Can't we all just get along?

[simply elegant]

I have several members in my family because of the fact that I have my own business, they think that I have everything, only if they knew.
The more money you make the more money you spend. I guess it is true when they say that your family members are the main ones that you might have to cut off. Let's face reality, there is always going to be someone who looks better, makes more money, drives a better car, etc
that's life. Even if they are not happy for me, I still try to be sociable.
Why can't we all just get along? Be happy for one another and help one another if possible after all that's what we are all here for.

simply elegant

[WhiskeyGirl]

Man, do I know where you are coming from. Every thing that my husband's brother and wife does it is always some sort of competion with us (but we aren't competing with them. They drive a mercedes, we drive good ol' dodges....lol.) and my own brother and wife can't even be happy for us that we have a nice home and aren't starving or living on the streets!! Its all about the greened eye monster I tell you! If life were easier there would be a lot more happy people in this world. I just have to believe that some day it won't matter to me anymore that my own brother and sister in law don't like me because we have money. Family IS the worst, which sucks because they are supposed to BE family, it's hard to just write them off. Keep pushing through, and let the comments or whatever roll off your back!!

~CB~

[CarlosHoney]

Yeah. It's like that. Family is so funny. There's no one that we're competing with, but there are people who have to point out the obvious just to make us feel bad.

One of Carlo's best friends of 9 years has to point out that he gets paid so very well, and that his mom just bought him a new car, etc. We're happy with who we are, so we don't worry. That's just the way some people express that they're worthy..

:wink: If you don't sink to that level, though, it's all good.

[Jenn060306]

I find i'm walking arround on egg shells some days. My family and my fiances family are very different. It all falls down to the events in our families lives before we even met.
My fiance has told me that the reason my parents have never been invited for dinner at his mothers is because she feels like her home doesen't compare to my parents. I feel really hurt when people treat my family and i differently.
When it comes to the wedding i am really trying to keep costs together, and not talk about which side of the families are paying for what. I worry alot of hurt feelings.

[WebLady]

Boy, I can so relate! My family seems to think that since I work for myself that I am rich or something. I guess to some I seem to be better off than most but I don't get everything I want by any means and I have to work hard for what I have and I can't afford to spend alot of money. Especially during the holidays; my heart is often bigger than my wallet :wink:

My family doesn't have much and they don't seem to understand that just because I may by things that they don't doesnt mean I am rich or anything. Sometimes I hate to even tell them about things sometimes. They either (mostly my mom) say things like "It must be nice" or start asking to borrow money :roll:

And when I was planning my very simple wedding a few of my family members kept saying things like 'you should do this or that ... you have the money' and a few even made comments about how we were spending more on the honeymoon than the wedding.

It sure would be nice just to have loving, supportive and understanding family and friends.

~ WebLady :)

[robindepaula]

OMG - I know where you're coming from -

Some of my family think that b/c I have my own business, that I'm rolling in it! So far from the truth that it's not even funny. It costs alot to run a business, and for pete's sake - I still work f/t in the medical field as well - that should be a clue to them!!

In fact I made a huge mistake by agreeing to shoot my cousins step-daughter's wedding. I was only charging them my cost of albums & prints, etc - plus giving them their images on CD at no extra cost - which I never do. My cousin's wife didn't pay me & turned around & sued me b/c she hasn't received her stuff - can you believe.....she had the gall to tell me I was doing so well, that I should be able to do it for free since they were family!! I thought I was doing them a favor by shooting everything at my cost - I'm not a gold mine! :evil:

Anyway, I'm rambling now -

Have a good shopping day for all that are brave enough to hit the malls.

Robin :wink:

[WebLady]

Robin, I am so sorry to hear about your 'family' treating you that way! But, I have been there too ... when I was in photographer (still some now) I had people coming out of the wood work wanting me to do free portraits and graduation pictures and such.

