OMG!! Did you guys see this in the news!!!!

[bnd94]

I just don't know what to say! This is soooo sad.

FORT LAUDERDALE, Florida (AP) -- Authorities are searching for the parents of a 3-month-old girl who died last year after her parents allegedly gave her lethal doses of vodka to quiet her crying, police said.

Makeisha Dantus died in 2004 but her parents were not charged until last month. By that time, they had disappeared.

The couple, Mackenson Dantus and Mardala Derival, are wanted on charges of aggravated manslaughter. Authorities said they believe the couple, both Haitian immigrants, were still in Florida.

Detective Katherine Collins said Tuesday that the delay in charging the couple stemmed in part from their lack of cooperation.

"The last thing you're expecting is for a child to die of alcohol poisoning at age 3 months," she said. "A homicide case is very delicate, and they take time, unfortunately."

Makeisha's father called 911 on February 14, 2004, because the baby was unresponsive, Collins said. The baby died at the scene.

According to a police report, the parents told officers that for about a month they had fed their daughter a bottle filled with a mixture of water, sugar and vodka to help her sleep.

Small quantities of alcohol have historically been used to quiet crying babies, but authorities said the amount fed to Makeisha was extreme.

The Broward County Medical Examiner's Office determined that the infant had a blood alcohol level of 0.47 percent. The legal limit for drivers in Florida is 0.08 percent.

Former Medical Examiner Dr. Ronald Wright said that for a baby to ingest that much alcohol would be the equivalent of a 160-pound adult drinking 18 beers.

According to a police report, the final autopsy showed that the child had been fed fatal doses of alcohol shortly before her death and her liver indicated severe buildup of excess fat due to alcohol consumption.

[CarlosHoney]

:cry: Oh, no!! That's terrible!!

I think I'm really going to cry!

[sstark1218]

That is horrible! They need to catch those people!

[usahgrad]

It's sad that this type of thing isn't as shocking as it could be. After Yates and Laney, it's becoming a normal occurance. Let's not forget the lady who cut the arms off her child to make it stop crying. What's wrong with some people? I hope they find these people and make them spend the rest of their lives in prison. Grrr!

[CindySue]

Sad part is they get away with it. Laney wasnt convicted and wasnt Yates conviction overturned?

[usahgrad]

Laney was declared temporarily insane and Yates conviction was turned into an temporary insanity declaration as well. That means that they get a slap on the wrist, a few years in a mental hospital, and counseling for a long time and that's it...these women drowned/stoned their children...it's infuriating!

[CindySue]

Yeah and watch......these people that killed their baby with vodka will get away with it too. As frustrated as I get at my kids, I could NEVER picture my life without them.

[usahgrad]

I couldn't imagine doing that to a child period, not just my children. I just don't understand it...

[LaceyinPgh]

I'm not surprised. After just a couple years working in a public school system, I have seen some awful things. What the hell goes through some people's minds? Nothing gives you the right to hurt a child.

[allydawn0040]

This is just heartbreaking!! I agree with the pp's, as fustrated as I get with my children, I have 3 & one has ADHD, I could NEVER NEVER hurt them. And that doesnt' apply to just my kids, any child! Where is their sense of morality? Why not call a friend, neighbor, relative, crisis hotline???!!! This kind of stuff just makes me want to vomit!! I am so frustrated that you need a license and background check to be a childcare provider, a license to drive a vehicle, a license and background check to work for the state, TIPS certification to be a waitress or bartender (you see where I am going with this) but anyone, including mentally impaired, child molesters, people with proven abuse records (again you see where I am going with this) can have a child - no questions asked. I know that no one is perfect, heck I'm far from it but with all of the crazy stuff that parents are doing to their own children begs the question "how can we prevent child abuse and neglect". Unfortunately on the news it is NOT uncommon to hear how some parent gave their kid(s) something to quiet them or left them alone while they went out or haven't feed them or haven't changed their diaper or gave them cigarette burns - the list just keeps going and going. Ok, I'll get off my soap box now but I just have to say my two cents worth. May God lay his hand on all of the children that are in danger. Blessings allydawn0040

[usahgrad]

Ally...just a side note. If your child has not been actually tested for ADHD, please have him/her tested. I know it's a hefty price to pay, but when my sister was younger, she was diagnosed with ADD; she wasn't officially tested until a few years ago when she tested negative for it. However, as a side effect of the mis-diagnosis and the years of medication, she now has seizures and convulsions. PLEASE...and this goes out to EVERYBODY...don't mark your child as ADD or ADHD just because they're a little hyperactive and don't let some doctor who's paycheck you paying to do it either...get you child officially tested. Ok, I'm off my soapbox now.

