wedding postponed....*this is a good thing*

[meganrenae]

My FH and I decided today that we are going to postpone the wedding 1 year, at least, from June 06 to 07. We are struggling financially and are just getting ourselves emotionally stable. During a long counselling session today we realized that we need to be completely dependant upon each other and NOT mommy and daddy :) (am I glad he realized this FINALLY!)...

well... we told his parents tonight and they made comments about how we will never be "ready" and it will do us no good.... while my parents did nothing but tell us how proud they are of us that we are really thinking this through.

not that we aren't getting married... or that we don't love each other... but we just want to make sure we are stable, both as individuals and as a couple.

We know that we shouldn't care what his family is saying... but it hurts both of us that they think we are stupid for waiting... anyone have advice on how to forget about what they're saying and focus on what we know we need to do???

[CarlosHoney]

Congrats! Sometimes, this is REALLY what a couple needs. Wedding planning can be very stressful, and taking a step back can give you the chance to work on any problems that you as individuals, or as a couple have.

Glad to hear that you've made such an adult decision! :D

[usahgrad]

Ok, no offense to your groom's family (especially since they sound very reminiscent of mine) but MAN THEY ARE PUSHY!!!!!

When it comes down to it...YOU TWO are the only two people in the couple. YOU TWO should do what YOU TWO think is right, nevermind what everyone else says! Congratulations...it takes a LOT of balls to make this kind of decision (plus it solves that pregnant bridesmaid you had too :))! Good luck. And don't forget to hang around here...just cause you have an extra year doesn't mean you can't still be getting ideas! :) Plus, we'll miss you if you aren't here for a whole year!

[sstark1218]

I agree! If you aren't ready, don't rush into it. His parents don't know everything about you or your relationship, so they just want you to do it now and be done, right? Well, only you and your FH can decide what is best for yourselves. I think that waiting is a great idea. It can be a very stressful time, as the other girls said, and sometimes you need to just relax and spend some time with each other - no planning involved.

[bnd94]

Hey we postponed a year too. We were going to get married this October but we moved it to Sept 30 06. It is so nice to have time to plan exactly what I want now. My family and his were pretty supportive, but if they weren't it wouldn't have mattered to me. I think you made the right decision for the two of you. And that is what matters. His family should see this too eventually.

BTW: I see you have 10 posts already but I didn't see you earlier, so WELCOME to Onewed!! I hope you stick around even though you are postponing. You probably aready know you can get some great ideas here. I am sure you can contribute alot of great ideas too!! :D

I love Oregon. I am so jealous of you!! I want to live there myself. I think we are going to go there for our honeymoon! :wink:

[CindySue]

That was a big decision......my hats off to you. Good Luck.

[allydawn0040]

It sounds like you two are really focusing on building a long, strong, enduring marriage. And if you don't do that then it won't matter how long you postpone the wedding it won't work. I am so thankful to hear that your family is supportive of your descision! My hats off to you. Blessings allydawn0040

[LizabethDavis]

My mother wishes I would wait. :rolleyes: Go figure. I think that was a very adult thing for the both of you to do.

I don't think it was very polite of your FH's family to say such a thing to you. Guess they don't want their son making adult decisions? I am at a loss for that one.

[As You Wish]

Wow, what a difficult decision. I am sorry it was made even more difficult by your sweetie’s family. Remember, as angry and hurt by there comments as you are, his emotions are about 10 times what you are feeling.

My husband and I have a rule- He deals with problems created by his family and I deal with mine. Also- I don’t get to complain about his family in front of him unless he starts and visa versa. It works for us.