I took some pictures for a 'friend' of mine and his band once, well actually I did this a few times for them. For one, I had to pay to get into the shows, they gave me $30 (which didn't cover the film and processing) and they thought they were doing me a favor. I ended up giving them a CD, (for free) so that they could put the images on the band's website. All I asked for was a "live photos by" notice. A few weeks went by and I saw that the pictures were on the website as well as some others done by another photographer. Well, the only 'photos by' notice I found was for the other photographer! So I emailed my 'friend' and asked him if they forgot to post my photo credit ... a week went by and I didn't hear from him so I sent another email; this time I told him if he couldn't give me the proper credit then he would have to remove the images. He sent me this long nasty email saying I was being irrational and that he had never had such a problem with any other photographer and that they were remodeling the site and would be using other images anyway. I mean, how rude!! I haven't heard from him since.

I did a wedding for one of my so-called friends too. I charged them $300 (which barley paid for the film)and I was there the whole day and they got close to 500 proofs. Then they got mad when the proof had a copyright notice on the back! It was not like I stamped it on the front or anything. And I told them if they wanted larger prints or an album then I would do it for half off for them. They said they were going to do that and that they would have lots of family ordering more; well a year went by and we barely spoke. I sent them letters and emails and called to offer the negatives to them for a mere $200, still never heard from them. I was so mad that I shredded all of them! Still haven't heard from them and it has been 4 yrs now. These people use to be my friends.

This is one of the reasons that I stopped doing weddings. But now I get people wanting me to do their websites for a discount or free!

Sadly it is friends and family that will scr3w you over the most.

Ok, I am gonna stop now :wink:

~ WebLady :)

[CindySue]

What Ive noticed especially in certain members of MY family is that they arent very happy with who there are so in order for them to build themselves up they have to put everyone else down.
My mother is a prime example. Before my step-father died in 2003, all I heard was how my step-brother was a thief and a liar and she didnt want him at their home because they always found something missing when he left. After his dad died, I dropped everything and moved in with my mother to help her pay her bills, (he was a nurse and they really depended on his salary). I never got a thank you for that, and all I had to listen to was how great my step-brother was and how he offered to do this or offered to do that. (None of which he ever did, but apparently thats beside the point)
I havent talked to my mother since I moved here in August. She has since quit her job and went to work with her new b/f in Florida. Hes an insurance adjuster or something. Anyway, she has sent my kids post cards and t-shirts from Florida c/o my FH, but she doesnt even put my name on anything. I guess shes still mad at me.

[WebLady]

When my brothers were younger my mom use to turn them against me when she was mad at me.

I remember one time we had an argument (I don't remember what it was about) and then the next day I got a message on my answering machine (I was married and on my own) from my then 11 yr old brother saying "mom says we can't talk to you anymore" It didn't last very long but anyway.

She still tries to play everyone against each other. When she is fighting with my sister she will try to turn me against her. It doesn't work as much not that we are all grown but she still tries.

Then when she doesn't get her way she huffs and pouts like a baby and walks around with heavy sighs and won't talk to anyone or try to make you feel bad "do what you want, don't worry about me"

:roll: :roll: It so bugs me when she is like that! I feel like I have to call and make sure she is in a good mood before I go over there now.

Sometimes I wonder why I put up with her. If she wasn't my mother I wouldn't have anything to do with her anymore. She has good days and bad days and I know she loves us but I think she needs some Prozac or something.

~ WebLady :)

[CindySue]

I dont think they make a Prozac strong enough for my mother, but i do think she needs to be on something!

[CarlosHoney]

My mom is like that. Everything is about her. She's going to do things her way, she's right. Everything she does is out of spite.

She didn't want to come to the baby shower until she heard that my Dad was driving down. So, she had to come and make an appearance. Then, she gives me the Spurs jumpsuit for the baby (knowing that I hate 'logos' and organised sports teams) specificly because I wouldn't like it.

The baby is about her, she's too young to be a grandma. She doesn't get why we even planned a wedding, when you can go to the courthouse for free. She's just, oh, I don't even know the word to describe it. She only calls when she needs something (Fix my resume! What's wrong with my computer?), and I just don't have it in me to worry about her anymore.

