My mother hates my fiance

[septeight2006]

Most of my family don't like my fiance b/c I moved to PA to be with him. The only ppl that like him are my sister and brother inlaw. I hate the way my famiy is always trying to make me choose between him and them. Like when ever we go to balt. to visit I want to go see my family and they say they want to see me too but they don't want him to come. He is really understanding about it to. I always say that I'm not going to go, but he knows I really miss my family and tells me to go see them and he'll go over his friends house or my sisters house until I get back. But I hate leaving him behind. I want him to come with me. Why can't my family just except him. I don't know what to do. Any advise?:bbcry:

[kevinsbride2B]

Oh sweety I'm so sorry!!!!!!!! The last thing you should have to deal with is being the referee between your family.
How well does your family know him? Have a get together with friends and family and have him there. That way if they don't know him so well they can mingle in a non forcing mannor.
There is no reason that your family should make you choose. Your a grown woman with dreams and aspirations. It is all your chouice on what you want to do. THey should just be thankful that you want them to be a part of your special day. They day will go on regardless of anything and they need to realize that.
It's one of the hardest things to be torn down the middle. You should have to leave your future husband behind because your going to see your family. There going to need to accept him and that the 2 of you are together and going to be man and wife. They also need to realize that the longer they do this the more they're pushing you away!
Good luck hunny! Keep your head up, you'll get through this!

[septeight2006]

Yea the party thing sounds good in theory but if they know hes comeing they won't show up and if he knows they're coming he'll say he doesn't want to bew any where he's not wanted and he won't go.So to do that I'll have to lie to everyone and I don't think that would go over so well.

[ladymelissa]

If you are going to marry this man in six days they better get over it. Is that really the whole story? If so, they sound awfully petty and jealous to me.

[LizabethDavis]

If you are going to get married to him, then they are just going to have to accept him one way or another.

[septeight2006]

well me moving isn't the only reason they're mad. they also don't like the fact he has 2 kids ( who are so adorable), but other then that I don't see what else would upset them. Even his kids shouldn't bother them. They're great kids.

[ladymelissa]

Will your family be at the wedding?

[WebLady]

Sorry to hear that you have to deal with this kind of thing. Parents are weird sometimes but I'm sure they just think that he isn't good enough for you and they miss you and probably blame him for you moving away.

Are you the only girl? Are you the baby?

My parents didn't like my husband when we first started dating (well it was mostly my mom) and they said I changed when I got with him. Now they say he doesn't want to be a part of the family and that he doesn't act like he likes any of them (this is mostly my mom and my sister) but he just doesn't like the drama they cause in my life. That and they are just different than what he is use to and they can't see that. But that is another story.

I would sit down with your parents and explain to them that you are an adult and you are in love and about to marry this man whether they like him or not. Explain that you love them and always will and still want them in your life, but that they have to accept the choices you've made for your life.

Good luck!

[septeight2006]

Will your family be at the wedding?
No, they're not coming

Are you the only girl? Are you the baby?
No, I'm the middle child. I have alot of brothers and sisters.

[ladymelissa]

No, they're not coming
That is really sad, I am so sorry. :hug: