Paying for Bridesmaid Dresses (long)

[Jenn060306]

Ok... so i thought i had everything figured out with the dresses. We'll make them save all the bridesmaids the fustrations of the huge costs of buying a dress.
My mom came home from her holidays. A week to think about it all, and she has decided she wants us to buy the top that we liked, and make the skirts since skirts are much easier, and its ok if they are slightly different. She has offered to pay for the first $100.00 of the top. And the girls would only have to pay the last $35.00 and the tax on their top, and for the fabric and notions for make their skirts.
It seems very nice. And i understand that she means well. She's worried that the dresses won't all be the same because 2 of them will be made out of town. One girl lives on the other side of the country so we won't see it until she gets here. And the other about 5 hours from here. Her bridesmaids all had their dresses made, and her sisters ended up being different, which led to alot of tears and upset people on her wedding day. So she doesent want to see that happen to me.
Anyways.... i'm not sure how to bring it up to my bridesmaids. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to offend anyone. I very nervous about it all. And i really hate that i feel that way. I just worry that someone might take it the wrong way.
Have any of you had to do anything like this?! Any words of wisdom? I really don't want to hurt anyone. I don't think i could handle it right now.
Thanks

[WhiskeyGirl]

I don't quite understand what the problem is. What are you wanting to ask of these girls?? My BM's dresses did not match but it still looked absolutley goreous. Perhaps you shouldn't worry yourself about this, it should only matter how gorgeous you look!

~CB~

[usahgrad]

I can understand changing your mind and having to introduce the idea to your bms. It can be difficult. I had taken two of my jbms to try on dresses and it was hard to break the news that we were going to make them to the two of them.

Anyways, about the possibility of the dresses looking different, I do have to say that as long as you are clearly specific, that probably won't happen. I've seen that done in three different ways: one: write down all of the fabric information for each fabric and the exact pattern number. Two: ask for money from all of them to buy the fabric, patterns, and everything else and send the packet to them or Three: almost the same as number two, only make the dresses yourself. That's what I'm doing: my future MIL and my FH's sister are going to help me and I'm just asking to get reimbursed from the bms who are out of town (most of them...lol).

Your mother's idea isn't a bad idea. And believe you me, as a MOH in my best friends wedding, I really wish she would do that instead of having us buy the skirt too...I'm looking at over three hundred dollars for our dress and that doesn't even include shoes...:(

[CindySue]

I agree with usahgrad........If they KNOW what pattern to use then the skirts will match. The only problem would be the fabric. Different stores have different variations. Thats where sending the "packets" to the girls out of town will make sure that they have the right patterns and material.
Good luck!

[CarlosHoney]

Maybe you could buy the fabric and the skirts, and send it to them. They reimburse you for the cost. I'm understanding that your mom is making the skirts? If so, then she can make them all identical. If I'm not understanding correctly, then using the same pattern and material will help tremendously.

Good luck. It's a stressful time, but take a deep breath. It's just one day in the rest of your life!

[LizabethDavis]

These girls have the right idea...I would probably go as far as to have somebody make them for the girls.....I hope you have figured this out by now, but good luck.

[Jenn060306]

Everyone was very receptive to the idea. I was worried a bit. But, i think i worry to much sometimes.
Anyways... The tops are being ordered soon, and i'm buying the black fabric all at once. All the girls have the patterns since we bought them when we found it.
Thanks girls!

[CindySue]

Glad things worked out for you. Its a big weight off your mind isnt it?

[Jenn060306]

Absolutly :bbmrgreen:

[usahgrad]

I went to JoAnns to inquire about fabric, and they said that they could order for me if I wanted to. We just had to order a few weeks in advance. That way we wouldn't have to worry about getting a different dye lot for half the dresses.