my ex- friend

[rainbowtreat]

This is kind of long so forgive me and thank you for reading it if you do.


Some of you may remember me talking about my so called friend who slept wtih my ex boyfreind and a few other things that once I confronted her about it all she still stood her ground and kept seeing him. Even when he was trying to cause drama for me.

She got pregnant and I tried to be there for her. But she had said every time she talked about the baby and my ex that I didnt listen. I did, I tried. But thigns went bad with her and I. I found out after the baby was born that it was not even my ex's baby. She thought it was and I guess her only response was I don't understand.

My best friend who could not be at my wedding because of issues with her pregnancy ran into this girl and this girl said to her I guess I am on Gwen's Sh*t list huh. My freind told her that she had been for some time. She said well you didnt go to the wedding either. If she thinks all of this is because she wsnt at the wedding she is dead wrong. I guess she didnt listen when I told her every thing and when I gave her the chance to talk thigns out. I even stopped my her moms where she lives to give her my new phone number after I moved. But she never called.

I told her that once my ex was done with her she would be crawlign back to me. And the night before I found out that it was not his baby I had an e-mail from her daughter to mine in my e-mail and a note from her saying call us we miss you. Then I heard about the baby and knew why I got that. She needed me again after he was done with her. I didn't call her. I have not called or stopped by to see her. I left it in her court a long time ago and she didnt nothing with it.

Now I get an e-mail from her today. In it was this ......


>Me-To-You
>
>To the special people in my life. I am sending this to you to see
>how many
>of you actually read your email. Is anyone really out there? Your
>response
>will be interesting!
>Here it goes:
>People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
>When you
>figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
> When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a
>need you
>have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
>
>They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
>with
>guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or
>spiritually.
>They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the
>reason
>you need them to be.
> Then, without any wrong doing on your part or an inconvenient
>time, this
>person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
> Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act
>up or out
>and force you to take a stand.
> What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
>fulfilled;
>their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it
>is now
>time to move on.
> When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your
>turn has
>come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of
>peace or
>make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done.
>They
>usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
> Believe it! It is real! But ...only for a season.
>LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you
>must
>build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job
>is to
>accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you
>have
>learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
> It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
> Thank you for being a part of my life. May God hold you in the
>palm of His
>hand and Angels watch over you.!


With this after it.

Gwen, Please read this!! This is an email you sent me 2 and a half years ago, I was lookin up some cute things to read to my co-worker and stumbled across this. I just have to tell you it touched me again in a way i cannot describe to you, when you met Nicholas you changed, and i love him still like a brother, even though we dont talk either........I miss you guys more than you will ever know and i hate my self for losing you both, and the kids. things happened and what ever i did i am really sorry i just wanted to tell you THANK YOU for all you taught me in the years we were friends and there may be nothing i can do or say to make you want to be my friend again....But i really appreciate what you did for me. You taught me alot about who i am and the kind of person i should be.....I would give anything just to have our friendship back the way it was before you moved out of Laconia. I really miss you, and your kids. If nothing else tell Jessa that Rebecca still asks for her and she really doesnt understand what happened between us. I hope you have a nice life with your new family (Nicholas and the baby that will come in time) If we never talk again just know that i miss you and everything we did was special to me.
Chantalle


OK for one I did not change when I met Nicholas, I knew him long before we were together and I was still me. I was moving on with my life with the one person I wanted more then anything to be with. If I changed it was for the better.

And she says whatever I did I am sorry? She does nto even know what she did? She is worse then I thought. I told her many times why things happened the way they happened. But again she doesnt listen.

And I will never tell my daughter that her daughter is still asking for her, my kids have just now stopped asking for her kids. I will not bring that back up and have my kids question things again. They have moved on.

Why now? Why is she doing this now? Why cant she just leave well enough alone. We are fine. My life was nothing but drama when she was aorund and now we have a normal routine going and no stress because of her and her 5 kids.

I dont know if I should respond to this e-mail or if I sould just let it go. If you have read this far thank you and I dont even know what kind of answer I am looking for. If any. I just realy needed to get this off my chest.

