I'm probably being dumb but need to vent!!

[shawnsgirl]

Okay, so as I posted before my FH has a new job. I have dealt with him being away from home more often and supporting him and accepting it. It stinks sometimes but hey he's got a nice job so I can't complain about that. Well, until today I have been 100% supportive of it. Something is kind of bugging me. See, his boss is female and next weekend they have a show they have to do together which means hotel room for two nights together. Now ofcourse they have separate hotels rooms for what shawn told me but she booked both of them on her credit card which I find kind of odd. Anyhow, I feel quite uneasy about my FH spending an entire weekend away from home with this woman although it is for work. I trust my FH but there's something about it I don't like. I know if his boss was male it wouldn't bother me as much. I know I'm probably being dumb here and it's just something I need to get used to but sometimes the past comes up to haunt me every now and then. I do trust my FH and know he would never hurt me it just bothers me a little thats all. I tried talking to my FH about it by telling me it just bothers me just a little and he starts out by saying you don't trust me at all do you? I was like ofcourse I do, the situation just seems odd and I don't understand why she booked both yours and hers room when generally you are to book your own and then get reimbersed later. That's how is job works, everyone is responsible for their own expenses and submitting for reimbursement. That part just didn't make sense to me. He said she just went ahead and did it but didn't give a reason for it. He thinks now that I don't trust him and I said yes I trust you I just feel wierd about it that's all. He thinks I'm nuts. He's probably right. I am nuts and need :icon_barbar: over the head. Anyhow, I just needed to vent because I'm just bothered by it..Please don't get me wrong I don't think my FH will cheat on me....Like I said I just feel weird about the whole situation that's all.

[WhiskeyGirl]

I wouldn't be comfortable with the situation either to be honest! I mean I knw how my DH would act but the thing is I wouldn't know how that other woman might try!! Do you know what I mean?! I think you have every right to feel unnerved! I'm not sure what to say thoguh to put your mind at ease!! It's really a tough situation. I think my SIL goes through this every time my brother goes on the road to work....but my brother hasn't been faithful in the past. (DUmb *** brother!! lol) You really need to sit down and talk with him, that will help for sure. I think you're feeling hte same way I would, you trust him, you just don't know if you can trust HER!!! Good luck Hun!

[shawnsgirl]

That's the most part. I haven't ever met her. Supposdly she's engaged but hasn't set a date for her wedding yet but who knows right? Also, I guess my question is for my dear FH is how does he know that she booked two hotel rooms? I kind of want to know why she booked his too myself...That just has me perplexed. Everything this past month shawn has had to pay for himself upfront and then later seek reimbursement and all of a sudden she's flippin the bill??? Anyhow...it just doesn't make sense...See my FH is a really nice guy and he is pretty oblivious to certain things...Come on...I flirted with him for a whole two weeks before he realized I was hitting on him! He says now he knows what I was doing but he honestly was oblivious to it...Him and I orginally met in college and me being the bad girl flirted with him innocently but I was with my nowex husband (before we were married of course) and he had a girl friend...Heck we were lab partners for our bio I remember how many times I played those flirting games..They just didn't mean anything and I was in college and well, I had just met my now ex husband. I never really meant any of it...okay well kind of but mostly just joking around. Anyhow, I just know how oblivious he can be to those sort of things. I wish I could turn into a fly and be a fly on the wall. My FH called about 15 minutes ago to tell me he's home now..He said you know you are allowed to come along. I was like really. But then he listed like 6 reasons whyI probably shouldn't. 1-I'd have to take off of work 2- I'd have to bring our 5 yr old 3- I should go to this bridal expo jan 7 with my mom (yeah I really feel like doing that when he's away with her) 4-He'll be working and we won't really get to spend time together 5-It's a four hour trip I would get tired from the trip 6- he doesn't know how close or far away the hotel is from restaurants and what not that I might get bored...So it's like yeah you can come along but let me list the ways why you really shouldn't! LOL He cracks me up sometimes!

[WhiskeyGirl]

Do you know the hotel he is staying at? You could call and see if in fact there is a room reserved for him. Also is there a way you could meet the boss?? Maybe that could put your mind at ease too!! And if you really want to go, I say go!! Four hours isn't too long. You can always order food into the room if need be!! Take some toys, a book, whatever you need to to keep yourselves occupied!! If it were me, I'd be packing my bags as we speak if I felt that unnerved by it all...lol.

[shawnsgirl]

okay, so I'm not totally unnerved but he's probably right I would be bored. It would be nice to meet her. The last time she was in town I invited her to our home for supper three different times. One time she was too tired, the other time she said she was hungry for pizza instead, and the third time she said well, I don't know can shawn pick me up and drop me off from the hotel? At that point I was kind of like nevermind ya know? There was always a lame excuse for her turning down my invitation. Which after the third time I gave up trying to meet her. I think if she would have accepted it I would have felt better about this trip.

[WhiskeyGirl]

okay, so I'm not totally unnerved but he's probably right I would be bored. It would be nice to meet her. The last time she was in town I invited her to our home for supper three different times. One time she was too tired, the other time she said she was hungry for pizza instead, and the third time she said well, I don't know can shawn pick me up and drop me off from the hotel? At that point I was kind of like nevermind ya know? There was always a lame excuse for her turning down my invitation. Which after the third time I gave up trying to meet her. I think if she would have accepted it I would have felt better about this trip.

That is kind of odd to me, but that's just me! I guess what you have to do is decide what is most important to you, if you can trust her and if you can handle the situation if you stay home. Good luck!