[allydawn0040]

Thanks for your concern Kelli. We actually did have him tested. We spent several hours a day for a week solid at a education center that tested him for everything - learning disabilities, hearing problems, vision issues, depression, all kinds of stuff that could be causing him problems in school. I knew he has been "hyper" since he was an infant which I always just dealt with but two years ago when he was in 3rd grade it just got out of control especially at school. It turns out he is ADHD and also has a slight speech impediment and situational depression (ok, tell me who doesnt' have that!) He is on an extremely low dose of methylinadate (only 15 mg) in the morning and goes to councling once in awhile when I see his depression coming on (usually happens when he is away from his dad for a long period - his dad and i are divorced and his dad goes to CA in the winter to work). This doesn't make his hyperness go away but it calms him down enough to actually concentrate somewhat in school even though he is still way more hyper than "normal" (i hate that term) kids. His teachers have been great too by allowing flexibility for him - for example he may need to stand and bounce while doing his assingment versus sitting at his desk. Again I thank you for your concern as there are just too many parents that don't have the time or patience to deal with kids who are just kids without any disability so the parents medicate them. That is so frustrating and heartbreaking!!! Blessings allydawn0040

[LaceyinPgh]

Thanks for your concern Kelli. We actually did have him tested. We spent several hours a day for a week solid at a education center that tested him for everything - learning disabilities, hearing problems, vision issues, depression, all kinds of stuff that could be causing him problems in school. I knew he has been "hyper" since he was an infant which I always just dealt with but two years ago when he was in 3rd grade it just got out of control especially at school. It turns out he is ADHD and also has a slight speech impediment and situational depression (ok, tell me who doesnt' have that!) He is on an extremely low dose of methylinadate (only 15 mg) in the morning and goes to councling once in awhile when I see his depression coming on (usually happens when he is away from his dad for a long period - his dad and i are divorced and his dad goes to CA in the winter to work). This doesn't make his hyperness go away but it calms him down enough to actually concentrate somewhat in school even though he is still way more hyper than "normal" (i hate that term) kids. His teachers have been great too by allowing flexibility for him - for example he may need to stand and bounce while doing his assingment versus sitting at his desk. Again I thank you for your concern as there are just too many parents that don't have the time or patience to deal with kids who are just kids without any disability so the parents medicate them. That is so frustrating and heartbreaking!!! Blessings allydawn0040

It sounds like your son is very lucky to have doctors, teachers, and parents who are willing to work with treating his ADHA as opposed to just pill popping to cover it up. I hate when I see kids who are just drugged instead of taught alternative strategies to deal with their disorder (if they even have one).

[usahgrad]

Glad to see I'm not the only one who is frustrated by this. I work in a mental health facility and I swear there are so many over-treated, under-diagnosed people here...not just kids. Everybody who has ever shed one tear is depressed, anybody who has ever experienced the slightest mood swing is manic depressive, and quick! Here's some more pills! Hey, I could be a psychiatrist...

It's SO frustrating.

