Is a wedding on a small budget possible. [Archive]

lesley

09-27-2005, 01:45 PM

Hello ladies,

My name is Lesley and I am a 28 year old bride to be. I am so discouraged right about now. I deserve the wedding of my dreams, but I know it is not going to happen. Why? you might ask, because my fiance and I are flat broke. If we save the max we can by our wedding date (May, 20th 2006), we will only have 6 or 7 thousand dollars for the wedding. And just forget about a honeymoon.

My mother died of cancer in 2003, so looking forward to sharing this special and fustrating time with her is just not going to happen. My father is an acholic, not sure he will even be able to walk me down the isle let alone help me with finances. My fiance's parents are on disability. So we have no one to turn to.

I hope that someone has been or knows someone in my same place that can shed some light.

I am realistic, I know that I cannot pull off an "Ophra Wedding", but I do want it to be beautiful and memorable. How can I achieve this on our budget. We live in Lexington, Ky and our guest list is so iffy, but we figure around 100 - 150 guests including the wedding party. How can we cut down on costs all over the board without sacrificing elegance? i don't want to break down and elope or get married at the courthouse, but if something doesn't break, I will!

How in the hell am I going to pull this off, I don't know where to begin, who to turn to, and it is starting to take all of the excitement I have for my special day.

Help us!

CarlosHoney

09-27-2005, 01:54 PM

I'm having my dream wedding for $1500 bucks. I'm doing a lot myself, though, so I'm saving wads of cash.

The best thing to do is sit down and write out the TOP 5 things that you want. My list went like this:

1. A Beautiful Cake
2. No Booze
3. Vegetarian Food
4. Real Roses
5. A Nice Reception Site

This is how I'm saving money:

I'm taking advantage of every possible free item/service that I can:

Hair-My mom is a hairdresser. Most of the time, if you don't have someone you go to, your mom/sister/grandma/In law's know a great stylist who will give a good price for their services.

Makeup-My MOH is a makeup artist. My mom also works at Ulta cosmetics, so she is going to get the makeup at a nice discount. I know that some makeup counters will do your makeup free when you purchase something from them.

Officiant-FH's dad is certified to do ceremonies. He got it at http://www.ulc.org/ You can always find a friend/family member who is a little quirky and would love to add Minister to their resume. Most churches request a donation in exchange for an officiant, others will do it for free.

Attire-My dress is being made for me by my Step Mom's Mom. She has made all of her daughters prom & wedding dresses.. She's doing it in leu of a wedding present. I'm sure your mom/aunt/grandma knows someone who is a great seamstress. Just pick out a few patterns that you like, and you can mix and match dress details for a reasonable price.

Favors-Step Mom's Dad is a Bee Keeper. So, all that honey will be put to good use. I'm sure that you can find an artisan of some sort who will be honored to supply for a wedding for reasonable prices.. Also, candy is always a favorite. My FH's Cousin gave out little tulle wrapped kisses and hugs for favors.

Flowers-www.costco.com has wedding packages, but you can also buy the flowers wholesale at a better rate. I'm doing my own flowers, and ordering from www.organicbouquets.com because that's important to me.

Catering-We found a location that would allow us to self cater. We are having an hors d'oeuvres and cake reception, and limiting the ammount of alcohol being served. All of the food will be locally grown, and/or organic.

Photography-We have a friend in photography school, so we agreed to help with the cost of the film and paper in exchange of her services for the day. You can probably find student photographers for very reasonable prices, just ask to see their portfolio.

Music-We are burning CDs with all of the songs on them. Also, try student musicians and DJs, they offer great prices as well.

Anything is cheaper off season.. I live in San Antonio, a very tourist driven city, so between September and February it's much less expensive to get locations and catering, and FH's cousin got married on September 11th because the locations were having a hard time booking that day.

Good luck, and if you need anything else, email me at 7uckily@gmail.com

wedbyjean

09-27-2005, 02:20 PM

A few tips for keeping wedding finances from getting out of hand:

Determine a maximum number of guests to invite and stick to it!!! Remember, additional guests = more than just an extra plate of food. You'll need extra beverages, tables, chairs, table clothes, centerpieces, etc.

Have the wedding & reception earlier in the day rather than later. Earlier events typically don't require as much food, and guests are less apt to miss having alcohol served.

Consider an "off season" month, or day other than a Saturday. Many places will offer discounts for these times.

Use as many of the floral and other decorative elements that were used at the ceremony at the reception as well (just make sure they're easy to "grab & drop" since there probably won't any time for a lot of reception set up after the ceremony is done).

Beware of buying things on a whim. $20 here and $20 there may not sound like much, but it will add up quickly.

FH's dad is certified to do ceremonies. He got it at http://www.ulc.org/ Make sure he also registers in the state where the wedding will take place, or it won't be legal. Just getting ordained is not enough.

bnd94

09-27-2005, 02:41 PM

You can absolutely have the wedding of your dreams. The wedding of my dreams is everything I love that I can afford! I have champagne taste on a beer budget(I think that is how the saying goes..LOL) I don't plan to spend much on our wedding. We are paying for it all ourselves and I don't want any dept afterwards.

What kind of wedding do you want? inside/outside? Church or not? Usually you can save alot of money by planning an outdoor wedding. What are your ideas so far? Maybe we can help you find things cheaper or give ideas how you can make it yourself.

lesley

09-27-2005, 03:31 PM

THANK YOU GUYS FOR RESPONDING SO QUICKLY!!!

I have been thinking of my top 5 things.

1. Beautiful reception
2. Beautiful dress
3. Transportation
4. Great photos
5. Lovely ceremony

Now this list was off the top of my head, but I know it is pretty accurate.

Beautiful dress - I found a couple sites that offer dresses around 100-300 dollars because they are manufacturers or wholesale providers to bridal shops. Negative is that I can't try it on, I can't really see the detail, I have to get it cleaned, and I only have a couple of 3 days to return it if need be. and then, I have to pay shipping, restocking fees, ect.