[jeni740]

Ohhh NOOOO, if it was me Fh would Not under any circumstances be going, I trust Fh 100%, but I dont trust desperate women. I think its pretty crappy he has a job where he is stuck to travel with a woman you don't know. I would not be a happy camper and I don't think anyone in your position would feel any different than you do. Maybe its nothing, but why is she trying to avoid you so bad????I would tell him you want to meet her and that is that!! How would he feel in your shoes?

[WhiskeyGirl]

Ohhh NOOOO, if it was me Fh would Not under any circumstances be going, I trust Fh 100%, but I dont trust desperate women. I think its pretty crappy he has a job where he is stuck to travel with a woman you don't know. I would not be a happy camper and I don't think anyone in your position would feel any different than you do. Maybe its nothing, but why is she trying to avoid you so bad????I would tell him you want to meet her and that is that!! How would he feel in your shoes?

I have to agree that her avoidance seems so fishy to me too. Yes I guess I would ask him how he would feel if he were in your shoes!!

[AngelinLove]

I'd be going...that is all I can say about that. Take him up on the offer and see for yourself, if nothing else it will prove to her that you are not just gonna sit back and let her slither her way into your husband's arms....or whatever. I would just go and prove my point and let it be. All is fair in love and war, right?

[hummingbird521]

I'd be going...that is all I can say about that. Take him up on the offer and see for yourself, if nothing else it will prove to her that you are not just gonna sit back and let her slither her way into your husband's arms....or whatever. I would just go and prove my point and let it be. All is fair in love and war, right?

I agree with you. I would already have my bags packed and ready to go. I too trust my DH, but come on here, she seems to be avoiding you at any cost. That does seem fishy. Go and ease your mind and meet her. she will know then you are not taking the backseat to her.

[darkangel090260]

Ross has read your post this is a quite from him " he cheating on her". IMO I fill the same was. Because this smell really fishy. I would have a long talk with him and tell him you and your 5 year old will becoming on this trip.

[nic1124]

I agree with everyone else. Can you maybe just go for 1 day? at least to check things out? Personally I'd get someone to watch the kid and just go check up on it. If he loves you he will understand your feelings.

[lize566]

I would be going too. I don't think you would be that bored-hotels are always fun, and a lot of them have game rooms and/or indoor swimming pools. I would def. go so FH knows you really have a problem and so you can meet the boss. It seems very odd to me that she acted the way she did when you tried to meet her.

[shawnsgirl]

Well, I feel 100% better that maybe I'm not being so dumb. I talked to FH last night about this some more. He still thinks that I don't trust him. I told him look this isn't about you. I said I am uncomfortable with you traveling overnight with a woman that I do not know and seems to blow me off at every attempt I make to try to get to know her. I said it's not that I don't trust you becuase I do. But her behavior is rather odd. I said Shawn I've atleast known you for 7 years you have always been a faithful person even in the worst of situations I know I can trust you, you are my best friend. I said however, I have a RIGHT to own my feelings and I feel uncomfortable about all of this. He said well then just come along. I said, Shawn-how would you feel if you were in my shoes. He said I trust you...I said shawn-if my job made me travel overnight with a male co worker you would feel the same way. I know you all to well. He continued to deny that but come on, I know how he would react on this one. Then he asked me out of the blue about our honeymoon and how long we'll be away. I said for atleast a week. I asked why. He said that his boss asked him about it and said they he has a show to do September 11. Well, nothing has been set but I told him to basically to tell his boss to got to you know where on that one. We're not compromising our honey moon because he has a show to do. Forget it. In my far off planning mind I figured we'd take a day or two after the wedding to open gifts do our thank you cards and leave Sept. 4th for our honeymoon so we're not rushed into jetting off somewhere and that we'd probably stay a week. I said we're not coming home from our honeymoon and then the very next day he has to leave again. I said NO WAY!!! I am putting my foot down on this one! He said okay I will tell her. I said well if she has a problem with it give her my cell I'll be more than thrilled to tell her! LOL One thing that he did tell me that after this show this should be the last time she does any shows or has to travel with him, that he'll be on his own from here on out!!! THANK GOD!!! I told him the type of job he works is something that most "single" people do for a living not someone who is getting married and wants to start a family..That comment opened a whole other can of worms. He wants to try for a baby soon after were married (I would to if I didn't have a million things going on), while I'm taking care of my 5 and 3 yr old and going back to school plus working full time. That all just can't work if he is away more often than home. So, we had a LONG like 4 hour talk about the future. It was good and I think he's finally seeing where I have been coming from about his job. When he took this job last month-I advised him not to but told him if it makes him happy then it doesn't hurt to go for it and at least try it out. After last night I said I will give it a full year after that if I'm miserable and he's away as much as I think he is going to be then I told him he's going to need to do what is best for us not for him. He agreed to that. So, I am going to do everything in my power to go along. I know I probably have little or nothing to worry about, but in the end it will give me a piece of mind. Then hopefully this so called boss of his will just let him do his job and leave us alone! LOL
I feel so much better knowing that others would feel the same way I do if they were in the same situation. I'm honestly 99.9% sure nothing would happen and I know that if she did try anything I'm 99.9% sure he would give her the boot. I often wonder what her so called fiance thinks of all of this and how he feels ya know? Well, that's if she does have a fiance. Anyhow, I'll stop rambling on and on here! Thanks again ladies you are the best!

[4424]

wow good for you! that sounded like a great conversation. i'm glad you stuck up for yourself and didn't blame your feelings. i think usually you can tell about yourself if its just plain jealousy or just something isn't right. with this one, something isn't right seemed to be clearly on top!

[janeandreawong]

I agree.. I smell something fishy. :) Go with him and if it's okay with him and her, then you've got nothing to worry about, totally.. :)



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