Problem with my maid of honor!!!!!!!!!!!

[mariposa]

My best friend of 5 years is going to be my maid of honor. Well......she's a Jehovah's Witness and I'm a Christian. I want to have my wedding in this BEAUTIFUL church, BUT, because of my friends religion, she wouldn't be able to attend the ceremony and would only go to the reception. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt her feelings by finding someone else, but it is my day and I should have it where I want. What should I do?!?!?!?!

[LaceyinPgh]

Well you can't ask your friend to compromise her beliefs and you should get the wedding that you want. The only solution for that is to find someone else to be your maid of honor. Perhaps at the reception your friend could give a special toast to honor you and your new hubby. Have you talked to her about this? Surely she can't expect you to keep her as maid of honor if she can't be there to fulfill the sizeable amount of her duties. But you might mean more to her than some ridiculous church rule (yes I said ridiculous - God doesn't care where you worship or stand in my opinion) so she might be willing to look past it.

[CarlosHoney]

I agree with Lacey. God doesn't care if you're Baptist, Catholic, Muslum, Buddhist, Wiccan, or even if you worship the slime on river rocks, as long as you express your love of creation in a way that makes you whole. I can understand where she is coming from, but I also can't.

One of my BMs is Muslum. She is going to wear a floor legnth dress and a poncho, which isn't Islamic, but it is more comfortable for her. She's bending her rules a little.

The only thing I can think of is to have the ceremony outside. She's allowed to stand in a ceremony outside, right?

Good luck, and keep us posted!

[SueMartin]

I agree with one of the earlier posters.. explain to her that you value her friendship so much you dont want her to compromise her beliefs, and so as you know she cant be MOH, would she take a special part in the reception by proposing a toast/ managing the guest book/ whatever..

[WhiskeyGirl]

I have to agree that you will most likely have to have her step down as MOH. This whole religion thing gets me, and that is why I don't have any...lol...and a few other reasons, but still. Its stupid she can't go into the church of your choosing because of her religion, I mean I know its her beliefs but still, for my BEST FRIEND I would go into a satanic cult if thats where she wanted to get married. I wouldn't compromise the location if thats exactly what you want, but if you CAN come to a compromise maybe an outdoor wedding would work better for her. You should talk to HER, because that is the person that you can figure things out with! Maybe she hasn't thought about this fact and you should call her up, take her out for lunch and talk...thats the only way this is going to get figured out! Just explain to her that you love her, but if she can't set foot in the church where you want to be married, she can't sign the documents and therefor cannot really be your MOH. (Of course you wouldn't want to say it as bluntly as I put it! Lol) Best of Luck!

~CanadianBride~

[mariposa]

Thanks, but it still hurts to think that she won't be there for the most important part. I've never even considered anyone as my maid of honor but her. I just hope everything works out. :cry:

[CarlosHoney]

That stinks. I agree with CanadianBride.. I'd walk into a Satanic Cult for my best friend's wedding.. As long as there were not going to be any kind of sacrifices, we're all peachy.

I scared off a JW a few years ago. I answered the door.. Now at the time I was wearing a Heavy Metal 2000 shirt, which has a girl drawn with huge boobs and very little, red leather clothing on, with a BIG gun. I was smoking a cigarette, I had purple hair, and two lip peircgings. I asked 'May I help you?' The guy hid the stuff in his hand behind his back and mumbled that he had the wrong house. But, then I saw him continue down the street, door by door.

That's the last time I had a door to door religous person. Ah, funny stories.

So, is it against her religon to attend ANY CEREMONY outside JW? Or just be inside a church? I am not familiar with their rules and regulations.

Good luck, and I sure wish you the best!

[WhiskeyGirl]

I hate to say this but I always invite them in for a beer....opps...lol.

Mariposa, like I said before talk to your friend, perhaps she might bend the rules for you, she may not because she is so strongly devout to her "religion". Talk with her, only the two of you can come up with a solution!

~CanadianBride~

[allydawn0040]

You definately need to talk to her & find out why she can't come to the ceremony (like Carlo's Honey said) I am not familiar with their beliefs or customs either so there may still be a solution. However I can guarentee that if there is a solution but you don't talk - she won't be your MOH. You need to respect her religion even if you don't understand and let her know that you are not going to force her to step down as your MOH (tell her you have never even considered anyone else for that role) but if you heart is set on the church & she is not willing to come into the church she needs to let you know so you can plan appropiately. If that is the outcome I would still have her seated with the rest of the bridal party at the reception, help you with planning, go gown shopping together and really have her as part of the whole experience. Regardless of if she decides to attend the ceremony (again you can not expect her to compromise her beliefs) she is still your best friend and wants to be there for you. Best of luck ~ allydawn0040

[CarlosHoney]

Allydawn, I love those ideas, and totally agree.

Communication is the key!!