Pleasing 'Everyone'....

[myday]

I need help!!! Just so happened one of my friends is a certified wedding planner. Once I told her the news we were on it within moments. The thing is, is that his family wants a big wedding and I have never wanted a 'real' wedding. I felt like it was too stressful and costly. Well now that I am in the mist of planning I found that I always knew exactly how I wanted the day to be. I know who, what, when and where right off. Well my problem started when I had to start thinking about bridesmaids..............I don't want a large bridal party. So I selected the closest (3) people to me. I think I may have offended my other (3) close friends by asking them to be hostess at the reception. How do I let them know that it is not personal but I do want them to be apart of my day and they are not any less of a friend.....

[CarlosHoney]

I think that you should tell them just like that. You love them, and want them to be part of your day, but you don't want 6 bridesmaids. I'm having 4 because Carlo wanted 4 on his side. So, I was going with 3, and added one. I didn't feel that it needed to be uniform, persay, but I thought that it would be nice to honor one more of my good friends who has been very close. I feel that having 8 in the Party is a little much for a wedding where no more than 65 are attending, so it's something that we are working with.

Maybe take them out to dinner, or invite them over for food and a movie. Show them that you care, and that they are no less friends, but explain that you want to keep it all simple. You can have special corsages for them and all, to show that they are special to you.

Good luck!

[LaceyinPgh]

Here is the lesson that I learned in the last 6 months of planning my wedding. There is no way on earth that you can please everyone who is important to you and still have a wedding that you and your fiance love. You have to think and plan for what the two of you want. You are going to annoy and p.o. people left and right but I promise they all get over it because they care about you. If there is ever a time to be selfish, this is it. Have the wedding that YOU want and do not let anyone bully you into something different. If someone throws a fit like my mother is prone to do I just threaten to cut them out of planning all together. Keep a my way or the highway attitude and it will all be fine.

[rockstar1]

i couldn't agree with what has been said more. i know what you are feeling. i have felt the same way, while planning my wedding. amazing how critics come out of the woodwork - and everyone has an opinion and becomes an expert on these things all of a sudden! i also had a girlfriend who said, 'oh my god, you know i was dying to be your bridesmaid!" when she asked who was going to be in my bridal party and i told her. like you said - you can't have everyone in the bridal party, ok? we are all adults here. people who love you and are truly friends will understand. right? hang in there. i agree with lacey who said - be selfish. plan what you guys want. you will not make everyone happy, there is no help so, as they say, 'to thine own self be true.'

[sstark1218]

Agree completely! That is one thing I have DEF learned from all this is that you can't please everyone. As long as you are honest, and tell them your feelings, if they are your friends, they should respect that!

[CindySue]

Apparently this what every bride-to-be goes through. Ive been married before but I eloped so this is my first wedding. My FH wants me to plan one because Ive never done it before. He proposed in the moonlight and we wnat to be married by moonlight. OMG - you would think we were planning to rob a bank or something the way a lot og people are acting. I actually thought about changing the time of our ceremony, but he wont let me. My wionderful FH said this is what WE want so this is what we are going to have. I know this is supposed to be my wedding but every time I work on arrangements I do find myself wondering "will so-and-so like this, will so-and-so like that" Brian finally got on me and Im working on it.
He said this is OUR wedding and the only opinion that matters is ours.
Its no wonder I want to spend the rest of my life with this man!

[SueMartin]

YOUR DAY..... YOU WAY.....


REMEMBER THIS.. If people love you, they will want to be part of your WP.. however, human nature being wahat iot is, we all want to shine. and we all want other people to know how important we are.. we might not think we do, but we do.

So be flattered that these girls want to be part of it, but explain to them that you need hostesses who are unflappable and capable.. flatter them, and try not to change too much.. it is YOUR day.. enjoy.