Great photos- I heard a lot about getting students. I wouldn't know where to begin to do this, but when I look for these indivduals do I need to look for recent grads, is there a place in the paper I can look, how can I attract these individuals. Negative is that they are inexperienced and there is no guarantee that they will show up. I know if I was a student or recent grad and I partied Saturday night, going to shoot a wedding for little or nothing the next afternoon isn't so appealing to me.

Transportation - All I know is that I will not leave my ceremony in my 1995 Nissan Max. What type of transportation do I rent? Do I need it before the wedding or just after, Does the wedding party ride with us or do they require their own car. I would really like a horse drawn carriage , but I know that my budget can even blink at it.

Lovely ceremony - This is a given, I believe that decoration will make it memorable and I know that there are a lot of things I can do myself to decorate that is cheap. Negative is that I don't have a creative bone in my body, nor does my hubby to be.

Beautiful reception - I will take the advice and have a Sunday wedding. Cheaper than Saturday wedding and more practical than a Friday wedding. I don't plan on having Lobster and Steak on the menu. I want nice, great tasting food that isn't going to hit me. Chicken or something. I read that I can get a fake cake (all but the top layer) and serve guest sheet cake. I could burn cd's in place of a dj, I will still need somone to announce certain things and make it entertaining, not to mention a sound system.

I don't know, maybe I just need a little encouragement from you ladies to let me know it can be done. The rest is really hard work on my part i guess. But that is the thing, with all of this, me planning, me doing everything, majority of my money that we are using, I just dont' feel pampered like a bride to be should feel

lesley

09-27-2005, 04:03 PM

Sorry for the long and multiple posts guys but like I said, I don't have my mom nor do my fiance and I have a good support group (family, friends) as most people have. Its just us and our kids.

But let me say this before I take up any more of your time. I really and truly from the bottom of this country girls heart appreciate the support (big or small) that you guys are giving!

Now, the sad thing is, the only wedding I ever been to was back in the 80's when I was a flower girl for my cousins wedding. So what is to be done, how things go, I am totally clueless. But I will share my ideas and wishes so far of the limited stuff I know and you girls can be my reality team. Hit me with the reality stick when need be :D

Me and my fiance have 6 kids between us. 3 girls and 3 boys, I was thinking of having all of them as flower girls and ring barers, but what will 2 of the 3 boys have on their pillows?

I wanted a church wedding, but that is pretty much out on a Sunday, outdoors in May in Kentucky is up in the air. I am really not comfortable with this idea, probably because I never seen or been to one. I don't want to have my wedding in a hotel if at all possible but I am not closing the door on the outdoor or hotel wedding just yet.

I really don't want our reception to be so formal. I want everyone to celebrate and have a good time, but no one really parties on a Sunday afternoon.

I have 7 brothers ( I am the youngest and only girl) and I want them all to walk me down and give me away. I think this will be special because it will symbolize the whole "big brother don't mess with my lil sister" thing.

and instead of jumping a broom or in addition to lighting candles (they do this don't they?) I want me and my fiance to both have a piece of material to tie together in a knot (symbolizing tieing the knot)

So far that is all I have, but I still am clueless of where to begin.

sstark1218

09-27-2005, 05:12 PM

Also check out www.*******.com and www.ezweddingplanner.com They are both EXCELLENT sources for budgets, planning, and everything you'll need to make this happen! Good Luck!

bnd94

09-28-2005, 09:33 AM

It sounds like you have a pretty good idea of what you would like. They all sound like great ideas. I will try to help you out as much as possible. Don't feel bad I don't have anyone helping me either, but I have all the support from all these girls on here! :D and so do you

I don't go to church but I know people who do and most of them go Sunday morning, usually it's over by noon at the latest. aybe you could still have the church wedding you want, just have it in the afternoon?

If you want to get a student to do your photography maybe you could go to your local college(if there is one local) and talk to the teacher of the photography class and see if they can recommend one student in particular that does a good job and is mature enough to show up on time. I plan to have family take pictures for me to get the shots I want and then I will put the disposable on all the tables so I can get a variety of pictures.

I don't think you have to be really creative to make some things for your wedding. How about the flowers. What colors do you like? You can make a handtied bouquet pretty easily. The centerpieces may be a little tricky but it all depends on what you want. I am going to do candles and my wedding is in the fall so instead of petals all around I am going to use silk leaves. You can buy a kit to make invitaions. Then all you would need is a computer and a good printer. There are lots of things you could make yourself those are just a few and we would all give you ideas on how to make them, just ask. I know you can do it!!

Could your boys walk down with the flower girls? They don't all have to carry a pillow. They could help the flower girl throw out petals or something. But if you want them to carry a pillow they make other things for the boys to carry. I can't think of what it was called though. I will look around.

There are also sites that make dress knock offs. The dress I want was $300 at one place but I can get a very similar dress for $50 from a knock off site. They even custom make it for your body, so hopefully no alterations will be needed. Also you can get flowergirl dresses cheap too if you search around.

I think I have covered almost everything from your post. I am not sure what to say about transportation. Maybe you could rent a car for a day or check around you never know you may be able to find someone who does carriage rides cheaper.

Sorry for such a long post....

bnd94

09-28-2005, 09:35 AM

I found the other thing I was talking about to have your ringbearer carry. Here it is:

http://www.celebrations-galore.com/stores/store.xfm?Store_id=426&page_id=23&Item_ID=20581&parent_ids=0,78

CarlosHoney

09-28-2005, 11:51 AM

The transportation, I'm sure you can find an antique car club and a nice person more than happy to help out some newlyweds.

Try on the dress you like at a bridal shop, see how you feel about it, then order it. Order it a size big, then get it altered. If it doesn't fill your heart with joy, ebay!

