Telling In-Laws

[sstark1218]

I need everyone's advice on something. After a lot of talking, my fiance and I have decided we are going to 'elope.' Not in the traditional sense, because everyone will know, and some can join us if they'd like. However, we haven't told his family yet because we know they will take it somewhat hard. Any advice on how to break this to them lightly without hurting anyone??

[CarlosHoney]

I'd say, go to dinner (on you two) and explain very honestly but carefully what your plans are, and just be strong, tell them that the plans are all made, and stand your ground. If they try to guilt trip you, just tell them that it's what you two really want.

Good luck!

[LaceyinPgh]

Just sit them down and explain to them that the two of you have made the decision and why. It isn't like you are running away in the middle of night. You are giving people notice and telling them that they can come along if they would like, right?

[sstark1218]

Oh yea, anyone can come. It's just that most of his family won't be able to (work, health, money, etc) His parents are def well off and could go anywhere we want to go, but his mom has been so set on a traditional ceremony, and we have gotten along so well, I don't want to mess it up. Or make her think I am taking away her son, ya know?!

[LaceyinPgh]

Things will be fine, just tell them the truth, the sooner the better. If you two have been getting along really well that will help. She will know taht you just aren't trying to steal her baby. Expalin that this is what you and your fiance want and why. Make sure to stress that you aren't running away and that you understand it will be hard if not impossible for everyone to be there but this decision is what fits you both the best. Just impress that you hope that your future parent in laws can be there and that if nothing else everyone else can be ther ein spirit. Maybe try to smooth her feather by asking them to host a small dinner to celebrate when you get back. That was she can still have at least that to look forward to.

[gistbride2be07]

OMG thats funny this morning Chris and I talked about eloping also. I honestly dont know how I am going to plan a wedding for 400 guest and work full time and give my little angel (my son) the attention he deserves. I have decided for emotional and financial reasons it would be better if we just eloped and Chris was like hunnie this is your day do whatever you want as long as Im marrying you nothing could possibly make this day any less perfect. So I want to elope but let people like our parents and siblings know and if they want they are more than welcome to come. His mother wants us to have a HUGE formal wedding and well honestly thats not me Im a simple small town girl marrying a rich city boy so ummm yea we will all butt heads a few times right?!? I say follow your heart and do whatever YOU want to do this is YOUR wedding after all!!

[sstark1218]

Thanks ladies. Actually aside from us telling his parents, this is sooo much better than going through with the church wedding. We were having so many difficulties, we just decided it was what WE wanted and what was best for US and that was the bottom line. Thanks again for the encouragement!

[SueMartin]

Your day... your way..

explain the situation and then do it... invite them all to join you, and let FMIL plan a huge party for when you get back.. if that will make her feel better.. maybe if you explain that with imarriage being so important to you, that you only want really " special" people there, she might be flattered enough to think that they are part of that special group.. as I am sure that they are..

good luck.. let us know how you get on.