She just turned 44 this week, and she got evicted from her apartment. She was moving on her birthday. Seriously, I'm 21 and pay my rent on time. It feels really sick to be more responsible and more level headed than my mother. :|

[LaceyinPgh]

When it comes to money, I totally uinderstand where you all are coming from. Sean is a partner in an investment firm and I am a teacher. So, between the two of us we make a fair deal of money. We are very fortunate for that. We both have new nice cars, own our home, travel, and go out a lot. So, we live pretty well. Sean's family is totally fine with it. My dad and mom are both totally cool. They are all happy that they managed to raise two level headed, successful, children who found each other and are happy. Aside from that there was a time when money was very tight. We were living off of Sean's salary (well before he made partner stage) and I was in school full time without a job. It was tough but we got through. Everyone loved having us around then. But, when things got better for us, the story changed.

My mother's extended family, especially my grandmother and uncles can't stand that Sean and I are successful human beings. They think that I am just trying to show off with all of my things. No, I drive the particular car that I had because I like the features, it is comfortable, and looks nice. I have the things that I have because Sean and I get up at 530 every morning and work our butts off for them. We go on our vacations because after getting up at 530 evey morning all year long, we need a break. Meanwhile my grandmother has never done a days work in her life (she blew through the sizeable sum of money that my grandpa left her in just over a year) and my uncles can't keep their act together for any amount of time. So according to them I am a spoiled snob who likes to show off, not osmeone who works hard and is usually too tired to even car what she drives home or wears to work. I am just happy to get home and get comfy clothes on, brand name or not!

When it comes to anything for the wedding I am just being all fancy and forgetting my roots. Well, I am sorry but I worked very hard to get out of the cycle of poverty and misery in my small town. If they want to be jealous that is totally on them. I am never really around so how can I be showing off so much anyway. I have never forgetten where I am from or what I accomplished. I refuse to feel badly that I live a comfortable and happy life. If they can't ge toff of teir behinds and make the same for themselves I view it as being their problem not mine. I enjoy my life with the people who support and care about me. I don't care about anyone else and their jealousy issues.

[CindySue]

Good for you Lacey! You have earned what you have and you should be proud of it.
I think the biggest problem with my mom is that Im happy. I know that sounds really bad but its true. For a long time I was single. My track record with relationships was not good at all. I wanted to spend sometime on myself. I didnt mind being alone. My mother on the other hand has to ALWAYS have a string of men around her. Well she had several treat her badly, nothing illegal or immoral, just all round jerks. (or maybe they knew they were one of many?) Anyway when I started talking to Brian and I was really starting to like this guy, she mouthed off and said that no one would want a sinlge mother with 4 kids. Well guess what? He does. He treats my kids like they are his. He loves them and they love him. When I moved to his town is when she really blew up. And she said a lot of really awful things about me. It hurts but Im happy. I have the greatest man in the world. (Besides yalls men, of course. :wink: ) I never thought I could ever be this happy. Im not going to let her screw this up for me. My sster realized what she was going doing a long time ago and left the state. I only recently figure it out.
I do want a relationship with her for my kids sake but I refuse to put my life and my happiness on hold waiting for it.

[WebLady]

Lacey, I think it is great that you have worked hard and it is paying off for you! I am happy for you and your FH :) You are right, you shouldn't let other people's issues spoil your happiness.

And CindySue too, don't let anyone else get in the way of your life and your future with the good man you have found :)

I wish I had a better relationship with my mother and my family. And I really would love for them to have a better life and be happy for themselves and for me. But I have recently come to realize something; that will likely never happen. So I have to accept what I have been given.

When everyone is in a good mood and they are trying to make an effort to be a part of my life then I will too ... but if they can't be supportive of me, my choices and my life; well, I can't be around that. Yes, it bothers me but I am tired of trying to change them and I will not change who I am for anyone and I will not jeopardize my happiness for anyone, even if it is family.

Now I just have to try and take the good when it is good and not let the bad get to me :wink: I hope that made some sense.