[BriansBride07]

The way it sounds to me is you and your family are much better without her in your life. Seems like she is trying to redeem herself somehow but it sounds like its a little to late, I would just wipe your hands clean of her and don't respond to the email in any way. best of luck to you and the decision that you make.

[rainbowtreat]

The way it sounds to me is you and your family are much better without her in your life. Seems like she is trying to redeem herself somehow but it sounds like its a little to late, I would just wipe your hands clean of her and don't respond to the email in any way. best of luck to you and the decision that you make.

Thank you for taking the time to read that long post. There is alot between us more good then bad but the bad just took over. Yes out lives are better without her in it. I want to keep it that way. But I also want her to know what she has done and there is no fixing it.

If I made that much of an impact on her life and how she should be as a person then she never would have done all the **** that she did.

I think I am just going to do what you said and not respond but it does get to me that she had to do that. She had her chances and never bothered to try.

[BriansBride07]

She had her chances and never bothered to try

Just like you said she has had her chances why did it take her 2 1/2 yrs. for her to realize that, is there something bad going on in her life and she wants you to clean it up. GOD FOR BID.. You sound alot like me, you want to help people with everything even if they have done you wrong, but you only can try for so long and then you are only hurting yourself.

[rainbowtreat]

It hasn't been 2 1/2 yrs since our friendship ened. We met right afte I had my daughter and she was pregnant with hers and that was over 7 yrs ago. It was only then end of last year and into the beginning of this year that things went bad.

But still she hasn't tried in over 8 months. That is too long to even bother in my book. And there has to be somethign going on in her life. She is the type of person that only needs that some one when no one else is around. Sorry but I am not the kind of person to sit back and wait for when YOU have time for ME. That is not what a friendship is.

I have another friend, she was in my wedding, who was friends with my ex for a short time. But when things got said about me and it was being said it came from her and this other girl, ( my ex starting sh*t ) she cut off all ties saying Gwen is my freind and was my friend first. She has had nothing to do with him since. Unlike this other girl.

She just doesn't know what it is like to have a REAL friend I guess.

[BriansBride07]

LOL sorry I was thinking that you ended the friendship 2 1/2 years ago I knew I read it somewhere sorry thats when you sent her the original email. I hear where you coming from and I really cannot blame you a bit.

[mariaandmanish]

It sounds to me as though you've moved on from this friendship and are better off now without her. It also sounds as though she does regret the fact that you're no longer friends, but unfortunately really does not remember her roll in that and therefore, it's really not worth opening up the can of worms again. If you still really missed her friendship and she had tried when you had tried, I would say different, but you tried, she did not respond. In other words (lol), I don't think you need to respond favorably to the email. (SOrry for being so longwinded!) :D

[rainbowtreat]

Maria thanks for reading and it wasnt as long winded as I was lol. Thanks for you input. Like I said I dont knwo what kind of anser I was looking for. It just bugs me thats all.

[LizabethDavis]

Gwen,

You need to do what is in your heart to do sweetie. My guess is that maybe all of her other "friends" have gone and left her and she is looking for someone to lean on and be there for her for whatever reason. I can tell you though that if it took her this long to try to reconcile with you, there maybe some other motive behind her contacting you all of a sudden.

I agree. Move on and away from her. She sounds like she maybe a very toxic friend to you and not worth the headaches that she has/will produce for you.

Obviously, only you can decide in the end what you will do, but I want you to know that either way, I'm always here.

[rainbowtreat]

Thanks Lizabeth your a sweetheart. I will most likely not bother at all. But a part of me watch to be a B*tch and tell her sorry too late and dont bother me again. But I know I shouldn't do that either. I know I am stressing over nothing cause I know I am not going to bother with her.

[rainbowtreat]

OK after all of you and my husband telling me not to bother and me telling myself not to bother I had to e-mail herback. I couldnt let her think she got off so easy. Here is what I said. A little harsh? I don't think so. I am done with her. I just have a hard time lust leavign well enough alone at times. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. But she now knows that if we run into each other she had better not talk to me or try to talk to my kids.


