Did you combine your financials?

[laura grant1]

Hi ladies,
did you combine your financials with your FI before/after marriage? How did you do it, especially if you or FI bring more assets to the table? I have more assets than my FI, e.g. i have a car, saving accounts, IRA, etc... while FI has only a checking account. Just wondering if everyone just puts them all together into one account, or do i still keep my account separately and we would just open a third account for our together-expenses? I dont know how to do it without making my FI uncomfortable or hurt his feelings since I'm financially more stable than him. Any advise appreciated! Thank you!

[ChristineLS]

Not everyone combines their money. You don't have to, and it might be wise not to if there's a huge wealth discrepancy.

My husband and I combined funds, but gradually.

We both had savings and checking accounts - he had some investment money. We kept our funds separate (we lived together) until we were married (two years ago), and then we opened a joint checking account. We contributed to the account based on how much income we made. We used the joint account for rent, groceries, and utilities, and our own for fun stuff. We'd add extra money to the joint account as needed.

When we moved to Seattle (a year ago), both of our banks were not here, so we decided to open joint accounts for savings and checking and put all of our money into that. Neither of us had jobs at the time, and all of our expenses were joint. So we effectively don't have any wealth in our own names anymore. (We also don't really have any wealth, but that's another story! :P)

Ultimately, we did what makes sense for us. What makes sense for us might not be the same for you. So don't do something just because I or someone else did it. That's why we did it this way.

[laura grant1]

thank you for your advise, it is hard to do this choice.

[gwenshack]

We didn't combine anything. It seemed easier that way.

[WebLady]

My DH and I still have separate accounts; we have each other on there in case of emergency, but we take care of our own accounts. He makes more money so he takes care of most of the bills. I take care of groceries and household things.

We still talk about our finances and when we want/need to spend extra money on something. It all seems to work for us this way :)

[britTANNY]

we have one main bank account and 2 seperate ones for savings and personal things like presents and surprises
he still has his personal accound with his mommys name on it :rofl:

[amisteratwisterandme]

We keep it separate for the most part. I don't even ask him how much his paycheck is. I tell him about a week in advance what bills are due, and he gives me his portion for them. However, we both agree that we are in this together, so if I need something that he can afford, he gets it and same to him.

We don't make a lot of large purchases, but if we are going to, we discuss them first.

[firespirit]

Well IRA's are individual accounts, so I don't think you can really do any combining there anyway for that one.


DH and I have totally separate accounts, even credit cards. The closest we have to any joint account is that we are authorized users on each other's credit cards.

It honestly just works out easier that way for us. He pays the mortgage and his credit cards (and sometimes mine since we primarily use mine for collecting miles). I pay the utility bills, insurance, my student loans, credit cards, childcare bills, etc.

It honestly just worked out better for us not to have to manage individual accounts plus joint accounts. I know exactly what is going in and out of my accounts and when to pay bills, whereas that would be really confusing to have to figure it out with someone else also using the account.

[MrsDM]

We have had joint accounts since before were married, or engaged even. We had lived together for about a year and a half before we got engaged and it got to the point where I was making checks out and having him sign them. It was just becoming a PITA to split everything. Besides, DH hates dealing with finances. It works for us though.

[chelzaya]

We combined accounts before we were even engaged, actually. There was no way for FH to pay his student loan bills alone, so combining our bank accounts was the easiest option. We already live together, bought a car together, and share a lot of other expenses, so it made the most sense to us to open a joint bank account. However, I do keep our "allowances" separate. We're in a huge amount of debt, so I'm really strict with how much we spend and I keep a spreadsheet of how much each of us spend on extra stuff each month. It makes sure neither of us can spend more than the other on extras.

[KMS]

All of ours are joint. It was actually just as easy for us that way. He was 20 and I was 23 when we got married so we didn't have a whole lot of assets anyways. We then moved and had to change banks since ours was a small-town bank so we just made a combined account at that time. We got put on each other's credit cards and a few other random things as well.

My husband has always made at least twice as much as me and it's never bothered me...but I know it can be different for a man to be in the same situation. Now I stay at home, he makes every penny, but I STILL take care of all of the financials and he asks permission to spend money...because we would be broke and homeless if he bought every bottle of wine and Wii game that he wanted. ;)

[sandy03]

We added each other to our existing separate accounts after we got married, but we generally keep everything separate. I had more than he did coming in, but in the past few years we have gone back and forth about who was bringing in more. We always kept everything separate, but we have alternated who is responsible for what sorts of expenses. This has worked well for us because we're always willing to sit down and talk about it.

[girlggc]

We never combined our accounts and it's working for us.

[jamt]

we have our own account and a house account which we pay into to cover the house bills everything is 50/50 although i earn half of what my other half does i guess you guys just have to find what feels right for you both

[Nekochanpurr]

We combined our accounts and its worked SO much better for us...

[f77g4]

DH and I have been together a long time and I never really thought growing up that we would keep things separate....I actually kind of thought it was a bit ridiculous....a lot of that may stem from one particular incident with DH's parents who keep things separate. One night when I was out there, FFIL at the time was going to run into the store, FMIL asked if he could pick up a cabbage for supper and he physically stood there until she got him the money....umm really??

Anyways, as it would turn out, DH and I were together for so long before getting engaged/married that I had all my automatic payments set up to be taken out of my account. Plus we've really learned that DH is a spender and I am a saver so we keep things separate.

We each have our own accounts and we have one joint one that pays our mortgage and is a means of transferring money to each other. It is kind of a PITA but this is the only way I could probably sleep. I feel better this way since DH tends to buy whatever he wants whenever he wants.....and when the true amount of his credit card debt came out earlier this year I just about died and it drove me crazy.

I take care of the finances and let DH know his share of any expenses. The bills would never be paid on time if it were up to him.

I will pick up things without his half and vice versa and then we just work it all out between us.