Writing thank you cards....

[WhiskeyGirl]

Alright all you etiquette people...how do I write thank you cards for wedding gifts without beginning to sound like its the same thing I wrote in everyone else's card?? And without pulling out my hair trying to think of something to say that isn't generic? Also, I've heard that I have to have these in the mail only two weeks after we get home from our honey moon....is this true? Any words of grand knowledge will be greatly appreciated!!

~CanadianBride~

[sstark1218]

I wouldn't say I have 'grand knowledge' or anything, but I have heard you have 4-6 weeks after the honeymoon to have these in the mail. I heard that from Top Wedding Questions Etiquette professionals. Check em out!

[wedbyjean]

One way to avoid the generic thank you note is not to do them all in one shot. Pace yourself. Write ten then take a break. Do some more later, do some more tomorrow, the next day, some next week.

Think about the gift (and the giver) before you start writing. How will you use the gift, where will you display it? How does it make you feel?

Have your DH write some thank-yous -- they're his presents too.

However, if you end up with an ugly, unidentifiable gift -- thank the person for their thoughtfulness, how glad they could share your day, perhaps "whenever we use the ________, we'll lovingly think of you."

[WhiskeyGirl]

What do I do if one of our guests ordered a gift but we still have not recieved it? How do I write a thank you card for a gift like that? The problem I am having is how do I write a thank you card to someone who's gift is going to be delivered to them and not to us and it has been over two months since they ordered it (One month since the wedding and just over two weeks since we came home from our honey moon). I don't want to end up sounding like my thank you card is a reminder that they still haven't given us our gift. "Thank you for the Cream and Sugar set....now where is it???!!!" Thats not how I want to come off....sooooooooooo....what do I do? And as far as gifts that were ordered and are going to be delivered to me, do I write "Thank you for the "gift" we look forward to using it in our new home when it arrives!" ??? I somtimes think that the hardest part about getting married is writing thank you cards!!

~CanadianBride~

[wedbyjean]

Simply put -- you connot write a thank-you card for a gift you haven't received. If no gift has been received, there is nothing to thank them for (except for their attendance).

as far as gifts that were ordered and are going to be delivered to me, How do you know that a gift has been ordered to be delivered to you? Did the 'giver' tell you? If so, then after a reasonable time, (2 months, 3 at the most), you can contact them to let them know it hasn't been delivered yet -- they'll want to know that something they've bought and paid for isn't where it should be. (It's up to them to contact the store and track down the item, not you).

how do I write a thank you card to someone who's gift is going to be delivered to them and not to us Again, how do you know this? Did the 'giver" told you? Even if he'she has, it is never proper to contact them about the whereabouts of the gift. This really is a very tricky situation to be in. There are several reasons why the gift hasn't been received -- most have nothing to do with the giver. If you would normally have contact for other reasons with this person, then (during a normal, unrelated conversation) 'delicately' bring the subject up (after a few months have passed -- you want to give them time to receive then re-mail the item). "We've been trying to get all our thank-you's out -- we haven't forgotten you, we'll send it after the ______ is received, we're so anxious to see it." Then don't press the subject. If this isn't a person you'd normally have contact with, is there someone else who does? (Maybe your mom or your mil?) Then after a few months they can ask the delicate question.

[WhiskeyGirl]

Here in Canada at the Bay where we registered all china is special order. When they do this they fill out a little card that says:
So and so has purchase this gift:_____________ for you. We will contact" (X) your guests [or] ( ) you when it arrives. This gift was ordered on ________. And a few other things.

We recieved two of these in two cards from the respective guests. So thats how we know what they have for a gift for us. I do not have direct contact with either guest really but both our mom's do. If they do not show up, I will have our mom's talk with the respective guests.

I will just send out a thank you card to the people who's gift has not been delivered to them and tell them that we thank them for joining us for the wedding and that we hope that they had a good time. I will not mention the gift and see how it goes from there.

I have already sent a thank you to the one gift that is still on order and that will be delivered to us. I thanked him in advance for the gift and told him that we look forward to using them when they arrive!

Thanks for your help!

~CanadianBride~

[WebLady]

... Write ten then take a break. Do some more later, do some more tomorrow, the next day, some next week.

Think about the gift (and the giver) before you start writing. How will you use the gift, where will you display it? How does it make you feel?

Have your DH write some thank-yous -- they're his presents too.

However, if you end up with an ugly, unidentifiable gift -- thank the person for their thoughtfulness, how glad they could share your day, perhaps "whenever we use the ________, we'll lovingly think of you."

I agree here ... Pace yourself :wink:

From my experience, you have up to 6 weeks after the wedding to get all the thanks you's out. Etiquette says that they should be handwritten on formal stationary and hand signed by both the bride and the groom.

Many brides dread sending thank you cards because of the whole proper etiquette thing. But it is really not all that hard ... "Dear Aunt Sue, it was so good to see you at the wedding! Justin and I really appreciate the "name gift" you gave us ..." etc ...

But when it comes right down to it, people would feel better to get a casual 'generic' little thank you note than not to get anything at all. Isn't it nice when you give a gift and someone takes the time to send a little thank you? :wink:

Best of luck :!:

~ WebLady :)