Best wishes,

~ WebLady :)

[CindySue]

I didnt realize everyone else had as many family problems as me. I would say Im glad Im not alone, but I really wouldnt wish any of this on anybody.
I have noticed one thing though. Since me and my mother arent "connected", I am now a lot closer to other members of my family. And these people are really happy for me.
I have to say Id rather be surround by many "minor" family members that love me and are very happy for me, than one "major" one that isnt.

[WhiskeyGirl]

It's amazing how many of us are all going through the same or similar problems with our families. I know I have had it up to my eye balls with my family and their "insecurities". I get so frustrated dealing with them, and my mom just keeps begging me to apologize to my brother's wife. I don't know what I have to apologize for, can you imagine, yeah I 'll just call her up and be like "hey, Sorry we have some money. Yeah its too bad, I'll just sell my house and our nice trucks so that YOU won't feel bad or be jealous any more!!" NOT freakin likely. If they want to act like that they can keep it up because I don't care anymore. They're outta my life if they are going to keep acting that way. I have no use for negative or jealous people. The same goes for my Hubby's brother's wife. I ain't got no use for either of my sister inlaws! (Wasn't that great english.....lol...oh well.) I don't get it about family members and I don't think I ever will!!

~CB~

[LaceyinPgh]

I think the biggest problem with my mom is that Im happy. I know that sounds really bad but its true.

I get the relationship thing more from my friends. I have one friend especially who has never been in a healthy relationship. We were also always together before I met Sean. So I always get grief about my relationship and happiness from her. She is always whining that I don't have time for her because of Sean. (It isn't Sean, could it be the fact that we aren't 19 in college in anymore?) Then I get taht she can't come around because Sean doesn't like her boyfriend of the moment (who is always a weirdo or loser or creep, so she is right there.)

My other friend is happy for me materially and relationship wise. I get "freedom" jealousy from her. She and her husband have 4 kids age 10 or younger. And her husband is in the military so she gets to spend about half of her time as a single mom to all 4 beacuse he is away. They also have an unstable relationship. But I am always getting grief from her about not having a clue as to what life is like because I don't have kids. (No I don kow what life is like when you have kids, that is why as of now I don't have any.)

I am sure though that we all come across as a pain in the butt in our ways though. (I have to play devil's advocate.) I guess we just need to remember to turn the other cheek unles a heavy blow has been dealt.

[WebLady]

[quote="LaceyinPgh"]I get the relationship thing more from my friends ... I get "freedom" jealousy from her ...

Girl I get that too! I have friends that always complain out their SO and I don't have much to complain about and they say things like "Oh, it won't last" or they plain out call me a lair. And my sister loves to say that I am just spoiled. Well, I have been through bad relationships too (some of my friends were even there through the bad times and all of my family was there) So now that I have a good one I am surprised that my family and friends can't just be happy for me.

... I am sure though that we all come across as a pain in the butt in our ways though. (I have to play devil's advocate.) I guess we just need to remember to turn the other cheek unles a heavy blow has been dealt.

I really try to be cautious of other people's feelings but I am sure there has been times when someone may have thought otherwise. So you are right, if we could just let it go most of the time it wouldn't be such a problem ... and maybe those that bug us would stop if they realize that they have little to no affect on our lives. Who knows.

~ WebLady :)

[rainbowtreat]

I have to say that I am a lucky one. My mom has mae mistakes as any one would when I was growing up. But she was always ther for em and she still is. I have learned alot from her. ( I just wish my sister could have done the same. )

Yes my mom moved us around alot when we were kids. But shew as jsut tryin gto find herslef and a life for us all. My sister is 27 yrs old and still looks at it as our mom took her away from her dad. My sister doesnt care what our mom has ever done for us. She has her husband and his family ( his mother buys them every thing under the sun ) and her dad ( who for some reason is the best person ever , I have my reasons but he sure the hell is not in my book). It kills me how my sister can be the way she is. I really dont think she realizes it. Her husband is the same way and that is just who they are. If it is just me and my FH and them then they are all good but you put them with their freinds and throw us in the mix then we are the outcasts. I dont care much she is my sisster and i will always love her. But I think she has been here a total of maybe 4 times in the 10 years I have lived here. My mom who doesnt even have a car has been here more then that and I have taken my younger brother for a week. ( he is a freshman in high school )

So I guess for me the problem is my sister but all and all it is good. I can't wait to see her when I go home ( although I am always expected to come home they never come here ) and she cant wait to see me. But I know how she is and so does my mom. My mom has actually started charging them for babysitting because they were more or less using her for just that. I live 7 or so hours from my mom and talk to her more thenmy sister does who lives in the same town. When my mom moved out of the apartment she was renting form them no one helped her. I couldnt get there to help her or i would have and hse knows this.

My mom lives off from disabily ( and it is not alot let me tell you ) but she makes do. She is raising my little brother some what on her own. And I think she has raised me just fine. She has tough tme to respect others and not let things like what my sister does bother me as long as i am happy that is all that matters. My aunt ( her sister ) has 2 girls and they have both sinced moved away and they are marreid and both have kids. They are far enogh apart that she cant go see them both at the same time. but before either of them left she had said that they had better not move and take my grandkids away from me. My mom had told her to shut up and let them live their lives. she said do you think I like that Gwen ( that is me by the way lol ) lives 7 hours way and i dont get to see her kids like i would like to. But she is being taken care of and I know she is doing good and making a life for herself. No I dont like her being so far from me but that is what kids do. They grow up move away and start their own lives. As a child i would hear my aunt say things about my grandmother and let her kids put her down as well. My mom heard it and told me about how wrong it ws and no matter who she is she is still my grandmother and I have no reason to say anything bad about her. Which is true i have nothing bad to say about my grandmother she is yoru typical old lady grammie lol. And if somethign was to be said that needed to be said my mom would be the first to tell you.

No my mom is not an angel she is far from it. We had it hard as kids in many ways. But now tha tI am alomst 30 and i can look back. she was just trying to live her life for her and make a family life better for her kids.

I see we all have very differnt mothers and views on things. That is what makes us who we are. I am just glad to hear that in spite of all the problems you all still seem very happy and that is what is all about isnt it.

Sorry I kinda rambled a bit there i can get carried away very easily.

[bnd94]

Oh this is a big deal in our family too. My brothers think that we are the bank. Mainly just one of my brothers. He use to ask me for money all the time. He even asked me to move in with us once since we had our own house and two spare rooms. He would tell everyone who would listen that we were rich and play the poor brother who little sis wouldn't help out. I can assure you this is anything but true. We are FAR from being rich. We just handle money well. I have tried to explain this to him but I don't think he gets it. He doesn't talk to me much anymore. We were really close when we were kids but now we have drifted apart and I hate it. It makes me feel bad but I don't believe the way to help someone is to give them money. Especially when he wouldn't get a job and he was perfectly capable to work.

[WebLady]

... It makes me feel bad but I don't believe the way to help someone is to give them money.

Amen sister!!

My family seems to always 'need' something. They will ask for money or rides somewhere and for the longest time I did it without question. But here over the last year or so I just feel like with every thing I have done for them that they should all be in a better place. I mean when you help someone you are suppose to be better off from it, right?! Well with my family it seems to just be a temporary fix because the same type things keep happening. I don't see them doing anything to try and make the situation better or to try change their lives ... I feel like instead of making a better plan that they just live day to day and when something goes wrong they just call on me. They say things like "you work from home so it is easier for you" or "you just bought that new (whatever)" I am starting to feel used and disrespected.

