felt then and months later when they sent wedding gifts and monetary tokens.
here is a thought. Get married now and send out announcements that the reception will be later. My brother did that. They got married on New Years Eve in the 80's

[RovenRev]

I have solemnized Christian marriages four times this year for couples and later also performed the "public" ceremony. Two of the four, just last weekend.

Your desire is not uncommon at all.

Blessings.

[neeni13]

So dear, what did you and hubby to be decide?
Not pressuring you, just thought that maybe since you are now settled into a routine of school work you may have changed your minds, and a little more reality hit financial wise. Keeping you in good thoughts for your restraints phyical wise. :wink:

[courtnee]

We were going to do this. We wanted to get married Feb 14th 2005 but I wanted a summer wedding so I wanted to get married 2.14.05 but have the actual wedding in june. The more I thought about it the more I went against it.

I said what the heck a winter wedding can be just as pretty and just as great as that summer wedding. However, we dont have to worry about school etc like you do.

Hope you came to a choice that you are happy with cause that is what counts!

[drea]

I have been reading in a lot of magazines that this is a very popular idea to get married by a JP, and then have a real wedding when you were planning on having it. I completely understand your reasoning. I wish you luck.

[courtnee]

There is nothing wrong with getting married quick and having the wedding later on. I seriously thought about it. I just didnt cause I realized in my case I would be busy with work and college for the next several years and figured I would just get it over with. I want it done cause I want to be married!

[Carol]

I also had a long engagement, 1 year 8 months. I also was waiting to graduate grad school. I waited, it wasn't so bad. Some days I was like, why am I waiting so long, and other days I was like this is good, you work out all the left over kinks that may arise during your engagement. It's a life altering thing, you will be different with eachother after the wedding no matter what. I say wait it out, it's all wonderful in the end. Good Luck

[totalia]

Just wondering but are you getting married early just so you can have sex? If that's the case, then maybe you should think this through a little more.

[revdrdeb]

Yes, get married now. Make it legal before the eyes of God and a couple friends. Then you will not be living in sin. Have the big wedding when you can afford it. Living together w/o marriage is not a good thing. It's not weird. Its like running off to Los Vegas with out the Vegas. I am in California or close to southern Oregon and Reno Nevada if you need someone to officiate at this.