For the photography, just go to the college and talk to the professor. The girl that I'm friends with wouldn't blow the opurtunity to get a paying gig. If she got someone to pay her to take photos, she's be there, and be there early. If they're a serious student, they'll be there. If they're not serious, you don't want them taking your wedding photos anyway.

You don't need creativity!! We've got it for you! For the decoration, just get a bunch of fake flowers, make 'flower balls' with styrofoam, and hang them with ribbon from each pew. For the reception, candles are cheap, beautiful, and cheap. Use candles and some petals, or some pretty votives.

You can get glass stain for pretty cheap and do your monogram. All you have to do is get a cylander(sp?) and tape a printed sheet of your monogram to the inside, trace along and paint the outside, let it dry!

The best thing that I am doing is having a very small guest list. 65 at the MAX. If you're serving dinner, definitley keep the list down. Also, talk to your caterer about what is in season, if they are doing another dinner that night, see if you can 'piggyback' and serve the same thing. It's much less expensive for them to make a whole lot of one thing than a lot of two things.

Good luck!! www.freewebs.com/7uckily <----My ideas

lesley

09-29-2005, 03:15 PM

Smooches to all you ladys! You are taking some stresses away and replacing it with encouragement. Just what I need! THANK YOU!

bnd94, that was a great site and idea for the rest of our boys. I may use that but it also gave me ideas of other things they can do! :D :D :D
Also, can you email me or post some website addresses for knock off dresses or do you know of a good key word to search for on yahoo? That would REALLY help!

Carlo'sHoney, I am glad that you are trying to help me and I don't want to sound unappreciative, but I haven't a clue about glass stain, monogram or cylander ?? What is this used for. I told you honey, I have never been to a wedding so I don't even know what I want, what I should have as opposed to what I can choose to have. That is why I really want to get a planner because they know all about weddings. How can I plan one when I've never been to one and don't even know what a **** monogram is supposed to be for? :oops: :oops: :oops: You guys better stop laughing at me! :lol:

bnd94

09-29-2005, 03:38 PM

Sure here are the sites I have found so far:

I'm not sure about this one click on it and you will see what I mean.
http://www.thebeautifulbrideokc.com/index.html

http://stores.ebay.com/BRIDES-GALLERY_W0QQssPageNameZVIStoreHeaderLinksQQtZkm?

This is the one I think I am going to get my dress from. I have emailed them a couple times with pics of the dress I want them to make and they have been so nice and someone on another forum got their dress here and loved it.
http://stores.ebay.com/Kanacca_W0QQssPageNameZVIStoreHeaderLinksQQtZkm?

This place has really reasonable prices
http://www.shopshop.com/?source=google&kw=gown

CarlosHoney

09-29-2005, 05:06 PM

Sorry!! I am in wedding mode.. :oops:

But, that's for the centerpieces. I might be ahead of myself here. Try www.onewed.com or www.*******.com to look at pictures of real weddings, and to get an idea of what you want. I'm a BIG planner, so you tell me what you like, what colors suit you, what kind of feeling you want your wedding to have, and I'll give you some ideas.

The monogram is usually your names and last name, or just the initial of your last name. So, if I were to do the monogramed cylanders, it would pretty much be a tube of glass with an 'M' on it, with a candle inside. Pretty simple, cheap, and nice to look at. The glass stain is just paint that is best suited for glass. You use it to 'paint' the initial on the glass.

I'm not laughing at you, I am laughing WITH you. I was where you are about 6 months ago. In you need any help, just let me know!

If you want a wedding planner, just make sure that it's someone who can stick to your budget, understands what you want, and is going to help you get it. Honestly, though, if you do a little reading and research, you can plan it all and save the fee.

Again, 7uckily@gmail.com is where you can reach me. I can send you some pictures and websites that might help you to get a hold on this whole wedding planning thing.

lesley

09-30-2005, 09:27 AM

I know you guys aren't really laughing at me, (YOU BETTER NOT BE! :twisted: ) and I know you understand and care or else you wouldn't be a member of this board and you **** sure wouldn't post any help.

Well I have been over myself Honey trying to get it together. I don't want to please no one but myself because it is my day. I love butterflies. I have several butterfly tatoos, jewelry, ect. My fiance said to have a butterfly release (don't know if we can afford it thought at
$85 per dozen plus $45 shipping) but it is a good idea. I would love a horse drawn carriage (again going out of my mind here).

But I was thinking that my theme (I heard weddings should have a theme to keep you coordinated) would be something like "Spring Butterflies or May Butterflies or something to this effect. I was thinking of replacing some of my flowers with butterflies like having the flower girls throw butterflies on the floor instead of rose petals, but this would be to much wouldn't it. Or if not the colors of the roses would definately be the colors of my theme. I heard to get a fake cake with only the top layer a real cake because it is cheaper and serve guests sheet cake. Well I know on my cake I would want butterflies and flowers on it. I don't want to over do the butterfly thing though. Definately fake butterrfly on the taples with rose petals.

My favorite colors are pastel colors like light pinks and lime greens, I love lavander also and just might steal your colors and ideas. I love your pic of the flowers and stuff. Don't worry honey, I am all the way in Ky so I wouldn't think you'd mind. Light colors look good on me because I am light skinned. But I heard that going with a black and white wedding saves money too.

I am not too much concerned about keeping up with the "Jones" I want to be different, like having 3 flower girls and 3 ring bearers, like having all 7 of my brothers give me away. Is this too much?

bnd94

09-30-2005, 03:55 PM

OMG I have a butterfly tattoo too! I LOVE butterflies!!
Ok now about the butterfly release. I don't want to rain on your parade or anything just want to make sure you know because I wanted to do this too until I read on other forums about couples who did this and it didn't work as planned. In one case the box was opened but the butterflies just stayed in the box and some landed on people and could fly away. In another case half the butterflies were dead when the box was opened. :( . I would hate to spend the money and have that happen.