[allydawn0040]

I agree with you guys. That's why we took David to the education center where there are peditricians, counclers and physcologists who are involved in the testing. We didn't want to go just to the peditrician because we know they are not able to fully diagnois everything that could potentially be wrong (like learning disabilities) in one visit so most of them just give you a prescription. We want the best for our son so we choose to go through the ENTIRE testing, which was very very costly and time consuming I might add but how can you put a price on someone you love. I LOVE our peditrician and the fact that he agrees with giving the absolute minimal dose just to bring him down a notch instead of doping him up. Like I said his dose is only 15 mg a day (normal dose for kids with ADHD is 40 mg per day and most of them don't even have ADD or ADHD or ADH!) But I don't thinks it's just the drs at fault, I truly believe people, most of them anyway, want the pill. A quick easy fix instead of actually dealing with their problems or child(ren). Like my Mom, God bless her, she is bipolar (and trust me she has had a TON of testing and councling ever since I can remember) but she rather take a pill than go for a walk in the sun (sunlight is a natural combatent to depression) or work out cause she's depressed about her weight or go to councling on a regular basis to completely work through the issues she has been carrying around since 11 years old. UUGGH so frustrating but we can only live our lives and no one elses so...... Blessings, allydawn0040

[usahgrad]

Your son is very lucky to have a mom like you.

I can't be mad at my mother; my sister was "diagnosed" at the beginning of the dawn of Attention Deficit disorders...

I can't even believe some of the disorders they have out there now...to me it sounds like as much of a business as this wedding thing is...

Don't tell the drug reps and psychiatrists out there, but I think there might be some normal people left...by normal I mean, undiagnosed, of course. :)

[allydawn0040]

LOL! I agree!!! I love my Mom too and although she completely frustrates me I do understand that she is not totally right emotionally. I'm not sure if her diagnosis of bipolar is correct or if the meds she is on are correct for her but I can tell you after 32 years of being around her something is definately off. I have watched her with medication, without medication, with councling, without concling and any combonation there of and it has never been easy for her to deal with life or for me to deal with her. Her sister is diagnosised bipolar as well.

I have been diagnosised with clinical depression but whatever! I don't take any meds. I am fine, sure sometimes I get sad, depressed but who doesn't? I went to a few councling sessions to work through some issues I was struggling with and got slapped with that label and a presciption. Go figure! Didn't take the meds though. How about "just needed to talk through some problems with an objective person?" couldn't that be a diagnosis? UUUHGGGHHH!

Mental health is definately a business just like weddings. I mean come on, chronic fatique syndrome? That's the diagnosis when you just don't have the "ump" to do anything but there is no medical reason why. Excuse me, but isnt' that LAZY? Now it's a disability? I just shake my head. Moral and work ethics have slipped so far for the American people that I am just glad that I won't be around in 100 years to see how bad it gets.

Enough venting for now I guess. Sorry if I rawled anyone else up. Just my two cents worth. Blessings allydawn0040

[LaceyinPgh]

I went to my doctor a couple of years ago complaining about not being able to sleep at night. I could drop over any time during the day but as soon as I went to bed at night I was tossing and turning and wide awake. I was right in the middle of a huge transition in life so I figured I might need a little something to calm me down for a night or two (otc sleeping pills didn't work) just to "retrain" myself that night time meant sleepy time. So I go in and talk to my family physician, I'm not suffering a bout of insomnia oh no, I am manically depressed. He tells me this and I just look at him and say, "I don't feel depressed. I feel pretty content in life, I'm just sleepy." Oh no, no no insominia is a classic sign of depression. (Ok I buy that but insomnia is also a classic sign of freaking stress and insomnia!) Well, ok, but I still don't "feel" depressed. We argue back and forth and fine I accept that I am depressed, (but I don't feel depressed!) So he writes me this prescription for some medium dose anti depressant that I am supposed to take for two weeks and then come back in for reassessment. Then I ask, well can I get a referal for a therapist from you for my insurance. (Because if I am depressed I obvisously should be talking with someone about my issues. Maybe they can help me actually find those issues?) He tells me no, just take the medication and it will take care of itself. Well, I get very angry at this. But I decide that the man did complete medical school so maybe I should try this medication. When I go back in 2 weeks I can bring up the therapy thing again. So, I start the medication. I wasn't depressed before but as soon as I started those pills I was a basket case. I couldn't sit still, I still couldn't sleep, I was jumpy and nervous, and I stopped eating. After about 3 or 4 days I realized, I WASN'T DEPRESSED, I WAS SLEEPY!!!! I hadn't had a solid night's rest in like 2 months. So I flushed the pills and let nature take its course. Guess what, I have been fine ever since.

