LaceyinPgh
11-25-2005, 06:09 PM
Ok, so on Wednesday we had Thanksgiving dinner at our house for our parents. Then my mom calls, she won't be able ot make it. Apparently my stepdad (they have been having problems) came home from work deathly ill and she was taking him to the emergency room. Well now, I can't complain about that. If he is sick, he needs her more than I do. Just a sied note, they have been having problems. She wasn't going to bring him. He is also a control freak sometimes. Well, after she decideds that she isn't going, changes out of her clothes, and gets ready to head to the hospital with him, he miraculously recovers.
Anyway, Sean's parents show up and my dad and stepmother show up. Everyone is sitting around and enjoying themselves while dinner finishes up. So we sit down to dinner and it starts. The threshold between my living room and dining room must have some mysterious power because Sean's mother suddenly turns into a royal b i t c h! She sits down and all heck breaks out.
First, she runs the Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Charity in Western PA. Good for her! Well, one of their big fundraisers the last few years has been a gift wrap booth at a local shoppiong mall. Well, this year the mall has decided that SIDS has profitted off of the booth for 4 years, it is someone elses' turn to do so. The mall bids it out and gives it to the Humane Society. So she is railing on the Humane Society. I mean she won't shut up. Meanwhile my dad, stepmother, and I are just giving each other looks. We all happen to be members of the Humane Society. But we are all pretty mild mannered. So we just give each other a look and keep out mouths shut because it is Thanksgiving.
Then, my FMIL starts on my that my engagement picture WILL be on our Christmas cards this year. A little side note, Sean and I always take a picture of Ruffles and Ellie and put it on our cards. Then she starts on my that next year's Christmas card WILL be our wedding portrait. Ummmm...excuse me, are they not MY Christmas cards? She starts to talk about how they were making fun of people like me (is her son's name not on the same card by the way) on television. She just keeps going on. Sean and his dad are trying to tell her to shut up. My stepmother is trying to change the subject. My dad is just sitting there eating because he knows that if she doesn't get herself under control soon that I am going to say something. Finally, I have had enough. So I look at my dad and I say, "I was unaware that what I put on my f u c k i n g CHristmas card was anyone's business but my own. If I want to put a picture of my naked a s s on there, I will." He starts to laugh because he knows that it is about to hit the fan. Thankfully FMIL got the idea on that one and stayed silent for a couple of minutes. Things resumed and everyone started to relax.
Then it starts again. To me, any type of political discussion does not belong at the dinner table, especially on a holiday where you might not know how everyone thinks. But, my FMIL is one of those people who listen to super liberal radio shows (which are as bad as super conservative talk shows) on NPR and thinks that means that she knows everything. You should note that everyone at the table really does not like our President. The opinion around the table is pretty much the same. Regardless, political discussion is something that you don't do around the Thanksgiving dinner table. So what does FMIL start to discuss, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. She is talking about how people should refuse to go, they are unjust wars, we don't belong there, we are getting what we deserve for putting our nose in other peoples' business, those boys over there shouldn't have to go, they only joined the army for money for shcool. Well, did I forget to mention that my dad is in the military? He did an 18 month tour in Afghanistan himself. Now Sean knows that I will ignore someone saying something about me but when you say something about my parents or friends, I will turn around and snatch the eyeballs right out of your head. Well my stepmom is getting pretty p.o'd by this point so she starts to just clear the table and clean up the kitchen. My dad who tries to explain that you know full well what can happen when you join the military and why what he did was so important starts to get REALLY ****ed off that she is degrading the job that he did. My dad is far calmer than I am so he just excuses himeself and walks upstairs where he checks his email. Sean realizes that I am about to jump across the table and beat his mother with a turkey leg so he leashes up the dogs for us to take out because they have to "pee". I don't know what his dad said to his mother but after we get back in she looks like she calmed down.
Well, now she realizes that she has us all worked up. I also see that she purposefully has to be causing trouble at this point. I also thank God that my mom didn't come up because she is no where near as calm as my dad and I. So, now it is time for my delicious homemade pumpkin pie and my crappy store bought chocolate pie. (See the above post about why I have to have a crappy chocolate pie instead of the delicious pecan one that I made.) Anyway, my fmil must have figured out the only way to **** me off past the realms of type of self control. So she starts with it. She starts about her friends cat who has cancer and how stupid her friend is for getting the cat treatment. She would just put the cat to sleep and go buy another. At this point my dad and stepmother actually get upset enough that they just excuse themselves and leave. Now the fmil actually upset my father enough to drive him out of MY home where my father has done more for her son and I than she ever has done. She goes on bragging about how the poodle that my FH and his sisters had growing up never went to the vet. She got her shots at the firehall where it was free (she sold real estate and FFIL is a doctor- I can see where the need the FREE shots.). If her dog was ever sick enough that it needed to go to the vet she would jsut have it put down.
