rainbowtreat
10-09-2006, 10:49 AM
I got this from a friend in town and thought it was funny so I thought I would share with you all.
Limited Edition New Hampshire Barbie
>
> Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls
>for the New Hampshire Market:
>
>
> Bedford Barbie
> This Princess barbie is only sold at Macy's. She comes with an
>assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog >named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without a tummy
>tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with
>"augmented" Version.
>
>
>
> Concord Barbie
>
> This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan
>and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time
>occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold
>separately.
>
>
> Manchester Barbie
> This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis
>knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is
>only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably
>small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you >are talking about.
>
>
> Amherst Barbie
> This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
>h3. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
>membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School
>Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
>
>
> Laconia Barbie
> This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
> small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six >pack of Coors light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5
>feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she's drunk. Purchase her
>pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker
>absolutely free.
>
>
> Loon Barbie
> This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski
>outfit and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge.
>Optional Percocet prescription available.
>
>
> Claremont Barbie
> This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own
>high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
>Beer-Gutted Ken out of Newport Barbie's house. Her Ensemble includes low
>rise acid washed jeans, fake finger nails, and a see through halter top.
>Also available with a mobile home and an 8-track ta pe player.
>
> Peterborough Barbie
> This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
>arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. >She prefers that you call her " Willow". She does not want or need a Ken
>doll, but if you purchase 2 Peterborough Barbies and the optional subaru
>wagon, you will get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
>
> Hanover Barbie
> This Barbie comes with her own mountain bike. Available with SUV,
>complete with Kayak on the roof and dog in the back. Optional Ken doll also
>comes with his own mountain bike and dog.
>
>
> Franklin Barbie
> This Barbie is only 14 and comes with a stroller and infant doll.
>Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79
>Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition
>of the infant.
Limited Edition New Hampshire Barbie
>
> Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls
>for the New Hampshire Market:
>
>
> Bedford Barbie
> This Princess barbie is only sold at Macy's. She comes with an
>assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog >named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without a tummy
>tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with
>"augmented" Version.
>
>
>
> Concord Barbie
>
> This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan
>and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time
>occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold
>separately.
>
>
> Manchester Barbie
> This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis
>knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is
>only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably
>small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you >are talking about.
>
>
> Amherst Barbie
> This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
>h3. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
>membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School
>Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
>
>
> Laconia Barbie
> This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
> small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six >pack of Coors light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5
>feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she's drunk. Purchase her
>pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker
>absolutely free.
>
>
> Loon Barbie
> This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski
>outfit and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge.
>Optional Percocet prescription available.
>
>
> Claremont Barbie
> This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own
>high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
>Beer-Gutted Ken out of Newport Barbie's house. Her Ensemble includes low
>rise acid washed jeans, fake finger nails, and a see through halter top.
>Also available with a mobile home and an 8-track ta pe player.
>
> Peterborough Barbie
> This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
>arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. >She prefers that you call her " Willow". She does not want or need a Ken
>doll, but if you purchase 2 Peterborough Barbies and the optional subaru
>wagon, you will get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
>
> Hanover Barbie
> This Barbie comes with her own mountain bike. Available with SUV,
>complete with Kayak on the roof and dog in the back. Optional Ken doll also
>comes with his own mountain bike and dog.
>
>
> Franklin Barbie
> This Barbie is only 14 and comes with a stroller and infant doll.
>Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79
>Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition
>of the infant.