The moral of the story is that doctors make more money giving you medication than helping you with your problem, It outrages me to see the conditions of some of my studnets who are ADHA/ADD, emotionally disturbed, depressed, or something else so they are just drugged because no one wants to actually think outside of the box and realize that not all kids are made to learn in the enviroment of the American school system, some mature slower than others and can't sit still for 45 minutes, some need more attention from mom and dad. It is outrageous. We in our society are so used to not working for anything and getting our instant gratification that we are actually refuse to make ourselves better.

[allydawn0040]

Well said Lacey. I couldn't agree more.

[CarlosHoney]

Yeah, my little brother Mike, he has ADD. My mom claims that they tested him when he was little and they said that he didn't have it, but there's just NO WAY. This kid has been bouncing off the walls for 16 years straight.

He used to have a problem wetting the bed, too. So, the doctors wanted to put him on meds for the bed wetting, and the 'hyperactivity'... :wink: My mom said no way. 'If you're not going to diagnose him with a problem, though I know he has one, you can take that prescription and....' :D

So, she worked with him. He was about 7 or 8 at this point. He went to bed really early, cut back on junk food and refined sugars, no drinks after 6pm. She would get up every day at 3:30 to wake him up to go tot he bathroom, and he'd go back to sleep. He got better.

But, now he's 16, and my Dad got him tested at one of those centers. He does have ADD. So, he's on meds now. I don't like it, but it's not my child. Not much I can do about it. He's on a relatively low dose, and it's some newer medication that isn't a stimulant, so at least he's not on Ritalin.

It's sick that people are inconveinenced by a hyperactive child, and instead of thinking about how they need to be flexible to meet their needs, the child is put on meds to fit into the parents ideal. :(

[usahgrad]

Here here!

My next door neighbor had problems with her oldest son in school and saw a doctor about it. The doctor gave him all sorts of labels and pills. Well, when that wasn't working and he was failing, she decided to hold him back for a year...VOILA! Problem solved...he hasn't had any problem since (and he wasn't on the pills either).

Doctors get all sorts of things from Drug Reps (believe me, I'm using a Adderall pen to address my wedding invitations because they write beautifully and they're free from work); it's a you scratch my back I'll scratch yours kind of situation with no reguard for the people stuck in between. The drug reps do bring good cookies though...I'm never going to fit in my wedding dress!

Wow! It's so good to know that I'm not the only one completely frustrated with this overmedication-slap-a-label-on-it society. Thanks, this really made me feel better. :)

[CindySue]

While I dont know if I would want my kids medicated but not all of the meds are bad. Yes they are very over used, but I have a friend whose son has ADHD. She didnt want him medicated so with therapists and lots of books, she was going to try to work with him herself. She really tried. She did EVERYTHING exactly as she was supposed to. He was failing ALL of his classes because he couldnt concentrate. He tried the concentration exercises but they didnt help. He described it like a movie in his head that he couldnt turn off. No matter how hard he tried he couldnt stay focused. They finally decided to try meds. Im not sure what it is hes on, but it isnt a simulant, and it a low dose. Hes been on it for 2 years now and is a straight A student. He says he doesnt feel different on the meds, but when he wants to focus on something he can without his mind working 90 miles an hour.

[LaceyinPgh]

While I dont know if I would want my kids medicated but not all of the meds are bad. Yes they are very over used, but I have a friend whose son has ADHD. She didnt want him medicated so with therapists and lots of books, she was going to try to work with him herself. She really tried. She did EVERYTHING exactly as she was supposed to. He was failing ALL of his classes because he couldnt concentrate. He tried the concentration exercises but they didnt help. He described it like a movie in his head that he couldnt turn off. No matter how hard he tried he couldnt stay focused. They finally decided to try meds. Im not sure what it is hes on, but it isnt a simulant, and it a low dose. Hes been on it for 2 years now and is a straight A student. He says he doesnt feel different on the meds, but when he wants to focus on something he can without his mind working 90 miles an hour.