Well now it is time for a side story. My Scottie, Ruffles, was hit by a car when she was about 3. She got out of the yard and was trying to get across the street to play with the neighbor kids. Anyway, the car actually ran over her front legs and head. My mom grabbed her and ran her to the vet because she just figured they would put Ruffles to sleep. (I was away on a school trip and my parents were devestated because they had no idea what to tell me.) Anyway, our vet was a miracle worker. He thought that since Ruffles brain wasn't actually damaged, just swollen from the trauma that with surgery and love she would make an almost total recovery. She did. She had several facial and leg surgeries and spent weeks in the doggie hospital (where I visited EVERYDAY). But she walked out the same happy, barking, tough little terrier that she always was. The only problems that she has is that she can't hear and her one eye tear duct was damaged so it doesn't drain properly. (she is 12 now by the way) But she is still my Ruffles. This wasn't by the way a cheap procedure. We were lucky that my father had a very good job and we could afford this. But, Ruffles was a part of the family. My parents were as distraught about possibly losing her as I was.
Back to the holiday now....I explain this to my fmil. Ruffles is sitting right under my chair patiently waiting her Thanksgiving pie crust to wash down her little plate that she and Ellie get made for them at every holiday. She looks at me and says, "I would have just had the dog put down and bought a new one, why would I waste the money." Well, she did, because now IT IS WAR! My two dogs are the world to me. I understand that not everyone feels that way. But Ruffles and I are super close because I got her the day before my grandpa died. Everyone was so crazy at that time that the only person I had to cry to was her. Ruffles lies with me when I am sick or have a migraine. She never moves or makes a sound while she is there. She sleeps on my feet at night and keeps them warm. She (and Ellie) greet me at the door with little wagging tails and wet noses when I come home. They don't care if I am in a bad mood, or look like hell, or anything else. They are just happy that I am there. I feel the same way about them. It is total unconditional love and complete loyalty, something we humans could learn from. I have had Ruffles longer than I have had Sean....if I had to pick between them Sean wouldn't like the outcome. My fmil knows this. And she knows that she just hit the mother load. So does Sean and his dad because they both jump up the second that she says those words. I just say, "You need to leave." Sean's dad is like, "Yeah we should go, it is late. We have to be up early tomorrow you know." And, Sean appears with their coats. This woman is sitting there throwing a fit that I jsut kicked her out of her SON'S house. (Apparently I don't pay for half of everything anymore....WHOO HOO that will make Christmas shopping way easier!) Then they fianlly leave. I don't walk them to the door. Sean comes running into the kitchen apologizing and complaining about her. He has to call my dad and apologize. Thankfully dad is cool about it.
But in all, I don't think I will stand up for my fmil anymore beause regardless, it is war. By the way, for Christmas she is getting a $50 donation to the Western PA Humane Soceity from Ruffles and Ellie. (Yea I am that petty and evil...but it will be really funny too because she won't be able to say a thing about without making herself look like a total *** in front of the entire family on Christmas. Hahaha!)
On Thanksgiving Day we go to visit Sean's grandparents for a couple minutes. They live in an old folks home and don't get to leave too often. It also is their anniversary and his grandma's birthday. So when we get there, Sean's sisters and BIL are already there visiting as are his parents. Well, I have been waiting for this. I am jsut waiting for his mother to say something, because I declared war and now it is on, baby!
Well as soon as we arrive she looks up from the couch and says hello then turns to finish her conversation with Sean's sister....ok, no apology yet...maybe in a few minutes. Sean's dad pulls us into the bedroom and starts to apologize for fmil's behavior the night before. Well, it is nice that he is saying something, but he didn't do it. It add insult to injury he then tries to justify her behavior. Apparenlty the night before was her sister's birthday. Her sister died of ovarian cancer about 10 years before this. At this point Sean and I have ahd enough of running behind BOTH of his parents all the time just ignoring when they want to be *******s. So I finally say something. I explain that I am very sorry that fmil lost her sister so horribly. I understand how close they are. I also understand that with the expcetion of losing a child, the death of a sibling is the hardest thing any human will go through. BUT, that doesn't mean that she has carte blanche to walk into our home and act the way that she did. She has no right to make one of my other guests so uncomfortable that they leave. She has no right to insult how I live my life or spend my money. She also can't feel that bad about it because she isn't standing there saying how sorry she was, he was doing the dirty work for her.
