Babysitting?

[CarlosHoney]

Who is having a babysitter at the wedding? One of my BM's told me a story just now, about a wedding that she was the MOH at a few years ago. There were people there with all these kids and they didn't even watch them. She ended up making sure that they didn't knock the cake off the table and pull the tablecloths off the tables.

I was considering having a pizza party at the hotel for the kids, or having kids activities at the reception to keep them busy. The baby will be about 7 months old by then, and I'll probably want a sitter for him/her. I figured that parents might like that, but then again, would the get offended?

What do you think?

Thanks!
Carrie

[neeni13]

I have worked for a nanny agency here in Philadelphia for 17 years now. In fact I have one to work next week. I have been a sitter for weddings in a number of ways.
Sitting at the tables with the kids to help them eat and I brought things for them to do if their parents didn't come get them to dance and danced with them.
I have been in another room down the hall with a TV and games and they were served pizza, chicken fingers and fries and soda and water and cookies or frozen fruit bars
After dinner parents brought children back to hotel room so they could dance the night away while kids got undressed and in bed. ( I was watching a baby during the wedding)
Payment:
Bride family has paid me for the group
Individual families have paid in a lump sum
Payment for individual families

Remember if you are gonna have 10 children or more with mostly small children you are gonna need people.
Hotels can give you a list of Nanny services in your local areas that they use frequently for out of towners. Feel free to ask me more questions about it if need be. You can email me or here.

[WhiskeyGirl]

All I can recommend if you choose to do this, is:
Make sure you hire a "nanny". Whatever you do don't hire some bunch of teenaged girls. My cousin's wife did this at their wedding, and most often the kids were running around like crazy or coming down bawling because they had been hurt or something! The "girls" did not know how to deal with SO many kids and they didn't know how to keep them occupied. I think that if you want to do this you have to hire the RIGHT people for the job, which will probably cost a fair penny!

As far as people being insulted....yes some people may be insulted or feel like you don't want them to even bring their kids! My cousin's wife, who I spoke of before, put a note in the invitation saying that she would be providing babysitters upstairs to keep the wedding "Kid free". All of my family members with kids were VERY insulted! Basically they felt that they were being told that they aren't very well behaved children and that they were not welcome at the wedding. (Even if they are not well behaved, a person shouldn't be told that their kids are not welcome!) If you choose to do this maybe you could put a seperate invitation in the wedding invitation inviting the children to "kids only pizza party!" I think you just have to be careful on how you word this and how it comes across!

Having children at weddings really isn't as bad as they say. Of the 100 or so guests we had at our wedding in July twenty of them were kids. We didn't have any cakes on the floor or table cloths being pulled off the tables. Its true that many people don't look after their kids but in most cases I don't think they cause too many problems. The only problem we had was that we had "Putt for a kiss" with a mini putting green at the front by the head table. My husband's very little cousin kept taking the putting green apart and her parents were NOT SAYING ANYTHING! I am still upset about it,(well theres other things with those kids too but they didn't happen at the wedding...lol) I can't believe they wouldn't say anything, but other than that, having kids there wasn't a huge deal at all!

Just be mindful of how you deal with this and make sure you hire the Proper people!

~CanadianBride~

[LaceyinPgh]

I think it is a nice idea to provide a baby sitter or at least the option of one. Some people, especially with little little people might not want to leave them at home but would feel comfortable leaving them across the hall or just upstairs.

I agree with CanadianBride, get real professionals, in something like this, the liability could potentially fall on you as the supplier of the service. I would recommend that anyone you hire to do this have at least a state police if not and FBI criminal background check and a state police child abuse clearance check as well. Each of these will cost between $10-$20 depending on the state. If you check out the state police webpage they should have information on this.

I personally am not inviting any children to my wedding. Most of my guests are happy to have a night away. Some will complain. I have found that in wedding planning someone is going to complain about something. Do what you think is best at your wedding.

[CarlosHoney]

Thanks for the advice! I mean, I know that some people will be offended. I'm going to have my baby by then, and I know that it's nicer to hire a sitter than dump the baby off on a family member to look after the whole evening. We are not having a flower girl or ring bearer.. My mom would have jumped at the chance to have a night without the kids. I'm just not quite sure how to phrase it.

CanadianBride~I like the idea of a seperate invitation for a Pizza Party. That might be a better idea. Even mailing it in a seperate envelope addressed to the kids might make it more personal for them.

My plan is, to hire some girls that one of my Bridesmaids knows through working at a daycare. I figure that two of these ladies will be able to handle 10-12 kids quite well. If I can't figure it all out, I might just request that the little ones stay at home. I'm just not into people letting their kids run amock, and even less into listening to FSIL scream at her children all night.

Sigh. It's such a faux pas to try and orchestrate a nice, mature party where adults don't have to watch everything they do/say in case there is a little one right there behind them. Remind me to never get offended if someone doesn't request the presence of my child at the party that they are paying for.

:? Yeesh.

[SueMartin]

I think its great of you to arrange babysitting.. really thoughtful.. if anyone is offended, well they can learn to live with it.. if you phrase it properly.. " so that you can relax & enjoy yourself, we have arrange child minding at .... " then people may not take too much offence.

[rainbowtreat]

I was a sitter at a wedding once. A couple who was getting married in my area called the day care I was working at at the time and asked if they do such a service. My boss said no but that they may want to speak to a couple of her employees. Me and another girl i worked with decided to do it. It was an outside wedding and reception at a small hotel. We were in a building just around the back ( a short walk from where every one was ) We were there before the wedding started and untill late into the reception. The meal for the children was served as if they were part of the reception. The parents were informed that there was a room with sitters available to them if they desired. We had some of the kids the full time and others came after the wedding and some came in after being at the reception for a while. And some parents dropped off their kids for a short time to give them a chance to dance and so forth and then was back for them so the kids could be part of it. We set a price for the hours we were there and they ended up paying us extra. And we loved kids so we had a good time. They daycare we worked for allowed us to borrow toys and sleeping mats to use. It is a nice idea to offer and i dont think any parent would be offened if you just state it is there if they want it.