I couldn't find where your monogram question was answered so I will try my best. I actually just learned about this too, so your not alone and noone will laugh at you here, we're her to help. I am assuming you have seen a monogram and wondered just like I did what each letter stood for. The biggest letter in the center is the first letter in your last name and the smaller letters on each side is the first letter of each of your names. I think I stated that right.

I think the flowergirls throwing butterflies would be cute. That would be a great theme, definetly unique. I don't think I have seen it anywhere. The colors that you listed would look perfect with this theme too. I can picture the bouquet with little butterflies on the flowers. So pretty!!

And lastly I wouldn't worry about wether or not having your 7 brother walk you down would be too much. I think it would be great and unique. And like you said it is your day so do whatever makes you happy. I am sure your brothers would be honored!

Have a great weekend!

rainbowtreat

09-30-2005, 08:42 PM

For the 6 children you have in your wedding. I also am having 6 in mine. 2 of which are mine. The others are family members and one of a close friend. My 2 are going to be a Junior bride and groom. Then we have 2 ring bearers which if you actually put the real rings on the pillows they each can carry one and then have 2 flower girls. Just a thought. For my reception we have having a pot luck, this is my second wedding but his first and we just want to have fun and not to worry about anything for the day so we are going to have a pot luck as well having a grill that my brother in law is maintaing. The wedding and reception is going to outside at my sisters house and they are providing the music. I am getting alot of my things as gifts as my photos and flowers from my friends. It is easy to have a nice beautifull wedding for very little money. One we are makign our own invatations. Good luck.

CarlosHoney

09-30-2005, 11:47 PM

Butterfly release would be pretty, but I just wouldn't do it. It's not nice to the butterflies!! :wink: Butterlies woulbe a be a beautiful theme. MY advice to keep it simple and manageable:

Choose your favorite color, and your favorite flower. If you're open to ideas about the flowers, find out what flowers are in season and which ones would be less expensive.

I've seen beautiful faux butterflies made from feathers. You could do bouquets with butterflies in them, and I think that butterfly shaped confetti would be very cool for the flower girls.

Take all the ideas you want!! I think that it's very cool for people to share ideas and borrow from each other. Pretty centerpiece idea, flowers with two butterflies on wire 'flying' above the flowers.

And about the cake, it just depends on the size of the guest list.. How big are you planning? My list is 50, and our cake will cost around $250. My baker charges 2.50 a slice for white cake, buttercream icing, and whatever filling you want. Also, the price includes the top tier for freezing.

Email me if you have any other questions! I'd love to help you plan!

lesley

10-02-2005, 08:22 PM

I have sooooo many ideas now because of you guys. I am still and probably will be confused on a lot of things. Like my colors. I have decided to go with the butterfly theme so now I need to pick my colors and stick to them don't I or I will have a uncoordinated ceremony and reception.

I want all my colors to flow with each other and like I said before, I love pastel pinks, lavanders, greens, and baby blue but which go with which? I think I definately want lavendar because I found this one link http://www.ellaparkbridal.com/s.nl/sc.2/category.1109/.f that has purple in it, but lavander and purple don't look the same. I mean I will have so many colors to choose from with doing butterflies. Where do I use color and where do I leave it out?

So far (without the color involved) I was thinking of doing the following:

Ceremony

Butterfly accented guestbook
Flower decor on each pew accented with butterflies
Flower girls dresses, hair and flower basket accented with butterflies
Flower girls tossing silk rose petals with a touch of butterfly confetti of sort
Maids hair accented with butterfly hair sticks
My gown, hair and jewelry accented with butterflies
A butterfly united candle.

The Getaway
Guest throwing butterfly confetti, silk rose petals, or blowing bubbles. (havent decided)
Transported in a horse drawn carriage or luxury vehichle (whichever is the cheapest. Don't be suprised, KY is the horse capital of the world so a horse drawn carriage might not be that expensive.

Reception
Tables decorated with a homemade centerpiece (just as honey noted) accented with silk petals and butterflies.

This is pretty much all that I have came up with thus far. Once I decide on my colors I think I will be able to plan and visualize a little better.

CarlosHoney

10-03-2005, 01:17 AM

Sounds good!! I think that any of those colors would look nice. The main thing you want to remember, though, is that you don't want too many colors. It will come off looking like an easter egg hunt. I personally think that lavender with a minty green would look beautiful, and it would be very subtle. I like the butterfly stuff, and keep in mind that you can make a lot of that stuff for 1/4 of the cost.

I also think that the Flight of Fancy collection is the prettiest. The Butterfly Wishes looks a little, hmm, how to put it......overdone? I think that the stuff on the second page has butterflies on it, looks nice, but isn't all about the butteflies. With a large ammount of butterfly stuff, you might want to go with a more subtle look, like Lavender and White with touches of green.

I think it sounds really lovely, though!! Check at local craft stores and ebay for butterfly stuff. With spring coming up, you might be able to get a few things on sale with butterflies on them. I don't remember your date.. Sorry! But, as an example, come Christmas, I'm going to get a few boxes of tree lights and put them away for the wedding.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

lesley

10-03-2005, 09:12 AM

See, that is what I am trying to stay away from is 'over doing it.' I don't want to involve to many colors or colors that don't match. So do you guys think I should go with plain butterflies for the most part and add some color butterflies here and there?

CarlosHoney

10-03-2005, 10:37 AM

I think that white butterflies with soft colors is the way to go. Maybe even the hint of other color that you want could be exclusively in the butterflies.. Say you like pink with the lavender, so do pink butterflies and no other pink.

But, I think that you'll have an easier time finding white butterflies, and that set 'Flight of Fancy' is really nice, and they're white there. Plus, if you wanted to add some color here and there with the set, you can add a ribbon or something.

It sounds like you're on the right track! :wink:

bnd94

10-03-2005, 01:18 PM

Here is a great link for a butterfly theme
http://www.askginka.com/themes/butterflytheme.htm

lesley

10-03-2005, 03:42 PM

That is a great link. Thank you soooo much!

