Need advice on an Outside/Evening Wedding

[CindySue]

Those of you planning your weddings and receptions in the evening, are you catching a lot of flack about it? About the time, I mean.
My FH proposed on a full moon and that night while we were "star gazing" it came to me that I want a Candlelit Wedding under a Full Moon. I even want to do it next water to play up the moonlight better. I want a lighted arch and paper lanterns leading up to the arch as the only decorations for the ceremony. I dont think anything else is needed.
My problem is people complaining about the time. I chose 8pm, and it wont even be dark then, but I can make do. None of the people complaining go to bed before midnight on weekends anyway so I dont understand what the problem is here.
I considered changing it but my wonderful FH said this is what I want so this is what I will have.
My reception is going to be outside at our new home......We will be fixing it up between now and then and wont be moving in it until we get married. Well thats the plan anyway......We werent supposed to be living together now, but somehow we ended up doing it. I know exactly how I want things to look at the reception. With it being that late, should we serve a meal, BBQ/Potluck/Buffet type thing, or just serve snacks?
Since we will be having alcohol there, I do want to have some sort of food available, but Im not sure what appropriate for that time of night.
Thanks ladies.

[LaceyinPgh]

Your wedding sounds beautiful. There is nothing wrong withthe time you set, especially for the valid reason that you have. Some people cannot break away from the set ideas that a wedding is upposed to be this or that. A wedding is supposed to be what the bride and the groom want it to be. The next time someone say sosmething to you just tell them that you hope that htey can be there but you totally understand if they havea bedtime that they have to meet.

As for food, since your wedding starts at 8 your reception probably won't swing into gear until around 9. I think you can get away without serving a meal. I agree that since you are having alcohol and it is later in the evening, you do have to feed people. I would just have a buffet of finger foods that way people can drink and mingle and nibble. You could have things from veggie, fruit, and cheese trays to finger sandwiches, cocktail meatballs, crab cakes, ect. Are you doing your own food or having it catered?

[CindySue]

We will be doing our own food. It will NOT be big enough for waiters and such. My FH wants to do a BBQ type thing but how can we scale it back some to just snacking foods?
If we decide to have something decides just beer and wine, we might have someone manning the bar. I know a couple of people that would do it and I wouldnt have to worry about them getting too drunk.
With it being that late I had even thought about having a pre-wedding dinner. I dont know the ettiquette on that sort of thing. We arent doing groom not seeing the bride before the wedding thing. What do you think?
I love what you said to tell the ones that complain about the time. Thats priceless!!!!
Thanks.

[LaceyinPgh]

We will be doing our own food. It will NOT be big enough for waiters and such. My FH wants to do a BBQ type thing but how can we scale it back some to just snacking foods?
If we decide to have something decides just beer and wine, we might have someone manning the bar. I know a couple of people that would do it and I wouldnt have to worry about them getting too drunk.
With it being that late I had even thought about having a pre-wedding dinner. I dont know the ettiquette on that sort of thing. We arent doing groom not seeing the bride before the wedding thing. What do you think?
I love what you said to tell the ones that complain about the time. Thats priceless!!!!
Thanks.

Since you are doing your own food I would look at places like Costco and Sam's club. They have tons of just heat and serve appetizers and snack foods that they sell in large quantities. They are pretty good too. I used them for our annual Christmas party and they get rave reviews. Just make sur eyou have lots of cookie sheets. At places like that or even large grocery stores you can get cheese, veggie, fruits, and cookie trays made up to. It will save you all the chopping and cubing time.

As for the prewedding dinner, I have never heard of that being done. But there is a first time for everything. If you aren't worried about traditions of anything like that maybe you could have a small prewedding dinner with close family and friends before the ceremony and then the larger cocktail reception after. If you are a messy eater like I am though, don't wear your dress to dinner. You will still get the surprise factor from not doing that too.

[CindySue]

We are still working on the final details concerning this. My FH wants to do the BBQ thing, but I personally think that it will be too late for an actual sit down dinner. Maybe we can just have stuff for whomever wants to eat, if not they can just snack. We may just have a variety of every thing.
We still need to decide what all types of alcohol we are going to serve. Im thinking we are just having beer and wine, but who knows.
I was thinking maybe we could go with our parents and maybe the bridal party and have a dinner way befire the cereminy.....like maybe 3 or so.
Thats gives us time to finish any setting up that has to be done, and I can still get ready.
I really dont know how we are going to handle this......you are getting married right after me, how much do you have planned out so far?
I feel I dont have half planned of what I should.

