please help ~ sister-in-law troubles

[scotsbride]

hi there, im just new to this but im so glad i found this site as i feel that no-one seems to understand my situation and everyone here seems really nice. I'm really hoping someone can help me...
most brides have the mother-in-law from hell but mine seems to be my h2b sister the problem.(im sorry but its a bit of a long story)
i had asked my h2b sister to be one of my bridesmaids even tho we sometimes dont see eye 2 eye, but as he is her only sibling i thought that it would be nice to include her in our day.
i went shopping with my own sister and saw these very beautiful dresses that were just what i was wanting the bridesmaids to wear so i texted her asking if she was available for a fitting and to see the dress and from then on it seemed to go down hill.
she turned up late to the bridal shop, when she did eventually make it, totally ignored me and my family(mum sister cousin and cousins 4 yr old daughter) and went straight to the bridal dresses (she is also engaged)
then when i showed her the dress, she screwed her face up and said something along the lines of "hmm well we'll see what it looks like on then i suppose" as it was the sample dress it wasnt the right colour but it was pretty near the same shade. then when she came out the fitting room her looked in disgust and commented on the colour and the style...i ignored this as i wasnt going to bring myself down to her level (acting like a spoiled brat) anyhoo when i told her that it was the dress that would like her to wear she just turned on her heels threw the curtain of the dressing room over and then when she came out didnt even look at me and just went back to the brides dresses...(my h2b mum was also there) after all this when we got out the shop she ignored me again and walked away from me without saying goodbye...
i was very upset as i was trying to keep every1 happy and when i went home and told my h2b what had happened he said that he would have a word with her, and now she is saying that she wont even be at the wedding as my h2b has told her that he didnt want her upsetting me and that he would prefer that she wasnt a bridesmaid...that was over 4 months ago and they havent spoke to each other since and its not long till our wedding and i dont know what to do....and i am so scared incase she sees this web site and puts two and two together but honestly im at my wits end, with all the usual wedding stress im not sure i can handle this any more ive tried getting my h2b to speak to her but every time he calls she ignores his calls....please help me....:huh: :(

[ladymelissa]

She is the one with the problem. The way I see it, you basically have 2 choices. You can either leave well enough alone and move on b/c you and your FH (H2b) have tried to reach out via phone; or if a relationship with her is very important to you, you could send her a letter. The letter would not be an apology as you did nothing wrong, BM dresses are totally the bride's decision. You could say you feel bad that you don't always see eye to eye, but you hope that you could at least be cordial toward each other (or something to that effect) and/or invite her to dinner, drinks or tea to try to talk it out. But she honestly doesn't sound like the most mature, rational person to have ever lived.

Personally, I would leave it alone. I do not have the time or energy for people like that and it doesn't sound like your FH is too broken up about it either.

[lea m]

I agree totally with ladymelissa!! Its her problem so don't you worry about it! If shes not there, who cares! don't let it ruin your day, it doesn't seem like it will ruin your h2b's! Shes the one losing out!

[StaceyMc]

She sounds like a spoiled brat and you really don't need her attitude on your wedding day. I say let it go, it's her loss.