So we walk out of the bedroom and sit down to talk with his sisters and grandparents. After about 30 minutes we decide to leave. His mother doesn't even get up, she just says good bye. That is about all she said to us the entire time we were there. There was no apology, not even an "I'm sorry" glance. So, I am very sorry that her sister died but I will not forigive her actions for quite some time!
Anyway, Sean's parents show up and my dad and stepmother show up. Everyone is sitting around and enjoying themselves while dinner finishes up. So we sit down to dinner and it starts. The threshold between my living room and dining room must have some mysterious power because Sean's mother suddenly turns into a royal b i t c h! She sits down and all heck breaks out.
First, she runs the Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Charity in Western PA. Good for her! Well, one of their big fundraisers the last few years has been a gift wrap booth at a local shoppiong mall. Well, this year the mall has decided that SIDS has profitted off of the booth for 4 years, it is someone elses' turn to do so. The mall bids it out and gives it to the Humane Society. So she is railing on the Humane Society. I mean she won't shut up. Meanwhile my dad, stepmother, and I are just giving each other looks. We all happen to be members of the Humane Society. But we are all pretty mild mannered. So we just give each other a look and keep out mouths shut because it is Thanksgiving.
Then, my FMIL starts on my that my engagement picture WILL be on our Christmas cards this year. A little side note, Sean and I always take a picture of Ruffles and Ellie and put it on our cards. Then she starts on my that next year's Christmas card WILL be our wedding portrait. Ummmm...excuse me, are they not MY Christmas cards? She starts to talk about how they were making fun of people like me (is her son's name not on the same card by the way) on television. She just keeps going on. Sean and his dad are trying to tell her to shut up. My stepmother is trying to change the subject. My dad is just sitting there eating because he knows that if she doesn't get herself under control soon that I am going to say something. Finally, I have had enough. So I look at my dad and I say, "I was unaware that what I put on my f u c k i n g CHristmas card was anyone's business but my own. If I want to put a picture of my naked a s s on there, I will." He starts to laugh because he knows that it is about to hit the fan. Thankfully FMIL got the idea on that one and stayed silent for a couple of minutes. Things resumed and everyone started to relax.
Then it starts again. To me, any type of political discussion does not belong at the dinner table, especially on a holiday where you might not know how everyone thinks. But, my FMIL is one of those people who listen to super liberal radio shows (which are as bad as super conservative talk shows) on NPR and thinks that means that she knows everything. You should note that everyone at the table really does not like our President. The opinion around the table is pretty much the same. Regardless, political discussion is something that you don't do around the Thanksgiving dinner table. So what does FMIL start to discuss, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. She is talking about how people should refuse to go, they are unjust wars, we don't belong there, we are getting what we deserve for putting our nose in other peoples' business, those boys over there shouldn't have to go, they only joined the army for money for shcool. Well, did I forget to mention that my dad is in the military? He did an 18 month tour in Afghanistan himself. Now Sean knows that I will ignore someone saying something about me but when you say something about my parents or friends, I will turn around and snatch the eyeballs right out of your head. Well my stepmom is getting pretty p.o'd by this point so she starts to just clear the table and clean up the kitchen. My dad who tries to explain that you know full well what can happen when you join the military and why what he did was so important starts to get REALLY ****ed off that she is degrading the job that he did. My dad is far calmer than I am so he just excuses himeself and walks upstairs where he checks his email. Sean realizes that I am about to jump across the table and beat his mother with a turkey leg so he leashes up the dogs for us to take out because they have to "pee". I don't know what his dad said to his mother but after we get back in she looks like she calmed down.
Well, now she realizes that she has us all worked up. I also see that she purposefully has to be causing trouble at this point. I also thank God that my mom didn't come up because she is no where near as calm as my dad and I. So, now it is time for my delicious homemade pumpkin pie and my crappy store bought chocolate pie. (See the above post about why I have to have a crappy chocolate pie instead of the delicious pecan one that I made.) Anyway, my fmil must have figured out the only way to **** me off past the realms of type of self control. So she starts with it. She starts about her friends cat who has cancer and how stupid her friend is for getting the cat treatment. She would just put the cat to sleep and go buy another. At this point my dad and stepmother actually get upset enough that they just excuse themselves and leave. Now the fmil actually upset my father enough to drive him out of MY home where my father has done more for her son and I than she ever has done. She goes on bragging about how the poodle that my FH and his sisters had growing up never went to the vet. She got her shots at the firehall where it was free (she sold real estate and FFIL is a doctor- I can see where the need the FREE shots.). If her dog was ever sick enough that it needed to go to the vet she would jsut have it put down.
