Receptions at hotels - any opinions on this?

[rockstar1]

Hello all -
My name is Cary Lee and I am from northern VA.
my dilemma is - i hired this wedding planner who came up with a budget that is $10,000 OVER what i have to work with (i have $20,000 AND SHE says i need $30,000.) SO --- to cut costs i was going to have the reception in a ballroom at a local hotel, like the sheraton or the hyatt. are many of you doing the same thing?? i really wanted a unique, special location when i started out. She came up with the idea of having a 'springtime in dc' theme, and having the reception on a boat. i LOVED the idea, and still do. but ALL of the sites around here, near DC, are so expensive. MOST of them are around $5,000 - including the boat. i can cut costs to get the budget down to around $25,000 and i'd feel much better about it - but then we may have no money for the honeymoon! so - i thought, if it comes down to having the reception in a hotel lobby or having a honeymoon, i guess i'd rather have the honeymoon.
i think i'm worrying too much about impressing or pleasing other people. i have one sister who ways it's so tacky to have the reception in a hotel lobby, everyone does it, etc. i don't agree at all, so please don't take offense!!! BUT, wanted to know where others are having their receptions! THANKS ALL! :D

[LaceyinPgh]

Lots of people have hotel ballroom receptions. There is nothing wrong with it. They can be as unique as you are willing to make them. A lot of times they save money because alcohol, food, linens, set up , cleaning, are all part of a package deal. You aren't paying all the individuals.

As for the wedding planner, if she can't work within your budget, you need to find another wedding planner. Working in the given budget is a main part of her job. I used to live in DC and remember all too well the cost of living there. But with $20-25,000 you will still have a fabulous wedding.

[CarlosHoney]

I agree with Lacey. 20k is PLENTY for a wedding. You should have no problem. Wedding Planners, don't they get a percentage of the budget? Is that how it works? I don't know for sure, but she should be working to get you a beautiful wedding for what you can afford.

My advice is to lose the planner and do it yourself. It's not that hard to plan a wedding, and a lot of locations have a coordinator who you can use for free. They just make sure that the food is there and that the cake is delivered. I think that having it in a hotel is a great idea. Check the surrounding area, because I'm sure there are other places that you can have it for really cheap. There is a place here where it's $2500 for everything! That's cake, food, drink, space. Just check it out!

[rockstar1]

thanks for the feedback so far! I NEED all the reassurance i can get. i am supposed to go with this planner wed. and look at 3 other possible reception sites. i think i will because basically i already gave her $2,000, which i don't think i can get back! - and i wanted to explore all options before i make up my mind. but, i also have a call in to the manager of the Hyatt, right down the street from where i live! so, i'll keep you all posted. I may just tell her, after looking at all of the sites, that i can't afford what she is suggesting, and i'll just go with a hotel, and i hope she'll still help me to make it a very special event. thanks so much!

[wedbyjean]

Hotels are wonderful places to have receptions. They have all the amenities you need (so you won't have to bring in outside catering, tables, chairs, etc.) And partied-out guests only have to walk to the elevators when the evening's through.

Why can't you incorporate elements to bring your 'Springtime in DC' theme and add some "boat-ish" elements?

don't they get a percentage of the budget? Is that how it works? Different planners use different methods for pricing. I charge a flat rate, never used a percentage.

a lot of locations have a coordinator who you can use for free. It's true, a lot of locations do have someone onsite -- however, usually their best interest lies with the venue first and foremost, not with you. A professional wedding planner who is not affiliated with any specific location or other vendor has your best interests in mind. (Except, it seems, for the gal you've got). You need to tell her that her ideas, regardless of how much you love them, are WAY out of your budget and she needs to scale back. If she can't (or won't), fire her -- she's not helping.and i hope she'll still help me to make it a very special event There's no "I hope" about it. She is being paid to perform this service for you. If she can't see your wedding vision and make it happen (within reason, of course -- but it doesn't seem as though you are asking her to perform miracles) then she is not the right one for you.

Wedding costs vary in different areas of the country -- and the DC area does have a much higher cost of living . But that doesn't mean that you have to break the bank and put your valuables in hock just to pay for it.

[SueMartin]

I agree with Jean.. this WP should be working within your budget to get you the best for your $$.. if she isnt willing to do that, then repalce her.. sure you can do it yourself, but WP's do take some of the sterss outof it.. if you need any help, although I am in Australia please free to ask.

[rockstar1]

You guys are awesome. thanks sooo much for your feedback. I am 39 years old and STILL have a hard time sticking up for myself, at times, that is a problem too - so i'm nervous about 'having it out' with this wedding planner. i mean, i want to ask her - if i decide to have my reception at a hotel - will you still work for me and make this a unique, outstanding ??? right??/

[CarlosHoney]

You shouldn't have to ask her to do her job. If you are paying her to make it unique and outstanding, it should be her only goal...

I hope everything works out! Good Luck!

[rockstar1]

thank you so much!l ;)
I DIDN'T MENTION though - - she did say last time we met that 'she doesn't do cookie cutter weddings' so that if i had the reception in a hotel, she probably wasn't a good match for me. see what i mean?? that doesn't make sense does it? isn't every wedding unique and special?? i think so!!! if i have it in a hotel, i would still have my own colors, i could have glorious flowers, etc to make it unique!
ALSO - LISTEN TO THIS --- in the budget she proposed to me she gave me an estimate of $11,000. for the caterer. well i found a caterer that will do it for $6,000 (EXCLUSING BOOZE). BUT - this caterer is not on the 'approved' list of vendors for the site where i am still considering getting married - on a old fashioned riverboat. so, i am working on getting them on the approved list. my wedding planner may not like this 'cause then i guess she would get no money back from this other vendor that she has not worked with before!

[wedbyjean]

my wedding planner may not like this 'cause then i guess she would get no money back from this other vendor that she has not worked with before! Who is she working for -- you or a certain set of vendors? No WP should be getting paid by their client AND by any vendor for referrals. If she is, then whose best interests does she have in mind -- 1) yours, by referring who is really best for you, 2) other vendors, or 3) hers, by getting extra money for performing the same job?

I am so sorry that you are having such problems. Not all planners are like that. Sure, there are some vendors that I personally prefer, but it is ALWAYS the clients' decision as to which vendors will be hired, not mine.

Yea, she doesn't do 'cookie cutter' weddings -- who wants that anyway? But to say you can't have a unique event at hotel???

Bottom line -- It's YOUR event, and you should have it where ever and how ever you want!

[rockstar1]

thank you JEAN! I wish you worked here in nova! i'd hire you in a flash. tonight, im just going to tell her - i have $20,000 AND I KNOW WE CAN do it for that amount. if she says no we can't. then i guess i'll have to say - ok, we're not a good match, then, obviously. right???

[sstark1218]

Wow, I just read all the posts and can't believe this. I live in Indiana and the cost of living is a lot less here, but my sister had a huge, glamorous wedding for about $7,000. Everything I wanted when I was going to have a traditional ceremony.. only about $9,000. I am SURE you could have an amazing, beatiful ceremony with $25,000. I hope this works out for you and you find a WP that can help YOU! Good Luck and keep us posted!