Yes, I suppose my husband and I are better off than most of my family but we are by mo means rich! We have a decent house and cars that are paid for (not that we have new or even great cars) and we work for ourselves. We don't have children and we don't have car payments ... so get to spend money on things that some of my family calls frivolous. But really I don't see that we spend alot of money. We bought a new computer a few months ago so that my husband and I could both have our own. But we both use the computer for work. We bought a new refrigerator a while back too, and my family made comments about that. I feel like I can't share anything positive in my life without hearing something like "It must be nice" Then my mother wonders why I don't talk to her as much :roll:

Whenever I say I can't do something they ask of me they will say something to try and make me feel bad. My sister says things like "I would do it you needed something but that is just me" Well, I won't ask someone for something if I can find another way ... I like to do things on my own. And I try not to have to ask my family for anything. The few times in my life when I have needed something, I have paid for it in one way or another. And with my family I am made to feel bad about the whole situation and then they will keep reminding me that they helped me once or twice when I have done 10 times that for all of them. :roll: :x

Then they will try to guilt me into something like "Well, I guess I will just get fired then and loose everything" Or "Family is suppose to help each other" :x They are trying to make me feel sorry for them and feel like I am a bad daughter/sister but then say things like "Don't feel sorry for me, I guess I will get by somehow, I just don't know how"

Ok, I don't mind helping people, in fact I enjoy giving and helping people. I always help and give to friends and strangers alike, until I feel used and unappreciated and when people start to just assume or expect that I am going to do something ... it just has got to end somewhere.

I feel like I have been helping my family in one way or another my whole life! Now I want to live my life and build for my future with my husband. My husband and I are working hard so that we can have a good future. Is that so wrong of me? Does that make me the bad daughter/sister? Does that make me selfish or insensitive?

I mean, why should I work hard and give and give to someone else? I want to see the fruits of my labor. I don't mind sharing and helping those that need help but I like to help people that are making a good effort to help themselves and people that truly appreciate my help, no matter how much or how little I give.

I just feel like whatever I do (to help or with my life in general) is not good enough for my family. They make me feel that they don't think I really love them unless I can do something for them.

I love my family (whether they believe it or not) and I wish the best for them. I know that my parents have a rough life and my siblings seem to be on the same path. But, it is not and should not be my problem that they have made and obviously keep making bad choices in their lives and I should not have to keep bailing them out over and over again. Why should my life be affected when theirs doesn't go right? When I have a problem, (and yes, I do have problems from time to time but they think I have a perfect life) I deal with it in whatever way I can or need to and I don't involve others and I don't try to make people feel sorry for me.

UGGG, I so hate drama! Ok, I think I am done venting now ... sorry :wink:

~ WebLady :)

[CarlosHoney]

Oy! I know how you feel. My mom just got evicted from her apartment. It's sad that I'm more responsible than my mom, and I'm half her age. Seriously.

She is exactly like your family, Weblady, and honestly, that's the reason that my Grandpa never helps me out when I need money. He always says that 'You might need money now, but you need to learn to handle it all in the long run'. He knows that he's not doing me any real favors. :wink:

[WebLady]

I am glad I am not the only one :wink:

I don't want to come off as a mean and selfish person. And I don't want to compare my life to that of my family and I am not saying that I don't understand where they are and I don't want people to think that I think I am better than them or anything. It is just that I have made different choices and therefore, I have a different life now. Don't get me wrong though, I have had my share of rough times, believe that! But I have grown because of those things and choose to be better off from those experiences. I find it hard to understand why I am so different than my family in so many ways.

I thank God everyday for what I have and for the bright future my husband and I have ahead of us ... and I pray for better things for my family and for others too. And it really does upset me, ALOT. But I just can't let other peoples problems get in the way of my happiness, my heath and my future ... family or not. And if they can't see that then they won't see much of me. I hate saying that because I really don't want it to come to that, I really do just want a happy, loving and supportive family ... all the time, not just when everyone is in a good mood or is spending money. (If that makes any sense)

People say that we go through things in life to make us stronger or to teach us something. I am not sure what I am suppose to learn from all this other than I don't want to be like that.

Thanks for listening to me.

~ WebLady :)

[CarlosHoney]

Ditto!! My mom just callsed to see if I'd finished her resume. When I told her that I forgot, she started to get upset.. Every time she calls, she wants something..

I've decided that I'm not going to do the resume. She can do it herself.