OK I fought every thing to not write back to you, every one told me not to bother, but I had to. I could not let you get off that easy. BACK OFF CHANTELLE! I gave you chance after chance and you chose to ignore them. I am not about to go into they why's. You say you don’t even know the reason why and from what I got out of your conversation with Christine you feel all this is because you didn’t come to the wedding. DEAD WRONG. Use your brain. Why now? Why all of a sudden after all the chances I gave you to talk things out did you decide to contact me now after about 8 months and by e-mail? read this....... Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? ( you don’t even have the guts to do this ) But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face? I told you, I didn’t write to you, when I explained about all the sh*t that pissed me off that you did. And I am writing you now because I don’t care what you think or want because basically I don’t care to see you again. If I made so much of an impact on your life and who you are you never would have pulled the sh*t that you did. You would have thought before acting. But you didn’t. And you did just want I told you you would do. You came to me after Scott was done with you. I don’t play that way. I am sorry you miss us all but this was your doing not mine. I even stopped by and gave you my new phone number so you could call. That was months ago and you never called. You cant say I didn’t try. I DID! More then once. I am done. I don’t need the stress or the drama any more. We are just fine with our life style. And I did not change when I met Nicholas. If I did it was for the better. You were still around for the first year he was here so why you feel you have to go and say that I don’t know. You’re the one that changed. And if you think for a second I am going to tell my 7 yr old that Rebecca still asks for her you f***ing nuts. Why on earth would I want to stir that up again. My kids just now stopped asking for your kids. They still do once in a while but I am not going to open up that wound again. What kind of person do you think I am to want to do that to my child. The only and I stress only regret I have in all this is that my kids loved your kids. I mean they have known each other from birth. But the kids are fine. We are fine. The wedding was the best I could ever have asked for and if and when we have a baby you will never know. You made a point of NOT telling me when you had yours. Please do not bother trying again Chantelle. Again this is your doing not mine.


Good Bye

[ladymelissa]

I agree that you don't need someone like that in your life. Good for you! She probably didn't deserve all the time it took you to write that, but if it brings you closure, that is all that matters. :hug:

[rainbowtreat]

Thank you Melissa. I am now going to bed and writing her off in my mind.

[ladymelissa]

Thank you Melissa. I am now going to bed and writing her off in my mind.
I hope you sleep well. :)

[BriansBride07]

Good for you, at least you have closure (sp) and you can move on with your new life. Best of luck to you, she really is going to have the loss in her life without you in it, but I would have to agree it was for the best on your part.

[MOB Karen]

I'm glad you could write out how you're feeling, and be done with it. That might help you in the end. Good job, Gwen! :grinhappy:

[Goin2thechapel]

Gwen,

I know loosing a friend after such a long friendship is hard. I had a friend from third grade and she dated my brother, Once they broke up we never talked again :(

I think it was great that you emailed her and told her how you were feeling. It's not easy to do but I think it allowed you to vent and find some closure to this whole mess. You're happily married now with beautiful children and a wonderful Husband...time to move on, and I'm glad you're able to do that now!

[rainbowtreat]

Well she e-mailed me back and tried telling a bunch of sh*t. She also tried to say she was sorry for what ever it was she did.

I just could not let it go. We sent a total of 3 e-mails abck and forth over the course of 3 nights. It came down to me telling he what it was that happened a she is too stupid to remember. And me telling her that there is no chance for us again, and especialy (sp?) if she was till with him, the one that caused so much of the problems. Even though I think she got he message. She has not written back. I WILL not be freinds with her again. Some one she works with told her that maybe our daughters will meet again one day and that would force her and I to talk again. I DONT THINK SO! We are through, over done with, it's gone. LMAO I sound like a fool I know. But I got my point across. She now knows what she did, how she had the chance more then once to fix it and never did. It is too late. I also told her to never come up to us if she ever sees us out some where for my kids sake. Thanks for lettign me vent on this.