I need to vent

[winterwonderland]

Hello, I came across this website one day and started reading threads about wedding stresses and I realized I need to vent with people who understand how I feel.
My FH and I got enganged on December 24th, 2004. We immediately decided on a July 22nd, 2006 wedding date. However, every time I drove by the bridal shop and saw the red bridesmaid dresses I realized I wanted a winter wedding.
So, here we are 51 days from our wedding day and I am completely stressed out. From the day we decided on a december wedding his mom said I had to have poinsettas as our flowers because they were cheaper. Even though I told her several times I wanted roses because they are prettier. and I didn't care how much they cost. In the beginning my fiance and I were going to pay for the wedding, but my parents have since decided to. Then a month ago my fiance went to visit and have lunch with his mom. Well, she brought up about his grandma paying for the pictures if we have his cousin do the pictures. I was furious because she knew from the beginning I had a photographer. Nick said he couldn't remember that I already had one. Yeah right! He just couldnt stand up to his mother. And then we are going to have bells for people to ring when they want us to kiss and his grandmother already bought the ribbon without even asking me. Every time I make a decision they come up with something else and go behind my back and talk to Nick. I am getting so frustrated. Without saying it, they basically think my family is trash because they don't go in debt trying to buy new cars, houses, and motorcycles. My parents live great. They don't need those things to make them happy. All my life I have gotten everything I ever wanted. I just wish Nick's mom and the rest of his family would just but out and let me plan this wedding. Nick let me have full control so I can have everything I ever wanted. Then his mom keeps on asking me if I have a ring bearer knowing full I do and I have ever since the beginning. She just wants all of her family to be in it and cut out my family. All I can say is that I am very angry. I am sick of trying to defend my family. Everyone in my family works very hard to have everything they have, but Nick's family doesn't see that unless you go in debt for it.
I can't say anything because I don't want to make anyone mad at me and Nick just tells me to tell them off because is a big wuss and won't do it himself. I know I can stressing about little things, but I feel as though his family is trying to take control. I saw pictures of Nick's sister wedding and I thought it was ugly. She had a victorian/ butterfly theme. I am sorry but I do not want these people planning my wedding.

[lea m]

I can understand that your feeling angry! i think angry's a pretty tame word for what i'd be feeling if i were you!! I'd go mad if h2b wouldn't stick up to his own family!!! All i can say is what i'd do, i'd either tell them what your having and what your not, or just play along, but not actually use the items they got on the day!!

[cowboysbride]

Here's what I would do (be advised I'm not the best person in the world to take advice from:notsure: ) I can be a bit aggressive LOL!

I'd politely tell his mother for the LAST TIME that I was going to have Roses (which is what I had and think is an excellent choice) and that Poinsettias are out of the question. Do not allow her to dictate your flowers, order them or buy them or whateaver and be done with it, ignore her when she brings of the poinsettias again and if for some reason she shows up with them have a bridesmaid or a good friend ready to whisk them away so that you don't have to deal with the stress on your wedding day. If you are planning your wedding stand firm and don't let her do it!

Nothing wrong for working for what you have, Eric and I are the exact same way...we could drive brand new trucks and I could have a closet full of shoes to rival a Hilton if I wanted to but we chose to save our money and live comfortably...one day we will have children to put through college and so on. I commend your family for that!

This is your wedding sweetie...you chose your side of the attendants and your FH choses his... MIL dearest needs to sit down and shut her pie hole. Speak to her with a smile on your face and in your tone.... but do what you want to do. Don't argue with her and don't acknowledge her "advice" by letting it upset you. Politely tell her "That's nice but it's not what I want" (words to LIVE by) and go on with your beautiful red dress winter wedding! It sounds gorgeous! Can't wait to see some of you plans

BEST OF LUCK! We're all here if you need us...believe me you aren't the first to have these problems and we've all been there in one way or another!

[BriansBride07]

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this ontop of all of the other wedding stress. Just like Ellen (cowboysbride) stated we have all been there one time or another. The only advice I can tell you (and I have been there with my FH family and my family) is stay firm with your plans and polietly tell them well I already PURCHASED this and it can't be returned even if you haven't. Or that's not really the idea we were going for. Don't let anyone tell you that there is a set way to have your wedding b/c there's not. This is you and your FH wedding not someone else's wedding. Make it the way you and your FH want it to be and screw the rest. best of luck to you and welcome to onewed.

[WebLady]

I feel for you dear! I think you need to talk to your FH about this and have him talk with you to his family. He needs to stand up to his family and stand up for you.

If you guys are planning the wedding then no one else should be making choices without consulting you. If someone wants to pay for something as a gift to you then you can either accept with the condition that you get what YOU want or you can politely decline.

It is a shame that weddings tend to bring out such behavior in people as I see this kind of thing so often.

Good luck and best wishes!!

Welcome to the board by the way ;)

[winterwonderland]

Thank You all for the advice. I feel better just getting it all off of my chest. I will talk to Nick later and tell him exactly how I feel. But in a polite way.

[GrantsBride2B]

JMO! Its ur day.... make it how you want i am aggressive and i know how i want my wedding and you should have yours how u want i know if i was in ur shoes someone would get a serious foot in the a$$ but thats just me! JMO like i said b4! hope all is well and works out for ya hun GOODLUCK!