It would be perfect if it weren't for the groom.

[CarlosHoney]

I don't know if it's just the hormones, but he's really irking me!! We set a date, and we have the 'in between ring' right now. It's just CZ and Sterling, so that if need be, I can have it re-sized while I'm preg. We have looked at several rings, and he says that he is going to get one for me later on (money issues).

So, the date is set (August 12) and he knows that I've already planned everything. He hasn't told his family. He hasn't told his friends. Yeterday one of the guys he goes to Tai Chi with asked 'Hey, so, when are y'all getting married?'

:shock: <------THE LOOK ON CARLO'S FACE.

:) <----------------------Me, waiting for him to say SOMETHING..





































:( <------------------------Me, then realising that he doesn't know.

Not like, he forgot the date. Like, he doesn't know when we're going to get married. He knows that this is important to me. He has mentioned a few times to his mom about wedding stuff, but nothing definite, nothing tentative. I don't know what to do.

I just feel like he should have said 'Hey, don't get all into Weding Planner gear, calm down. Lets talk more about this.' He let me read, and research, and think, and plan, and he gave his opinions on stuff, and talked about it, and now doesn't know if he wants to. :? My insurance drops me on my 22nd B-Day. We'll have to get married for me to have insurance after that.

Oh, and guess what I found this morning?? PORNO!!

:cry: Today just isn't my day.

[WhiskeyGirl]

You just have to talk to him CarlosHoney. You have to sit him down and make sure he knows how hurt you are about all of that...the : Not telling his family, not telling his friends, finding the porn, etc. You just can't sit back and allow him to treat you like that!! If he loves you he wouldn't be ashamed, embarassed or hesitant or whatever to tell the people he loves. If he asked you to marry him, he certainly must love you! Or you could surprise him one day when he comes home and you have save the date cards ready to go into the mail!! That'll scare the **** out of him and then maybe he might realize that you aren't joking and he NEEDS to tell his family, etc. The only thing I can say is ask him what the hell is he thinking! And throw the porn in his face and ask him what the hell is he thinking! I'm afraid if it were me and he couldn't respect me enough to respect my past/feelings, he wouldn't respect me in the future!!! (my husband threw OUT all his porn when I moved in with him after we got engaged! But not at my urging, he told me "I have the love of my life why do I need pages of Other Women?!?!)

The best advice here is don't stay if only for your baby, women are single mom's every day, if by choice or not! If you marry him only because he is the dad of your child but you are unhappy in the long run, your child will see this but if you don't marry him and stay friendly for the child, the child will florish and develop and grow better! (At least thats what I've seen...my aunt is this way. Very unhappy in her marriage but stays for the child. The child is VERY screwed up!)

I say talk to him and if he continues this destructive path, haul his butt off to counselling. If that doesn't work, try to resolve your issues, and if that doesn't work you have to re-evaluate things and figure out if this is the way you want your life and your baby's life to be! You deserve to be treated better than that CarlosHoney!!! And as far as the insurance thing goes, getting married just for issurance is not the right thing to get married for.(I know that isn't your only reason but you keep stating that so it must be high on your list.) I am sure there must be some other way that you can get private insurance through a company. (like in Canada we have blue cross or individual health plans.) Best of luck to you, stay strong and don't let him bully you around or treat you like **** ANY longer!!

~CB~

[CarlosHoney]

When he comes home from work (he gets off in 30 min) we're going to talk. About EVERYTHING. He called on his lunch break and we ended up arguing on the phone. He said that he was embarrased about it, and that he doesn't want to hurt me.

He just thinks that I'm going to look back on this years from now and laugh because porn isn't that important. He's not cheating on me, he says. I told him that it's not about fidelity. I understand that. It's about him not intentionally hurting my feelings.

So, we're going to talk about it, and I hope he can be honest with me. I just don't get it.

I know I'm pg, and I've been trying my best to keep him interested while I'm feeling like a blimp. He doesn't go more than 5 days, that's for sure. I don't know. I just want to work this out. This is really the only thing that we fight about. Nothing else gets between us.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I wish you the best of luck CarlosHoney. I hope it all goes well and you get the answers you are seeking!!

~CB~

[Mish11]

:( not cool, at all! I really hope that things work out.... alsways remember that communication is key! neither of you can read minds! so its nb to make sure you tell each other wots going on so you don't land up being hurt bout things he didn't even kno were upsetting you! When my fh and i got engeged i ran withit and started all sorts of plannig and stuff... he was very dis-interested... we chatted and now everything is soo much better :) Over the wkend i was going thru some wed stuff and said to him " can you believe we only have 12 weeks to go!" he was like, "WOW! its gone so fast! shout if you need help and let me know if there is anything i can do to make anything easier" it was sweet and really nice of him!

[CarlosHoney]

Well, we talked. :? There was a lot of stuff that I didn't know. He just feels like with a baby coming, that things are getting really serious really fast. I understand where he's coming from.