[wedbyjean]

With it being that late I had even thought about having a pre-wedding dinner. I'm currently helping put the final touches on a New Years Eve wedding that's taking place at mom & dad's house. The evening will start with cocktails, then dinner outside in a tent, (we're getting heaters), followed by the ceremony in the living room, then back outside for dessert.

people complaining about the time Get a group of people together, and you will always have someone who complains, especially if it's outside their realm of what *should* be. Don't worry about it. You're being a thoughtful hostess, and it sounds like it will be beautiful and memorable evening. (Send us pictures!)

should we serve a meal, BBQ/Potluck/Buffet type thing, or just serve snacks For that time of night a meal isn't necessary, since your guests have sufficient time to get dinner themselves. What is the level of formality you're going for? Potluck and BBQ (in the form of sandwiches and ribs) tend to be less formal. The types of foods Lacey suggested are perfect for more of a cocktail style reception. If you do something like this, put 'cocktail reception' on your invitations, just to make sure your guests get it.

[timandkymmi]

I LOVE IT!!!

I myself am having an evening/outdoor ceremony by the water. We chose 7 pm in late September. Just in between sunset and moonlight. Just keep in mind... this is fr you and your soon-to-be husband... not everyone else. So do it the way you want to do it, this way it's YOUR memory.

My only suggestion is, if you're going to have it that late, you probably don't want to serve a full menu. A buffet line of finger foods would probably be perfect. An hors d' ouerve reception so to speak. It's be great

Good luck and happy planning!

[usahgrad]

Don't worry about people complaining. EVERYONE on your guestlist will have a complaint about something. My aunt doesn't want to drive three hours to the wedding, my cousin will be in France and doesn't want to miss the wedding, my mother thinks that meatballs aren't an entree (they're big ones by the way), my sister doesn't want to do the memorial I've planned for my father, my brother doesn't want to have to pay to rent a tux for his son and buy a dress for both his daughters, my sister-in-law doesn't think homemade bms dresses are such a good idea, my fmil thinks fried chicken is perfectly acceptable and doesn't see the use in spending extra money on something a little bit classier...ARGH!

Wow, I lost it there for a moment...but I'm sure you get the idea. Everyone is going to have a problem with something about your wedding, time, date, travel, etc. Remember that it is your day and while they are your guests and should be appeased to some extent, you are inviting them because you believe they love you; so, they should love you enough to bend a little bit for one day.

[CindySue]

Well I talked to my FMiL and FH about having a dinner followed by the ceremony. They both really liked the idea. That way I can push the time of the ceremony back a little to actually get more of the moonlight effect.
The only problem here is, if we do the dinner first, it will be better to have the entire thing at the same place.....my FH doesnt want to do that. We are having the reception at our home, and although there wouldnt be water, There is a beautiful area in the back yard where we could have the ceremony.

[CindySue]

OH, I forgot...... my FMiL said that if anyone has problems with the time of the wedding, then they dont have to be there. She understands our reasons for wanting in to be as untraditional as possible and she backs us on this.
We have revised our guest list and except for our attendants, the rest is family. There will probably be a few on there that wont come but thats ok with me.

[CindySue]

Ok.....we have decided to do the BBQ/Buffet style dinner, then the ceremony, then a drinks and dessert reception. All at the same place.
Im doing my own invitations, so how would I word this?
"Bride and Groom would like you to join them (or us) for dinner before they (or we) exchange wedding vows, on May 13th .....blah, blah, blah,.....Reception to follow"?
Anyone have something better?

Plus, does anyone have any websites or pics of lighted arches? Ive found a couple of pics but it not what Im looking for. I wanted a pic or two so I have something to work from. I plan on buying my arch and using it in my yard after the ceremony.

Thanks a bunch!!!!!

[LaceyinPgh]

For decoration ideas check out *******.com and weddingsolutions.com they usually have some nice decor ideas. Now for the invitaitons...how about something like this:

Bride and groom (insert full names)
invite you to attend their prewedding dinner
to be followed by their exchange of vows
on (insert day, time, location, ect. here)

(left or right corner) cocktails and dessert to follow

[CarlosHoney]

I think that what you're doing sounds great. It sounds beautiful, and romantic, and the best part is, it's exactly what YOU want.

I was going to have a late ceremony, but since we're not serving alcohol, we thought that it might be better to have an afternoon ceremony. That way, no one in their right minds would want to drink. And, we can go out afterward and have a nice evening to ourselves.

You could have a limited selection of BBQ, and some snacky things, as a lot of people won't want to eat that late. But, then again, the words FREE FOOD make everyone's tummies spare a little extra room.

[As You Wish]

You may consider carrying a candle in your bouquet. I have seen this done at a candle light wedding- wow what an impact.

Talk to your stationary store (or who ever is doing the invitations) they should have a million ideas. To get you started I found this is from a wedding invitation book:
First line: Host- written in third person, who is inviting
Second line: Request- i.e. invites you to celebrate their marriage
Third line: Event- this is where you tell your guests what they are being invited too
Fourth: Bride and Groom line- Name the bride and groom individually
Fifth- Date and Year- self explanatory
Sixth- Time –again you get it.
Location line- Name of the place you are having the wedding
Address line- self explanatory
Reception line- reception immediately following
RSVP line

Following this form I would add say that they are invited to a wedding ceremony to be preceded by a formal dinner.