religious problems

[DougsBaby]

:censored: i recently posted on a different wedding board and was attacked, i merely asked how i could incorpate three religions in one wedding, i was born and raised lutheran, converted to wiccan, most my family knows, but still want to see my married in a christian fashion, so i agreed, my fh is prebsytarian, and he has no problem with me being wiccan or getting married in a lutheran church, i was called a hypocite for getting married in a church, both my parents are dying and want to see me get married in the church i was baptized in, so i think i am doing the right thing, so i dont understand why ppl think they can go off on you for no reason, my wedding date keeps changing, my brides maids and maid of honor all like their dresses though, my fh is moving to my town so i can take care of my parents, so thats the good things, but my trouble is how to include my birth religion, my now religion and my fh religion in one cermony, and pls dont call me a hypocite. thanks.:bbmrgreen:

[LaceyinPgh]

Well, if you are getting married in a specifc church, you are going to have to abide somewhat by what they tell you. I don't know the differences in a Lutheran and Presbyterian service. I would assume that basically those are going to be at least somewhat the same. Your problem is going to be being allowed to incorporate your Wiccan beliefs into that since most mainstream Chrstian churches would consider that a "pagan" religion. My adivce would be to contact the church you are getting married in and schedule a time to sit with the minister to go over this. If he/she is more liberal you might be able to work in some aspects of a Wiccan ceremony into your own. (I'm not sure what all a Wiccan ceremony incorporates having never been to one.) But if your minster isn't so easy going, you may have to be stuck picking which is more important to you and your fiance, the Lutheran service or the Wiccan customs.

If you can't get your minster to work things out, I would advise two things. The first one is to contact a Unitarian Church and minster. This is of course if you aren't heart set on getting married in your Lutheran church but still want a Christian ceremony. They tend to be a bit more liberal and would be more willing to incorporate Wiccan customs into a service. Also, they usually don't have an issue working other Christian customs into the service. It is my understanding that you and your fh would have total control. If that doesn't sui you, than perhaps you could do the Lutheran?Presbyterian ceremony at your church and then possibly incorporate one or two of the Wiccan customs at your reception.

Good luck, I don't envy you. I will tell you though, I did give up the civil ceremony that I really wanted to appease family members. I got married in the church that they wanted me to. It is the biggest regret of my wedding day. So before you go giving anything up, think long and hard about it.

[Kacie_bride]

I am Lutheran and I don't really think many Lutheran churches would allow any Wiccan customs in a ceremony. However, like Lacey said, you should make an appointment and talk to the pastor. I'm not really knowledgable about Wiccan beliefs or customs so I couldn't say with a 100% certainty what they would think.

I like Lacey's suggestion of having a Christian ceremony and then incorporate Wiccan into the reception. It may help keep the peace. In the end I think you should do whatever makes you happy. This is your day!

[Jenn060306]

Hi, Welcome to the board.
I'm sorry i don't know much about Lutheran or Wicca. But possibly you could have 2 ceramonies. One in the church you were born into to. Then one with the Wicca.
I wish you good luck coming up with a solution. Let us know what you do come up with.

[ladymelissa]

I am not really familiar with either of those religions, either. I think Lacey made some excellent ideas. When you talk to your Lutheran pastor and you ask to incorporate some Wiccan traditions, is there any way to just name the ceremony or describe the things you want to add without saying what religion they are from? They might be beautiful inclusions, but if you are dealing with a very conservative pastor, the minute the word Wiccan comes out of your mouth he/she might shut down.

As a side note I was raised Catholic and DH was raised Methodist, but we married in a Presbyterian church.

[AngelinLove]

I think that if itis really important to you to have your ceremony in the Lutheran church for your parents, then you should do just that. Then when you get to the reception venue you could have a small Wiccan ceremony for you, your FH and anyone else that you wanted to invite. That way you will get both and will not have to worry about the rules of the church.

[DougsBaby]

:bbmrgreen: very excellent suggestions, one of my wicca friends came up with doing a handfasting, which is where you tie the bride and grooms hands together, its a traditionally wiccan thing that i can add to my ceremony, i will talk to my pastor about it. ty ladies you have been so helpful:bbmrgreen:

[ladymelissa]

:bbmrgreen: very excellent suggestions, one of my wicca friends came up with doing a handfasting, which is where you tie the bride and grooms hands together, its a traditionally wiccan thing that i can add to my ceremony, i will talk to my pastor about it. ty ladies you have been so helpful:bbmrgreen:

Handfastings are very beautiful and somewhat popular, I have talked with a few people who have done this. I hope the Lutheran church doesn't have a problem. Best wishes. :D

[WebLady]

I am not going to judge you or put you down for what you want to do in your life or your wedding for that matter. But as Kacie said, you may have a hard time trying to incorporate much of your wiccan practices in a church setting.

I think it would be easier for you to incorporate something from all three beliefs if you were to get married in a hall or some other neutral place. But if it is really important to you and/or your family to get married in a church then you should (like others said) talk to the pastor and tell him your wishes and hopefully you can work out some sort of compromise.

I used to be somewhat into wiccan stuff back in the day and though I'm not that anymore, I do like the hand-fasting idea.

Best of luck in whatever you end up doing!!

Oh and Welcome to the board :bbmrgreen:

[mariaandmanish]

Welcome to the board!! I think the handfasting is a great idea, and should not be a problem for most ministers. I think that it might be easier for you to incorporate Wiccan traditions if you don't actually mention that they're Wiccan, but just that they are traditions that are important to you. And, like others said, if you can't find a Lutheran minister to do it for you, see other ministers in other Christian faiths to see if you can find someone who is willing to incorporate all three faiths. Good luck, and welcome!

[70707Bride]

I'm Lutheran and I don't think that Wicca would fly in my church either. Maybe you could have 2 weddings. One Christian one, and one Wiccan one. My best friend has a new bf of about 3 weeks now. Its kinda weird and there's a huge story to it, but they've already decided that if they're still together in 2 years, they'll get married. She's Christian, and he's Pagan (sp?). They decided to have a wedding both ways.

[Valmai]

What if you had the usual ceremony at the church and then at the reception had the handfasting or something similar to incorporate your own beliefs? I know things are more religous over there but in the UK i think many people get married in Church without actually having any kind of religion - they just do it 'cos its the done thing - myself im having a civil ceremony!
Good luck with it x

[kevinsbride2B]

Last year I went to a Jewish, Muslim and a Catholic wedding. The groom was catholic and the bride's father was Jewish and her mother muslim. They too wanted to have them all rolled into one. They chose a United Church for the Ceremony. They were able to have all the customs brought together with a Christian backing.
The United Church is very easy going for the most part as long as you don't plan to contradict yourself as any church would feel. Bringing some Wiccan customs should be alright as long as you don't get up there and contradict what the minister says.

[septemberbride06]

Hi, Welcome to the board.
I'm sorry i don't know much about Lutheran or Wicca. But possibly you could have 2 ceramonies. One in the church you were born into to. Then one with the Wicca.
I wish you good luck coming up with a solution. Let us know what you do come up with.

I think that is a good idea. Everyone could still attend both, and you would still be getting your way. :bbmrgreen:

[LizabethDavis]

I don't think that you should do something just because it is what your parents want you to do, even if they are dying. You are who you have become and your FH fell in love with that person. Do what makes you happy.

I do like the idea of doing a church wedding and then when you arrive at the reception, do a handfasting. Good luck and welcome to the board!!

[Michelle_Allmon]

sent you a PM.