He's been the main supporter of the houehold for the last 2 years. I've had job troubles (not enough hours, or a really crappy job) and have been without work sometimes, so the responsiblity is all on him. I haven't held a good paying job. He's worried that we're going to be relying on him, and he wants us to be financially comfortable.

I would rather not go back to work after the baby is born for a while, but that's not where we are at. So I understand that I have to find something that will pay me well.

:D He came home with purple roses, though, and apologised about the porn. I just mentioned that I found it, and was a little upset, and he apologised. Brought me some lunch from Sonic (I've been craving the ice from Sonic like MAD), flowers, and a card. We had a long talk, and we've come to the conclusion that we're just going to take it a day at a time.

We're going to get married in the early summer and have a 'wedding' on our 4 year anavarsary. I jumped in with the wedding stuff once I got preg. I really couldn't help it.:wink: We agreed on the 4 year anavarsary date a year ago, gives us time to save money and maybe have a nicer wedding.

So, all is well.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I'm glad to hear that things are going better. My husband has been acting the same way lately (the job thing.), maybe its a man thing. Who knows?! Take care Carlo'sHoney!

~CB~

[sstark1218]

I'm glad to see it's working out for you! Just hang in there, and if it's meant to be, it will be!

[CindySue]

So are you not going to have a "wedding" when you first get married? There are still ways to make it a memorable experience such as where, when, even the time of day.
My FH came up with a wonderful idea over thee weekend concerning our anniversary. Right now we are putting $20 each into our "wedding fund" each week. We are going to continue doing so even after we get married. We will be used to doing by then anyway. But we will use the money to take an "Anniversary Trip" instead of buying each other gifts. We are even going to take turns planning the trips and since hes planning the honeymoon, I get to plan the first annivesary trip.
But the point i was trying to get to is that is you sit down and decide to stick away a certain amount of money each week or month, in 4 years you could have a very nice wedding.

[Mish11]

thats such a good idea! i think i'll suggest it to my fh tonight :) by the way... where is everyone going on honeymoon?

[CindySue]

Mish...when we first started planning our wedding we werent going to have very much money to spend on it at all. (We are paying for everything ourselves) When we started the "wedding fund" we figured up how much we would have at the end and it ended up being WAY more than we ever thought we could have.

[CarlosHoney]

So are you not going to have a "wedding" when you first get married? There are still ways to make it a memorable experience such as where, when, even the time of day.

But the point i was trying to get to is that is you sit down and decide to stick away a certain amount of money each week or month, in 4 years you could have a very nice wedding.

Oh, no, even after we get married, our anavarsary will be the day we got together. Feb 24. We would be getting married in 2007 if we went on our 4 year anavarsary....

I've been thinking, though, about just cutting the wedding down to immidiate family only and just having a dinner in a restaurant instead of having the whole recption and everything. I figure, I can still find a nice dress, he can wear a suit, I can order the flowers I like for about $50 for 2 dozen, and we can just have a dinner afterwards.

We'd really like to go to Hawaii or something like that. I'd like to do it in the spring so that it's really nice outside, and when we go on vacation, it will be really nice weather there too.

I've just been feeling like it's all too much. The whole wedding and everything. I feel like we need to save that money in case we really need it. We've been talking about putting away $50 from every paycheck. Half goes into Baby's College Fund, the other goes into our 'Rainy Days and Emergencies' Fund.

But, that would be cool to save up for a trip every year.

[CindySue]

All of us have gone through the days where we are overwhelmed. You poor thing are getting hit with double. The wedding AND the baby. Either you have the patience of a Saint or you hide your lunacy very well.
I wish you all the best!

[CarlosHoney]

Ah, there's no hiding it. I'm crazy as a coconut! :lol:

[Mish11]

I think we all might be a little crazy :wink: it helps to make things all a little easier... besides, everyone needs a little fun... and chatting with you girls is always fun :D

[usahgrad]

Lol! That's true. I love chatting on here...I think it's an addiction. And, I'm just as crazy as the next person, even more so sometimes...lol.

My mother says my fiance loves me because I keep him young...the other day, after a big Thanksgiving feast, I dragged him to the park to swing on the swings (did I mention there was half a four-six inches of snow on the ground?). We both laughed about it afterwards. I wouldn't suggest it to anyone else though...swinging motions don't combine with turkey...lol!

[rainbowtreat]

This is my FH first THanksgiving with us. Instead of the normal nap I dragged im outside to play in the snow with thekids. Then after we got back in side to warm up we watch 3 Christmas movies will my son fell asleep on my lasp. He is loving this though. He was thrown into the family life but wouldn't change it for the world.

[Mish11]

My Fh says that deep down, i'll always be a little kid... we went to a friends wedding recently and they had kids running all over... the bride made sure there was a playground and trampoline.... but guess who was first on the trampoline.. ME! (formal evening wear 'n all)
I guess thats why our men love us :D