[CindySue]

Well I have sorta the reverse of yalls problems......I was raised to stand on my own 2 feet. If I couldnt get it by myself then I didnt need it. I have put that into EVERY aspect of my life. It irritates my FH because I dont ask for his help on things. He wants to help with my kids and I feel they are my responsiblity so I should handle it. Im working on that. Its not that I dont want him to help.....Im just so used to doing it all myself that I dont want to burden him.
One example.....About 2 months ago, I had paid all my bills and was broke until my next check. My baby had his first pics taken at school and the order was due 3 days before I was to get paid. I didnt ask my FH for the money. I got depressed because I missed out on the pics and he jumped my butt because he says I didnt have to. He saw it as me not trusting him enough to come to him when I had a problem and I saw it as not wanting to burden him with my problems. Well that problem has been worked out. Im having to learn how to let him take some of my responsibility. Its hard for me to do, but I am working on it. Im just glad theres not a whole lot that comes up like that!

[WebLady]

... It irritates my FH because I dont ask for his help on things. He wants to help with my kids and I feel they are my responsiblity so I should handle it. Im working on that. Its not that I dont want him to help.....Im just so used to doing it all myself that I dont want to burden him

It is good for you to want to do things on your own, I really admire that in people. But I am sure your FH wants to help you and be a part of your life, you are getting married after all and your problems will be his to share and vice versa.

I have problems with this sometimes with me and my DH. Ever since I got divorced from my ex (nearly 10 yrs ago) I said that I was going to take care of myself and deal with my problems myself. Even now I don't ask for things and then sometimes I go without and my DH will ask me "Why didn't you tell me or ask me?" I just feel like he does so much for me and for "us" that I don't like to ask him for anything.

It has been really hard for me these last few years since I quit my day job and started working for myself. I don't make near as much money as I use to so I have to depend on him for more. I just don't want to be one of those women that just sits back and lets the man take care of them and spends all their money.

But because he knows that I feel this way he will pretty much give me whatever I need or want that is within reason and within his power. We have been together for nearly 7 years (married for 8 months) and I am still working on letting him help me and 'us' more :wink: So I know how you feel there.

Ditto!! My mom just callsed to see if I'd finished her resume. When I told her that I forgot, she started to get upset.. Every time she calls, she wants something..

I've decided that I'm not going to do the resume. She can do it herself.

I rarely get a call from anyone in my family unless they want something from me.

I am starting to turn them down more and they are trying to make me feel bad when I do.

My husband says that it is like "tough love" It is not helping them when I keep doing things for them and it is not good for our relationship either and they stress me out alot.

I tell ya, if I didn't have my DH to be such a supportive part of my life, I think I would just fall apart. I thank God for him everyday!

I guess that is all I have to say about all that for now :wink:

~ WebLady :)

[fotogrllt]

Luckily, no one in my family thinks I am rich, even though I have a photography business. As far as doing weddings as a favor, I have only done it once for my nephew as a present. Of course, they were very grateful. My rule is that I do not give discounts to friends because then if anything goes wrong, it is your fault. What is amazing is that they will go and have some other family member do it free or they hire some other company for less. Unfortunately, they will come crying back to me that their bargain messed up the photos. Bottom line, remind the family that you are not making loads of money and that you are not the freebe bank. Too bad if they think your selfish and ungrateful. Your bank balance will thank you for it.

[LizabethDavis]

Hehe. My mother. Where do I begin? She's better now that she divorced the jerkface that she was married to (not my father, but her second husband). It use to be that she would inevitably call me at least twice a month and say, "Hey, can I borrow 20 bucks until Friday?" Like I am made out of money. She did always pay me back though.

Her ex husband had a spending problem. Only he thought he had no problem spending it :rolleyes: . He didn't work and got SSI and SSD (bunch of ****. wish I could have a drug problem and call it a disability) and she doesn't have the best paying job. Well, it pays $11.00 an hour, but only like 25 hours a week.

I remember once when he had $200 in his pocket and they NEEDED food in the house. He was only willing to give her $40.00 because he wanted to go buy those rain guard things that go over your truck windows...(does anyone know what I mean?) I took her and bought her some food. Thank goodness he's gone.