See, that is an actual problem that warrants medication. He falls into the 15% of kids who have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHA that actually have ADD/ADHD. He had an actual chemical imbalance that forced him to not be able to concentrate. That is like people who have seasonal effective depression. My aunt has that. As soon as the time changes in the fall and the days get shorter she goes from a completely happy go lucky fun person to someone who sits in her house and cries all day long. Then, as soon as spring hits, she is back to her merry self. What happens is that her body can't adjust to the lack of sunlight. So, she has this little lamp that mimics sun light that she stares at a couple minutes a day then she takes a pill. It makes her life tolerable from October to about April.

I have no problems with a kid being on meds if they need it. Heaven knows I have had a few in my classroom that if they weren't on meds I probably would have choked them at some point during the year. It is just a matter of realizing that some kids have too much energy to sit and concentrate so we zombiefy them to fit into that mold. But there are kids who erally do have something going on in their little heads and they need some help balancing all of that out.

[allydawn0040]

I got to tell you ladies, finding comfort regarding the ADHD with my son was the last thing I ever expected from this chat forum but I got to tell ya that I feel so much better knowing that there are other people who feel as strongly as I do about having kids tested, medicated ONLY if neccessary and then at the LOWEST possible dose, pills handed out to easily by Drs and so on and so forth. Like I said, my son is diagnosised with ADHD and on an extremely low dose, which I might add we take him off of the meds for the summer. No need since he can play and use up as much energy as he had (although summers are very hard for me!! But he's so worth it!) Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts and stories. I get so tired of hearing people comment on how "hyper" my boy is and have I looked into it. I just smile and think "If you only knew". I don't care how hyper he is as long as he can concentrate enough to do his studies at school. I look at it like this: God created him and God makes no mistakes. Am I a lucky mom or what? Blessings, allydawn0040

[rainbowtreat]

I have a 6 yr old and a 4 yr old. My daughter ( the 6 yr old ) can sit still to save her life. She is always doing something. At the table she is always movign around and I have to keep after her to sit still and eat. I jsut keep teller her in a way that is not beign mean. Just a reminder. She makes more of a mess at dinner sime then her brother. But I have never heard any teacher say anything about her being too active. She says the thing she likes the best at school is learning. And she has taken a love of reading since the has learned how to. She will sit and read for a good lenth of time. But then she is right back to her bouncing off the walls again till it is bed time. I just know she is being a kid. Every child has a different personalties. And deal with things differentlly. I have never actually dealt with a child who has been labled ADD or any of those. I worked in child care for about 7 years ( mainly with the 2 yr olds ) The only child that had a problem was the down syndrom child i took care of. The dr had her on alot of diffreent meds that were helping her alot. I have dealt with hyper kids, a child that would bang his head into his pillow till he fell asleep, kids who would never fall sleep, kids who would bite and the quiet kids who wold never talk in a group. There is a whole world of different people. Kids are no different.

[allydawn0040]

Praise God rainbowtreat! You are so right. No need to make kids conform to "normal". I say let them be who they were created to be as long as it is not harmful to others or themselves. Thanks again ladies for the stories, it truely comforts me to know I am not alone in this! Blessings allydawn0040

[LizabethDavis]

OH my gosh that is so horrible. How can people get away with doing that?

[usahgrad]

They plead insanity. Oh I HATE that plea!

I mean, ok, I know that there are some people out there who are insane enough to do crazy stuff. BUT I don't think that gives them any right to get a lesser sentence for it. No, they may not have known what they were doing was wrong, but spending the rest of their lives in a cushy mental hospital is not going to show them that it was wrong. ARGH!

[allydawn0040]

The one I HATE is Temporary Insanity!!! :x So you convieniently went "temporarly insane" only for about 30 minutes (or whatever time frame) just long enough to commit this vicious act (murder, rape, whatever) but now you are fine. Always have and been and always will, well except for that 30 minutes, just dandy. No danger to society, no reason to worry that you might repeat your actions. I can't even believe this is a viable defense. ARRGGHHH! Ok, I'm off my soap box now. allydawn0040