Nique

10-04-2005, 08:29 AM

:D Hi Mizz_Lesley, Your request is not impossible at all. I put together a wedding and reception for 4000. I can be done if you shop right.

lesley

10-04-2005, 12:12 PM

Thanks Nique! :D

Do you mind sharing your tips and tricks with me on how you did it? I know that we are in different area codes, but I do have family in the Bronx and I used to stay there (235th & White Plains), so maybe getting some of the deals you did won't be impossible, plus I may still be able to use your advice here at home.

Email me or post if you don't mind.

Thanks,
Les

CarlosHoney

10-04-2005, 12:25 PM

I came across this picture and thought to pass it along to you:

http://images.*******.com/galleries/weddingcakes/gal_cake14_L.jpg

You could change up the colors and whatnot, but I think it's a stunning cake!

Nique

10-04-2005, 12:43 PM

Hi Les, email me when you get this, and we can get started.
Nique nique_1999@yahoo.com

lesley

10-04-2005, 01:35 PM

OMG HONEY!

That is an AWESOME cake!!! It is so beautiful. I just hope I can get a baker to make it for me without charging me an arm and a leg. If I was to get a prop cake with a real "top layer" only, and serve sheet cake to my guests, how much do you think it would run?

Thanks Honey!

lenor_1

10-04-2005, 02:52 PM

Here is an awesome idea that I will be using for my wedding and Hun I have less to spend than you. I found this to be whimsical and fun and plus the kids will love it. I had the colors change since my wedding is in December and the top will be a small round cake for the cutting ceremony. You could even have different flavors so your guest can pick what they want.

http://www.weddingfads.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=185

lenor_1

10-04-2005, 03:04 PM

This is more of what we are going to do

http://www.trifleschocolate.com/largepicpages/cupcaketower.htm

Just to add when i started planning my dream wedding there was a lot on my list that i couldnt live with out. I would get very upset when looking at the numbers realizing it wasnt going to happen. So afetr a long day going over everything I realized in the end all that i cared about was that I was getting married. My family will be happy whether it was in a ball room or in grandmas back yard and im sure your family and freinds feel the same. So just relax enjoy this and if you dont get everything on your wish list in the end no one will notice what could have been. Just have fun.

CarlosHoney

10-04-2005, 04:19 PM

To get a cake drcorated is very expensive, and quite honestly, I don't like the idea of doing the sheet cake thing. I would just show them the picture and ask the price.

How big is your guest list? That's the biggest determining factor in cake price.

I've heard that fake cakes can be just as expensive, so it's worth a shot. I'm doing my wedding on $1500, and that is it. My best advice is to come up with a portfolio of pictures that you like, and ideas, and priorities. Then, on the stuff that doesn't matter, scale back or leave out completely. Favors, bathroom baskets, personalised napkins, all that stuff is unnessecary.

To me, I wanted a pretty dress, a delicious cake, some purple roses, and my honey with me. That's all I really truly care about. If it's not a *need* just don't worry about it. And keep your guest list small. That's really the best way to keep it in budget.

I'm glad you like the cake, and after seeing it, I am having second thoughts about what I want for my cake..

lesley

10-06-2005, 06:29 AM

Well, if I have found out one good thing. If I go to Krogers, Myers, Walmart, or any other major grocery store, I don't have to pay for my cake. Don't ask me why. Well, I don't mind telling you guys, it may help someone else out.

My cousin (she has 6 kids) she is getting it for me (if I choose the above) as a gift. She is going to pay for it with her EBT? card. Since she really can't afford to buy me anything with cash, she figured this would be an awesome thing.

But I tell you, I saw some of the wedding cakes at Kroger and I just about threw up. OMG, there were so 80's. I ask the bakery if I brought in a pic could they try to demonstrate it and she said if it wasn't to hard so we'll see.

usahgrad

10-06-2005, 07:06 AM

I know lots of people who only get 5000 for their wedding, myself included. I'm adding in a little bit now and then when I have extra (picking up $15 worth of bubbles at Target, for example). But that's what we've got and we're making it work.

May I suggest something (I'm sure you've already heard but I just figured out not so long ago myself)? Cater yourself. Look to hire a couple of servers from a local college or something and pick out some throw in the oven food.

Look into city parks and buildings for a reception site. My reception site only cost $150. And there's a site at the natatorium here that is gorgeous and runs around the same price!

Keep your flowers simple. Tulips are cheaper than roses (I say that because I'm getting married the week before you and I've bought all my flowers for less than $300--sure I'm going to spruce up the reception site a bit with some fake flowers, but not enough to put myself in the poor house).

Do a simple centerpiece: we have long tables and I'm going to put thirteen wine glasses (that I'm buying from the dollar store) down the middle of each, pop some floating candles in them, and spread some fabric flower petals (that I caught on sale at michael's for only $4 for the big box) around them. There is beauty in simplicity.

There's a book that might help you. I can't remember the exact title, but it's something about 1001 or 101 ways to save money on your wedding. Oh, last tip: rent all your bridal books and magazines from the local library then type out/copy the pages you want to keep for reference. What's the point in spending all that money on books that will only help you out for one day.

Good luck! And I'm there with you! This bridal stuff is expensive!

CarlosHoney

10-06-2005, 01:30 PM

Usahgrad-great ideas. I've got $1500 to spend, so those ideas really are good ones. I'm doing something similar to your centerpiece.. It looks like this:

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a36/rosesarestriped/lrg_votive5.jpg

But, I'm using the purple petals instead of red. Truly is less expensive. Candles are a godsend with weddings.

Another thing that I might not have mentioned, you can hook up with a bride and piggyback. If you're both using the same colors, you can buy the stuff and share. Split the cost of the item and shipping. Especially for stuff like centerpieces, candle votives, serving sets, baisicly the stuff that gets used once and never used again. Then you can ebay it to make your money back!

