Ugggghhhh!

[septemberbride06]

I know I post alot about family drama....but here is the topper...okay so yesterday we found something disturbing with my bank acct. and since we don't have a computer I called my dad and asked if we could come over to use his, he said that was fine..so we did!
I finally figured out the problem after 2 hours of fighting with my bank, and we decided to stay for awhile and hang-out. After about a n hour or so my dad started feeling a little quesy (sp?) so he went to lay down in his room. Me, Joe, my step-mom, and my brother were all in the living room with my son Christian, and all of the sudden we hear this noise. We all jumoed up at the same time and ran to my son who had a toy Maraca (sp?) in his hand and had stuck it up to the OLD fan my dad had sitting on a small table (this fan was probably made like in the 40's or domething...it was metal with big gaps between the blades..I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about), anyway here comes my dad flying from his room, grabbed my son and started yelling and cursing us all for noit watching him. I was totally amazed at what he said..these were pretty harsh things. So, before any more was said I decided it was time to go, but he just kept yelling, then he started throwing things!!! He upset my son (he was screaming hystericlly). I told him he needed to go back to bed, he slammed the door, and said "F" you! I said "dad, that is inappropriate, and I'm not going to tolerate you talking to me or my family this way" and began to get my son ready! Then, he started mouthing again, so I told him that with the way he was behaving he was not about to watch my son again, and we left..I haven't heard from them since (this was just Sunday this happened)..I now have a family friend watching him. She is only charging me $50.00/week, but still we are really hurting for the money!

My dad is on some pain pills for alot of surgeries he has had, but has bayone ever heard of them causing people to get mean?
I'm really scared to think that he has watched my son for almost a year now!
Any suggestions PLEASE!!??:whoa:

[BriansBride07]

So sorry that your father did this to his grandson. It was totally uncalled for and you did the right thing by removing your son from the situation. Besides your son is only 11mo. old and i'm sure it was not done intentionally.

As for the meds yes it can happen it has happened to me before. I won't act as harshly as your dad did. But I have some outbursts that are uncalled for at the time. BUT this is no excuse for him treating your son or you in this manner.

I hope it all resolves it self soon. I understand that you and Joe are strapped for cash. But to be honest $50 a week is very cheap for a babysitter. Even if it's a family friend.

[ladymelissa]

Your dad shouldn't have used that language nor should he have thrown things, that is how people accidentally get hurt. But in order to try and understand where he was coming from I do know that pain pills can make you very nauseous and he was hurting from the initial pain for which he had to take the pills. It's a really bad combination and he could have just lashed out b/c there were 3 adults watching the baby and none of them were watching closely enough. The baby was in danger and his relaxation time was completely disturbed.

I would suggest talking to your dad and seeing if he is able to continue to watch the baby. You should also take into consideration his normal personality, we all have our moments and this may be an isolated incident only you know the answer to that. I don't know how often he has to take those pills, but it may not be a good idea to leave a child with someone who has to take heavy pain pills as the pills can make one very drowsy akin to being drunk. Maybe he doesn't take them when he is the sole child care giver, but you will have to talk to him and find out which pills he takes and in what doses. There is a big difference between Tylenol and Oxycontin.

[septemberbride06]

he does have a bad temper, but it was just the way he flew out of the room and just started lashing at all of us. He made me feel like I wasn't a good enough mother...I know we all should have been paying a lot more attention, but that doesn't give him the right to talk to me and Joe that way!
I think he takes 2 different pills once a day....Ummm..I can't remember what they are. He has some nerve damage so one is for that, then one is for pain.
I talked to my step-mom a little and she said that when he does take these pills and he is just starting them he gets this way!
I'm just at a loss for what to do from here. I don't feel comfortable with him watching him now...I'll always be scared that if he gets mad he will explode at my son. I think the main thing that p&$$@* me off is that he kept telling the baby "ohhhh..I'm so sorry they wern't watching you" and so on...:censored: .

[ladymelissa]

I'm just at a loss for what to do from here. I don't feel comfortable with him watching him now...I'll always be scared that if he gets mad he will explode at my son. I think the main thing that p&$$@* me off is that he kept telling the baby "ohhhh..I'm so sorry they wern't watching you" and so on... .

Well if you don't feel comfortable, like Christina said $50 per week is a steal. It's $10 a day, you can barely feed a child on that and I have heard of some paying hundreds of dollars per week for childcare.

With all due respect your dad has a point, you are lucky all your son made was a loud noise when he could have lost a finger or an eye or something. Your dad may have a temper at times, but he does sound like he truly cares for his grandson and if your baby never came back with any sort of physical bruises or doesn't seem to have mental or emotional stress when he goes to your dad's house I doubt your dad is being anything but caring around your son.

[jeni740]

Well if you don't feel comfortable, like Christina said $50 per week is a steal. It's $10 a day, you can barely feed a child on that and I have heard of some paying hundreds of dollars per week for childcare.

With all due respect your dad has a point, you are lucky all your son made was a loud noise when he could have lost a finger or an eye or something. Your dad may have a temper at times, but he does sound like he truly cares for his grandson and if your baby never came back with any sort of physical bruises or doesn't seem to have mental or emotional stress when he goes to your dad's house I doubt your dad is being anything but caring around your son.

I agree with Melissa, babies especially around a open metal fan need to be watched very closely at all times. My sister pays 200.00 a week so 50.00 is quite a steal. I think your dad was just a little quick tempered but he ws definetly not doing it for any other reason besides he loves his grandson.

[septemberbride06]

I am continuing to take him to my friend, so that at least until everything settles down between us I can afford child care. The thing I like about him going to my friend's house is that she has 2 kids of her own (soon to be 3), and her son is 18 months..mine is almost 12, so they are great play mates according to her!
Hopefully everything will work out in the end, but my dad's temper will HAVE to end! I feel very disrespected, and hurt that he would talk to me, my husband, and even his wife that way!
Thank you all for your opinions, they are greatly appreciated!;)