Small Ceremony Frustrations

[racecargirl]

I need some opinons here because i really don't know what to do. Originally our wedding ceremony was going to be us, the people standing up for us, and our parents, and of course the minister. That's it.

Truthfully not my idea. I wanted small, but I was thinking 20 people. Well, I found out my AFS (foreign exchange) sister from Italy is coming with her husband and parents. I think if someone is willing to fly all the way from Italy to my wedding, they should attend. So +4

Well, my sister was going to be a bridesmaid and we had a falling out. But I still would like her at the wedding. So include her and my niece +2

My best friend is my MOH. Her husband is like a brother to me. I would like it if he was allowed to come to. But that would mean we would have to invite my FH best man's wife (who neither of us gets along with very well). + 2

My FH is really not happy at the idea of 8 additional people. He was ok at first with my friends from Italy and my sister and my niece attending. But he really doesn't want to invite my friends husband and his friends wife.

I already have aunts and uncles and cousins mad at me. I'm frustrated because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I understand my FH's want for a small intimate wedding. But is 12 people really outrageous?

It's to the point where I have people bugging me about it and I now tend to wonder if I shouldn't have just kept it at us and his parents. It seems like if you make an exception for one person everyone else then expects to be included.

Maybe I'm just overanalyzing this. Anyone else with this problem?

[JennF]

We ran into a similar problem at one point. I won't go into the details, but I ended up reminding everyone that our venue is really small and that we have limited room on the guest list.

I think people just get really strange about weddings...even when they don't really want to go, they want to be invited. There are friends of the family who have never travelled out of the country and never will travel out of the country...but somehow I'm snubbing them if I don't invite them. :bbconfused:

One thing you could do is suggest that you'll have some sort of party for everyone that can't be there at a later date.That's what we're doing. I'll admit that it's a little easier for us because we're technically having a destination wedding. But it might help.

[racecargirl]

Well, later that evening we are having a reception and everyone is invited to that. And the wedding will be at around 4pm on a Friday. The reception will be at 7pm that night. The ceremony shouldn't last very long and then we are going bar hopping until the reception. The ceremony is outside so technically if people really want to they can drive or walk by and see what's going on. The people from Italy and my sister have already been invited. I don't know if I should extend it to the 'wedding parties' spouses.

[Kacie_bride]

Jenn's idea of a party is a good idea. However, I think if you really want to invite these people then maybe you should have a talk with your FH and tell him these reasons you've told us. It should be about what you want. It should of course be about what he wants as well. I'm sure you will be able to work it out.