WebLady

10-06-2005, 01:59 PM

Forgive me if any of my comments are repeats from what others have said, I only skimmed through the tread ...

First let me say that I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I lost my mother in law before we got married and it was hard for me but I know that she was there is spirit :wink:

As for your budget, like the others have said you CAN have a beautiful wedding without breaking the bank! You just have to be flexible and creative :wink:

Here are some tips (I may have posted some of these before but I can't remember) ...

1. Consider a fall or winter wedding. Spring and summer are �prime time� in the wedding industry. Getting married in the off season could save you big bucks. Also consider A Friday or Sunday evening or even a weekday evening.

2. Get married where you live. With lodging, travel and time off work, out of town weddings often mean extra expense for everyone involved.

3. Find a location that can host your ceremony and reception all in one. This can sometimes save money and headache. Try a banquet hall or hotel � some churches have banquet halls too, however many churches do not allow music or alcohol so keep this in mind if that is something
you want at your wedding. Public parks, gardens, community buildings and historical buildings are often great spots for weddings too and you can usually get great deals on them! With an outdoor wedding, be sure to have a back up plan in case the weather doesn't cooperate.

4. Cut back on the number of attendants in the wedding party. You don�t need to have 7 bridesmaids and groomsmen and 3 flower girls! There is absolutely nothing wrong with having only 1 or 2 bridesmaids and an escort/groomsman for each. More than 4 is a little much. And use the groomsmen as ushers and candle lighters too! The fewer attendants you have, the less you have to spend on flowers and on gifts!

5. Cut down on the guest list. Do you really need to invite your 3rd grade teacher, some stranger your mother works with that you have never met, your second cousin that you haven�t seen or heard from in years, and the neighbor you barely speak to? Think about it; the fewer the guests, the less you have to spend on food and if you cut back enough, you might even be able to rent a smaller facility!

6. Shop for your dress in the fall/winter and/or shop last year�s styles. Again, with spring and summer being �prime time� you might be able to find better deals in the off season. You might even ask about gowns that may have been ordered and never picked up. Look for off the rack and discontinued style specials and check consignment shops, classifieds and eBay too.

7. Go for cheaper flowers. Not only should you look for flowers that are in season at the time of your wedding; you might also consider a cheaper, more common flower altogether. Example: Roses are a
popular wedding flower but carnations are often cheaper and just as beautiful. Consider a Bouquet using hand-tied stems and use loose cut flowers in vases rather than sculptured centerpieces. Or even use simple rose petals and candles for table decorations.

8. Go for a buffet service at the reception. Compare seated service at close to $50 or more per person (adding in the service staff) to less than $20 per person for a buffet. Multiply that times the average 100 guests! You do the math! You might even consider a �mini reception� with just cake and punch, and then have a party at someones' house later or even after the honeymoon.

9. Hire a photographer just for the formal shots. Photography is one of the most important things in your wedding so you don't want to settle for less than professional quality! You can save big bucks on photography by cutting back on the time the photographer is there. Consider hiring the photographer for only a few hours rather than the whole day. Have all the formal portraits done before the wedding, and have someone else get the ceremony and the candid shots. Don�t want to see the groom before the wedding � and want professional ceremony shots? Then do most of the formals before the wedding, have the photographer shoot the ceremony and then finish the formals afterwards. (approx 3 hrs) Have disposable cameras at the reception and/or have a friend get the important reception shots. Another way to save on photography is in labor costs, so consider just getting the proofs and put together a nice album or scrapbook yourself. (be sure they don't have 'proof' stamped all over them) Just be careful about hiring a student or other inexperienced photographer.

10. DIY Favors - Buy or make labels on your computer and decorate them with your wedding colors and maybe a photo and/or a poetic saying. Then place them neatly on unique items that your guests will appreciate like scented soaps, golf balls, sparkling cider drinks, and scented candles.

11. DIY Invitations/Thanks you cared - make them on your computer at home. You can buy nice papers at places like Michael's

12. Whether you use DIY Shop early and shop around. Give yourself time to find what you need and at the best deals. When you are pressed for time, you leave yourself with fewer options and that leaves you open to be taken advantage of.

Best of luck!

~ WebLady :)

Mama2McKenna

10-07-2005, 12:48 AM

I'm also doing a budget wedding, and really it's not hard.
I'm not getting a planner because honestly, they would just get on my nerves. I want my wedding my way and no one is going to get in my way. Planners do. Sorry, Bridezilla moment.
I have my priorities list
1. Reception
2. Dress
3. Pics
4. Flowers

We are trying to keep it under $5000, DH and I, we got married last yr but this is the formal wedding, are paying for most and my parents are going to fill in the gaps.

My biggest $ saver is EBAY!!! I just bought my veil, covered in rhinestones for $21 after shipping. I bought my centerpieces, my petticoat, tons of stuff and have already saved $100s.

We are having a night wedding. it will be at 6 so people will have time to eat before and the invites say "cake reception" so they know to eat. That cut atleast $3000. Though we will have fruit and veggie platters just for snacks.

I'm spending the most on services, like photographer, florist and venue

lesley

10-07-2005, 06:40 AM

That is an excellent idea Mamma2McKenna. It's funny, I am Mamma2McKenzie, as well as Mamma2Pa'Shine and Kris, but that is beside the point :D

I was sitting here thinking, I know everyone says to cut down on your guest list and don't invite people you really don't come in contact with everyday, but our family is different.

We both have the same family values, we may not see or talk to each other everyday, but when there is something to celebrate (graduations, birthdays, WEDDINGS) everyone shows up and supports like we live everyday with each other.