Well now it is time for a side story. My Scottie, Ruffles, was hit by a car when she was about 3. She got out of the yard and was trying to get across the street to play with the neighbor kids. Anyway, the car actually ran over her front legs and head. My mom grabbed her and ran her to the vet because she just figured they would put Ruffles to sleep. (I was away on a school trip and my parents were devestated because they had no idea what to tell me.) Anyway, our vet was a miracle worker. He thought that since Ruffles brain wasn't actually damaged, just swollen from the trauma that with surgery and love she would make an almost total recovery. She did. She had several facial and leg surgeries and spent weeks in the doggie hospital (where I visited EVERYDAY). But she walked out the same happy, barking, tough little terrier that she always was. The only problems that she has is that she can't hear and her one eye tear duct was damaged so it doesn't drain properly. (she is 12 now by the way) But she is still my Ruffles. This wasn't by the way a cheap procedure. We were lucky that my father had a very good job and we could afford this. But, Ruffles was a part of the family. My parents were as distraught about possibly losing her as I was.
Back to the holiday now....I explain this to my fmil. Ruffles is sitting right under my chair patiently waiting her Thanksgiving pie crust to wash down her little plate that she and Ellie get made for them at every holiday. She looks at me and says, "I would have just had the dog put down and bought a new one, why would I waste the money." Well, she did, because now IT IS WAR! My two dogs are the world to me. I understand that not everyone feels that way. But Ruffles and I are super close because I got her the day before my grandpa died. Everyone was so crazy at that time that the only person I had to cry to was her. Ruffles lies with me when I am sick or have a migraine. She never moves or makes a sound while she is there. She sleeps on my feet at night and keeps them warm. She (and Ellie) greet me at the door with little wagging tails and wet noses when I come home. They don't care if I am in a bad mood, or look like hell, or anything else. They are just happy that I am there. I feel the same way about them. It is total unconditional love and complete loyalty, something we humans could learn from. I have had Ruffles longer than I have had Sean....if I had to pick between them Sean wouldn't like the outcome. My fmil knows this. And she knows that she just hit the mother load. So does Sean and his dad because they both jump up the second that she says those words. I just say, "You need to leave." Sean's dad is like, "Yeah we should go, it is late. We have to be up early tomorrow you know." And, Sean appears with their coats. This woman is sitting there throwing a fit that I jsut kicked her out of her SON'S house. (Apparently I don't pay for half of everything anymore....WHOO HOO that will make Christmas shopping way easier!) Then they fianlly leave. I don't walk them to the door. Sean comes running into the kitchen apologizing and complaining about her. He has to call my dad and apologize. Thankfully dad is cool about it.
But in all, I don't think I will stand up for my fmil anymore beause regardless, it is war. By the way, for Christmas she is getting a $50 donation to the Western PA Humane Soceity from Ruffles and Ellie. (Yea I am that petty and evil...but it will be really funny too because she won't be able to say a thing about without making herself look like a total *** in front of the entire family on Christmas. Hahaha!)
On Thanksgiving Day we go to visit Sean's grandparents for a couple minutes. They live in an old folks home and don't get to leave too often. It also is their anniversary and his grandma's birthday. So when we get there, Sean's sisters and BIL are already there visiting as are his parents. Well, I have been waiting for this. I am jsut waiting for his mother to say something, because I declared war and now it is on, baby!
Well as soon as we arrive she looks up from the couch and says hello then turns to finish her conversation with Sean's sister....ok, no apology yet...maybe in a few minutes. Sean's dad pulls us into the bedroom and starts to apologize for fmil's behavior the night before. Well, it is nice that he is saying something, but he didn't do it. It add insult to injury he then tries to justify her behavior. Apparenlty the night before was her sister's birthday. Her sister died of ovarian cancer about 10 years before this. At this point Sean and I have ahd enough of running behind BOTH of his parents all the time just ignoring when they want to be *******s. So I finally say something. I explain that I am very sorry that fmil lost her sister so horribly. I understand how close they are. I also understand that with the expcetion of losing a child, the death of a sibling is the hardest thing any human will go through. BUT, that doesn't mean that she has carte blanche to walk into our home and act the way that she did. She has no right to make one of my other guests so uncomfortable that they leave. She has no right to insult how I live my life or spend my money. She also can't feel that bad about it because she isn't standing there saying how sorry she was, he was doing the dirty work for her.
So we walk out of the bedroom and sit down to talk with his sisters and grandparents. After about 30 minutes we decide to leave. His mother doesn't even get up, she just says good bye. That is about all she said to us the entire time we were there. There was no apology, not even an "I'm sorry" glance. So, I am very sorry that her sister died but I will not forigive her actions for quite some time!