Another dilema was RSVP. Now, where we are from, our culture, and the way we were brought up, people don't RSVP. Some in our family don't even know what RSVP really stand for, but anyway I think your idea is a good one that me and my fiance might consider. I just want my reception to be a big celebration. I will talk to him about having a "cake reception" with some trays and maybe beer and wine only (they can pay and pour their one troubles if you know what I mean)

But I must admit, the hardest thing we have ran into is our guest list. We know pretty much who we want to invite, but not sure if they will show up. It doesn't mean that we are not important, because I have forgot about a cousins wedding before, bought a dress for my and my girls and when 9pm that night rolled around, finally a light switched went off.

bnd94

10-07-2005, 06:58 AM

If the people in your family don't RSVP maybe you or someone in your family can call the people your not sure about to see if they are coming. That may help avoid having food for them and then they don't come. I know it sounds like a pain in the butt but it may save quite a bit of money.

CarlosHoney

10-07-2005, 11:18 AM

I agree. Someone needs to know who is coming!!

I'm having a little bit of grazing stuff and cake.

"Please join us after the ceremony for hors d'voures and dessert. "

That's what we're doing!!

rainbowtreat

10-16-2005, 12:49 PM

I also am on a budget. I am Trying to keep it around $300 to $4000. If i plan on the $3000 and have to go over a little then i am ok. I have a very close freind of mine who has offered to pay for the photos because she kows how much this means to me and she knew i wouldnt be able to do it. So I am getting a real photographer. And amother friend of mine said she will do the bouqets for me. And I have 6 girls and a jr bride and 2 flower girls. That saves me alot right there. My weddign and reception is outside at my sisters place. ( no costs for a church or reception site ) My sister and her husband are doing the music for us ( no dj or band needed ) And it is a pot luck. ( not alot of food cost ) My family is that type that they would have no problem bringing food. And my sister and her husband got us a room for the night as their gift. ( another cost cut off ) So this leaves plenty for me to have the nice dress and decorations. And I can get a tent and rent some tables. And it being outside the decorations are going to eb cheaper, not as meany needed. Just focusing on the tables and such. It is fun doing it all my self with ideas from friends. Like the rainbow theme i have. All girls wearign different colors.
We are nakign our own invataions to make it more personal. And the guys might be in suits with man the only on in a tux. That one is just an idea. You wedding can be any way you want it to be and not cost alot of maoney. We are more focussed on having a big party with our friends and family. One way of cuttign down our guest list is that the weddign is 7 hours away from here we live. so some of our friends and co workers here wont be able to make it and we know this but the thought of inviting them is what counts. Just have fun with it all and dont let it stress you out.

Rainbowtreat

CarlosHoney

10-16-2005, 07:38 PM

You've got some good ideas, Rainbowtreat. I'm doing some similar stuff. A lot of people contibuting their areas of expertise and a lot of DIY.

If you've got pictures of your ideas and whatnot, post them in the appropriate threads. I love pictures!! :P

lesley

10-17-2005, 03:33 PM

Long post - a little off topic

Have been gone for a while. Me and FH had to do some evaluating of our relationship. I remember a post from Weblady I think it was, having to do with questioning your relationship to make sure marriage is the right thing to do. I have a big problem with the way my FH handles his responsibilities and prioritizing them mostly speaking of finances. I have a small problem with it too, but not as bad and small problem + big problem = HUGE problem.

To make a long story short, I explained to my baby that in every relationship (lovers, marriage, co-workers, ect) you will have an issue or problems if you will, I explained to him that one has to evaluate it themselves and decide wether that issue or problems is something they can truly live with without it causing problems. I explained to him that I couldn't live with it. Now this was when we talked calmly, when the situation occured, I overreacted and called the wedding off. We spent a few days apart.

He promised to work on it, and that is all that I can ask for. My problem is this ladies, we are due to get married in less than a year, do I postpone the wedding and planning or do I continue to plan and pray that it gets better like he promises?

Kind of stuck ladies

bnd94

10-17-2005, 03:54 PM

I really don't know how to answer your question Leslie. It is kinda a question that you need to answer on your own. I can try to give advice. My advice would be if you are not sure then postpone it. Whats one more year. I postponed my wedding and I am much happier. I have more time to plan now and more time to save $$. Money is a big issue in a relationship but don't let it be the main issue to drive you two apart. I am sure you guys can work it out if it is meant to be. Don't worry if you need to put the wedding off for a year if it puts your mind more at ease it will be worth it. I hope this helps. Sorry I couldn't help you more.

WebLady

10-17-2005, 04:33 PM

I agree with bnd94, lesley; this is something you need to do some 'soul searching' and come up with the answer yourself.

By no means did my post about "The tough questions" mean to destroy anyone's relationships but I do know that there are many, many times that some of us end up married for the wrong reasons and sometimes to the wrong person all together. Which is one of the reasons why the divorce rate is so high.

None of us can tell you what to do here, if you feel there is a problem, perhaps you should think about pushing the date back a few more months or even a year or as long as you need to see if you guys can work through your 'issues' Perhaps you might also consider couples counseling.

Whatever happens, try to remember that if it is meant to be it will be, and it is best to deal with things like this now rather than after you are already married.

Wishing the best to you!

~ WebLady :)

sstark1218

10-17-2005, 05:08 PM

I totally agree! There is nothing we can tell you to do.. you will have to figure this out on your own. Really sit down and think about all factors.. talk with your FH about it as well and get his input. If you have to postpone the wedding, oh well.. lots of people do and it will relieve some of the stress! Good luck to you, I hope everything works out for you!

CindySue

10-18-2005, 08:34 AM

Lesley, first off I hope everything works out for you.
Me and my FH had been having some "issues" as well, but we were able to sit down and talk and both realized that we were blowing things completely out of proportion. We are under a lot of stress right now, both of us. When we sat down and talked we realized that our "issues" werent worth fighting over. There was a couple of times that I wondered if I was making the right decision getting married. Having been married before had a lot to do with that. Im sure he felt the same.
I cant speak for everyone, but I think that majority of brides go through this in some form or fashion. We get so over whelmed with wedding stuff and we can easily be pushed over the edge. Things that never would have mattered much before all of the sudden drive us nuts.
Is it possible for you two to take a mini-vacation? Just get away from everything else but each other for a day or two?

lesley

10-18-2005, 03:21 PM

First of all CINDYSUE let me say that I am jealous of your signature. You know I absolutely looooooooooove butterflies and I believe that you are right. Now that you think about it, alot of our problems, never really were not problems before.

I mean, we both need polishing on the finacial intimacy part of our relationship (well some more than others :( ) but, we always seemed to managed and save. Now that I have to work with this severely small budget, I can't find a decent priced location for anything, on top of everything else and when I get wiff of his indecretion, I BLOW UP!!!

I just didn't understand why he didn't see what I see. Its both our wedding, our money, our worries and struggles. But we are working on it. He is particpating more in the planning which has come to a total shock. We have decided to push it back a few more months to give us time to breath so the stresses won't hurt us so much.

Thanks for the support

CindySue

10-18-2005, 03:39 PM

No problem. I really do understand exactly where you are coming from on the financial thing. Im a single mother and have always had to scrimp and save. Hes not rich, but could usually just go and buy whatever he wanted. We couldnt see things from the others point of view. Well hes in the process of trying to buy a house and it has put him in a bind of sorts. He now has to be more careful of his spending because hes not sure how much hes going to have to have at closing on this house and he wants to make sure he has it all. Personally I love it - :twisted: - All the times he told me to relax and "live a little" have come back on him and he now understands where I was coming from before.
Thats the thing that has helped us the most, is to try and understand the others point of view.
Im glad you have worked out something for yall. When are you getting married? What kind of wedding budget are you trying to work with? We have started a "wedding fund" and we have agreed to put so much in each week. We will stop about a month before the wedding, and will have a lot more than we originally thought we were only going to be able to afford.

bnd94

10-19-2005, 07:27 AM

Cindysue the wedding fund is a great idea. We do that for our vacation fund it always works great. It kinda feels like free money when you save it like that. At least to me it does.

Lesley I am so happy you guys worked things out. Now you have a few more months to get everything together!

CindySue

10-19-2005, 08:06 AM

Well having the "wedding fund" has cut down on a lot of our frustrations. We are both in our 30s, Im 32 and hes 37, and we are paying for all of this ourselves. I kept wondering who was going to pay for what, and this way, we are BOTH paying for evevrything.
And the bonus was, like I said, we will end up with more money to spend on the wedding that we orginally thought we could afford. We will double it actually.
What we dont spend on the wedding we will spend on the honeymoon.

bnd94

10-19-2005, 12:25 PM

we are paying for our wedding ourselves too. I didn't even ask my parents for help. My brother just got married and they ended up having to pay for most of that so I didn't think it would be fair. Plus I am very independent, I wouldn't ask them for money for anything.

sstark1218

10-19-2005, 12:28 PM

We are paying ourselves as well and the wedding fund thing was the best thing we could have done. We struggle just like everyone else and didnt even know where to begin to start saving money. Now we both take so much out of our paychecks each week before we pay anything else. Now we have more money saved up than we EVER thought possible. Good Luck!

LaceyinPgh

10-19-2005, 12:40 PM

Sean and I just opened a seperate savings account when we decided to get married. When the paychecks come in for direct deposti, a set amount gets funneled into the savings account. we are paying for the weddin gourselves for the most part. I am an only child so my parents have been preparing for this for years. There is no way that they would let me not let them help out. Sean's mother is so desperate for grandchildren that she can't get us married quick enough so anything that she can possibly offer to pay for, she does.

bnd94

10-19-2005, 12:52 PM

I miss direct deposit. I just changed jobs a couple of months ago and this place doesn't offer it. It's the only thing I miss about my old job. It does make it really easy to save. Great idea Lacey!

superstar72081

01-12-2006, 10:21 PM

I am also trying to plan our wedding on a tight budget. We are paying for everything ourselves. I started buying stuff right after we got engaged. I found invitations on CLEARANCE at Wal-Mart for $3/box of 20. They are the pretty Wilton ones that you print out yourself!

Check EBAY for anything that you might need. So far I have bought my dress, necklace and earrings, and my tiara off of ebay!!! I only spent a total of $370 for all of it!!

I am making a lot of things for my wedding myself. I am making the favors-flower seed packets with a cute flower planting saying, the centerpieces-Bushel baskets decorated with ribbon and filled with fruit and flowers, the Invitations- the Wilton print your own. I just sent out Save The Dates. I went to Office Max and bought a pack of 30 pre-cut fridge magnets. They are thin enough to run through your printer. I paid $10 for the pack of 30. Then I created a business card size design with a background picture of Niagara Falls, that's where we are getting married, and all of our information typed over the picture. They turned out really good, and best of all, they only costed me $10+postage to send them out!!

Since we are getting married in Niagara Falls, we are having a small wedding. Guest list is 50 people!! To do the ceremony up there was only $300 and that includes the minister. We are just going to a restuarant up there, Top Of The Falls, for the reception. A buffet style dinner is only $25 pp. That is probably the most expensive part of our wedding, but we are going to use our income tax return money to pay for all of that!!

GO TO EVERY BRIDAL SHOW that you can!! They have lots of great ideas. You can mingle with local brides and discuss ideas. You can WIN lots of FREE stuff!!! So far I have attended 3 bridal shows. I have already won $100 off of a DJ service, $100 off of a cake, and a FREE grooms tux rental, a discounted ring bearer's tux rental, and $200 off of all of the other tuxedos that we need to rent(4).

If you start buying a little bit at a time, it helps to spread your costs, and yu won't be overwhelmed by trying to save up and buy everything at one time!! I have an extra closet with shelves designated for wedding stuff!!!

I hope this helps!! Good luck!!